by Marie Force
He shakes his head, regret pouring off him in waves. “I met Max Godfrey when he was filming a scene in Compton. The greatest stroke of luck of my life—until recently,” he says, glancing at me, “was meeting Max. I’ll never forget that day. I’d heard about the movie being shot in the neighborhood, and I wanted to see what it was like, so I went there. He caught me stealing food from the craft services table and took me into his trailer, set me up with a proper meal and grilled me about my goals in life.”
Flynn grunts out a laugh. “Of course he did.”
To him, Kristian says, “Neither of us have ever told you about that day when he offered a hard-luck street kid a job in his company and set me up with an apartment. Then he introduced me to his son, who became one of my closest friends, and the rest, as they say, is history.”
“He always says he saw something special in you from the first day he met you,” Flynn says. Like everyone else, his eyes are bright with tears after hearing Kristian’s story.
“He saved my life. Without him, I would’ve ended up dead or in jail. I owe him everything.” After a long pause, he says, “I lied to you guys when we formed our partnership. I never graduated from high school. I barely have a fifth-grade education.”
Hayden whirls around, his expression ferocious. “Who the fuck cares about that?” Gesturing to the assembled group, he says, “None of this works without you. I don’t give a shit if you fucking flunked kindergarten. You’re the heart and soul of Quantum.”
“Agreed,” Flynn says. “We’re nowhere without you.”
Kristian bows his head, overwhelmed by the outpouring.
“Liza, what’s it going to take to protect him?” Flynn asks.
“We’ll have to go to war on the media,” she says bluntly.
“Then let’s go to war.”
Kristian is completely drained after sharing the story with his partners and the others. I lead him upstairs to lie down while his partners and friends wage war on his behalf. Emmett is working with the district attorney’s office to try to get Kristian treated as a victim, which would keep some of the more salacious details out of the news. Emmett’s argument is that because Kristian was a child when his mother was murdered, he should be afforded the same protections any child victim of violent crime would be granted.
But because he’s a public figure, it’s a stretch to hope that Emmett will succeed, but he’s trying nonetheless.
“I can’t believe what they’re doing for me,” he says.
“They love you.”
He nods. “It means the world to me that you’re here, too.”
“Where else would I be with this happening to you?”
In his bed, I cuddle up to him, my arm around his waist, my leg tucked between his.
“This must be what people mean when they refer to someone as their other half.”
I smile up at him, and see the look of wonder in his expression. “What do you think of having another half?”
“I think I love it.” He caresses my face and then kisses me. “What about the kids?”
“Cece said she can spend the night. She told the kids you aren’t feeling well, and I’m taking care of you. They said they hope you feel better.”
“We can go to your place if you want to be with them.”
“We’re fine right here. Try to relax and get some rest.”
“I’m too wired to rest.”
“What would you rather do?”
He tilts my chin up to receive his kiss. “This. I’d rather do this.”
“I’m always happy to do that.”
But rather than kiss me, he leans his forehead against mine and releases a deep, shuddering breath. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything. I never could’ve told the others without your encouragement, without you sitting next to me, holding my hand, offering your support. If this had happened before I had you, I’d be losing my mind without you here to tell me it’s going to be all right.”
“No, you wouldn’t have. You would’ve done what you always did before. You would’ve survived.”
“But this is so much better,” he says, kissing me. “So, so much better.” As he kisses me, he removes my dress, only pulling away from the kiss to lift it over my head. He continues to kiss me while removing my bra, breaking the kiss again to slide the panties down my legs. His hungry gaze travels over my body, making me feel beautiful and desired—two things I used to wonder if I’d ever feel again after my illness.
I reach for him, help him out of his shirt and tug at the button to his pants.
When he’s naked, he settles on top of me, gazing down at my face and holding my hands over my head. “I love you so much. I’ve never had anyone who belonged to me the way you do.”
“I’ve never had that either. Not like this.”
His lips curve into a small smile, but in his eyes, I still see the wounded little boy. I’m determined to ensure that little boy is never hurt again.
“Make love to me, Kristian.”
“There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
He drives me wild with his lips and teeth, kissing every part of me and refusing to allow me to come until I’m nothing but writhing, desperate need. Then he enters me, triggering the release that’s been building from the first kiss.
“Very naughty,” he whispers in my ear. “Subs who come without permission get their asses paddled.”
“Yes, please.”
His eyes go dark, and his cock gets even harder inside me. “You want me to paddle you?”
“I told you I want everything with you.”
Gripping my shoulders, he thrusts into me several times before pulling out abruptly, leaving me gasping from the sudden loss. “On your knees.”
Everything about him is different, including the tone of his voice. Gone is the wounded little boy. In his place is the commanding Dom who thrives on control. “Hurry up.”
Adrenaline speeds through me as I move into the requested position, anticipation and anxiety spiking into a hot throb of need between my legs. This is what Kristian meant by more. He hasn’t even touched me yet, and I’m about to explode. I hear rustling in another part of the room and start to glance over my shoulder to see what he’s doing.
“Head down.”
That commanding tone makes me shiver. I drop my forehead to my hands and wait. And wait some more. He doesn’t make a sound. I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing.
Until the paddle connects with my ass in a blaze of heat and pain that quickly turns to desire. I immediately want more.
He gives it to me. The paddle rains down on my ass, more times than I can count.
I love it. I want more. “Don’t stop.”
“Fuck, Aileen,” he says through gritted teeth, but he doesn’t stop.
The next thing I know, I’m in his arms, looking up at him. I blink him into focus. Why does he look so concerned?
“Thank Christ,” he mutters. “You totally punched out on me.” He caresses my face and runs his hand down my arm. “Are you okay?”
I feel… divine. I can’t recall the last time I was so relaxed or free of worry. It’s like I’m floating on the softest cloud in a sea of absolute contentment.
He gives me a little shake. “Aileen.”
“I’m fine. Better than fine.”
“You are? Really?”
Nodding, I grasp his hand and link our fingers. “I loved it.”
“You came so hard.”
“I did?”
“You don’t remember?”
“Not really. It’s like I was somewhere else or something. I can’t explain it.” As I regain my senses, I realize my ass and pussy are tingling.
“It’s subspace. That’s what happens when the endorphins kick in.”
“I feel so relaxed.”
“I’m glad one of us is relaxed. You kind of scared me with the way you zoned out.”
“I’m sorry you were scared.”
“You didn’t hurt me, and I knew how to stop it. Did you hear me say I loved it?”
“Yeah, but—”
I kiss him. “No buts. I loved it. I want more.”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m still trying to figure out how I got lucky enough to find you.”
“We were both lucky to find each other. Everything is going to be better now.”
Tightening his hold on me, he says, “You promise?”
“I promise.”
Epilogue
I’ve never had a warm, soft place to land before, and now that I do, I want to wallow in it. I want to wallow in her. I want to be with her all the time. The best part is, she wants to be with me just as much. We no longer try to hide from the kids the fact that I sleep in her bed. Last night, during a thunderstorm, Maddie crawled into our bed and let me comfort her while Aileen slept through the whole thing.
Holding her little girl in my arms during the storm, I told her that nothing can find her in the dark, not even the thunder or lightning. “The dark,” I whispered, “is your friend.”
“I used to be scared of the dark,” she whispered back.
“There’s no need to be. I’m here now. You’ve got nothing to be afraid of.”
She fell asleep in my arms and stayed there all night.
Despite our best efforts, the story about my past exploded in the media, every sordid detail broadcast and printed for the world to see. Rather than being consumed by it, though, I’ve cruised below the radar, spending time with Aileen, the kids and our friends. I’ve ignored every report and the scores of interview requests. Liza put out the word that I won’t comment on my mother’s case now or ever.
I’ve accepted the heartfelt condolences of business associates, friends, former subs and others who’ve only just heard about my mother’s murder. I thank each person and move on, unwilling to linger on the pain of the past when the present is so sweet.
I’ll have to testify at the trial, which I’ll gladly do to make sure the man who killed my mother gets what he deserves. For thirty-three years, he lived free and clear after killing my mother and subjecting me to a life I wouldn’t wish on anyone, let alone a helpless child. But the trial is months in the future, and for now, I focus on my many blessings rather than dwelling in my painful past.
Today, we’re attending the carnival Flynn and Natalie’s childhood hunger foundation is hosting at a Calabasas estate. I’m proud to sit on the board of directors of this great organization and have established a scholarship in my mother’s name that will be awarded annually to children who grow up in the foster care system. I like to think that if she’d lived, my mother would’ve found a way out of prostitution and drug abuse. Maybe that never would’ve happened, but it brings me comfort to think about a better life for both of us.
In the meantime, I’m focused on the better life that I’ve found with Aileen. Yesterday, she heard from the oncologist that her tests came back normal. He said he’d see her in three months, when we’ll go through the whole cycle again. She tells me I’ll get used to the waiting, the worrying, the speculating. I doubt I’ll ever get used to it, but I’ll find a way to handle it because that’s what she needs me to do—and there’s literally nothing I won’t do for her.
On the way to Calabasas, the kids chatter with excitement about the rides, the petting zoo, the face painting and the prizes, one of which is a pony I donated in exchange for Natalie making sure that Maddie is the winner. I donated two more, along with stable fees, so two other kids will get lucky, too. Logan is set to win a drone. In the park last week, he was fascinated by one we saw, and I wanted to get him one of his own.
Since Aileen won’t let me spoil them, I have to get creative.
But those aren’t the only surprises I have planned for today.
We arrive at the estate where valets are on hand to take care of the Mercedes G-Wagon I find myself driving more and more often as it has room for a family.
I have a family. An actual family, not just the one I’ve cobbled together over the years, but one that belongs exclusively to me. It’s my most prized possession.
As we walk toward the tents and rides, Maddie slips her hand into mine. She’s feeling shy about the big crowd now that we’re finally here. I reach down to pick her up, and when she wraps her arms around my neck, I swear my heart skips a beat.
“I’ve got you, pumpkin.”
She holds on tighter to me.
I love it. I love her.
We encounter our entire gang on the way in. Flynn’s sisters and their families are there, along with his parents, who greet us warmly. I use my free arm to hug Stella and Max Godfrey, the closest thing to parents I’ve ever had.
“Who’ve you got there, Kris?” Max asks in his big, booming voice.
Maddie snuggles in tighter.
“This package? This is Maddie, and she’s excited to ride the ponies today.”
“Oh, I love ponies,” Max says.
Maddie lifts her head off my shoulder to give Max a skeptical look, as if to ask if he’s for real. “You’re too big for ponies,” she says.
Max laughs. “I’m not too big to lead them around for little girls like you.” He tugs on a lock of her hair. “Will you let me lead your pony?”
Enchanted by him, Maddie nods.
Max offers a high five. “It’s a date.”
Maddie smacks her hand against his, and my heart… It’s so full of love for them, the man who gave me everything, and the little girl, who, along with her brother, is slowly but surely making a father out of me.
Maddie holds on to me until she sees the rides, and then she’s all about the merry-go-round with Logan, who tolerates the ride because he knows she wants to sit on the horses.
Aileen and I wave to them as they go by.
This is what it’s like to be a dad, I realize. Having never had one of my own, I hope I can figure it out as I go along. Thankfully, I have men like Max Godfrey in my life to show me how it’s supposed to be done.
“You’re so great with them,” Aileen tells me, as she does most days.
I never have to wonder if she approves of the way I deal with the kids. Her complete support and encouragement of my relationships with them is one of many ways she demonstrates her love for me every day. I can’t think about the other ways she demonstrates her love, or I’ll be hard as a rock anticipating bedtime, which has become my favorite part of the day.
“They make it easy on me, and I love them as much as I love their mother.” I kiss the top of her head. The curly hair that’s getting longer tickles my nose.
“I used to hope that someday I’d meet a guy who loved me and my kids, but you’re so much better than anything I ever dared to hope for.”
“Even when I snore and hog the bed and demand sex three times a day?”
She leans into me, and I wrap my arm around her. “Even then,” she says on a long sigh.
This… This is what contentment feels like. That’s one of many new emotions, including joy, that I’ve learned to identify in the last few weeks. I experience them so often these days that they’re like new friends, along for the ride that is my wonderful new life.
Natalie comes over to us, bright-eyed and smiling at the successful event she spearheaded as the foundation’s director. Everyone is thrilled about their big news. They’ll be amazing parents. “Having a good time?” she asks.
“The best time,” Aileen says.
We wave at the kids as they go by again.
“Can I steal Aileen for a few minutes?” Natalie asks me.
“If you must.” I reluctantly release her.
“Do you mind being on kid duty for a few?” she asks.
“Not at all, and you don’t have to ask me. I never mind being on kid duty.”
Smiling, she kisses me and takes off with her friend. I love
seeing her healthy, tanned and happy. I’m so damned thankful for her continued good health, and I, who never said a prayer in my life until recently, beg God every night to keep her that way because I can’t live without her.
The kids come off the merry-go-round, and I take them to get cotton candy. While they enjoy the sweet treat, I ask them if I can talk to them about something.
Logan is immediately wary.
“Nothing bad,” I quickly add. “In fact, it’s something kind of cool. At least I hope you’ll think so.”
“What is it?” Maddie asks, her mouth full of sugar that stains her lips pink. She’s so damned cute.
Here goes… “I was wondering how you guys would feel about me asking your mom to marry me.”
For what feels like forever, neither of them replies.
Maddie glances at Logan, looking for him to take the lead.
“Would you be our dad then?” he asks.
“Only if you want me to.” Please want me to. Please…
“That’d be cool,” he says, taking another bite of his cotton candy, as if he hasn’t just changed my life with three little words.
Maddie nods in agreement. “I want you to.”
I put my arm around her. “I want that, too. What do you think your mom will say?”
“Duh,” Logan says with preteen disdain. “She’ll cry and freak out.”
“You think so?”
“She’s a girl. They freak out over stuff like that.”
Snorting with laughter, I bump his shoulder with mine. “You’re very wise about women for only being nine.”
“I’m almost ten.”
I love the way he says that. I can’t wait to see what he’s like at sixteen or seventeen. Hell, I can’t wait to see him at every age and to watch him become a man.
“Don’t say anything to your mom, okay? I want to surprise her later.”
“Can we come when you surprise her?” Maddie asks.
“Of course you can.” I’d already decided they should be part of it. After all, they’ve been part of us from the beginning, and they always will be. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
