by K. A Knight
I look at the others with wide eyes as they nod in agreement. I finally belong somewhere.
“Well, this is fucking disgusting.” Karen’s annoying voice instantly sours my good mood.
“Language!” I turn around and shout at Karen, who’s watching us with a raised eyebrow and repulsed expression. “You’re supposed to set a good example!”
“I’ve had enough of your bullshit.” She takes a step towards me in what I’m sure is supposed to be a menacing gesture, but her heels slip on the tiled floor and she stumbles forward, throwing her arms out to stop her fall. Pulling a face I shake my head slowly as Ripper snorts a laugh.
“Wearing heels to face off with a bunch of Villains? Rookie mistake Karen,” he responds, and I’m just about to make a comment about how he would know about wearing heels, when Karen makes a strange noise. Like she’s strangling a cat. Alarmed, I turn to save the cat until I realise it’s her making the weird noise.
“Um. Are you okay?” I tentatively ask. I may hate the woman, but I’m not a monster.
“I was going to leave your guys alone, but you've brought them into this now. I have to say, they really are the most fucking useless Villains I have ever seen!” she screeches.
Whoa. That does it. She can insult me all she likes, but I won’t stand by as she insults my guys. “Listen here you arse licker—” I’m cut off from my little speech when Karen raises her hand towards me and opens her palm, blasting me with a beam of light which throws me out of the diner. Through the fucking window.
“Ouch! That fucking hurt!” I shout, pushing up from the floor to stand, brushing my hands down my cute little black dress, which is torn now thanks to that bitch. Looking up, I see her climbing through the window like something out of a horror movie. She’s so dramatic. She was literally standing next to the door but decided to climb out of the smashed window anyway. Sensing the threat, my wings pop out of my back and I beat them a few times to keep my balance.
“Eden!”
“Are you okay?” the guys call out to me as they hurry out of the diner, a couple of bystanders watching open-mouthed as Ripper literally rips the door off its hinges. The device on my wrist buzzes as we cause a commotion in public, but I pay no notice to it. For once, I’m fully serious as Karen stalks towards me, venom in her eyes. Shit. I’m really in trouble this time. My gaze flickers over to the guys as I see them start to hurry over, but I stop them with a gesture.
“Stay back guys, I don’t want you to get hurt. I can handle this.” My serious voice makes them stop, my full attention on the raging Hero before me, but I still hear when one of the guys snorts at my comment. Rude.
Karen comes closer and starts to circle me. Not wanting my back to her, I sidestep to keep her in my line of sight.
“Oh, Eden. You really are useless. You can’t do anything right, can you?” she taunts before darting forwards, trying to press a glowing fist to my chest. I knock her hand away and use my speed to duck her other arm. God, I should have paid more attention when the guys said I needed to do more cardio. “I tracked you down without any difficulty. Some Villain. Your guys were in the phone book!”
She rains blow upon blow on me, and I just about manage to block her, my wings helping to move me out the way with a sharp flap. I’m starting to tire, I’m not exactly the best fighter, I’m more of a lover, ya know?
“You couldn’t just follow the rules, could you? Always skipping off to get a donut, or help a pigeon. Yet you were always getting away with it! You were never punished!” Karen continues to bitch, not seeming to get tired at all.
“Karen,” I call, pulling my fist back as she gets distracted by her tirade. “Shut the fuck up,” I tell her as I throw all my weight behind my punch, watching her head fly back as she drops to the ground.
Fuck. I did it! I won!
The guys hurry over to me and Streaker drops to the ground next to the passed out Karen.
“Fuck Crusher! Are you okay? I thought she was going to kill you!”
“Uh, guys.” Streaker’s nervous tone pulls my attention away from the other two just as my wrist buzzes. “I think Karen might be dead.”
My eyes widen at his words. Shit. I hit her hard, but I didn’t know I hit her that hard. Hell, I can kill with a punch? Looking at her, I frown before my mouth opens in shock. There is a fucking rock protruding from her head, it must have been on the ground and she must have impaled herself when she fell. Fucking hell, I killed Karen with a rock. I’m never going to live this down, why does this keep happening to me? My wrist buzzes again and I click on my device.
“Guys. We’ve moved up the Villain ranking! Shit, look at all those points!” Peeper practically shouts as he reads his notifications. Oh no. I look up at the guys with wide eyes. I feel bad about Karen. I do, it was self-defence, but a more pressing matter fills me.
“So we will have to go on the run?” I ask quietly and the guys suddenly freeze, looking at me as if worried I might cry again.
“Yeah, but it’s okay, we will keep you safe,” Streaker comments softly, placing his hand on my arm.
“No, it’s not that… If we are proper Villains now, does that mean no more sex in public places?”
Epilogue
“I swear, I have never seen such useless Villains,” Claus points out, grabbing a handful of still warm popcorn from the table in front of him. Both Claus and Jerry are sitting side by side in two comfy red chairs in the office screening room. The life of once Hero, now Villain, Eden, AKA Crusher, is playing out on the screen as they live watch her.
The table in front of them is filled with snacks, popcorn, chocolate, coffee, and even cake as they watch everything unfold on the big screen.
“She really is, did you see when she fell out of the shower, and then proceeded to roll naked out of the room?” Jerry snorts, grabbing the mug and sipping on the still warm drink.
“I think my favourite was her trying to entice them with that massive dildo and she ended up choking on it, and they had to Heimlich her.” Claus almost chokes on his popcorn as he laughs with Jerry. The head Hero and head Villain enjoying the moment of shared amusement, who said opposites can’t be friends?
Eden panics on screen, discussing their life now on the run and the result on their very...adventurous sex life.
“Should we send someone after her?” Jerry muses, and him and Claus look at each other before both shaking their head with a snort.
“They would catch them in a minute, it’s way more fun to watch them. We’ll send someone later. Plus, don’t you need to recruit after they accidentally killed Karen?” Claus asks, tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in his mouth as Eden starts to draw a map on a stolen bit of paper of their escape route.
“True, okay, we will just watch them for now. Hey! I know, let’s start a office pool. See how long they can last?” Jerry suggests, making Claus grin.
“Fuck yes!” he cheers making Jerry frown.
“Hero, remember dude? I lose points just when you swear!” Jerry admonishes, making Claus groan.
“Party pooper, you have to admit though, she is entertaining.” He laughs, watching as Eden draws a crude version of Jerry on her map, making the Hero cross his arms with a pout.
“I do not look like that, for starters my forehead is not that big,” he grumbles.
“Yeah, but she has your tiny fucking legs and cock down to a T,” Claus jokes. “So we are agreed? Eden will be left alone for a while?” Claus asks, sitting back.
“Indeed, now, how long are you betting?” Jerry counters.
Claus laughs, pulling out his money as they start taking bets, while onscreen Eden outlines their plan to use the train to continually keep moving countries and stay ahead of the Heroes and Villains.
“This is going to be fun.” Claus and Jerry share a grin.
The End
*Eden Runs In Laughing*
“WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE WEIRDOS? LEAVE ALREADY!”.
*RUNS AWAY*
“FUCK YOU, KAREN!”
About the Authors
Katie and Erin started writing together in 2018 when their love of the supernatural and all things RH lead to them collaborating on Circus Save Me. What was supposed to be a standalone book has become a series and lead to several spin offs. They are now working on The Wild Boys series.
Katie is the international best selling author of The Wasteland, Auroras Coven and Voyage to Ayama.
Join her reader’s group here:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/KatiesKnights/
Erin is the Best selling author of the Shadowborn Series with book two, Lost in Shadow just having released.
Join her reader’s group here:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ErinOKanesShadowRealm/
