by Raquel Belle
“Naomi?” A nurse stood in the doorway with an open chart. With my heart in my throat, I stood up, followed by Josh. “Is this dad?” the nurse asked, her name tag said, “Joanna.”
“Yes, he can come with me, right?” I asked.
“Of course. Follow me please,” she said. She led me straight to an exam room, took my vitals and gave me a paper gown to change into. She gave me the rundown of what was going to happen. We would get to see the little pea inside of me through an ultrasound and I’d be getting my blood drawn for routine lab work. Joanna stepped out of the room so that I could change.
“You okay?” Josh asked. I stepped down from the table and felt very vulnerable all of a sudden.
“No,” I said and pulled the curtain to change. “I’m going to get huge. Did you see those women out there? I’m gonna get huge and then have to push a watermelon through my vagina,” I said.
“Naomi, the baby won’t be the size of a watermelon. Plus, there’s epidural and…stuff,” he said. I rolled my eyes, held the gown closed with one hand and pushed the curtain aside. “Don’t think about the birth yet, we have months until that time,” he said.
“Josh, how can I not think about the birth?” I sat on the table again and put my face in my hands. I looked up when there was a knock on the door and Doctor Reveena stepped in. She was a gorgeous woman with tan skin and big almond eyes. Her thick black hair was wound into a bun. She could’ve been from anywhere.
“Hi, Naomi, I’m Doctor Reveena, nice to meet you,” she said and shook my hand.
“Nice to meet you, my sister wrote poems about how great you are, I was happy to get an appointment,” I said.
She laughed and pressed her hands over her heart, “Aw, that’s so nice. Yeah, Jess and I always click. She was right to send you here, you’re in good hands. I understand this pregnancy came as a surprise?” she asked. Doctor Reveena paused to greet Josh.
“Entirely. I was on birth control when it happened,” I said.
“That does happen from time to time. Don’t worry, as long as you’ve stopped taking the pill and started pre-natal vitamins the baby should be alright,” she said.
“Yeah, I got the brand the office told me about when I was making the appointment,” I said. She nodded in approval and then the nurse knocked on the door and came in with a rolling ultrasound machine. There were some things on the keyboard, I recognized a needle and the vials for drawing my blood. My nerves ratcheted up and I glanced at Josh, who got up and stood beside me.
“No need to be nervous. For all new moms we do the routine bloodwork, just to get a feel for your levels and make sure everything is healthy. How long have you been off of the birth control?”
“Um…like a week?” I said. She picked up her tablet and put in that information while the nurse was getting the ultrasound machine set up.
“So what can we see on the ultrasound at this point?” Josh asked.
“Just a tiny bundle of cells, really. At this stage it’s more for me to get a look at the placement of the embryo and check the size,” she said. She turned to her nurse and offered to take my blood while Joanna fussed with the machine.
“This might be a dumb question…” I said.
“No, no. There’s never any dumb questions. Ask away, now is the time to prepare so ask all the questions you can think of,” Doctor Reveena said.
“Can you gauge how big the baby will be this early on?” I asked.
Bless her, she kept a straight face while lightly tapping around for a thick vein in my arm. “No but once the four month mark comes around we’ll have a better idea of how big the baby will get before term,” she said. I nodded, then she wrapped a rubber band around my upper arm. She stuck the needle in sooner than I thought and made quick work of filling the vials and then removed everything and got a band aid on me quick.
“Okay, we’re up and running,” Joanna announced. The doctor did a vaginal exam and then Joanna rolled the ultrasound machine closer and just like in the movies and tv shows, squirted some jelly onto my lower belly and then pressed the wand onto it and started moving it around. At first there was a bunch of static on the screen.
“What are we looking for?” Josh asked. He was squinting at the screen just like I was.
“I’ll tell you when—okay here’s the uterus,” Doctor Reveena pointed to a small balloon outlined on the screen. “And that…is your little bean,” she said and pointed to a small blip near the top of my uterus. It was fluttering a little.
“Why is it like…” I tilted my head.
“That’s the heartbeat,” Doctor said happily. “I’d say you’re on your way for a healthy pregnancy Naomi,” she smiled at us. “Congratulations.” I was in shock, the baby already had a heartbeat. It was alive, a living bean.
I glanced at Josh and he was staring at the screen with just as much wide-eyed awe. “He’s really in there, huh?” he said. I nodded, unable to speak because I didn’t want to start crying. We were going to have a baby in eight months. Doctor Reveena asked me about my pregnancy symptoms and morning sickness. She told me what I could expect before I saw her again and she gave me a packet of information to read through. It had foods to stay away from, recommended sleeping positions, how to deal with my fluctuating hormones and a ton more stuff pertaining to the first trimester.
The doctor told me she’d call if the blood test showed anything to be worried about and pretty much sent me on my way. She and the nurse stepped out and I got dressed. When I pushed the curtain back, Josh was there to hug me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight.
“I know pregnancy is no walk in the park and I know it’s gonna hurt to deliver the baby but I’m so fucking excited for him or her to get here, Naomi,” he said. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll wear one of those pregnancy weights when he starts getting big and then I can maybe go to one of those doctors who do the birthing simulation,” he said. I laughed and then took his hand and led him towards the door.
“I’ll think about that one,” I said. We walked back to the waiting room and I made a follow up appointment before we left.
“So…what will we name him?” Josh asked.
“How do you know it’s going to be a him?” I asked. We got to the car and settled inside.
“Based off of what Amy said,” he said.
“There’s a higher chance that I could have a girl,” I said, though I really didn’t know the percentages. I based it purely off of the fact that my mom had two girls and Josh had a sister.
“Either way, if the baby looks like you even a little bit, that’ll be the cutest kid on planet Earth,” Josh said. I rolled my eyes at him but smiled. He pulled out of the office’s parking lot and I felt like dozing. Reveena’s office was almost thirty minutes away from my apartment.
“Have you spoken to your parents at all yet?” Josh asked suddenly. I shook my head. “Do you feel like just…calling them?” he asked. I shook my head again.
“If they want to talk to me ever again, they’ll call me,” I said in a clipped tone. I didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good moment with thoughts of my messy parents. Josh didn’t say anything else after that.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Josh
“Amy, where are we going?” I asked for the third time. Kaden put his hands on my cheeks and leaned forward on my head, I was carrying him on my shoulders through the mall. Amy dragged me shopping with her and I still didn’t understand why.
“Has Naomi said that she loves you yet?” Amy asked. She stopped walking abruptly and I glanced around. The mall was pretty scarce for a Sunday afternoon. We stood in front of a jewelry store but I didn’t think anything of it. “Not yet and I’m not pressuring her to,” I said.
“Do you see yourself down the line with her?” Amy asked. I squinted at her, unsure of the direction of our conversation.
“Yeah. I don’t want to be with anyone else and she’s having my baby. We’re going to be a family,” I said. Amy tilted h
er head towards the store and raised her eyebrows. Then it clicked. “You think…?”
“I think you should be thinking about it,” she said. I took a deep breath and then walked towards the store. Before stepping in, I took Kaden off of my shoulders. We were greeted by a couple of the clerks standing behind the counters. Amy asked where the engagement rings were and we were directed to a case in the far back of the room. “You know mom and dad are going to ask these questions. I’m just priming you before you tell them and they annoy you,” Amy said.
I shrugged, already anticipating what my parents would say. My eye was caught by a rose gold ring—the double band was inset with diamonds—which had a solitary diamond that would draw anyone’s attention.
“He’s got the look,” the sales lady said, her tone was almost smug. “Do you know her ring size?” she asked me.
“No, I don’t,” I murmured and tried to picture Naomi’s fingers.
“Well, we do hold rings with a small down payment, we also do layaway and payment plans. Anything to help you get the perfect ring,” she said. I looked up and then glanced at Amy, who shrugged, but her facial expression said, “get it.”
“How much is it?” I asked. The saleswoman grinned as if I’d made her day and I knew that the ring wasn’t going to be cheap.
#
It's a good thing I had a decent savings account, but after that trip to the mall, it had a seven thousand dollar hole in it. I didn’t see myself proposing for a while. I wanted to do it when the time was right and I was sure that Naomi wanted to spend her life with me and it wasn’t just the other way around.
I stared at the front of the psychology building and sighed deeply. I didn’t want to go inside and face the music. Dr. Prescben had sent me an e-mail bright and early, letting me know to go to his office first thing when I got to campus. On a whim, I got out of the car and grabbed my briefcase. Before I could convince myself to turn around, I locked the car and walked into the building. It was oddly quiet and empty, then again, when it was early there was never many people inside.
I stopped at my office to put my things down then walked down the hall and knocked on Prescben’s door. “Come in,” he called.
I pushed it open and stepped inside, surprised to find Naomi sitting across from him and another faculty member I didn’t recognize standing next to Prescben’s desk. “Good morning…” I said, sounding a bit lost.
“Good morning, Dr. James, I’m Dr. Lee, head of the faculty ethics committee,” he said and offered his hand. I shook it and then sat down next to Naomi. She was chewing on her bottom lip, obviously stressed. There was no way I could comfort her with the company we had. I was sure touching her would be the worst possible move.
“You okay?” I murmured. Naomi nodded.
“We just had a good talk with Naomi about your relationship,” Dr. Lee said. I nodded, wishing they’d just get to the point. “The language around relationships between instructors and students is plain. We don’t encourage or technically ‘allow’ it. But since you reported the relationship and it seems to be mutually serious, we’ll categorize it as a relationship that started before Naomi became your student,” Dr. Lee said. “It’s the easiest course of action,” he added.
I glanced at Prescben who nodded and looked at me as if saying, “take the deal.” I glanced at Naomi who pursed her lips and glanced at me, already nodding. “I think that’s good. It’s the best solution,” she said.
“Right, so if anyone on campus asks you two about your relationship, that’s what we recommend you say unless you’d like a big mess on your hands,” Dr. Lee said frankly.
“Got it,” Naomi said. She glanced at me and I nodded.
“Okay, thank you,” I said. Naomi stood up and I followed her lead. We got out of there quick after shaking their hands and thanking them again. We didn’t go to my office, instead we walked to the small courtyard area in the back of the building and sat on the lip of the huge fountain there. A nice mist fell on us and combatted the growing heat from the sun.
“That went…surprisingly well. I guess we were overestimating how bad it all could’ve been,” Naomi said.
“No, it would’ve been bad if anyone found out before we reported it,” I said. She nodded in agreement. “It’s weird that they gave us the option of essentially covering it up, though.”
“Well, Josh, I’d rather that then have the plain truth out there. Isn’t it better to say that we’ve been dating since before the semester started than saying we started a fling after the first week of school and then I got knocked up?” she asked. I glanced around, hoping no one was around to hear. There wasn’t.
“Guess you’re right,” I said and put my arm around her. She grinned, a sparkle in her eye, and then stole a quick kiss from me. My heart still pounded in my chest from that quick gesture that no one saw. But it was nice to do and not have the fear of being fired. “So what did you tell them, anyway?” I asked.
“I told them the truth. That we started seeing each other casually and that you…broke me down,” she said, her voice got quieter and she held my gaze. “I told them how I felt about you…that I love you,” she said.
Relief left me in a big exhale and I squeezed her hand in mine. “I really wish we were by a bed right now,” I said. Naomi giggled. “I love you too but you knew that already.”
“I’m glad that I’m having this baby with you…if it was anyone else…” she shook her head and then shrugged. “I don’t think I would want to have a baby,” she said.
“So after classes today, can I come over?” I asked.
Naomi chuckled. “Yes,” she said and stood up. “I have to run to the library, Jacob and I might be late,” she said. I quirked my brow at her and she laughed at my expression. “I told him that I was taken and he took it very well. We just have some cramming to do for one of our other classes,” she explained.
“Alright,” I said. Naomi slung her bag over her shoulder and left with a wave. My chest felt full and I got up to stretch because it really felt small, like I didn’t have enough space inside for all of the stuff I was feeling. I was excited to move forward with Naomi, happy that she loved me back, I felt beyond lucky and a host of other good things. I couldn’t wait for the day to be over so that we could be alone.
#
Naomi fumbled with the key to her door as I kissed her behind the ear and slipped my hand underneath her shirt to caress her lower belly.
“Having trouble?” I murmured.
“A little, there’s a frisky man attached to my back,” she said. She finally got the door open and I picked her up and kicked the door closed behind us. The cat was curled up on one of the bar chairs, eyeing us. I sat down on the couch and Naomi straddled my hips. We made out for what felt like a minute before I unclasped her bra and made to peel her shirt off.
A firm knock on the door made us both jump. “You’re expecting someone?” I asked.
“No…?” she said. Naomi clasped her bra and fixed her shirt before she got off of me. I adjusted my pants and stood up. She checked the peephole and then froze. “Oh my god,” she whispered, her tone was horrified.
“Who is it? Get away from the door,” I said, thinking there were burglars out there with guns or something.
“My parents. Both of them,” she whispered in a panic. She looked at me, wide eyed with panic, and I took a deep breath.
“You have to answer it,” I said. They knocked again and then Naomi’s phone started to ring. She took a shaky breath and then I realized her hands were trembling. I stepped closer to her and she opened the door.
“Nao,” a female voice said. I couldn’t see Naomi’s mom, but her dad was standing directly in my line of sight and he was squinting at me suspiciously. He looked at Naomi and greeted her in a low voice.
“We wanted to talk, to really talk,” her mom said.
“Um, that’s great but it’s like no one in this family knows how to call first,” Naomi said with an awkward chuckle. “I have
company,” she said. Her dad stepped inside, followed tentatively by her mom.
“I’m Roth,” he said, “and you are?” I stepped forward and shook his hand. Roth had a firm handshake and stared at me like a drill sergeant would.
“I’m Josh, it’s nice to finally meet you,” I said.
“I’m Julie, Naomi’s mom,” Julie said and I shook her hand as well.
“Hi, yeah, I can see the resemblance. Naomi and Jess look a lot like you,” I said. Julie tilted her head to the side, her expression curious. “I’m uh…” I glanced at Naomi, who’s eyes were darting back and forth between her parents. “I’m Naomi’s boyfriend,” I said.
“Boyfriend? I didn’t know you had a boyfriend Naomi, and he already met your sister?” Julie asked her.
“He met both Casey and Jess…uh we’re pretty serious,” Naomi said.
“Maybe we should all sit down?” Roth suggested. He took a deep breath and walked to the living room. We sat around the coffee table and kinda just stared at each other for a beat of silence.
“What did you guys want to talk about?” Naomi asked. Both of her parents glanced at me for a split second. “It’s okay, he knows about what the family’s been going through,” she said.
“That’s fine, but we wanted to speak to you in private, Nao,” Julie said. She reminded me of Jess, a lot.
“Dad, whatever it is, just say it please,” Naomi said.
He took a deep breath and then gestured with his hands as if shrugging. “Your mom and I are getting a divorce,” he said. Naomi physically reacted. She recoiled slightly and her spine straightened. I reached for her hand and laced my fingers with hers.
“Obviously, we already got the divorce but this is us telling you—face-to-face—that we’re split up. Your mom and I just don’t match anymore,” Roth said and there was regret in his tone. He glanced at Julie who smiled at him sadly.
“We were slipping away from each other even while you were in high school. Then, when you moved out our relationship got drastically worse—cold,” Julie said. “It was unhealthy for us to stay together and so your father moved out. We’ve been living apart and hiding it from all of you kids for a few years now,” she said.
