“I never should have let you do this.”
Levi’s voice was emotionless. Numb.
Yet somehow, the words still cut her to the quick. “You just told me you couldn’t have done it without me.” Something warned her not to talk, to be patient, to be kind. But she ignored that. How could he have said that less than half an hour earlier and now be claiming he never should have let her help?
It made no sense and it was insulting. Not to mention pointless. Clearly they couldn’t change the past. So why waste time saying things that would only hurt people’s feelings?
“I... Maybe I couldn’t have. I know it would have taken ages longer, but I had no right to ask you to risk your safety.”
“You didn’t ask, I offered,” she reminded him, feeling her patience wearing thin. She heard it in her voice, the harsh edges of frustration. It wasn’t anger with him, she reminded herself. It had been a traumatic experience just now. A traumatic week, really.
“But I—”
“You know, Levi, you can’t make other people’s decisions for them. You can’t decide that I shouldn’t have helped you. You can’t decide anything except what has to do with you. You can’t decide that because you were married once and it ended badly that you’re never going to let anyone else love you.” The last part came out in one big whoosh of breath.
Adriana gasped as she realized what she’d said. Had she consciously known she loved him until she said that? No, but she did. It was true.
But it didn’t need to be said now, not in a long tirade like that when she’d thrown his past in his face, even if it was meant to be an encouragement that he could one day have a better future. And it wasn’t like she’d even had the courage to say she loved him, to tell him he could have a future now.
She’d just tossed out his past failure and berated him with it.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she said quickly, but not quickly enough.
Pain had etched itself across Levi’s face.
Subtlety had never been her strong point, but she didn’t generally go for the jugular in conversations. She’d hurt him just now, mentioning how his marriage had ended badly. She’d unintentionally used that as a weapon. She hadn’t meant to, but that didn’t mean it was less painful. And there was nothing she could do to undo that.
“Levi...” She trailed off. All her apologies would go unacknowledged.
He nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.”
She stilled. “Oh, yeah?”
He turned down one street, then another. Then onto hers.
He parked in her driveway and met her eyes. “I can’t decide not to let anyone love me, but I can sure decide not to love anyone else.”
She felt the words stab her heart like a knife. Like hers must have felt to him earlier. She nodded. Swallowed hard. “Thanks for driving me home.”
She had so many questions that weren’t going to be answered. Why had the SUV tried to run them off the road and then backed off? When Levi ran the plates, who would the car come up as registered to?
He was the officer. He would learn the answers to those questions and have no reason to tell her. Because even though it hadn’t been said, Adriana knew she was done with this investigation. Levi would leave the last burial site alone, or go without her.
They were finished, too.
Whatever of “them” there had been. It was just a kiss or two. Nothing that should have rocked her world the way it did, but maybe it was for the best. She didn’t know why right now, but the empty platitude was all she had to offer herself.
A verse about God working for good to those who were “called according to his purpose” came to her mind. She didn’t remember where it was from, but welcomed the reminder that God works things out for His people.
Maybe things would work out. Or maybe this was them working out.
“Goodbye, Levi.”
He nodded to her. “I’ll stay until someone else gets here.”
Adriana nodded. She’d long since stopped fighting the extra security. She wanted to live.
And she wanted to fall in love again. Even if that meant risks.
She’d wanted to let herself fall in love with Levi. Actually, she already had. It just looked like she was the only one who’d let her mind go there.
“Thanks.” She opened the car door and exited with Blue. “For everything,” she said with finality, and then walked inside.
Once the door was all the way shut, she finally let herself cry. For Levi, for Robert, for all of it.
* * *
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Levi didn’t know what he was upset with himself for most. Starting that conversation in the car? Abandoning it when he’d panicked? Or planning to tell Adriana that he loved her and then blowing up any chance they’d had at a relationship after she’d made a careless comment that had hurt him?
Calling it careless wasn’t exactly true. He was pretty sure she’d meant it to hurt him, at least in some way, but they’d just had a near-death experience. She’d been tense, angry, boiling over with frustration.
Instead of answering in a kind voice and calming down, he’d reacted, too. And now it was too late to fix anything. He’d seen the shuttered look come over her eyes.
He wasn’t the only one who had been hurt in the past. And now they’d both hurt each other again.
See, this was why he should focus on his work and not people. Because people did let you down, even when they loved you.
He had no idea how some people made it work. Like his parents, who had been married for thirty-five years. Or Jim, who’d been married for somewhere around forty at this point. His thirty-fifth anniversary had been when he’d still worked at the police department. They’d had a cake for him.
He should call her and apologize, and see if there was any way they could...
What? There was nothing to do. Nothing to patch up.
Did he call and try to mend their friendship at least?
Judah was at her house now. He’d tried to get another officer to do it, but had finally had to accept that he was the only one with the time.
“Just leave her alone about me, okay? There’s nothing going on anymore,” he’d said to his brother.
Judah had just raised his eyebrows. “I’m not your dating coach.”
Sure, now he wanted to be uninvolved.
Levi had gone to the police department to meet with Wren, who had information on the bodies they’d recovered today. She’d called in some colleagues to help with the sheer volume of work, but all three victims were from over two decades ago. Female.
More details would emerge with time, but so far they fit the profile.
One victim from the first set of murders. One victim from the most recent set. None in between. When Adriana had the idea to help, Levi had been so sure he’d find a link between both cases, and that the link would be in the form of murder committed between then and now.
Instead there were no bodies from that time frame.
The killer had truly stopped killing for over twenty years.
Levi paced his office, then sat down in his chair. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t bother Jim and would let the man enjoy his retirement, but there was one question he wanted someone else’s perspective on.
And now he couldn’t get Adriana’s.
He picked up the phone, dialed and listened to it ring.
“Levi, how are you doing? How’s the case?” Jim’s voice was warm, as usual, with a smile.
“I’m good. A little stuck, actually, on the case, so I wanted to get your thoughts on something.”
“Please do. I’m stuck at home watching romance movies.” He lowered his voice. “And if I have to watch another one I’m going to lose my mind.”
Levi suppressed a laugh. He supposed that was one small bright side of how badly things had en
ded between him and Adriana before they even began.
Then an image of her, tucked into a fleece blanket, on his couch watching a predictable Christmas movie crossed his mind.
It almost made it hard to breathe; that was how much he wanted the future he envisioned. How much he wanted her in his life.
He’d go back over tonight and talk to her. Maybe she wouldn’t forgive him right away, but surely he could have one more chance, right?
Adriana was special, different. The only second chance he wanted in his life. He didn’t want to lose her.
Jim cleared his throat. “You okay?”
Levi hadn’t been paying attention, and as usual his old partner had noticed. The man seemed to notice everything.
“Yeah, uh, I’m fine. Listen, Jim. I meant to leave you out of this case and let you just enjoy being retired.”
“Like I said. Watching made for TV movies. Please, ask me.”
“So what would make a serial killer stop killing for more than twenty years?”
Silence.
“Jim?”
“He, uh, the killer, uh...stopped for over twenty years?”
Had he told his old partner about the cold case he’d found? Levi wasn’t sure now. He filled him in with vague details. No need to get bogged down.
“Huh... So the first case was—”
“Nearly thirty years ago,” Levi told him.
“That’s strange.” Jim’s voice was softer now, like he was holding the phone farther away from his ear. “Listen, Levi, this case, maybe you should...”
The call dropped.
Levi frowned. Then called back. It went straight to voice mail.
Was Jim having a heart attack? He was in good shape but it wasn’t completely impossible. Levi didn’t know what else besides sudden illness would have made him respond that way.
Surely if the killer himself had walked into the room Jim would have exclaimed, not tried to be subtle.
Levi mentally replayed their conversation. No, he had no idea what the problem was. But he didn’t like it. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered about the medical-problem option.
He called 911 and asked for a welfare check with EMTs. If Jim was sick, they were the best ones to see about him. Did Levi dare go over there, knowing it was dangerous to be where Levi was right now, with a serial killer after him? Levi could be putting Jim in danger. Nah, he wouldn’t do that to Jim. He’d wait and let the EMTs do their job and then talk to him later.
He’d already dragged one person down into this danger with him. And he wished with everything inside him that he could get her out. But it was too late.
* * *
“I just want to take her on a walk.” Adriana tried again, having been told by Judah five seconds before that under no circumstances was she going anywhere. She’d been sitting in the house for hours. She’d left Judah outside in his car for a long time, then finally had gone outside a few minutes before to see if he wanted some coffee. He’d said yes and come inside.
It was then that she’d very calmly suggested that she might like to go for a walk.
He hadn’t responded very calmly.
“And am I correct in saying that it was only earlier today you had someone following you and trying to kill you?”
He wasn’t wrong. She exhaled.
“Fine. I can let her out to go to the bathroom in my own backyard, correct?”
“Of course.” Judah stood from where he’d been sitting on the couch. “I’ll go out with you.”
Arguing with him wasn’t going to get her anywhere, she knew, so she just nodded. “Okay, thank you.” She wasn’t foolish or shortsighted enough that she couldn’t see that he was doing something nice, helping keep her safe.
She exhaled in the cool night air, walking around the yard as Blue did. Babe had done his business for the night already and refused to come outside with them. Adriana was glad Blue had needed the trip out; she was beyond claustrophobic at this point and the fresh air was already helping her relax. As much as she could in this situation. Her house was on one of the edges of Raven Pass, and she could walk straight from her unfenced backyard—her dogs were trained to stay close to her—into the woods and hike endless miles of trails.
That thought had always comforted her, since she’d always loved the outdoors, but with the time she’d spent in the backcountry this week, unburying bodies and secrets, it felt like an eerie thought.
She wasn’t so far removed from them as she wished she was.
“Almost done, sweetie?” she asked Blue, then looked around to find Judah. He was still in the yard, but farther away.
Blue trotted toward her.
“I’m heading in, okay?” she asked Judah.
He nodded. She headed for the door. She was almost there when Blue stopped, turned her head to the right and let out a long, guttural howl. Blue moved toward the side of the house and out of view.
Adriana frowned. Looked at where Blue had gone, then back at Judah. She wanted to be responsible, but she wasn’t going to let her dog run away, either. She needed Blue.
“I’ve got to get her.” She motioned with her hands. He was shaking his head, she could see that even though he was far away, and hurrying toward her now, but she needed to get to her dog.
She rounded the corner of the house. Blue was lying on the ground like she’d just alerted to a body. Adriana was wracked with guilt. Had she pushed her too hard? What else could have...?
“Hello.”
She heard the voice at the same time as she felt a knife enter her side.
It was a woman.
And Adriana was fairly certain, as her vision started to swim in darker and darker shadows, that she was the one responsible for all the murders.
The serial killer had found her.
And Levi was nowhere nearby to save her.
SIXTEEN
“Did you guys get there yet?” Levi had called a friend, Isaac, who was an EMT with Raven Pass.
“We did. No one is home.”
“I told you he hung up. Can you break down the door or something?” He felt a little absurd asking—no doubt Jim would laugh at him for his excessive worry, but he couldn’t shake the concern.
“We got inside. No one is here.”
Hard, cold dread fell like ice in his stomach.
If Jim hadn’t had any kind of medical incident... He hadn’t been taken by the killer, had he?
Levi’s mind raced. That last conversation. Jim’s strange reaction to what Levi had found. And then the line had gone dead.
All he could think of was Jim’s wife... What was her name? Rosie?
Jim’s wife must be around sixty years old. Yes, they were both in shape because they liked to hike together.
Surely Jim’s wife wasn’t...
Levi didn’t care how absurd the idea was because it didn’t really matter who, not at this point. All that mattered was that Jim was in trouble.
“I’ll be right there,” he told Isaac and hung up the phone.
He hurried to his car and called Judah on the way. On the off chance his crazy suspicion about Jim’s wife was correct, he wanted his brother to be on the lookout and not let Adriana be alone with the sweet-looking woman if she came over. Even if he’d ruined his chances with her forever, he wanted her safe. It still felt like his job to protect her. While the phone rang, he navigated the dark roads, hating the fact that fall had stolen the daylight. It wasn’t quite all the way dark yet, but it was coming.
“Levi. Something has happened.”
Judah’s voice was gravel rough. And not hopeful.
“You heard about Jim already?” Levi asked.
“No.” Silence.
“Judah. What?” Levi couldn’t keep the tension from his voice.
“It’s Adriana. She’s gon
e.”
“She’s—” Levi couldn’t breathe. It felt like he’d been gut punched. Except this time he’d never be able to catch a full breath again.
“They took her.”
Alive. She is still alive. Not dead, like he’d assumed from his brother’s phrasing.
“You were supposed to watch her!” His voice raised in volume and he didn’t hold back any of his frustration.
“I was. She went to get her dog and I ran after her. When I rounded the house, something hit me over the head and knocked me over.”
“How long were you passed out?” Levi was still biting back anger.
“Not long. A minute? Maybe not at all but I was disoriented. I’m sorry, Levi.”
It could have been one minute or thirty. Judah had no way of knowing, and Levi knew it wasn’t his brother’s fault.
“I’m on my way,” Levi said and hung up.
Levi swallowed hard and hit the gas, changing his course for Adriana’s house. His old mentor could handle himself—at least Levi hoped so. But Adriana wasn’t used to people like this and had no training for dealing with a killer.
Why had he left her at all? Oh, that’s right, he’d been afraid of the feelings growing between them and scared he’d be right back where he’d been years ago, torn between his job and a woman. Except this time, he should have realized, there was a difference. Adriana hadn’t asked him to give up anything. She hadn’t complained. She hadn’t questioned.
All she’d done was care.
And he’d let her down.
He bit back anger. Barely. “I’m on my way.”
* * *
Her side hurt. It was strange, how one part of her body could throb in exhausting pain while the rest of her felt fine. Adriana would have thought all of her would hurt, but no, only the stab wound.
Was that how death was, too? she wondered.
“Walk faster.” She was shoved forward, farther down the dark trail behind her house. She’d never walked very far this way before. They’d hiked in for a little while, ten minutes maybe, and then turned left. Adriana had always turned right, toward the developed trails. Left led to private land, so she’d never explored that way.
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