by Marie Force
I turn to him, slide my hands from his chest to his shoulders and draw his head down for a kiss. “Flynn?”
“Hmmm?” His eyes are closed and his jaw is tight.
“Every time you touch me, you take me apart, piece by piece. And then you kiss me and put me back together.”
“God, Natalie… You do the same thing to me. You said it so perfectly.” He cups my face and kisses me again. “I’m falling so hard and so fast for you.”
“I’m falling just as fast.”
“Are you scared?”
“Terrified.”
“Don’t be. You’re safe with me. I promise.” He holds me close as the warm water rains down upon us. His erection presses insistently into my belly, reminding me of what he wants from me. What would’ve terrified me a week ago now intrigues me. I want to touch him there. I want to touch him everywhere.
With a tender kiss to my forehead, he releases me to finish my shower. When I step out a few minutes later, I find a stack of dry towels and a robe. He’s thoughtful and sweet and sexy as hell. Though I don’t want to be nervous about sleeping with him, I am nonetheless. Mostly I’m worried that I’m not being fair to him by sleeping with him but not allowing it to go any further.
The robe is so big, it could wrap around me twice. I tie the belt tightly and hang the towels to dry. I venture into his bedroom, where he is lying on the bed, propped up on his side on a mountain of pillows, wearing only a pair of loose-fitting pajama pants and black glasses as his fingers fly over his phone. The glasses are hot. Seriously hot. He catches me staring at him and smiles.
“Glasses?”
“Took my contacts out.”
“Ahh. I like them.”
“Yeah?”
Nodding, I go to the closet, where I fetch my hairdryer and something to sleep in. By the time I get dressed, dry my hair and return to the bedroom, he has traded his phone for an e-reader. He sees me coming and turns down the covers on the other side of the bed, inviting me to join him.
I slide between soft, cool sheets. I feel awkward and uncertain about where I should put my hands and what will happen now that we’re in a big, comfortable bed together.
He puts down the e-reader, takes off his glasses and moves closer to me, covering my fussing hands with one of his. “Don’t be nervous, Nat. It’s just me and you, and I’m so happy you’re here.”
Turning to face him, I give his hand a squeeze. “How do you always know just what to say to me?”
“I don’t know anything. I’m always afraid of saying or doing something that will scare you away from me.” He holds out his arm, inviting me to come closer to him.
I scoot across the silky sheet and sigh with pleasure when his arms encircle me. “The last thing I’m thinking about now is running away from you.” He’s becoming essential to me one minute at a time, and the thoughts I had days ago about getting out of this seem foolish now.
“You must be so tired.” His lips brush against my hair. “It’s after one in the East.”
“I had a three-hour nap.”
“That’s true.” He releases me to turn off the light but comes right back to where he was with his arms around me.
“Are you tired?” I ask him.
“Not really. I tend to be a bit of a night owl.”
“We don’t have to go to bed yet if you don’t want to.”
“Natalie,” he says, laughing softly, “do you think wild horses could drag me out of this bed right now?”
“Is that your charming way of saying you like having me in your bed?”
“I love having you in my bed and in my shower and in my pool. But mostly in my life.”
I raise my hand to his arm and set out to learn the contours of his muscles.
“Tell me about your family,” he says.
The request catches me off guard and unprepared. How to answer without giving too much away…
“Is it okay to ask about them?”
“Yeah, sure. I have two younger sisters, Candace and Olivia.” I don’t mention that I haven’t seen them in eight years, that I miss them every day, that Candace would’ve graduated from high school last year, and I wasn’t there to celebrate with her. They were still little girls when I left, when I sacrificed myself to save them.
“And your parents?”
“My dad works in state government.” Or he had the last time I’d bothered to check three years ago. “My mom works for an insurance company.”
“Are you close with them?”
“Not really. We had… We had some issues when I was growing up, and I don’t see much of them.” I can’t tell him that my parents let me down when I needed them most, and left me twisting in the wind alone and broken. I don’t want him to know I come from people like them.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to poke at something painful.”
“You’re not. It’s a fair question.”
He raises his hand to my face before he kisses me. “You’re not alone anymore, Natalie. I hope you know that.”
“I do, and it helps. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, sweet girl. Being with you makes me so happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.”
“I still can’t believe you feel that way about me.”
“Believe it. It gets stronger every day.” He kisses me again, more intently this time, and I open my lips to his tongue. His kisses strip me bare and leave me reeling from the powerful punch of desire I experience every time.
Flynn breaks the kiss suddenly. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I didn’t mean to get so carried away again.”
“I like when you get carried away.”
“Natalie…” He groans. “You’re killing me. You know that, don’t you?”
“I wish I could be like other women and give you what you want, but—”
His finger over my lips stops me. “Please don’t ever say that. You’re perfect just the way you are, and I don’t want you to be like anyone else. Close your eyes and relax. I’ve got you, and everything is okay.”
He will never know how much it means to me to hear him say that, how long I’ve yearned for someone to tell me everything is okay. Despite the steady thrum of desire zipping through my veins, I find myself drifting into sleep.
Chapter 14
I’m wound so tightly I fear I’ll break in half if I so much as move. Holding Natalie in my arms as she sleeps is both heaven and hell at the same time. I want her so badly, but not just physically. I want to possess her heart and soul. I want to share her life and her passion. I want it all with her, which is why I forced myself to end a kiss that was spiraling out of control.
I know how much courage it took for her to tell me she wanted to sleep with me. I don’t want to take advantage of her close proximity by pushing her for things she’s told me she’s not ready to do.
I’m restless, and the desire-driven tension that grips my body has me buzzing like I’ve ingested a week’s worth of caffeine. With Natalie warm and soft in my arms, my thoughts are free to roam. The last time I attempted a relationship similar to what’s happening with Natalie was with my ex-wife, Valerie. We’d been married two years before I let her see the full extent of my sexual desires. I was unable to deny that part of myself any longer. When I told her what I wanted—what I really wanted—she was horrified and said I was depraved. Shortly afterward, she arranged for me to catch her having sex with another man, which was her way of telling me we were done.
Our marriage was a disaster in more ways than one, which is why I publicly stated I’d never marry again. Despite the intense feelings I already have for Natalie, I still believe I’m better off not being married. What would sweet, lovely, wounded Natalie think if I told her I want to tie her up, clamp her nipples, spank her sweet ass, and then watch her take a thick plug there. I want to fuck her senseless and watch her suck my dick while I flog her.
Yeah, I can only imagine how that conversation would go. Frustrated and turned on thanks to the direction my thoughts
have taken, I drag a hand through my hair. Hayden is right about me. When I try to deny who and what I am, it usually goes bad for me and the women who have the misfortune to get involved with me. The majority of them never knew why I wasn’t satisfied by what we did together, just that it was over between us.
Even knowing why it’s a bad idea to let this continue, I already can’t imagine a day without Natalie in it. I try to picture telling her, after everything we’ve already shared, that I’ve changed my mind, that I’ve decided we aren’t compatible after all. Those words would hurt her, perhaps so deeply she’d never take a chance with a man again. The thought of that hurts me.
I’m a fucking heartless bastard because I know I’ll never let her go, despite all the reasons why I should.
I fight off the sleep that would claim me because I don’t want to miss a second of the sweet pleasure of holding her while she sleeps. When I can’t fight it any longer, I drift into uneasy rest, filled with dreams of me chasing after something I can’t have. Every time I get close, it slips away again. I can’t see or touch what I’m after, but I can feel it so intensely, I wonder how I can breathe through the painful surge of desire.
Then I’m at the club in New York. It’s dark except for the single light that illuminates the table where Natalie stands, still wearing the robe I provided for her and afraid of what I’m going to do to her. I like that she’s afraid. Though she has come here willingly, her underlying fear fires my desire.
Here in my dreams, she’s not a rape survivor. She isn’t broken inside. She isn’t fragile or hesitant. I’m confident she can handle what I have planned for her.
“Take off the robe,” I tell her, my tone leaving no room for negotiation. She’s my sub, and I’m in charge.
She looks around the big room full of people, many of whom are looking on in eager anticipation of our scene, which has been many months in the making. We’ve spent hours playing at home, building up to tonight, the night we go public at Quantum. It’s the fulfillment of every dream I’ve ever had to bring her here, to my place, with my friends watching and supporting us.
Her hands tremble as she tugs on the knot, the robe falling open to reveal the creamy skin that has been the source of all my fantasies since I first laid eyes on her. My gaze falls to her pussy and the thin strip of light hair that covers her. I prefer her bare, so my first order of business will be to shave her. I’ve told her I want to do it, but I haven’t told her it’ll happen here tonight.
“The robe,” I say again, watching her closely as she shrugs it off her shoulders and holds it to her for a long moment before letting it drop to her feet.
She is exquisite. Her breasts are large and full, her nipples like dark red berries and standing at attention. At her waist, her fingers link and unlink in an unconscious show of nerves.
“On the table, sweetheart.”
She gives me an uncertain look before she hesitantly does what I’ve asked her to do.
“Tell me your safe word.” We’ve negotiated this in advance, along with her hard and soft limits. I know how far I can push her, what will break her and what won’t. I’m not interested in breaking her, though. I’m far more interested in worshiping her in the best way I know how.
“Fluff,” she says softly.
“And when should you use it?”
“If something is too much for me or if it hurts.”
“And what will happen if you say that word?”
“Everything stops.”
“Good.” I give her a soft, reassuring kiss and help her to lie back on the table, noting the deep tremor that has overtaken her thighs.
Seeing that makes me hot and harder than I’ve ever been in my life. Bringing Natalie into my world and showing her my inner self is the culmination of every fantasy I’ve ever had about what true love would be like. There’s no hiding, no evasion, no denial. I’d have her and everything else I want, too. Before Natalie, it seemed I’d never have it all, and now I have everything.
I’ve prepared in advance for our scene, so I’m ready for her. I ease her legs apart and place her feet in stirrups that I pull from under the table. I tug her bottom to the edge of the table. The bowl of warm water, shaving cream and razor are waiting for me. As I lather her up, she raises her head for a look.
“Wha… What’re you doing?”
“Making you ready.” I drag the razor over her most sensitive skin, and she moans. The sound travels like an electrical current straight to my already hard cock. I take my time to shave her clean with slow, even strokes of the razor.
As I work, I notice the quivering in her thighs has become more intense, forcing me to place my free hand over her lower belly to keep her from moving. The last thing I want is to cut her or cause her real pain. That’s not the goal here.
By the time I finish, her eyes are closed and her lips parted in supplication that makes my cock throb in anticipation. I wipe away the remaining shaving cream with a warm cloth and reach for a tube of lubricant. With my index and middle fingers coated with lube, I press against her back entrance, preparing her to take a plug.
She fights back, resisting the intrusion. “No,” she gasps. “Not there.”
“Yes, there. Be still.” I push against the muscles that are determined to keep me out, drawing a whimper of protest from her but no safe word. This is the first time I’ve touched her there, and I can tell she’s shocked and aroused. It’s a battle, but she eventually cedes and lets me in. Her moans and groans feed the beast inside me, making me ravenous for her and satisfying me in ways that nothing else ever could. I keep my fingers buried deep inside her ass as I bend to lick her pussy, stroking my tongue over her clit until she’s squirming from the need for release.
“Don’t come,” I say harshly. “I own your orgasm, and I say when.”
“Flynn…”
“That’s not my name here.”
“Sir… Please… Let me come.”
“Not until I say you can.”
All around us, everything has come to a halt in the club, and we are the main attraction. I want her to see that, so I order her to open her eyes and look around. When she realizes everyone is watching me fuck her ass with my fingers while I deny her orgasm, her entire body flushes with heat. “Does my baby like to be watched?”
“No.”
“Are you lying to me?”
She squirms, trying to dislodge my fingers. I press them deeper and her back arches in response. “No.”
I drag my free hand between her legs, where she is fairly dripping. “I’ve discovered evidence that says otherwise.”
Natalie shudders from the need to come, a need I won’t let her give in to until I’m good and ready.
“Do you know what happens to bad girls who lie to their Doms?”
“No,” she says on a whimper.
“They get their sweet asses spanked until they’re so red and rosy that they can’t sit for a week without remembering how they got so sore.” My words bring a new rush of moisture from her pussy. “Mmm, the thought of that turns you on, too, doesn’t it?”
“No!”
I slap her ass—hard—drawing a sharp cry from her and another gush from between her legs. God, she’s perfect. She responds to me like no one else ever has. I pull my fingers back, almost to the point of removing them. Natalie holds her breath while she waits to see what I’ll do. I don’t leave her hanging for long. I drive them back into her and suck on her clit at the same time, sending her into a screaming orgasm that has her ass clamping down hard on my fingers.
I can’t wait to feel that hard clamp around my cock.
“I don’t recall giving you permission to come,” I say as she floats back to reality after the scorching release. “You know what that means, don’t you?”
She licks lips gone dry. “No. What?”
“It means you must be punished for your bad behavior.” I pull my fingers free of her ass so quickly, she gasps. After I wipe my hand clean with a towel, I reach f
or one of the jeweled clamps that sits on my tray. Bending over her, I lick and suck her left nipple until it is standing up tall and proud and then affix the clamp before she has time to process what I plan to do.
She screams from the pinch of the clamp.
I give her other breast the same treatment and then wipe away her tears. “Do you need your safe word, sweetheart?”
She bites her lip and shakes her head. She’s so brave and willing, the woman of my dreams. The one I thought I’d never be lucky enough to find. I love her more than life itself.
“Turn over.” When she complies with my demand, moving carefully so as not to test the clamps, I arrange her so her feet are on the floor and her upper body is bent over the table. My hand finds her ass cheek and squeezes, testing her pliability.
Her head falls to the cushion of her arms as her legs continue to tremble.
I deliver a sharp spank to her lower left cheek, right where her leg meets her bottom.
Other than a sharp intake of breath and the quiver of her bottom cheeks, she doesn’t react. I do it again on the other side, waiting all the while for the safe word that doesn’t come. I spank her until both cheeks are rosy red and then rub them until the heat from her ass spreads to the rest of her body.
Separating her cheeks, I home in on her anus, which still glistens from the lube I applied earlier. I reach for the plug I’ve chosen for her and press it against her entrance. It’s big, but it has nothing on me, and I want to prepare her to take me. Eventually.
“God, Flynn… I can’t.”
“What do you call me here?”
“Sir… Please, sir… I can’t take that.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No.”
“Do I hear your safe word, Natalie?”
When she remains stubbornly silent, I smile with satisfaction and continue to work the plug into her, all the while rubbing the heated skin on her ass and making her squirm.
“This is the biggest part,” I tell her. “Push out and let it in.”
