by C. Fonseca
Alex took the bottle out of his hand. “Yeah, not driving. Tash needed the car tonight.” She peered at the label. “It’s a 2015 Terindah Estate Shiraz. Should I pour one for you, Lili?”
Stifling a yawn, Lili shook her head. “Not tonight. Just one sip would put me to sleep.” She stood and picked up her laptop. “I’ll take this to the office. You still okay to lock up, Owen?”
“Yes, no problem,” he said, and picked up the iPad he’d carried in from the bar. “Lili, you may want to look at this.” His voice was calm, but insistent. “I was doing my usual check on social media to see if we featured on any of the sites. These pictures are on Twitter. Take a look.” He pushed the device across the bench and turned it around to face her.
Lili narrowed her eyes. “That’s Jess and Haley here tonight. And that woman next to Jess, what is her name?” She glanced up at Owen.
“Tara Green.”
“And she is?”
“Founder of SwitchedOn Women’s Racing, an Australian-based racing team,” he said. “Simon mentioned it when he made the booking. The other two women are also part of the team.”
Lili’s eyes widened as she read out loud the hashtags under the picture, “#jessicaharris, #switchedonWR, #girlsonbikes.”
Alex leaned over Lili’s shoulder and read, “Is Aussie women’s racing poaching Brit champion?” She tapped Lili’s arm. “Did Jess tell you what the dinner was about?”
“Nope. She didn’t really know,” Lili answered. “Who is posting this stuff?”
“Let’s check the Twitter handle on that,” Alex said.
“Handle?”
“The username, in front of the line,” Owen explained.
“You mean this? Dot at cycleongirl.” She pointed to the symbol and name preceding the line. “Why is there a full stop in front of the at symbol?”
“It’s a Twitter thing. A full stop in front allows all followers to see the post.” Owen shrugged his shoulders. “Could be posted by a fan of Jess’s. Scroll down a bit, Lili, but be prepared, because you’re not going to like what you see. Whoever cycleongirl is, she’s reposted Instagram photos and retweeted from other sources to her post.”
Lili pressed on the first link. The image that appeared was of Aruishi, Jess, and herself in Queenscliff. “How the hell did someone get this photo? No one was around that evening at the wharf.”
“Tash and I didn’t take any photos,” Alex said. “Someone must be following Jess.”
The caption made Lili wince. Ready-made family. “How do they know Ru is her niece? It’s just bad. People shouldn’t post pictures of children without permission.” She opened the second link and zeroed in on the picture of herself and Jess in Federation Square. “There were scores of people in the square. Anyone could have snapped this. But why?” She put the iPad down on the bench in disgust.
Owen handed Lili a glass of wine. She accepted it gladly and took a large mouthful.
“Maybe this is to be expected. There is heaps of stuff about Jess out there in the media,” Alex said. “Remember, you told me about it before she even got here.”
“On her, yes.” Lili downed the rest of her wine in one gulp. “But not me, and definitely not Ru. Jess should have warned me.”
“Lili, this is not Jess’s fault,” Owen said. “She probably hasn’t seen these yet. Anyone could have posted those photos. Cycleongirl is probably taking advantage of Jess’s notability to attract more followers.”
“But the photo taken here, at Ailie, had to be posted by one of the guests.” Lili picked up the device again and peered at the screen.
Alex lifted the iPad out of Lili’s hand. “Yes, and counting Simon’s table, there were forty-four guests tonight. Everyone uses their phones to take pictures of the food, themselves, each other, and the restaurant to post stuff on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.”
“Alex is right, Lili,” Owen said. “And people like, share, and repost constantly. Must be hell for anyone trying to keep a low profile.”
Owen and Alex were spot-on about the lack of respect of people’s privacy. Jess had travelled across the world to settle her brother’s estate. Wasn’t she allowed to have a private life of any sort? But the meeting with the Australian team indicated there was more going on with Jess. Things she hadn’t yet shared with Lili. What was she planning?
Owen looked at his watch and adjusted his tie and jacket. “I’d best go and see if table two are ready to settle up.”
Lili nodded. “Thanks, Owen.”
“Oh shit,” Alex said, making a hissing sound through her teeth.
“What now?”
Alex clutched the iPad to her chest with both hands.
“Just show me.”
“It’s probably not what it looks like. You know what people are like at a nightclub. Moody music, dim lights, and all that.”
“Alex. What is it?” Lili slapped her palm, down on the bench. “Show me.”
She passed the device to Lili. “Okay, if you insist.”
Lili looked at the screen and bit her lower lip. Haley and Jess on the dance floor. Kissing. It looked intense. Their bodies were pressed together. Haley held Jess around her waist, and Jess had her hand on her shoulder. It wasn’t a chaste kiss.
She sat down heavily on the kitchen stool. “That was a while ago. She was a free agent.” Lili gave a resigned moan. “Like you said, things happen in clubs.” She had seen them kissing in the car. But that was then.
“Yeah, things do happen in clubs,” Alex said. She put her arm around Lili’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”
They both turned as the swing doors opened.
“Hi, Alex, hi, Lili,” Jess said in a happy sing-song voice, her face lit up with a wide grin.
“Hello, Jess.” Alex propped herself against the bench.
Jess approached them with a spring in her step. Her eyes danced, bright, almost eager. “Thank you both. I had a great evening. The food was delicious. I’ll definitely be back again.” She sidled over to stand closer to Lili. The ivory rib-knit top she wore was draped about her neck. It flowed down over her shoulders, sat snug around her breasts, and hung loose over her hips. Her hands were tucked into the side pockets of her black pleated trousers. Jess looked dazzling even under the kitchen’s LED downlights, and Lili was at a loss for words.
This morning, Jess had taken off for a bike ride even before Lili was out of bed and probably cycled for sixty or seventy kilometres. Yet, here, she stood bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Where did she get her energy?
“Have the others left?” Alex asked.
“Most of them. Haley and Simon are still here.”
Lili flinched. For a moment, she’d been so hypnotised by Jess, she’d forgotten about the photos.
“Is it okay to catch a ride back to your place? Haley did offer, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather go home with you.”
An ache formed in the back of Lili’s throat. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth as Jess’s warm fingers closed around her forearm.
“We’re all done, aren’t we, Lili?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. “I have to wait for Mei, anyway. Why don’t you two take off?” She grabbed the empty wine bottle and glasses from the bench. While heading for the dining room, she turned back to face them. “Lili, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Her gaze darted to Jess. “Um, have a good night, you two.” The doors swung closed.
Jess seemed so happy, oblivious to the social media circus she’d created. It would be a shame to spoil her mood. Lili knew she could be short-tempered when overtired, and she was running on empty. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation.
“Hey, Lili?” Jess’s voice interrupted her thoughts. Her hand brushed along the bare skin of Lili’s forearm.
“Yes?” Lili shivered and met Jess’s dark, penetrating gaze.
“How are yo
u holding up? You’ve worked all day, after very little sleep.”
Lili blinked; she couldn’t ignore the genuine concern in Jess’s eyes. “Yes, very little sleep,” she repeated, smiling wearily.
“Is Aruishi staying over with your parents tonight?” Jess asked. “Will you be able to sleep in tomorrow morning?”
“Yes, she’s at Mum and Dad’s all night. I knew it would be a late finish.” Even though she was exhausted, she’d hoped to make the most of a night alone with Jess. Not a total repeat of last night—even though, up to half an hour ago, she could have been persuaded. She’d wanted to fall asleep with her arms around Jess, or Jess’s body spooned against hers. Now, she wasn’t sure. It seemed like their bubble of uncomplicated joy had already burst.
She stood and collected her laptop from the bench. “I have to get my keys. Why don’t you say goodnight to the others, and I’ll meet you at the car?”
“Okay. I’ll see you out the back.”
Lili walked towards her office but stopped when Jess called her name. She turned, surprised to find Jess at her side. “Yes?”
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” Jess asked.
She glanced down where Jess’s hand rested on her hip. Lili stared up at her. “Yes. It’s been a really long day.”
Jess raised her hand and lightly stroked her thumb across Lili’s cheek. She leaned in and kissed her. It was a soft caress. Just a brushing of Jess’s lips against hers.
“I’ll be ready in five minutes,” Lili said, and stepped back out of reach. She turned and walked into her office.
After closing the door behind her, she placed the laptop into her bag and sank into the office chair. The photo in the nightclub was disturbing, but Jess wasn’t sleeping with Haley, so she’d have to get over it. The glimpses she’d had of Simon’s party gave Lili the impression of an animated group hatching a plan. She had noticed Jess and Tara Green engaged in an intense conversation. Was there any truth in the caption? Was something brewing between Jess and the Australian team? It was frustrating not having a clue what Jess’s plans were. Lili had no idea when she intended to return to London.
They were growing closer, but Lili was prepared for the fact that Jess would leave eventually. If Jess was thinking of changing her plans, why didn’t she share them with Lili?
It was less than a ten-minute drive back to Lili’s house, but as each minute passed with no communication, Jess became more anxious. When they reached the house, the awkward silence still hung between them, broken only by the faint roar of the sea in the distance. At the top of the landing the sensor lights illuminated the deck, and Lili fumbled with the key before Jess heard it slide into the lock. Lili swung the door open, not bothering to switch on the entrance hall light, and strode down the hallway. Jess pushed the door closed and peered after Lili’s silhouette, lit by moonlight filtering through the large window at the end of the hall. Lili stopped, and Jess clicked on the light just as she turned around to face her. She looked like she wanted to run, or cry—or both.
“Lili, why haven’t you spoken to me? You didn’t say a word in the car.”
Lili held up her hand. “I’m just overtired. I need to have a shower and go to bed.”
“Rubbish. There is something wrong. Do you regret sleeping with me? Are you having second thoughts?” She knew her voice was unnecessarily raised, but she couldn’t help it.
“No. No, I don’t.” Lili’s voice cracked, and she looked down at her feet. “Jess, there are pictures all over social media. Of you and Haley. Of us. And Aruishi.” She looked at Jess with a frown, as though accusing her of something.
Jess pressed her eyes shut for a moment. Damn. Lili had seen the bloody pictures. She should have told her.
Lili pulled her phone out of her pocket, tapped on the screen, strode over to Jess, and held it under her nose. “Look at this. You haven’t bothered to share with me, but what you’re up to is all over Twitter and Instagram. According to this site, you are romantically linked with two women, having a whale of a time down under.” Lili lifted the phone out of Jess’s reach and jabbed her finger at the screen. “This is what it says, and I quote, ‘Not only does the alluring athlete like to flex her muscles with an attractive young Aussie cyclist, she has found time to throw herself onto a hot grill with Bellarine Peninsula chef.’ And it goes on.”
Lili narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to one side. “I should have known. You’re twenty-nine years old, for crying out loud. You’ll go back to England, go back to your friends and social whirl, and think, well, that was a bit of fun, what’s next?”
Jess’s heart pounded in her chest. “What are you talking about? You know me, Lili. Does that really sound like me? You know there’s nothing going on with Haley. I don’t think you’re being very fair. I can’t control what’s posted on those sites.” Jess shoved her hands in her pockets. “People make up all kinds of things.”
“You were definitely kissing Haley.” Lili waved the phone in front of Jess. “That wasn’t made up, was it? And in the car when you got home.”
Well, Lili had seen them kiss in the car. Damn. There was no point denying it. “That was before anything happened between you and me,” she said. “We were in a nightclub and—”
“Yes, I know. Things happen in nightclubs.”
Jess took a step closer, and Lili cut her off with a wave of her hand. “Anyway, what’s going on with the Australian cycling team? Aren’t you still rehabilitating? As far as I know, you’re based in London. You haven’t bothered to share your new plans with me.”
“I don’t have any new plans yet. But even if I did, why would a plan to stay here closer to you and Aruishi be a bad thing? Don’t you think you’re being unreasonable under the circumstances? I wasn’t aware of Simon’s agenda. It was a friendly get-together with fellow racers. I didn’t know they would approach me. As you pointed out, I’m not in top form. I’m still recovering, and I’ve got to look at all my options.”
Lili expelled a long breath, turned away, and walked over to the window at the end of the hall. She slumped against the frame and pressed her forehead to the glass.
“What do you want from me?” Jess asked quietly, wishing Lili would look at her. “We slept together. That’s what we both wanted. You think it’s okay to sleep with me and keep it secret from your family.” She lifted her chin. “I respected your wishes and did what you asked. I haven’t told anyone about us.”
Lili turned around to face her but still wouldn’t make eye contact.
“So, let’s leave it at that, if that’s what you want,” Jess said, shrugging. “We slept together.”
Lili crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I didn’t want to tell anyone we’re sleeping together because you don’t even know how long you’ll be here.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “Dani kept things from me, and I didn’t pick up the signs until it was too late.
“I am not Dani. I’m sorry she did that to you.” Jess rubbed her hands over her thighs. “I honestly didn’t know Tara and the cycling team were going to approach me tonight. I didn’t know what to expect when I came back here to settle Ben’s estate. I thought I’d be out of here within two weeks.” She looked towards Aruishi’s bedroom. “I didn’t know I had a niece. I didn’t know I’d meet you.”
“That’s just the problem. You don’t know anything,” Lili said with a deep sigh. “This is too hard for me.”
“Too hard for you? So, what does this thing between us mean?” Jess swallowed the lump in her throat as Lili finally met her gaze. “Does it mean enough to you to tell your parents about us? Does it mean enough to tell Aruishi?”
Lili rested her head in her hand. Finally, she looked up again. “I think it’s best for all of us if we stop this now.” Lili looked totally crestfallen, but her words were clear. Her eyes softened. “You have decisions to make. They are your decisions to make. You’ve ha
d a tough time, but you’re on the mend. The way things are going, you’ll soon be back in top form. Racing again,” she said. “Cycling is your life. I’ve been selfish wanting to keep you here. It’s been wonderful for Ru, and for me. But you have a life I can’t compete with.”
Jess blinked back her tears. She wanted to pull Lili close and comfort her. She’d looked forward to having the house to themselves and making love to Lili—slowly, unhurriedly, and holding her while she slept.
“I’m going to bed before I fall over.” Lili pushed herself away from the window. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She walked towards her bedroom, then stopped and turned back to Jess—her expression unreadable. She hesitated at the door for a moment, pushed it open, lowered her head, and was gone.
Jess stared out into the night. A sliver of moon was shrouded in thick cloud. Lili was right; she had urgent decisions to make. She placed her forehead against the window glass where, minutes ago, Lili’s face had rested. The window was icy cold. A shiver ran down her spine.
Cycling competitively had taught Jess some important lessons that could be applied to life in general, ones that had helped her get past the harsh clutches of uncertainty she’d experienced throughout her youth, paralysed by self-doubt and the fear of her father’s disapproval. Cycling had taught her that sometimes in the peloton you relaxed and coasted along in the slipstream, while at other times you gave it all you had and jockeyed for front position.
If she wanted Lili and Aruishi in her future, she had to give it her all to convince Lili she was worth the risk.
Chapter 27
Lili lay on the couch with her head propped in her hand. The two pain killers she’d swallowed earlier had barely taken the edge off the persistent drumming in her skull. She lifted her head as she heard the front door open, and Aruishi’s high-pitched squeal was accompanied by the fast thudding of her footsteps as she ran along the wooden floorboards into the living room. Lili grabbed the end of her T-shirt and wiped her eyes, then quickly folded Jess’s note and tucked it into the side pocket of her grey sweatpants. The note explained simply that Jess would stay overnight at Usha’s, as she had an early ultrasound appointment tomorrow with her sports physician in Drysdale. The friendly tone of the note made her feel worse about the way she’d treated Jess last night. She pushed herself up and swung her bare feet over the side of the couch onto the floor.
