by Cass Sellars
“She’s an employee, right?”
“Right.” Jess didn’t need someone pointing out the numerous faults in her recent actions.
“Not ideal, to say the least.” Dino studied her face.
“This is not news to me.” Jess tried not to get angry but failed. Dino knew her better than anyone else.
“So, what happened? Does she know about these feelings?”
“Oh, yeah. She has…had them, too. We kissed for the first time last weekend, and we agreed to start seeing each other, sort of.”
“But?”
“There was a situation a couple of weeks ago that she reacted badly to. She was incredibly upset but she wouldn’t tell me anything. She just blew it off. I had my background people run an in-depth history and I found out some things that she didn’t tell me.”
“Criminal things?” Dino asked, leaning forward.
“No. About her childhood. I mean not really her childhood, just some things about what happened to her as a kid, and she found the report.”
“Jesus, Jess. Why would you do the run in the first place?”
“Because I stupidly thought I could protect her or make it better. That she would finally open up and it would bring us closer. That I could protect myself if she turned out to be another Pam Landry.” She sighed and closed her eyes.” It sounds idiotic now.”
“I’m assuming, given your charming mood, that wasn’t the case.”
“No, she told Yolanda she was sick and left the office. I made two trips across the bridge looking for her. When I finally found her and made her listen, she wouldn’t even look at me.”
“Even you have to admit that was pretty heavy-handed. She avoided telling you and you kind of went ahead without her permission. You can’t blame her for being pissed.”
“Where were you when I was being stupid? She said I used my position to get all the answers without the courtesy of asking the questions.”
“She’s right, Jess.”
“And I get that.” Jess took the glass back from Dino and swallowed the rest. “I know if I had thought about it I wouldn’t have read it. For that matter, I wouldn’t even have done it.” Jess stood and tilted her forehead onto the balcony railing. “I wasn’t thinking, not really. I was still reeling from that TV interview and I let it make me paranoid.”
“Now what?”
“I have no idea. For the first time in a long time my heart hurts when someone isn’t in the room. I know now that I never felt that with Whitney and I was never going to. But I feel that with Sky.”
“Even if she forgot about all this, she works for you.”
“I’m well aware of that, and she doesn’t allow that to go unmentioned at any time.”
“Well, it’s something to think about. What would you do if you broke up? How are you going to navigate seeing someone you’ve been intimate with when one of you has a broken heart?”
“I don’t think I’m going to have the chance to test your theory. But I would never break her heart. Although I guess that’s exactly what I’ve done. I mean, I feel like we were supposed to meet. I want to believe eventually we’ll get through this, but in the meantime, I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.”
“Nice to have you back, Jess.”
Jess looked up at her as Dino began to wander slowly toward the stairs. “What are you talking about?”
“This is the woman I fell in love with. You were passionate about work, but you were passionate about me, too, and somewhere down the line that stopped. Let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than being loved by Jess Ivan one day and then have her look at you like a casual acquaintance across the dinner table the next.”
Jess flinched. Old scars could still hurt. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not blaming you for anything, and I had a significant part in it. But I do remember what it felt like to be the center of your world, and it’s pretty damned awesome. Make her see that and she’ll never want anything else.” She tilted her head, her expression serious. “But make sure it’s what you really want, because you’re asking a lot from her.”
Jess didn’t know how to respond, and Dino didn’t wait for her to. Jess heard the door to her apartment close before she could say another word. She stared across the vista and wondered if she would ever have Skylar back in her life. She’d finally found butterflies and the thought of forever, and to lose it now would crush her.
Chapter Fifteen
Jess walked nervously toward Skylar’s ground-floor office and fought the memories of holding Skylar, who was now sitting alone in her office.
“Can we talk?” Jess’s voice shook slightly, and she hoped Skylar hadn’t noticed.
“Is it about business?”
“No.”
“Then no. I’m here to do a job for your company.” The words were cold, the tone was icy.
“And there is no question that you do it well and you will always have a place here, no matter what happens between us.”
“Please don’t delude yourself into thinking that there is, or will be, anything between us. You have the upper hand. You control my professional life, you apparently know everything about my private life, oh, except it isn’t private anymore. So, you hold all the cards, like I’ve said before. I have no interest in letting you take anything more from me.”
“Skylar, if I held any cards at all I would be able to sleep and not feel like this. I just want to make peace.”
“It’s not necessary.” Skylar tapped on her keyboard, seemingly laser focused on the screen.
“Please come up and have our meeting like always?” Jess would take whatever she could get at this point.
“Sure. I have things to discuss with you.”
Progress, Jess hoped. It was something.
Within five minutes, Skylar had set her laptop on the conference table. She no longer felt at ease and her body language made that very clear.
Jess’s voice was even. “I brought you something that I thought you might like.”
“I don’t need anything.” She couldn’t believe that Jess was still insinuating herself into her life.
“I know you don’t need anything, Sky.”
Skylar bristled at the nickname she used to find endearing when Jess used it. Now it stabbed at the part of her she let be vulnerable.
“I just received a jacket from the Delray Boutique for sponsoring the run. I couldn’t wear it, mostly because I have shoulders like a linebacker, and I thought the color would be pretty on you.”
Skylar glanced at the gorgeous silk blazer still wrapped in the boutique’s embossed plastic drape.
Skylar shook her head at Jess, who she could still feel touching her a day before. She fought the recall and responded flatly, “This isn’t Pretty Woman and you’re not Richard Gere.” She didn’t hide her anger.
“And as far as I know, you’re not a hooker.” Jess tried for a smile, but it didn’t work.
“The point is I don’t need your charity. I’ve met women like you. I get it.” She intended to hurt Jess the way Jess had hurt her.
Jess practically choked as she assimilated the statement. “Women like me?” The tone in Skylar’s voice had apparently hit home.
“Yeah. Women like you. You wear two-thousand-dollar jackets over a basic tee that costs more than most people make in a day. You’ve never met a situation that money couldn’t get you into or out of.” If her words had been weapons, Skylar intended them to be lethal.
“Skylar, please stop.”
“You cycle through relationships like most people change channels because you’re never satisfied with what you have. People are dispensable and usable, and I don’t wish to be either of those things.”
Once Skylar started, she was unwilling to make herself stop.
“You’re powerful, wealthy, and amazing to look at. You get what you want because your ego would never let you fail. I doubt you can remember a relationship longer than a few months because the adrenaline i
s what motivates you. You drive a flashy car and never have to read a room or embark on an awkward conversation because there isn’t anything awkward for you.”
“Well, this particular conversation is killing me,” Jess said.
“Look, I need a job. I need my job. I need to work here, and I want to work here, but I can’t do that if I’m your newest charity case.”
“You aren’t.”
“Just remember, you did this, and it wasn’t necessary. You know everything about my life without my permission and that wasn’t necessary. But you did that.”
“Skylar, I know I did, and I’m sorrier than you could ever know. If I had to do it over again I wouldn’t.”
“Good. The next person who finds themselves in your crosshairs will appreciate that.” Her voice was flat, and Skylar could practically feel the shards of ice in her voice stabbing her skin.
“Please, Skylar. Just meet me after work so we can talk, and I can explain and apologize.”
“I don’t need an explanation. Your methods are clear. I also don’t need you to apologize again, it’s redundant.”
Jess just stared at her.
“You are my boss. I didn’t use my best judgment when I allowed us to cross the line. Let’s move forward as if it didn’t happen. The red file is your review file and the blue one is the file of docs that need your signature. Have a wonderful day.”
Jess stared at the door as it shut firmly and loudly. She heard the heels of Skyler’s shoes click down the hard steps and back to her office. She peered through her window and saw Skylar close herself in her office and draw the blinds.
She called Brett into her office, hoping the distraction would help. She regretted it almost immediately.
“You look like shit, Jess.”
“Thanks. I need you to look these over and note where they actually go.”
“Where did you get this?” Brett shook the pages at her.
“Skylar’s been trying to slot these expenses since she came, and this is what’s left. We need you to check them and tell her where they should go.” She swiped her hand wearily over her face.
“Now I’ve got a full-time bean counter chasing me?” His voice was angry and pulled Jess from her private thoughts.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You’re taking your eye off the ball, Jess. I need help focusing our resources on new and bigger projects, and some chick with an axe to grind is questioning how we do things?”
“Careful, Brett, you’re starting to sound threatened by Skylar.”
“Threatened? Hardly. I’m trying to figure out what’s making you hand her the rope long enough to hang us all.”
The turn of phrase made her skin chill. “What are you worried about?”
“That I just finished figuring out how to do business your way and now I have a new boss.”
Jess appraised the man she counted on to balance her. “Brett, we did this for you. She’s not your boss and isn’t trying to be. You can’t manage everything on your own—I would never tell you how to run your projects because I trust you. We just need to let her get her arms around all this. Putting numbers to projects is her job, and I trust her to do it. There’s no axe to grind, she’s just doing her job. Do you think I don’t know what I’m doing?”
He sighed and seemed to deflate slightly. “I’m saying that I don’t want to start losing our grip on the business, Jess. I loved Billy like my own father, and I want nothing more than to see you succeed.”
“I know you did.” She smiled at him. “Truce?”
“Of course. You know how good I am at the art of negotiation.”
“Well, genius, if you’re so damn good, this stack of invoices should be nothing to figure out.” She stood from her chair to hand him Skylar’s file.
He reached around to hug her before taking the paperwork, and she felt the familiarity and security in knowing he was always in her corner. If she could only find a similar truce with Skylar.
Brett turned to look back at her before leaving. “You okay, Jess?”
“Yeah. Just making sure I don’t miss any opportunities.” She attempted to appear carefree as she waved him off.
Jess considered waiting Skylar out, but she couldn’t fathom or survive another conversation like the one they just had. Instead of immersing herself in the mountains of work on her desk, she forced herself out of her office and out of the building before she could do something else stupid.
She texted Yolanda an explanation she could swallow about working from home. Instead of working, Jess sat for hours on the balcony and never even opened her computer. She was crippled by the pain of it all. A rare rain shower descended over the city, and she still couldn’t make herself move. The weight of Skylar’s erroneous accusations settled around her. She wondered if she would ever be given the opportunity to correct them. To change Skylar’s mind and maybe her heart.
She woke at four in the morning and felt the pains created by the situation and exacerbated by the rigid metal slats of the lounge chair. She heard Dino arrive home and she called up, like she always did, just in case Jess was there.
“Here,” she said weakly.
Dino jogged up the stairs and looked disturbed when she caught sight of her. Jess knew her skin had a gray pallor and her eyes were red. Her last trip to the bathroom had confirmed it.
“Any news?” Dino sat next to her.
“She reconfirmed that she hated me and called me an entitled user who treated her like a charity case.”
“That sounds harsh.” Dino had always been protective of Jess, no matter what she had done, but this time Jess knew she deserved every word.
“You should have been there. It takes a lot to make me want to cry. But I sobbed like a schoolgirl all the way across the bridge.”
“How long have you been sitting here?”
Jess shrugged.
“Slept?”
She shrugged again. “I slept here for a few hours, I think.”
“You can’t quit your life because this one didn’t work out.”
“Don’t you get that there’s no plan B?” She was incredulous that her friend would expect her to move on in forty-eight hours.
“I get that you think there isn’t. Technically there was a one-week fling after a two-week crush. You can’t quit wanting a relationship or working because of that. You don’t quit. You’ll get back on the proverbial horse. Just give it time. That company is your life, remember?”
“Yeah.” She couldn’t make her body move and didn’t try. “What’s on your agenda for today, besides sleep?” Jess asked, knowing she was just home from a twelve-hour night shift.
“Beverly the Barista from the Ferry Building is on her way over to get breakfast and get naked.”
“Has your badge ever gotten you anything other than a willing woman?”
“Every now and then I get discounted coffee and a sense of accomplishment, but I don’t want to overdo it. I swore off relationships after you, remember?”
“Aim high, Dino.”
“Always do.” She looked back at Jess with the knowing look that had always irked her. “Get your ass up and go to work. You look like shit.”
“Tell me why I can’t fall for some vacuous tart on the luncheon circuit?”
“Because that isn’t who you are. That’s why you questioned the whole Whitney thing.”
“Absurd.”
Jess trudged toward her bedroom and texted Yolanda that she wouldn’t be in for the third day in a row. Dino was right. It had been a short fling, and it hadn’t worked out, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Letting that go felt impossible.
She managed to pull the duvet over her legs and prayed for sleep.
Chapter Sixteen
Skylar glanced up at Jess’s dark window for the third consecutive afternoon. No one had said anything about their missing boss, and she wondered if they had noticed. She pawed through papers at the bottom of her thirteenth box of stored files. She made the co
pies she needed and replaced the originals.
She wanted to tell Jess what she’d found. She needed to apologize for the way she’d spoken to her. She still needed to be angry and hurt, but for whatever reason, she needed to know that Jess was all right.
She climbed the stairs and glanced toward Jess’s vacant office before walking purposefully into Yolanda’s. She was finishing a phone call and gestured for Skylar to sit.
“Yes, Mr. Shaffer. She hasn’t been able to call. As I explained, she was called out of town unexpectedly, but she wanted me to relay how important your call is to her. She will call you Monday or I’ll call you back with an answer myself if she can’t…And to you. Good-bye.” She hung up the phone and leaned into the back of her chair with a deep sigh. “What can I do for you, Skylar?”
Skylar felt nervous occupying her visitors’ chair. “I just wondered about getting on Jess’s calendar. I have some items to discuss.”
“Really.” She seemed like she was bordering on angry when she spoke again. “Do you know what these are, Skylar?” She fanned thin slips of pink paper in her fingers and continued when Skylar shook her head.
“These are messages. Eighteen of them, to be exact. All for Jess. Do you know who Jim Shaffer is?”
Skylar shrugged lightly. “I know she’s been working on a deal with him.”
“The biggest multiproperty deal in Ivan Associates history. She has been fighting for this deal, on her terms, for months. They finally caved. I don’t mean a little compromise, I mean they caved and gave her exactly what she wanted.”
“That’s great. She should be happy.” She wondered why Yolanda was being so detailed about Jess’s dealings, let alone so pointed.
“She should be happy, yes. But instead she’s MIA. Do you know the last time she took any time off?” Yolanda didn’t wait for an answer. “Two years ago, Skylar. I spent ten hours finding a hotel with free high-speed internet she could log onto from the dock before she went on a sixty-minute cruise around a harbor. She doesn’t do MIA. She hasn’t been on company servers in two days and four hours. I have half a mind to go to her house, but I can’t fix what is killing her.” She looked at her pointedly.
