by C. Fonseca
Lili reached out and brushed Jess’s cheek with her fingers. “Can I get you a glass of water?”
The intimacy of it startled Jess. “I have water,” she said lamely, and pointed to the bedside table, feeling a bit flustered. “Thank you for your concern, but really, I’d rather just go back to bed. It’s after two. I think we should both get some sleep, don’t you?”
“Okay…if you’re sure.” Lili stood, tugged at the hem of her nightshirt, and backed away.
No, she wasn’t at all sure, but Lili didn’t need to know that. “Go back to sleep,” she said, looking towards the window. The tremor in Jess’s hand had eased, but she couldn’t hide the tremor in her voice.
“I’m just up the hall if you need me,” Lili said softly. She closed the door on her way out.
Jess crawled in between the sheets, rolled onto her back, and drew the covers up to her chin. It would have been safer to stay at a motel. The sympathy she read in Lili’s gaze left her exposed, scrutinised. And while she was here, trying to get through this unpleasant, emotional business of Ben’s estate, she certainly didn’t need pity.
She woke several hours later, irritable and sluggish. Recalling last night how Lili had attempted to come to her rescue, she wondered for a moment whether that had been a dream as well. It wasn’t easy to admit, even to herself, but she had been comforted by Lili’s presence in the early hours of the morning.
After an awful night, the best remedy for Jess’s low mood was exercise. And the best exercise was going for a ride. She stopped in the entrance hall, glanced at herself in the mirror, and rubbed her eyes. Surprisingly, there was little sign of the dark circles she’d expected. She picked up the garage keys from the sideboard. The sooner she got on her bicycle and headed into the countryside, the better.
Aruishi marched down the hallway, heading straight for Jess. “Hi, Jess. Are you going riding right now?” She jumped up and down on the spot.
Jess put the keys back on the dresser and crouched beside Aruishi, who gazed at her with a mix of innocence and determination. She couldn’t help but smile—albeit tiredly. “I am, Aruishi. How did you guess?”
“You’ve got your bike stuff on,” Aruishi said, pointing at Jess’s outfit. “The tight shorts that make your legs sexy.”
Jess put her hand out and steadied herself against the wall. “Oh. Who said that?”
“Mama told that to Alex.”
Obviously, one had to be careful what they said in the presence of a four-year-old. Apparently, her clothing sponsor’s streamlined, skinsuit, body-hugging jerseys, and leg-gripping bib shorts designs were appreciated not only by cyclists. She wondered what else Aruishi had overheard. “I’m just heading out for a ride. Do you have anything special planned for your day?”
Aruishi touched the wraparound sunglasses that hung from a cord around Jess’s neck. “Mama and I are spending the morning together. We’re cleaning Dora’s stall before I go to kinder,” she said, tugging at the cord.
Jess wrapped her hand around Aruishi’s sticky fingers. “That will make Dora happy. I hope you have fun at kindergarten.”
“I always do,” she said with a slight frown. “Um, Jess?”
“Yes, Aruishi?”
“We have show-and-tell. Not today, but some days we do.”
“Well, you’re the lucky one.” Where was this leading?
Aruishi sighed and looked down at her feet. “Last time, I took my shell bracelet that Ben brought me from Hawaii. It has beads like a turtle. It’s special.”
“Oh, is it a good-luck bracelet?” Jess asked.
Aruishi nodded. “Yes, that’s what I said. It’s special. Ben gave it to me.” She placed her hand on Jess’s shoulder. “Can I take you next time?”
“Where, to kindergarten?”
“Ah-ha. To show-and-tell.”
“You want to take me to show-and-tell. Is that allowed?” Jess slowly stood up, and her knee made a cracking sound.
“Ouch, what was that?”
“It’s nothing, just my funny knee. Why do you want to take me to show-and-tell?”
“I want to show you to the kids. Come with me, now. I want to talk to you about it. It’s serious.” Aruishi took her hand and tugged her down the hallway.
Jess allowed herself to be chaperoned to the living room, where Aruishi directed her to sit in a leather armchair in the far corner. She pulled up a tiny wooden chair and sat directly in front of her. The leather creaked as Jess shifted to get comfortable. She sat upright, giving Aruishi her complete attention.
“Mama told me that you’re my Ben’s sister,” Aruishi began. She was the epitome of concentration with cheeks slightly flushed and eyebrows furrowed.
Jess took a deep breath and let it out slowly. When had that happened? “That’s right, Aruishi. I am Ben’s sister.”
Aruishi pointed a finger at Jess. “You are my Auntie Jess.”
Lili must have decided the time was right to tell Aruishi. Jess wished Lili had given her the heads-up, allowing her time to prepare for the Auntie conversation, but still, she was thrilled.
Aruishi, meanwhile, seemed to have a perfect handle on the entire situation, passing out instructions to Jess like she was four going on twenty-four. Jess wanted to pull Aruishi into her arms and cover her earnest face with kisses.
“I am your Auntie Jess.” She blinked away the tears that threatened and raised her hand to touch the locket around Aruishi’s neck. “Did you know my mama’s name was Aruishi? This was her locket, and it has her picture inside.” Jess wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “You were named after her.”
“Don’t cry, Jess. Auntie Jess.” Aruishi placed her hands lightly on Jess’s chin and patted her face. “Ben told me I have beautiful brown eyes like his mummy. That’s why he gave it to me in an envelope. It was his mama’s, and now it’s mine.”
That did it. Jess couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around Aruishi and hugged her gently.
“Don’t be sad,” she said, tightening her arms around Jess’s neck. “Mama said it’s a happy discovery. I’m happy to discover you, Jess.”
Jess’s sunglasses dug into her clavicle, and she flipped them over her shoulder. She leaned back and glimpsed tears in Aruishi’s eyes. She pulled her back in for another hug and buried her face in her niece’s curly hair. “Me too, Aruishi. I’m so very happy to have discovered you.”
“Is everything all right here?” Lili asked.
Jess looked up, and wiped away her tears. How long had she been standing in the doorway?
Aruishi sat back onto her chair and spun around. “I told Jess she’s Ben’s sister. She’s got to come to show-and-tell with me.”
Lili placed her hands on her hips and grinned. “She doesn’t get her bossy nature from me.”
“Oh, really?” Jess raised an eyebrow.
“I’ve never had an auntie before. Auntie Jess is new and interesting,” Aruishi insisted.
“I think it’s up to Jess, don’t you?” Lili moved closer and placed her hands on Aruishi’s shoulders. “Looks like Jess is ready for a ride. She’s got her cycling clothes on.”
“Yes, the sexy shorts you told Alex about.”
Lili looked up at the ceiling as a deep blush surfaced on her cheeks. “Right, it’s time to clean Dora’s stall. Go and grab your old cardigan, and I’ll meet you at the front door.”
“Okay.” Aruishi turned back to Jess. “Show-and-tell. You must come with me.” She shrieked with laughter and ran out of the room.
Jess shook her head and stared down at her hands. “You told her.”
“Yes. Only this morning. I’m sorry, I didn’t have a chance to let you know.”
“No, I’m glad she knows.” Jess pushed herself out of the chair and adjusted the mesh bib on her outfit, suddenly self-conscious. “I’d
better get on my way.”
Lili shoved her hands in her pockets and scanned Jess slowly, from head to toe and back again. “How do you find our country roads? Totally different from those hedgerow lanes in England?”
Jess glanced at Lili and felt the smile bloom over her face. “The hills aren’t as challenging as what I’m used to, but I love the distinctive smell of the native trees here.” She pushed aside the memory of walking the eucalypt-lined roads around Wylie as a child with her mother. “And I love the breathtaking ocean views,” she added.
“But you’ve ridden all over the world.” Lili pursed her lips in thought.
“Hey, I’m enjoying exploring the Peninsula’s back roads.” She shrugged. “If it’s a good enough training ground for Cadel Evans, a Tour de France winner, it’s good enough for me.”
A pleased smile curled the corner of Lili’s mouth. “Enjoy your ride.”
“Have fun cleaning Dora’s stall.” Jess reached for her keys and turned for the door.
“Oh, Jess?” Lili called out.
“Yes?”
“Be careful exploring those back roads.”
“Thank you. I will.”
After loading and securing the bicycle on the rear mount of the Mini, Jess threw her bag onto the back seat of the car and checked the Map-My-Trail app on her phone for directions.
Twenty minutes later, Jess pulled into the foreshore carpark in Portarlington. She leaned against the car as an assortment of boats moored along the concrete pier gently rocked in the sea breeze, under a sky spattered with wispy clouds.
The route she’d chosen today was a twenty-six-kilometre round-trip, and according to the app, the undulating course would be a relatively tame ride.
Jess slipped into her clipless, recessed rubber-soled shoes and stashed the car keys in the saddlebag under her seat, which held a spare inner tube and a patch kit. She tucked an energy bar into the side pocket of her short-sleeved jersey and attached a water bottle on the bike frame. Finally, she gathered her hair back into a ponytail and fastened the helmet.
Fifteen kilometres into her ride, her heart pumped steadily and her leg muscles had loosened. The carbon fifty-six-centimetre frame was exceedingly comfortable. The bike-fit specialist in Melbourne had adjusted it to her exact requirements. Free and flying along the quiet coastal road, her lungs filled with air, the tension in her neck and back became a distant memory.
In competition cycling, she’d pushed her body to extreme limits. Her muscles screamed; her shoulders ached. Saddle sore and beyond exhausted, nothing in the world mattered more than her legs turning beneath her as she chased that white line to the finish.
Dismounting her bicycle at the top of a rise near Shortland’s Bluff, Jess reached for her water bottle, took a large gulp, and gazed out towards Black Lighthouse and the red-bricked walls of Queenscliff Fort. She recalled an excursion to Queenscliff with her mother and brother. She’d been about nine years old and remembered sitting on the old wooden jetty, teasing the seagulls with her paper-wrapped package of hot chips. Ben had been fussy about what he ate even in his early teens, preferring to prepare and cook his own food. But on this occasion, he’d relented and selected a serve of crispy sliced potato cakes and thick, golden battered fish. When their bellies were chock-full of the salty, crunchy treats, he’d used his pocket money to buy them all a chocolate-topped ice cream cone each.
As a doctor in a small country town, her mother had always been busy. The rare chance of a road trip to the coast and time together as a family was a precious memory.
Jess lost the joy of eating and sharing food after the death of her mother. But her earliest recollections of preparing and eating with her family were happy ones—like Lili’s.
Her mother’s best friend, Doctor Usha, was often present on these occasions. It had been particularly difficult as a five-year-old to wrap biscuit dough around a tiny sausage. But Usha had exercised amazing patience in helping Jess prepare piglets-in-the-blanket and other treats.
She’d loved the kitchen of their country cottage. Usha and her mother had told dazzling tales about India—stories of women who went from door to door, manually grinding fresh spices and chilli powder, and the sweet sellers balancing large silver platters on top of their heads, piled with golden balls of besan ladoo, crispy layers of soan papidi with pistachios, or deep-fried orange spirals soaked in cardamom syrup.
Where was Usha now? Jess realised she’d like to meet up with her before she headed back to England. She made a mental note to herself to check on Doctor Usha Joshi’s whereabouts.
A loud horn from the Queenscliff–Sorrento ferry announced its departure, and a veil of melancholy overcame Jess as she walked her bicycle down the hill. Here she was, back in Australia, after nearly twenty years’ absence. It was a very different place without her mother and brother. She wasn’t nine years old anymore.
Chapter 8
Lili was actually relieved her offer a few days ago to help Jess sort through Ben’s stuff had been rejected. She must have been crazy to think she’d have time to spare with the restaurant reopening in just three days. Thankfully, she had already updated the employee manuals, completed all building and equipment maintenance checklists for the safety inspector’s visit, and spent hours with Alex finalising Ailie’s new menu. When she thought about how exhausted she was, she reminded herself that Faodail Farm was surrounded by some of Victoria’s best vineyards, farmgate producers, and provedores. It was worth the intense amount of time and effort it took to nurture relationships with her suppliers, worth it to reflect on her menu, her connection with the land and sustainability, and her respect for the local region.
How to raise capital to pay out Jess was an additional burden, but she tried to focus on the present moment. Tonight’s staff party, in the courtyard garden at Ailie, was a chance for them all to simply enjoy each other’s company.
Josh, the apprentice chef, assisted by her father, was already turning out a delicious assortment of pizzas and dessert calzones for the hungry mob. Alex and her partner, Tash, dispensed pots of beer, cider, and juice from the mobile bar, housed in a 1975 Airstream caravan borrowed from friends who owned a small brewery.
“Good work,” Lili called out to Owen. Their front-of-house manager was responsible for the sparkling fairy lights adorning the trees, the decorated tables, and the background music wafting through outdoor speakers.
He grinned and saluted her with his glass.
Lili headed to the terrace to check on her mother. Helen had managed to corral the half-dozen ankle-biters—all under eight years old—in a secure section of the garden where they could safely eat, drink, and play while their parents enjoyed the party.
“Hey, Mum, how are you doing?” Lili lifted Sophie, the line cook Tim’s two-year-old, onto her hip.
“All under control.” Helen swiped a child’s sticky mouth with a damp towel. “Can’t go wrong with pizza. It’s a good turnout tonight. Everyone seems happy enough.” Helen looked around, surveying the crowd. “Has Jess showed yet?”
“Ah, not so far.” Lili grabbed a pudgy little hand as Sophie smeared the remnants of a strawberry custard calzone across her face, catching the collar of Lili’s raw-silk, jade-green shirt. “That is…icky.”
“Oh dear. Why don’t you get yourself inside and sponge that off? The berry syrup will stain the fabric.”
“Are you sure Jess said she would come?” Lili pulled the collar away from her neck.
“Yes, she did. She’s spent a lot of time at the shack these last couple of days. It must be difficult to sort through Ben’s personal belongings on her own.” Her mother shook her head. “I did offer to help, but she refused.”
“So did I,” Lili said. “I haven’t seen much of her lately. She’s been holed up at the shack and in her room. To be honest, Mum, I think she’s having a hard time.” Lili was glad to share her concern over Jes
s’s behaviour. “She keeps to herself and disappears for hours on her bike. I never see her eat at home, so I hope she’s getting nourishment from somewhere.”
“Maybe I should talk to her.”
“I don’t know. She’s such a loner,” Lili said. “Anyway, where is Aruishi?”
“Mama, look who I found.”
Lili spun around at the sound of Aruishi’s breathy voice. Aruishi had her hand firmly planted in Jess’s as she dragged her captive towards them.
“I’m so glad you came, Jess,” Helen said. “It is such a beautiful night to be outdoors.”
Lili stooped to plant a kiss on Aruishi’s head. Turning to Jess, she said, “Glad you could make it.”
“Mama, what’s that?” Aruishi pointed to the smudge on Lili’s shirt.
“A little accident. I’m about to go clean up.” She held out her hand. “Would you like to come with me?”
Aruishi shook her head and held on to Jess.
“Okay, then.” Lili looked at her mother.
Helen raised her eyebrows.
“I won’t be long. Ru, don’t wander off again. Please stay with your grandmother.”
“Okay.” Aruishi stared up at Jess and tightened her grip on her hand.
“I’ll keep an eye on her,” Jess said.
Lili took a deep breath, forced a smile, and turned on her heels. “Thank you.”
In the restroom, she sponged the tacky residue carefully from her collar and checked in the mirror. Hardly a trace. She patted down a stray wisp of hair and rechecked her appearance. Satisfied, she made her way outside.
She lingered in the shadows on the terrace to observe the party and soon spotted Jess and Aruishi, sitting together on a bench under the apricot tree. Lili sighed. Aruishi seemed entranced by Jess, who held a napkin around a slice of pizza and offered it to her. Whatever Jess said made Ru grin. The sight of the pair sitting so close took Lili’s breath away. They were so alike; they could pass for mother and daughter.
In the evening light, Jess’s hair, pulled back and clipped, shone a glossy, rich brown, almost black, highlighting her strong arched eyebrows and pronounced cheekbones. Her athletic body—lean, muscled, and physically powerful—was an exceptional sight out of her usual spandex and lycra, and she wore calf-high burgundy boots, black denim jeans, and a simple white merino crew.
