by Rowan Shaw
When he reopened his beautiful dark eyes, I signed, "How will you tell I'm getting close if you can't hear?"
He gave the tiniest smile and signed back, "I will feel it in the way you move when you quicken your pace and slam into me. It's also in the way your body tenses and how your breath deepens against my skin. I don't need to hear you. I can feel every second of your pleasure."
He made it sound so damn erotic, I found myself envying him. To feel a lover's ecstasy without cues from their rising voice was a unique gift.
"Let me show you," he signed and kneeled between my knees, pushing them apart as he bent down and took me whole into his mouth.
"Shit, Enzo!" I exhaled before remembering he had no clue what I was saying.
My entire body shook in a tremor from his lips pushing against my foreskin as he licked me up and down. I let out a moan while Enzo bobbed his head, doing me so good I might rise to the top too soon. I knew he could deepthroat like no one else. I'd missed the sensation of his mouth on me so damn much. I'd never met anyone who gave head like he did. I could stay here all fucking day and let him blow me repeatedly for hours. I knew from experience he wouldn't mind. Enzo loved oral.
When my balls tightened, he smiled against my skin and pulled away to kiss my thighs, shooting shivers all over. I wanted inside him already, but he was determined to torment me to the breaking point. He didn't seem to need any words as he took me in his mouth again and brought me right to the edge.
"Stop," I let out in spite of myself, then grabbed his shoulders as a signal. He looked at me from underneath his eyelashes, his pupils so dilated I could barely see his brown irises. "You're gonna make me come. I want to come inside you," I signed.
He nodded and sat back up. "Where are the condoms?"
I froze. "I thought we didn't need those. We were both tested, and we're negative."
He breathed deeply as if bracing himself. "I want to wait a bit longer. I'm not ready."
"You don't trust me?" I couldn't help but feel hurt, though I had no right to push for this. Enzo was in control of his own body. If he wanted me to use a rubber, I would. But a part of me felt betrayed. "You think I'm gonna cheat?"
"What? No!" he said the words aloud, then signed, "I want to wait a bit. That's all."
He looked so remorseful, I tried to ignore my wounded feelings. I wanted him to feel comfortable. After what Cyrille had done to him, I couldn't blame him for wanting to be safe. He only deserved the best.
"Okay, that's fine," I relented. "The condoms are in my nightstand table."
Enzo leaned over the side of the bed to open the drawer and pulled out a rubber and some lube. Then he tore the foil before sheathing me. He looked into my eyes as he grabbed the lube and ran it up and down my shaft, his touch making me jerk my hips up to meet his grasp.
"Tsk tsk," he scolded. "Be patient."
I grabbed his waist when he moved to lower himself over me, taking my breath away as I penetrated him slowly. He felt so damn good, so fucking tight. He winced from the pain and paused, waiting for his body to adjust and get used to the filling sensation. When he slid down again, this time all the way to my hilt, he let out a moan that shot down to my dick, arousing me even more. He paused again, breathing upon the intrusion, then rocked his hips slowly, still trying to accommodate me inside him.
"Kiss me," I signed.
He leaned into me as I cupped the back of his head and thrust in and out of him, following his slow, guiding rhythm. His breath hitched against my tongue, his moans vibrating inside my mouth. His eyes were closed, his forehead creased in pleasure or pain; I couldn't tell.
He didn't say a word, but he increased the pace, his motions speeding up my thrusts as I met his every move with mine. He was tight around my dick, his heady smell surrounding me, his flesh warm. I pounded more quickly, filling him as I slammed inside him and he rolled his hips, taking me in as deeply as he could.
I was about to come. I didn't know how to tell him. He still had his eyes closed, his hands flat on my chest, his head tilted back. When I felt the familiar quivers taking over, I slowed my pace, hoping to last, and grabbed his cock to jerk him off. He opened his eyes, his breathing heavy, his entire body shaking. He gave me a nod as he locked his gaze on me, and I followed his guidance. I thrust inside him harder, soon taking him to the edge and pushing him over. He released all over my chest in a strangled shout, his ass squeezing me, drawing me in further as he made me come so hard, stars filled my vision.
My heart raced so fast, I could barely catch my breath. When everything slowed down, Enzo smiled at me and nestled his head against my neck, his sweaty skin sticking to mine as I rocked my hips, still moving slowly inside him. He was warm against me, a furnace against my chest. I ran my fingers up and down his back. I could feel his erratic heart pumping against mine while I remained inside him for as long as I could. I had no desire to get out.
Once Enzo recovered a bit, he pulled back to look at me and signed with a tiny, lopsided smile, "See, I didn't need to hear you to make you come."
I laughed and signed back, "You sure didn't. I don't think I've ever come this hard in my life."
He arched an eyebrow. "Really? Not even during that threesome with Raphaël?"
I didn't want to discuss that while I was still inside him, but I replied, "Not even then."
"Ah!" he exclaimed out loud and beamed at me, all proud of himself. "One point for me. Zero for Raphaël."
"I wasn't aware he was part of the game," I signed in a chuckle.
Enzo thought about that for a second and shrugged. "I guess not."
"I lasted longer than you. I win this round."
He shook his head, frowning. "You told me to stop giving you head when you were getting close. I'm not sure this time counts."
"The game is about who comes first when we fuck. Not who comes first when we give head. Unless you want us to take turns as we time it."
Enzo raised an eyebrow in a challenge again. "I like that idea. Let's time it. I'm sure I'll win. And if I do, I get to top."
I shrugged. "Either way, I'm a winner."
He gave me a peck on the lips. "If that's how you want to look at it, sure."
Chapter 34
ENZO
"You lose!" I exclaimed when I checked the timer. "I lasted twenty minutes. You only lasted ten."
Florian shook his head. "No need to rub it in my face. That either means you give better head than I do, or I want to fuck you more than you want to fuck me. Either way, it doesn't sound good for me."
I chucked and signed, "I have something for you."
Florian's gaze drew long lines over my body when I stood naked from the bed and went to my backpack, from which I dug out a box that was still packed. When I turned my head, I caught Florian trying to sneak a peek over my shoulder while holding himself up on his elbows.
"Wait. Are those headphones?" he asked.
"No. They're ear muffs."
His brows dipped down. "Okay...?"
"I want you to feel me when I'm inside you. No hearing."
When we'd first discussed having sex, I'd gone shopping for the ear muffs, hoping Florian would be on board with this plan. I had waited anxiously, worried he'd think I was being weird.
His mouth opened in an O of surprise. He didn't seem convinced—just as I feared.
"Get on your knees," I commanded.
"I see you decided you're in control now."
"If that's okay with you, yes."
Florian tilted his head to the side. "You're gonna do me from behind?"
I flicked my hand for him to roll around and signed, "You got that right. Now shush."
I saw him laugh without a sound as I approached his fluffy comforter. When he wouldn't get on his knees, I signed, "You okay with bottoming?"
"Always."
Okay, then! I grabbed his waist and flipped him on all fours. I could tell he was saying something, so I tapped his shoulder.
"You want to do this, rig
ht?" I signed.
"Fuck yeah."
I gave a little smile and pulled the ear muffs from their box. They were a bit too big for my comfort, but they'd have to do. "Do you want to see? Or should I blindfold you as well?"
"Maybe next time," Florian mouthed at me over his shoulder.
I placed the ear muffs over his ears and tossed the box on the ground. A feeling of comfort consumed me knowing he couldn't hear a thing. He would finally experience what I did, something I had never shared with anyone before.
I wasn't hard anymore when I grabbed a condom and lube, but that wouldn't last. I pried Florian's legs apart and kissed the skin of his thighs while running my fingers through the hair on his legs. He was so beautiful. And he was mine. I kissed the warm skin of his muscular cheeks, then ran my tongue along his balls.
His body tensed the closer I got to his hole, and his back arched when I began to lick and feast on him, rimming him until he clenched the sheets, his head bent back in ecstasy. I couldn't tell if he was begging, but when I pulled back, his shoulders sagged.
I sat on my knees behind him and tore the foil open with my teeth to prep myself. I rubbed lube against his crack, making him shiver with need before I pushed inside him. He tightened hard enough around me to almost push me back out, but I guided myself further in and paused.
Florian was breathing heavily, his back rising and falling every time. I waited for him to adjust, then began thrusting slowly, letting his reactions control my rhythm. His flesh was warm against mine when I leaned forward to kiss the soft skin of his neck and nuzzle his temple.
He turned his head and pulled on my neck to draw me into a hungry kiss while moving against my hips to take me in deeper. Then he completely surrendered himself to me, arching his back and biting down on his pillow, quieting moans neither of us could hear.
Chapter 35
FLORIAN
I rolled on my back and took off the ear muffs, spent and worn out. Enzo and I had fallen asleep the previous night after he'd railed me so good, I'd begged him for more. Having sex without sound was the best experience of my life. Now I understood why he preferred turning his processor off. I could feel everything, every part of him, every touch, every kiss. His scent was all over my skin while my reactions channeled his like we were attuned to each other as he fucked me to oblivion.
We'd woken up sometime around one P.M. in the afternoon, then had a quick breakfast that I brought to bed, and spent the past five hours fucking, watching TV, and fucking again. When Enzo wasn't sucking me, he was buried deep inside me. I let him do me in every position imaginable. He barely let me get soft before he was right back inside for more, and I never said "no." I was so damn sore, but he felt too good for me to stop.
I was grateful Amal was visiting a friend this weekend. I would have hated for her to hear us going at it for so long. I was still technically a guest here—granted, a guest who paid rent—but Amal deserved better.
When I lay there on my back, exhausted, Enzo asked me to turn around so he could spoon me. He wrapped his arms around my stomach and kissed the length of my shoulders from side to side, then pressed his softening cock against my ass. The room reeked of sex, but I was too lazy and comfortable to open the window. I had no idea what had happened in the outside world since last night, and I didn't give a damn. Being cocooned here with Enzo was everything I needed.
I tried to enjoy as much of my time with him as I could, but I was so beat, I fell asleep against my will. The beep of my phone stirred me awake at some point. I shifted around to find Enzo's eyes trained on me.
"What time is it?" I mouthed.
"Seven P.M."
"You were awake the entire time I slept?"
He smiled without a reply and kissed my lips.
I extended my hand blindly for my phone. I hated bringing the outside world between us, but I had a serious addiction to that damn thing. When my fingertips touched the frame, I grabbed it. My eyes itched because I'd been careless enough to sleep with my contact lenses in again. The sun glare filtering through my window didn't help when I turned the screen on.
"What the hell?!" I exclaimed the instant I read the message, shoving Enzo away in my panic.
"What?"
I tapped on the screen to scroll through all my messages.
Héloïse - 3:00 P.M.: We have a situation here.
Héloïse - 3:05 P.M.: Are you there?
Héloïse - 3:10 P.M.: Florian, this is serious. Where are you?
Héloïse - 3:14 P.M.: Answer the phone!
I saw she had called every minute in between the messages, too.
Héloïse - 3:18 P.M.: Please, call me back!
She had given up after that but messaged me again only five minutes ago.
Héloïse - 6:55 P.M.: Florian, please come to the office as soon as you can.
The last text included a picture of the façade and front door of my business with three sentences sprayed across in large, far-too-legible letters.
Cette entreprise est opérer par un PD.
Protéger vos enfant. Mord aux homos!
It was seven P.M. Those damn words had been scrawled all over my façade the entire afternoon.
Enzo looked at my screen over my shoulders and read aloud, "This business its owned by a fag. Protect your kid. Bites to homos!"
He gasped and stared at me, his eyes wide in horror. "Who did this?"
"I don't know."
He scrunched his face as he read the words again. "What's up with the grammatical mistakes? Can't those haters ever learn how to spell? 'Bites to homos.' Whatever does that even mean?"
"Obviously, it's misspelled. They meant 'Death to homos.'"
"Pfff, please! This is such an insult to our intelligence! If they're going to hate on us, they could at least do themselves the favor of spelling correctly. Thanks."
He rolled his eyes, and I would have laughed at his outrage if this weren't so damn serious.
"Nobody knows about us, right?" he signed. "I thought you were closeted."
I clenched my jaw. "Marlène knows I'm queer."
"You don't think..."
"Yes, I do think she's capable of doing this."
I dropped my phone on the comforter and grabbed my hair in both hands, tearing hard. With just three sentences, my ex had ruined everything I'd worked so hard to achieve, probably sinking my entire business in one graffiti.
"Why would they mention kids?"
"Why do you think?"
Despair filled Enzo's eyes as I watched his heart break. I could barely endure the pain on his face.
"Same old belief that being queer means we're fucking pedos," I signed angrily. "You've seen that same shit at Pride, right? Those haters coming with their signs calling us all kinds of horrible names when they are actually the sick ones intruding upon our safe space."
Enzo shook his head. I couldn't tell if he was sad, angry, or truly disgusted at this point. He brought the comforter to his chin, covering his bare chest with it like he felt exposed and vulnerable. I hated myself for looking at my phone on our weekend together and bringing this insecurity between us. He seemed at a loss about what to say, so I saved him the trouble and got out of bed. Our idyll was over, trashed by reality once more. I grumbled through my teeth and put my pants on.
"I have to go clean that shit up. I can only hope nobody saw it."
With one foot in my pants, I grabbed my phone and messaged Héloïse as fast as I could.
Me: I'm coming.
Héloïse: Finally! Where the hell were you? I stayed here all day freaking out and trying to do damage control.
I didn't reply. I didn't want her to know what I'd been up to while she was there dealing with that mess.
Me: We'll need paint.
Héloïse: It's Sunday. All the stores are closed. What about the glass door? The words...they're right on the door too.
"Shit." Those damn words would stay on my building until we could finally reach a professional to clean them up.
Chapter 36
ENZO
Watching Florian practically fly across the room to get dressed was like witnessing a plane crash. His morale dropped while all happiness left his eyes. Terror replaced the joy in his blue stare, filling me with apprehension. He bore the same look as all those years ago when that guy landed his first punch at my face. I had hoped never to see that agony in him again.
When we were ready to leave, I rubbed his back, but he flinched.
"I'm coming with you," I signed.
"You don't need to," he snapped, his tone harsh enough to make me take a step back.
I shook my head. I was going. That wasn't his choice.
It took us but a few seconds to leave his apartment. When we arrived at the location, the sight greeting us was gut-wrenching. The sun hadn't set yet, and the words on Florian's business entrance were impossible to miss.
Florian froze, stared, and blinked, his gaze perusing the lines of hatred on the wall and front door. His eyes welled up, but he raised his chin proudly.
"It's going to be okay," I told him and tried to grab his hand that he yanked away, his reaction subtle but gutting.
Somebody was there already: a woman with a beautiful blow-out, deep anthracite eyes, and dark brown skin. Her tortoiseshell glasses were big, covering half her face. When Florian walked up to her, her shoulders slumped in relief.
She kissed each of his cheeks in greeting. "I've been calling you for hours. Where the hell were you?"
She took in his state before she noticed me. "Oh." She extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Héloïse."
I grabbed it firmly. "Enzo."
Comprehension filled her eyes. She stared at Florian but didn't comment. Her gaze ran over his wild hair that was still messy from me pulling at it during sex.
"I see," she said with a tiny smirk. "No explanation needed. Please make sure you have your phone on next time you guys are getting it on. I was nearing a panic attack here."
"My phone was on," he let out, his tone rising so high, I felt the slap of his words. Florian hadn't heard it ringing because I'd given him the ear muffs.
