“Yes!” said Dill. “Mom and Dad listened.”
Huh?
We all turned to Dill, hoping he’d explain what that meant.
Once he finished nibbling his pickle spear, of course.
“I was one of the mystery shoppers!” gushed Dill. “I couldn’t tell you guys earlier because then it wouldn’t’ve been a mystery.”
“What?”
“See, my mom and dad run TripsterTipster dot com. That’s why they’ve been so busy the last couple of weeks, crunching code in the room, helping out with the contest. Anyway, they convinced the guys at the magazine that if this contest was supposed to be all about fun family activities, they needed to hear from kids.”
“So you were our mystery shopper?” I said.
“Correct,” said Dill. “I was assigned to secretly review Captain Sharktooth’s Pirate Cruise, the new Fun Castle, and the Wonderland Motel.”
“Those first times we saw you,” I said, “when Mr. Frumpkes made you seasick and when Bradley was jumping ugly in your face, you were really doing research.”
“Correct again. You made my vacation fun even when I wasn’t a registered guest at the Wonderland. We were supposed to move to another motel, but, well, you guys have such excellent Wi-Fi and I was having so much fun doing stuff with you and Gloria that we decided to just hang here.”
“I wonder why Ms. Matchy-Matchy and her son stayed here, then,” said Gloria.
“Their air-conditioning busted,” explained Dill. “They needed a place to stay over the weekend while it was repaired. Also, from what I hear, her son, Geoffrey, gets super bored super easy. You guys pulled off a major miracle keeping him happy for more than fifteen minutes. Guess it was a good thing we let him win that first Frolf tournament.”
“I’m not so sure,” I said. “I’m sorry I asked you to do that.”
“Hey, even losing was fun, because you made me part of your team. And you know what, Mr. Wilkie?”
“What?” said Grandpa.
“If it were up to me, I would’ve given you the grand prize. Because this is definitely the funnest place on earth!”
The next week, Gloria and I of course went back to school. It’s the law.
Mr. Frumpkes called in sick the first day after the break. Guess he wasn’t quite ready to talk to children again. Either that or he’d taken one too many cruises and made himself seasick.
Gloria and Grandpa’s stock portfolio rebounded to its “pre-crash valuation,” as she put it. The lawsuit against the edible-eraser company was thrown out. Apparently, the lawyer’s daughter had faked the whole gagging incident.
“You have to trust your gut, P.T.,” Gloria explained on the bus ride home. “You can’t change with the winds, because the winds are constantly changing.”
I nodded, because I thought I knew what she really meant. You win some; you lose some. What’s really important is not just how you play the game but whether you enjoy playing it.
Jimbo promised us he’d bring Air Fur One to work with him on a regular basis.
“Have to keep him out of the kitchen, though, man,” he told us over dinner at the Banana Shack. “Health code.”
“We’ll help you do that!” I said.
“Totally,” added Gloria.
Mr. Ortega told us that both his Johnny Zeng interview and his squirt gun–battle audition piece, “The Joy of Sport,” were too “soft” for the big dogs at ESPN. The job went to Biff Billington out of Philadelphia.
“Biff cleaned my clock,” said Mr. Ortega. “But I will live to audition another day. Besides, the winters up in Connecticut can be cold. I prefer the warmth right here on St. Pete Beach.”
He was looking at Mom when he said that. She was smiling. Then they both started blinking at each other.
Gloria and I almost barfed. My mom and her dad looked like they were maybe ten seconds away from making smoochy faces.
Later that week, Mr. Ortega ran his hysterical “Wacky Water Beach Battle” feature on WTSP, and the very next day, he got a call from channel eight, WFLA—the NBC station serving Tampa and St. Pete.
They wanted to hire Mr. Ortega away from WTSP.
“And,” Mr. Ortega reminded us, “NBC is the official network home of the Summer and Winter Olympic Games—all the way through 2032!”
Yep. Mr. Ortega had just found a sports dream even bigger than ESPN—the Olympics on NBC!
Grandpa and his contractor friend, Billy, completely repaired the Banana Cream Pie Room. I think this time they used Krazy Glue on the ceiling.
Also, Dad, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that we still have our Frolf course set up around the property. It’s not polished or slick, but it sure is fun.
So if you come to visit, bring your Frisbee.
And be ready to have a good time.
Because here at the Wonderland, that’s what we do best.
We take care of each other. And we have a good time doing it.
Some stories have more power than all the facts you can find on Google. Here are some of the tricks I use to give my stories SIZZLE!
“What if?”: This question is where a lot of good stories get started. Daydreams, too. What if I dueled with a dolphin? What if I saved a family from an alligator? What if I lived in the coolest motel in the world? What if a world-famous game maker opened up a library? (Hey, someone should write a book about that!)
Hook: Give folks a dazzling, pie-in-the-face opening hook to get their attention; they’ll want to find out what happens next! Grab them with the first sentence and never let go.
Planning: Every story has a plan. You have to sort of know where you’re going before you start, or you’ll never make it to the end.
Details: Details make a story sparkle! To really sell a tale, you need specifics. That’s what makes fiction seem so real.
Skip the boring parts! Even though you need details, one of the best things about being a storyteller is that you don’t have to put in all the details! Just pick the most interesting ones!
Conflict: When you’re telling a story, you need conflict—or nothing is ever going to happen. No one wants to read about a nice kid who has a nice day and eats a nice snack with some nice friends. There has to be a conflict to resolve! A missing bologna sandwich can be a conflict! Or jewel thieves. Or an actor running away during a movie. Or a competition to be named the best family attraction on the beach! Create a conflict—then figure out an interesting way to resolve it!
Suspense: An exciting sense of uncertainty is an important part of any story. If the thread of your tale leaves your audience dangling, they won’t dare let go. (Where is that bologna sandwich?!)
Twist: Sometimes you can see the ending coming from a mile away, so to keep things interesting, every story needs a beginning, a middle, and a twist. That might be why they call it “spinning” a tale.
A big finish: This is the most important part of any story. It’s what people are really interested in: What happens in the end? Wow ’em with some razzle-dazzle!
Be sure to have fun!
(Choose your answers and find out if you’re correct at ChrisGrabenstein.com.)
1. The oldest surviving roadside attraction in the United States is a six-story elephant made of wood.
FACT or FICTION
2. Back in 1926, the success of a mini-golf course on top of a New York City skyscraper led to the opening of an additional 150 rooftop courses around Manhattan.
FACT or FICTION
3. Skee-Ball was originally called Box Ball because, in addition to rolling balls up the lane, players had to toss wooden boxes into the holes.
FACT or FICTION
4. Saltwater taffy’s name comes from the process of boiling salt and sugar in salt water to make the treat.
FACT or FICTION
/> 5. The famous Pacific Park in Santa Monica used to be so unpopular that the city council ordered its demolition.
FACT or FICTION
6. Dog lovers, rejoice! There’s a twelve-foot-tall pug-shaped bed-and-breakfast in Idaho—potty trained and all!
FACT or FICTION
7. It would take a sloth an entire day to travel the distance of the world record for a flying disc throw.
FACT or FICTION
8. There are seven quintillion, five hundred quadrillion grains of sand on Earth.
FACT or FICTION
9. The world’s oldest pleasure pier is Golden Gallop Pier on the French Riviera—it’s supported by pillars made out of gold!
FACT or FICTION
10. A pier in Florida once held an inverted pyramid with live sea creatures inside!
FACT or FICTION
Acknowledgments
A big THANK-YOU (and a lifetime supply of sunscreen) to the crew that keeps the Wonderland racing along: Barbara Bakowski, eagle-eyed copyeditor; Linda Camancho, authenticity consultant and adviser; Shana Corey, editor extraordinaire; Nicole de las Heras, director de la art; Casey Moses, art designer; Polo Orozco, editorial assistant; Michelle Nagler, associate publishing and hospitality director; Eric Myers, extremely literate literary agent; and my wife, J.J., who lovingly makes me cut out the boring bits (I should write a book with her someday).
CHRIS GRABENSTEIN is the New York Times bestselling author of Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library, Mr. Lemoncello’s Library Olympics, Mr. Lemoncello’s Great Library Race, Mr. Lemoncello’s All-Star Breakout Game, The Island of Dr. Libris, the Welcome to Wonderland series, and many other books. He is also the coauthor of numerous fun and funny page-turners with James Patterson, including the I Funny, House of Robots, and Treasure Hunters series, Word of Mouse, and Jacky Ha-Ha. Chris grew up going to St. Petersburg, Florida, every summer and loved visiting roadside attractions like Gatorland, the fabulous Tiki Gardens, Weeki Wachee Springs, and the “talking mermaids” at Webb’s City. Chris lives in New York City with his wife, J.J.
And don’t miss Shine! by Chris and J. J. Grabenstein, coming in fall 2019!
CHRISGRABENSTEIN.COM
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Welcome to Wonderland #4 Page 13
