by C. Fonseca
Aruishi leaned back against Lili’s side and squinted up at her. “Should I, Mama? What about my sausage?”
“You can. But do you want to meet Cara?”
Aruishi nodded solemnly. “I think so. You must save me a sausage.”
“Okay, I will. Be a good girl and stay with Jess, please.”
“I promise to keep a hold of her.” Jess lifted their still-joined hands. “Helen, Lili, would you two like to come with us?
“We’ll go to the food marquee and see if we can help while we wait for you,” Lili said. “I’ll meet you back at the picnic area when you finish, and we’ll get that sausage for Ru.”
“Okay, she’s safe with me.”
“I know.” Lili blew a kiss to her daughter.
“Hey, I don’t have to be anywhere. I’ll come with you, Jess,” Haley called out, and trotted off to catch up with them.
“I thought she was starrr…ving.” Helen laughed and linked her arm through Lili’s. “That girl is seriously crushing on our celebrity cyclist.”
Lili didn’t bother to hide her scowl. First Alex, now her own mother. Did everyone have to rub her nose in it?
“What?” Helen asked. “Haven’t you noticed? Not that it matters. I don’t think Jess minds. She’s probably used to getting plenty of attention from pretty women.”
“Yes, Mother. I’m sure she is.” Lili kicked the ground with the toe of her boot and almost tripped. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Jess dropped a broken beach chair on the pile of rubbish just outside the door and mopped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. It was sweltering in Ben’s garage, even though both doors were propped wide open. Lili looked as hot and sweaty as Jess felt.
Lili’s playful side had emerged over the last few days. When she smiled, her entire face lit up. It had been hard to ignore the provocative and sexy way Lili had demonstrated her enjoyment of a single malt whiskey. The husky, slightly throaty timbre of her voice had made Jess a little giddy.
More and more, Jess enjoyed the time they spent together. At the bakery in Portarlington, Jess had talked more about herself that afternoon than she had with anyone. That was down to Lili’s impressive skill at drawing Jess out of her shell. How had she done that?
She had been so thankful when Lili offered to help sort through the mountain of surfboards, fishing equipment, kayaks, and other paraphernalia in Ben’s garage. After an hour of work, they had made some decent headway.
Jess let out a stifled breath. She tugged at the neckline of her jersey, pulled it over her head, and tossed it on a nearby workbench. “It’s a hothouse in here,” she said, turning around to face Lili, who was staring straight at her. God, she must look a sweaty mess.
Lili looked away quickly, but not before Jess realised what she saw in her eyes was interest. Lili snatched a bottle of water from her tote bag and passed it to her. “Here, this may help.”
“Perfect. Just what I need.” Jess opened the lid, drank most of the contents, and poured the remaining water into her open palm and splashed it over her face, neck, and arms.
“Jeez…” Lili hissed, bending down to pick up one end of a kayak. “Can you give me a hand with this? When you’re ready.”
Jess grabbed her jersey and wiped the droplets of water that trickled down the front of her tank top. “Sure, just a minute.” She pushed back the loose strands of wet hair that clung to her face and caught hold of the kayak. When she looked up at Lili, her face seemed flushed. Was it just the heat in the garage?
With Lili’s recent injury, Jess didn’t think she should lift anything heavy and risk inflaming her lower back. But Lili assured her she regularly lifted sacks of potatoes weighing twice as much as the Superlite eleven-kilogram kayak. It wasn’t heavy as much as awkward, but together they moved it out to the strip of lawn in front of the garage, alongside a sleek single-person canoe.
“Ben loved riding this thing,” Lili said. “Loved taking it out in the big surf. He was constantly hunting the perfect wave for aerial moves.”
“I wish I’d seen him do that.” Jess sighed. She stretched her arms above her head, enjoying the warm breeze on her exposed midriff. “I’d like to give it go, but I should try a surfboard first. Haley did offer to teach me, if I was interested.”
“She did, did she?” Lili marched into the garage, returning with two fibreglass paddles that she tossed onto the grass.
“She did. She’s full of energy, a lot of fun,” Jess said. Haley was keen to give her surf lessons, and definitely something else. The more Jess thought about it, though, the more she realised she wasn’t interested in something else with Haley.
Lili kicked one of the paddles, and it hit the canoe with a smack. “Yeah, she’s a regular live wire.”
Was it Jess’s imagination, or was Lili annoyed with her? “We can finish sorting the garage some other time if your back is still giving you trouble?”
Lili shook her head. “I’m good. Whatever you did the other night worked. Thank you.” Lili’s gaze travelled the length of Jess’s body, but when their gazes met, Lili’s eyes darkened and she looked away.
There was no denying it: there was a mutual interest. “Maybe you could teach me to use the surf kayak?” Jess tried. “When you have time.”
“Maybe.” Lili turned and walked back towards the garage. “That is, if you stick around long enough.”
What was going on? Lili had seemed to enjoy flirting with Jess the other night, and Jess didn’t want to quell her growing attraction to Lili, the attraction responsible right now for the spike in energy and the pleasant fluttering in her stomach. There was no sign of Lili’s lighter, flirty side, however; she was not smiling now.
Jess instead focused on the scenery. This really was a postcard-worthy stretch of coastline—uncrowded, with clean, pale-golden sandy beaches. She loved the sound of seagulls squawking and the crashing waves. Jess took a deep breath of the salt-laden air, closed her eyes, and soaked in the sunshine. Following Helen’s advice, she’d slapped on sunscreen; nevertheless, her skin had turned a healthy gold under the Australian sun.
She rolled her neck and shoulders and shook herself out of whatever trance she’d fallen under. Was Lili’s change of mood to do with Haley? Surely not. She appeared jealous, but why? Jess didn’t focus on the things she couldn’t have or get too attached to something transitory, no matter how attractive she might be. She’d thought Lili was the same.
Jess walked the short distance along the path and stepped out of the sunshine, into the garage. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit space. “Lili,” she called out.
Before she knew what was happening, Jess was in contact with the steel of the garage wall. Lili clenched Jess’s tank top with her fist and pressed their bodies together. When she let go, she took hold of Jess’s face in her hands. Jess trembled as Lili gently brushed her thumb over her forehead and along the line of her eyebrows.
She gripped Lili’s hips and drew her close. Lili’s lips parted, and Jess was overcome by the intensity of her stare.
“Kiss me,” Lili said.
Jess dipped her head and pressed her lips lightly to Lili’s.
Lili’s blue eyes stared intently, then closed. She kissed Jess—fiercely, impulsively, like she couldn’t help herself.
Jess was lost in the silkiness, the generosity, and the sweetness of Lili’s mouth. When her tongue swept across Jess’s lower lip, she opened her mouth with a low moan, hungry for more of the delicious sensations Lili’s kiss elicited. Time stopped, everything else stilled. For a moment, there was only Lili and Jess.
Light-headed and breathless, Jess broke their kiss to trace the shape of Lili’s ear with her tongue. She ran her fingers along Lili’s cheek, trailed them down the length of her neck, and rested her hand near Lili’s heart. She could feel the rhythmic thump, thump, thump under her hand, and hea
r her rapid breath. Jess closed her eyes momentarily. She’d imagined kissing Lili, and it was so much more than she’d expected. But what had driven Lili’s sudden change of mood?
Lili quivered. “Jess.” She moaned, resting her head in the crook of Jess’s neck. “What are you doing to me?”
She lifted Lili’s chin, in need of the heat of their connection again. She wanted her. She slid her hands under the hem of Lili’s shirt and caressed the curve of her breasts.
The colour drained from Lili’s face, and she pressed her hand firmly into the middle of Jess’s chest. “Sorry, I can’t.” She pushed her away and took a step back. “I can’t do this with you. I know I started it, but…”
Jess slumped back against the wall. “But…”
“I am sorry.” Lili shook her head. “I won’t risk…” She raised her hands as if to physically push temptation away. “No, I can’t. Not with you, Jess.” She looked up with a sad smile, turned around, and rushed out of the garage.
At the sound of the Subaru wheels spinning on the gravel driveway, Jess slid to the floor and put her head between her knees. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in. The magic of Lili’s lips claiming hers and the thrum of warm energy generated by their brief encounter spiralled through her entire body. She pushed her head back and banged it against the wall four times.
The moment they’d kissed, her destiny changed—she felt it with her whole being. But what did it mean that Lili had kissed her and then bolted? It was usually Jess who left after the fun. Didn’t get involved. Didn’t leave herself open for hurt. But Lili had run, leaving Jess bewildered, fighting the urge to run after her.
Chapter 17
For what seemed like the hundredth time today, Lili’s thoughts drifted to Jess, and their encounter in Ben’s garage. She’d acted rashly, without thinking about the consequences, which was completely out of character. To make things worse, she’d run off like a thief in a jewellery store.
The memory of Jess’s lips and her lush, warm mouth sent shivers through her. Shaking her head, she leaned over the garden bed. If she didn’t concentrate, she’d be harvesting the half-grown cauliflowers instead of protecting their developing buds.
But how did Jess feel? Had she given their kiss even a second thought? Lili doubted she was used to women grabbing her unexpectedly, but Jess must be used to women making advances. Should she have pounced on her like that without warning? Probably not.
On the plus side, however, she hadn’t kissed anyone so intensely for a long time—if ever—and the thought of kissing those lips again, of feeling that heat once more, was consuming her.
“Pass me another, please.” Helen waved an empty seedling tray in front of her. “I’ve prepared the ground.”
At the sound of her mother’s voice, Lili snapped back to the job at hand. “Okay, Mum.” She reached into the tiered garden trolley and picked up a tray of heirloom tomato seedlings. They would produce yellow-and-ruby-streaked fruit—perfect for the savoury tomato sorbet she planned for the summer menu.
Lili sat back and surveyed her mother. Dressed in jeans and a striped shirt, Helen wore her sleeves rolled up to her elbows. A weathered straw hat sat perched on her head, shading her pale skin. Her blonde hair had darkened slightly over the last few years, but only a few strands of grey were visible.
“I remember learning this trick from you. I must have been about five.” Lili spread green leaves over an eight-centimetre head of cauliflower before edging along on her knees to the next one.
“And I learned how to keep a cauli head white from my dear old mum.”
“I grew up with my hands in the dirt.” Lili wriggled her soil-covered gloves. “You and Grandma inspired my love of the earth, for growing and nurturing. Soon, I’ll show Ru.” For now, her four-year-old was content to dig with her pint-sized gardening tools, pick and eat fresh berries straight from the vine, and chase butterflies.
Lili had once aspired to be the chef at one of Sydney’s top restaurants. Now, she couldn’t imagine bringing up her daughter in a crowded city, away from Faodail Farm.
Helen peered at Lili from under her wide-brimmed hat. “You know, don’t you, that Jess’s generosity has made things a lot easier for you?”
She swallowed down the lump in her throat and kept her eyes low. “Mum,” she began, but words failed her. Silence was the only way to contain her guilt.
“I know Jess won’t talk about it,” Helen said. “She considers the whole matter done and dusted.” She removed her gloves and squeezed Lili’s forearm. “But as a family we have to acknowledge her magnanimity.”
Lili extracted her water bottle from the trolley, removed the lid, and took a grateful swallow. Her mother had opened the door for her to explain why she found it difficult to accept that Jess had simply removed the debt.
“Having the loan completely wiped totally stunned me. She tried to explain, but I still don’t fully understand why she did it. She doesn’t owe us anything.”
“No, she doesn’t. It was for Aruishi’s sake. You can tell from her patience and the warmth in her eyes how fond she is of her niece.”
“The trouble is I’ll be forever in her debt,” Lili said with an exasperated sigh. “It would have taken years to pay her back, but it would have been the right thing to do.”
Helen put her arm around Lili’s shoulder. “It’s really been taken out of your hands, darling. Is it that Jess seemed oblivious to the enormity of her gift—is that what you find so hard to accept?”
“You and Dad have been through tough times, especially when the large milk processor tried to force you to scale up. You found a way to become independent and stayed afloat. I can too. You raised me to be self-sufficient.”
“Yes, and we are proud of what you’ve already achieved. Ailie is a thriving business.” She hugged her close. “But don’t let pride get in your way. Gratitude is just as important.”
“I am really grateful, but it’s hard to let go of old habits.”
“Sometimes, we must accept things happen for a reason and just be thankful.” Helen gave her a gentle shove. “You have a few things to think about.”
Lili did have a lot of things to think about. Due to her lack of self-control, she’d been an idiot, pounced on Jess, kissed her—then run off like an adolescent. And she’d left Jess on her own to sort out the garage. Of course, her mother didn’t need to know any of this. “I do.”
“I’d better get a move on. I want to finish planting the seedlings before I pick up the little person from kindergarten,” Helen said. “That will give you time to pull up some beetroot and sow the mustard greens.”
“You’re the best, Mum. I’ll string new trellis lines for the peas; they’ve taken off with last week’s rain. The green pea shot starters are getting positive feedback from our guests.”
“There’s nothing quite like the taste of fresh peas, straight from the vine,” Helen said. “You’ll have a busy afternoon, then.”
The busier the better. Less time for thoughts of Jess. “We’ve already got a lot done, thanks to your help.” Lili stacked the empty seedling trays and wiped her damp forehead with her shirt sleeve. “Phew, it’s hot. After I finish off here, I’ll tackle the mountain of paperwork on my desk.” She lifted her peaked hat and ruffled her hair. “I have that information session with our apprentices at the college tonight. Is Ru’s sleepover still okay?”
“Oh yes. We’ve got a plan,” Helen replied. “She’s requested bolognaise and zoodles for dinner. Then we have a date with Dory.”
“Again?” Lili laughed. “Are you sure?”
“We’ll be fine. Ru will be asleep within half an hour of the film starting.”
Lili pulled off her gloves, brushed the crisp green leaves with her fingertips, and let her hands sift through the rich, dark soil around the beetroot bulb. She lifted it out of the ground and inhaled the woodsy, almost swe
et, damp bouquet. She relished earthy flavours. Today, earthly delights, powerful and seductive, were intrinsically linked to Jessica Harris. The hollow at the base of her neck, where Lili’s lips had lingered and she’d breathed in vanilla and orange blossom. She leaned back, closed her eyes, and lifted her face to the sun. Distraction was proving futile.
It was fortuitous that Jess was accompanying Usha on a two-night trip to Wylie, the country town in Western Victoria where she was born. Lili didn’t want to face her right now. It was her fault that she couldn’t hold back and had thrown herself at Jess, creating an awkward, embarrassing situation.
Jess was irresistible and challenging. Lili’s gut instinct told her trying to suppress her attraction would be like drizzling a croquembouche with caramel on a humid day and crossing your fingers it would hold together. Impossible. When Jess left, life would have to return to normal. Forbidden fruit was always the sweetest, but once tasted, almost impossible to forget.
Sheltered under the sprawling branches of a giant fig tree, Jess sat on an old wooden bench close to the headstone marking her mother’s grave. She’d not been there since the funeral, when they’d lowered her mother’s casket into the ground. She recalled Usha’s wiry arm around her shoulder. Ben had sobbed, but that day she couldn’t cry. Tears rolled down her cheeks now, and she wiped them away with her sleeve. “Aruishi has your eyes, Mum,” Jess said. “When Ben died, I felt so alone. Now, I have a niece. I gave her a bicycle. You should see her take off down the farm road.” Jess laughed. “She’s feisty and playful and so naughty; she reminds me of Ben in that way. She’s beautiful and stubborn like her mother.”
What would her mother think of Lili? She sighed. “I like being around them both, Mum. Lili is kind-hearted and generous. I enjoy her company very much.”
Jess stood up and walked to the grave. “My body is healing, and I’m getting stronger every day. I feel good about being back in Australia, and I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.” She bent forward, rearranged the small posy of roses displayed in a pottery jar, and pressed two fingers to her lips before placing them over her mother’s name etched into the stone. “I’m going to pick up Usha at the hospital; she’s the guest speaker at the reunion lunch. You know she hates to be kept waiting.”
