by Nia Arthurs
Until I gave it some more thought and realized it was shakier than a child on stilts.
I had about five hundred stowed away in the bank. Between paying for food, gasoline, and a place to stay, that money wouldn’t last. I needed a job. Something that would return more than the fifty plus tips I made when I played in clubs. But how could I get a job when I was in school?
Speaking of school, how would I pay for that? It wasn’t like my dad would jump in and cover my tuition from the good in his heart. Even if he did, I wouldn’t accept the money. He kicked me out and I was glad to go.
My parents could rot in their drama.
It was a new day. I had nothing tying me down, especially not love.
Maybe breaking up with Monique was a good thing. There was enough to worry about right now without spending money and time on dates. Mom believed everything happened for a reason and I was starting to agree with her. Monique left me in the dust just in time.
“James!” A hand rapped against the window. I shot up and tossed a panicked look over my shoulder. The pillow I’d slept on last night as well as my instruments, my computer and my mixer board were all on the backseat. It wouldn’t take much for someone to puzzle through the meaning of that.
I glanced up and saw Baz’s dark face on the other side of the glass. One hand shaded his eyes while the other prepared to knock on the window again. I grabbed the handle and pushed, almost slamming into him.
He jumped out of the way. “Dude, what were you doing in there?”
“Nothing.”
Baz leaned over. “Are you smoking pot?”
“No.”
He arched an eyebrow in suspicion.
“What’s up?” I folded my arms over my chest and inched sideways so my back was partially hiding the window.
“That’s what I wanted to ask. Harley’s looking for you. He seemed pissed. Did something go down this weekend?”
“No.” I ducked to the left when Baz’s gaze slid there. “Is that why you came to look for me?”
“Nah. I left my bass in the trunk and I wanted to put in a little extra practice.”
“Cool.”
Baz tilted his head. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure you’re not on drugs?”
“No.” I held my hands up. “I’m clean.”
“Cool,” Baz said again. He nodded and walked away. I let out a breath and moved from the door when Baz spun around and yelled, “Aha!”
I froze.
His eyes fixed on the window with a perfect view of my backseat. Confusion crinkled his thick brows. “Why do you have all your guitars in the car?” His gaze slammed into me. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Cut the crap, man. How long have we been friends? Do you think I’ll buy that?”
I sighed and decided to confess. “My dad kicked me out of the house last night.”
Baz just stood there, looking at me. Then he asked, “And you don’t think he’ll let you back in?”
“Even if he did, I’m done relying on my parents.”
“So… what’s the plan?”
I shrugged and stared at my sneakers. “I don’t have one.”
Baz nodded. “What about money?”
“I’ve got some saved up, but it’s probably not enough to handle everything.”
“Do you at least have somewhere to stay the night?”
“No.”
“Come to my place.”
“It’s fine.”
“I’m not asking. It’s just for one night. My parents love you anyway. You don’t have to explain anything. Alright?”
I was grateful but, instead of making things too sappy, I just nodded. “Whatever, man.”
Baz pat me on the back. “I was heading home for lunch. My sisters came back from college and Mom is making a feast. Can I get a ride?”
“What about your bass and practice?”
He didn’t even flick an eyelash. “What bass?”
I knew the ride was a ruse so he could feed me lunch, but I pretended to be clueless and took Baz home. As predicted, he coaxed me inside and I spent the afternoon stuffing my face with his mother’s first-class African cuisine and laughing at his family’s antics.
We returned to school minutes before our class.
Baz stopped me in the hallway. “Could I get a ride after the rally?”
“Don’t you have your own car?”
“My sister’s picking it up this afternoon so she can drive around.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Really?”
The bell rang.
Baz lifted his chin in goodbye and took off. I wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth or if he was trying to trick me into sleeping over.
Either way, it looked like I was sticking around for the rally.
After class, I headed to the gym. The hallway was packed with students. I felt someone brush against me, but just stroked it up to the crowd. Then I felt a hand on mine and glanced up. A girl with ivory skin, deep brown eyes and straight red hair smiled at me. She wore the red and white cheerleading uniform.
I’d met her once or twice. She used to hang around Marissa, but her name escaped me.
“Sorry,” she said with a sultry smile. “I couldn’t resist.”
I moved my hand away and clutched my backpack so it was out of her reach. “Just don’t let it happen again.”
She fluttered her eyelashes and matched paces with me as I strode toward the bleachers. “Are you playing today?”
“No.”
“Why? Are you sick?”
“No.” I stopped and stared at her, annoyed with her chattiness. “Do you need something?”
“Just making conversation.” She grinned and revealed horse-sized teeth. “Are you coming to the party tonight?”
“Uh…”
Someone entered the gym.
Monique.
She was laughing with her friends, her head tipped back and her neck arched toward the light. Her hair was smoothed into a bun, revealing every inch of her rick black skin. I let my eyes linger on her, from her forehead, to her cheekbones to her ears.
Something heavy landed on my chest. Made it hard to breathe. My fingers twitched. I dug them deeper into my backpack straps and struggled to remain upright when my body seemed to want to break in half.
“James?” Red Head bounced into view.
“Yeah,” I said. “Yes. I’ll be there.”
“You’ll come?” She squealed.
I realized what I’d said, but I didn’t take it back. It had been a while since I’d gone to a party. I’d shied away from the wild side since meeting Monique, but there was no Monique to keep me on the straight and narrow anymore.
I smiled at Red Head. “Maybe I’ll see you there.”
She blushed, her entire face turning redder than her roots. “Okay, great.”
As soon as she walked away, I searched the gym for Monique, but she was nowhere to be found. An instrument strummed. I glanced up and found Harley fiddling with his electric guitar.
Looked like the guys were starting.
The music was good. Better than good, actually, but I wasn’t in the mood for a concert. I sent Baz a text telling him to meet me in the parking lot when he was through.
I heard footsteps following me and whirled around.
The Red Head from earlier stood in the empty hallway, grinning at me. She had that crazed gleam in her eye, the one that said she was done playing shy and was banking on her boldness to get my attention.
My blood usually curled at the sight of that gleam, but I let her draw closer to me because I really didn’t care anymore and I could use a distraction.
“I realized I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier.” She stuck out a skinny arm. “I’m Cass.”
I smoothly took her hand. “Hey, Cass. I’m James.”
“I know.” She giggled.
“Have we met?”
“The entire school knows who y
ou are.” She dug her sneakers into the tiles. “Honestly, I saw you on orientation day, but I was too shy to talk to you. And then school started and you got with Marissa.”
“Marissa?”
“Yeah. She kind of blocked the cheerleading team from even looking at you.”
I laughed. Why did I find that so easy to believe?
Her brown eyes glittered as she stared at me. Red Head had no defenses up, even if she did, it would be easy to scale them. I could do whatever I wanted to this girl and she would still worship me afterward.
How boring.
The gym door opened and closed.
I glanced up and fell deep into Monique’s brown eyes.
My chest started aching again.
I looked away and stepped closer to Red Head. “Well, Marissa’s not here anymore.”
“Yeah.” Her eyelashes fluttered. “I guess not.”
“Ehem. James, can I talk to you?”
I ignored Monique, pretending every nerve in my body wasn’t straining toward her. “I’m busy.”
Red Head blushed.
“It’s about the fire.”
I stiffened and glanced over my shoulder.
Monique arched an eyebrow. “Think you can free up your schedule?”
I stepped away from Red Head. “You should head inside.”
“But—”
I nudged her with my arm. “Go or you might miss your routine.”
She softened. “Okay. See you tonight.”
I gave her a charming smile and then looked at Monique. “How can I help you?”
She walked closer and with each step, my heart trembled. It was over. So why did she still have so much control over me?
I hardened my jaw and stared at a point just above her head.
Get yourself together, James.
“Alex told me about your dad and the cheque.”
My gaze shot to her. “What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me? The night of the fire, I saw him take you aside, but I didn’t know...” She stepped closer and lowered her voice. “Do you think your dad was responsible for the fire too?”
I struggled to swallow past the lump in my throat. Monique held me in her stare. I was paralyzed, completely at her mercy.
And she had no idea.
I couldn’t tip her off to her power. Couldn’t let her hurt me the way she did yesterday.
“It’s none of your business.” I turned around.
She grabbed my arm. “James!”
I shook her off. “Let go.”
“James!”
I ignored her cry and slammed through the exits. The thought of leaving Baz behind and driving off was tempting, but I stayed put until he returned. His dark skin was flush with sweat and he was all smiles—probably riding the musical high I knew only too well. But he took one look at my face and kept quiet all the way to his house.
I dropped him off and stayed in the car.
Baz dipped his head down to stare at me through the open door. “What’s up? Aren’t you coming inside?”
“No.”
He nodded and then climbed back into the car.
“What are you doing?”
“You look like the old James tonight.” He stared straight ahead.
“Get out.”
“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but whatever stupid plan you have in your head, you’ll either do it with me there or not at all.”
“I’m not doing anything stupid. I swear. It’s just a party.”
“A party?” Baz checked his watch. “How long will you stay?”
I looked at his house with the cozy orange lights blaring from the windows. “I know your parents will flip if you sneak out. You should stay.”
Baz hesitated.
“I’ll be fine.”
He climbed out and grabbed his bass guitar. Coming around to my side of the window, he cleared his throat. “Text me if you start to have any weird thoughts. I’ll talk you out of it.”
I laughed. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”
Baz dipped his head and walked inside.
I backed out of the driveway and drove hard. I’d promised Baz I wouldn’t do anything stupid tonight, but… I wasn’t so sure about that.
Sometimes, promises were meant to be broken.
24
WHISPERS IN NEON
Monique
“I’M NOT in the mood to go to a party, Ang,” I moaned. “There are so many things I’d rather do on a Friday night.”
“Like what? Be miserable?”
“Yes!”
Angie screwed her brown lips. “Get up, Monique. We are going to that party and we will have fun whether you want to or not.”
“No.” I flopped into bed and pulled the blankets up.
A moment later, the quilt was wrenched from my body. Angie loomed over me, her nostrils flaring. “Don’t make me use my secret weapon.”
“What secret weapon?”
Angie stepped away and whipped her head so her braids rattled in front of her high cheekbones. “I really didn’t want to do this.” She sucked in a deep breath and then yelled, “Harley! Get in here!”
The door burst open and Harley stumbled through. His eyes darted to me. “What happened? I heard shouting.”
“Harley,” Angie paced my small bedroom like a lawyer before a judge, “have you ever been invited to a party?”
Harley scoffed. “Of course.”
“I’m not talking about in fifth grade when you went to some princess-themed pony party. Have you been invited since you started high school?”
Harley winced. “Uh, no.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how badly do you want to attend this party?”
“What’s with the questions?”
“Give me a number.”
Harley shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Angie looked at me. “Can’t you see how badly he wants this? Would you deny this poor, melanin-deficient boy a chance to live his dream? A chance to party with the populars?”
I tilted my head. “Um…”
“Did you just call me melanin-deficient?”
“That’s what you are.”
“I find that offensive.”
“Then take it up with science—”
“Okay!” I bolted out of bed. Tossing off my blankets, I stood. “Harley, do you really want to go?”
He stared thoughtfully at the wall. “I know it’s not our crowd, but I want to see what it’s like to be on the other side.”
Angie pulled her lips in and stared earnestly.
“Alright.” I sighed. “I’ll go.”
Angie grinned from ear to ear. “Perfect. Harley, you may now leave.”
“But—”
Angie shoved him out and locked the door. Then she swung toward me and clasped her hands. “Where’s your closet?”
I pointed.
Angie rifled through my clothes. I climbed to the edge of my bed and sulked. Half of me hoped she didn’t find anything so I had an excuse not to go. A breakup required ice cream and petulant solitude not obnoxious music and crowds.
Unfortunately, Angie pulled out a dress from the back of my closet. “This is cute.”
It was a little red dress with a scooped collar, long sleeves and a short flared skirt. I’d found it at the thrift shop a few years ago and thought it was nice, but I’d never worn the thing.
“It’s old.”
“It’s perfect.” She flung it on the bed. “Put it on let me do your hair and makeup.”
Angie doused my hair in water and used half a bottle of my leave-in conditioner to get the look she wanted. When I was done, I tottered outside and found Harley lounging in the sofa watching a game.
He glanced up with a scowl. “Do you have any idea what time it… is?” His eyes landed on me and widened. “Mo, wow. You look—”
“Stunning, right?” Angie placed her hands on her hips and smiled proudly.
“Like you’re trying to win him
back.” Harley frowned. “That’s what he’ll think when he sees you.”
“Really?” I smoothed my hand over the short skirt.
Angie swatted my nervous fingers. “That’s the point. We’ll make him wish for what he can’t have. Are you ready to go?”
“I just need to text my parents. They’re at a wake tonight.” I pulled out my cell phone and shot them both a quick message before nodding. “Okay. I’m ready.”
The party was at a senior’s house. It was a sprawling two-story with imposing pillars and a huge front porch.
Though I’d seen plenty of parties in movies, it was my first time attending one. For the most part, it matched what I’d seen on TV. There was blasting music. Tons of beer. Couples dancing. And beer pong. Weirdly, it felt familiar.
I watch way too many teen dramas on Netflix.
The DJ shifted to another song.
Angie did a little wiggle. “Ooh, this song is my jam. Come and dance, Mon.”
“No thanks.”
“Fine.” Angie grabbed Harley by the collar. “Then you’re up, Blondie.”
“What?” Harley moaned.
I watched them weave into the crowd of dancers. Angie threw her hands up and whipped her head from side to side. Her hips moved with the rhythm. She danced with abandon and I couldn’t help but admire her.
Then my eyes shifted to Harley.
My best friend rotated his hands and did an awkward shuffle.
Poor thing.
I glanced away and wandered around the party. It seemed to be contained to the ground floor, though I saw some people hanging out on the stairs. Everyone held a red cup, and I wondered if I should go and grab an empty one just to fit in.
Before I could decide, someone knocked into me, spilling tepid beer over my dress. I felt the liquid sailing down my arms and legs. With a small cry, I whirled around and glared at the girl who looked at me with an exaggerated gasp of surprise.
“Oh no. I didn’t mean to do that.”
I tilted my head as I stared at her. The lighting was dim, but that head of red hair struck a memory. She was the girl who’d been clinging to James earlier in the hallway.
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not.” The girl took my hand. “There’s a bathroom off the corridor. I’ll help you clean up.”
I allowed her to drag me along because I needed directions, but as soon as I spotted the line in front of the bathroom, I tossed her hand down. The wait was brutal. I danced from foot to foot until it was my turn.
