by Rowan Shaw
"No, that's the maximum most of my clients are willing to pay for. Money isn't an issue for them, but even they will set a limit to what they spend money on."
"How much is it for an hour?"
"For one person? Three hundred and fifty euros. But they always want me for longer than that. And I charge men more."
His gaze wouldn't leave my face. "Are those rates standard?"
"They are standard for me. Some of my coworkers charge less."
"If some others charge less, why do those clients pick you?"
I gave a lopsided grin hiding none of my pride. "I have a reputation."
"So you get to choose, then?" he asked.
"Not really. My boss makes all the transactions. But like I said, I mostly work with regulars. Sometimes new people, but that's rare."
"So how did you get your reputation?" he asked.
"I had to prove my worth."
"To whom?"
"You're asking too many questions."
"Okay... Which gender do you prefer working for?"
I thought hard about that. "It depends on the client, really. I shouldn't have favorites, but some are better company than others. Overall, I guess I prefer working with women, cis or transgender, and non-binary folks."
"Why?"
"Most men only want me for my dick. Though it's not part of my job description, they usually expect a quick, hard fuck. That's about it. Women want to be courted, and I enjoy the chase. They want someone who will listen to them, take them out, give them a good time. Sometimes it ends with sex, sometimes it doesn't. But when it does, they want someone who will listen to their needs.
"If I get lucky enough to be hired by two women, it usually means they want someone who knows exactly what he's doing, someone who will focus exclusively on them and not on his own fantasies. I do have some male clients who want more than just my cock too, but that's rare."
Men like Noah.
"But why do you charge guys more?"
"If a guy hires me for the night, we usually spend most of that time fucking until we can't anymore. That's why I charge them more than women, even if he's a guy who hates penetration, be it topping or bottoming. I can't assume he's not into anal. When I started, I made the mistake of charging them the same, but after a few guys insisted upon railing my ass multiple times in one night, I decided they should pay the rate accordingly. I can't work for a couple of days if I'm sore all over."
Raphaël stared at me. "If they only want you for an hour, do you meet multiple clients in one night?"
"Again, they usually book me for more than an hour. But it has happened, yes."
"What about if you want to date someone? In your personal life?"
"I don't," I deadpanned.
"You don't, or you won't?"
"Same thing."
"Why not?"
"I don't fuck people unless they pay me to do so." Breaking that rule with Kevin had bitten me in the ass big time. I was never doing that again.
"So you've never fallen in love?" Raphaël asked.
I didn't want to go there tonight, so I simply replied, "Once. Have you?"
He shook his head. "Not yet, but someday, I guess."
"So you've only had hook-ups, too?" I asked.
"Yes, or friends with benefits."
"Not too different from me, then."
"Except I don't get paid thousands of euros to get laid."
He said it almost sullenly, like he was upset he'd never considered any of that a possibility before.
Chapter 23
RAPHAËL
"So..." I stalled without touching my breakfast the next morning.
Adrien looked at me from across the kitchen table and dipped his brioche in his coffee. His hair was a wild, unwashed mess, and yet, it was impossible not to gawk at him.
I shrugged. "Never mind."
"Raphaël, I've already established you can ask anything you want about my job."
I wasn't sure how he knew I'd meant to ask about that. "Are you sure it's legal?"
He beheld me steadily. "Prostitution is illegal, which is why that's not what I'm offering."
"You're just playing with words, though."
A tiny smirk poked at Adrien's lips when he took a sip of his coffee, both his elbows propped on the table.
"Did you ever get in trouble for it?" I asked.
"The website isn't that easy to find. It has more of a word of mouth reputation. When you look at the site, it doesn't mention sexual activities."
"What if a cop tried to hire you just to trick you?"
"It could happen, but so far, I've been lucky."
"You said you've fallen in love before? So you have dated people in the past?"
"I have. Twice. Both times were huge mistakes."
"Oh."
"The second time, it was a coworker from the company. A client hired us together for one night. My ex was by far the best fuck of my life. We decided to meet on the side after that. Just for fun, you know? We were breaking a company rule, but we couldn't get enough of each other. The sex was like nothing I'd ever experienced. One thing led to another. Next thing we knew, we were dating, and he asked to move in with me. Daniel was furious."
"Daniel? Wait! You don't mean..." I seriously hoped he wasn't talking about that jerk who'd walked in on me and Charlotte.
Adrien bit his lower lip and nodded. "Daniel is my boss, yes. This apartment is part of the deal I have with him. He only rents to guys in the company. That's why he was mad when you moved in. You don't work for him."
"Wow!" I swallowed hard, then bit into a BN chocolate cookie that I'd dipped in my coffee.
Adrien flicked his hand as if it didn't matter. "Don't worry. He won't ask you to work for him. Like I said, the problem is settled. I'm the best employee he has. Without me, his company would lose significant capital. He wouldn't do anything that would make me leave."
I couldn't help but wonder how good of a lover Adrien was that he was so popular. He had faithful clients willing to pay over five thousand euros for the chance to be with him all weekend. He had to be extremely skilled in bed. I blinked and tried not to imagine what a night with him would entail. Of course, the more I tried to think about something else, the more my mind shot right down the gutter.
"Do the other people in this building work for him too?" I asked.
"Just a couple of them. Daniel mostly owns apartments in other parts of the city."
"So you said you dated your coworker?"
"Yes, but Kevin grew jealous. That was a luxury we couldn't afford. No matter how I felt about him, I never let myself get possessive. I understood he had a job to do, and so did I. I was fine with that. Kevin didn't feel the same way."
Adrien drank half his coffee, his eyes flicking toward the window before they reverted back to me. "He grew so jealous, it quickly became impossible between us. He would have fits when I had to spend the night out. He was fine with me meeting women, sort of, but he couldn't stand the thought of me fucking other guys or non-binary people."
"So what did he do?"
"He threw tantrums, begged me to stop working."
"Did he stop working?"
"Not at first. But after a while, he developed some erectile issues when he was on the job. He could have used Viagra, but he refused. The only person he wanted was me. That would have been fine. I didn't mind that he was no longer working. I could afford to support the two of us, but I couldn't afford for myself not to work. He refused to understand that, so I had to break up with him. He left the company. Daniel almost ripped me a new asshole."
"Wow!"
"Yeah. It was rough. I missed Kevin so much, I spiraled down worse than before. I didn't know if I'd be able to pull out of that funk. But my job is everything I have."
It had to mean a lot to him indeed if he was willing to let go of the man he loved to keep working.
"Does Daniel make a lot of money off your work?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Yes."
"Wh
y don't you work solo, then?"
Adrien stared at me for a bit too long, rubbing his mouth. "I can't do that to him."
"Why not? Isn't he exploiting you like a pimp or something?"
His face closed off instantly. "He's not a pimp. I hate that word. Some pimps are sleazebags who go as far as drugging their workers to get them out on the street. I make an average of thirty thousand euros a month, Raphaël. I hardly call that exploitation."
What in the living hell? No wonder he didn't want to leave his job.
"I still don't understand why you can't leave him, though," I insisted.
Adrien breathed deeply, tapping his fingers over the table, his lips thinning. "I just can't. Okay? I make in one month what most people make in an entire year. There's no reason to feel bad for me."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." I raised my hands to calm him down, then changed the topic. "You said dating Kevin meant breaking a company rule. What did you mean by that?"
He fixed his gaze on a pigeon who had landed on the windowsill. "I'm not supposed to fuck people outside of work. That's rule number one."
I blinked at that. "That's ridiculous."
"It's not that ridiculous," he replied, still eyeing the bird outside. "I'm on PrEP, and I get tested a few times a month for HIV or STIs. I'm probably the safest partner my clients could possibly have. But if I start screwing random strangers out there, I increase the risk of catching something I could spread around. Since I have so many regulars, it's just safer to stick to them."
It made sense.
Adrien turned his head back to me. "I'm not allowed to fall in love with a client, of course. That's another rule. Preferably, the client doesn't fall for me either, which is a bit harder to control."
"Has it happened before?"
"I guess you could say that. Some clients don't like to share, but they need to understand it's just a job for me. We spend time together, we fuck, that's it."
"I thought you said some of them were your friends."
"They are...but I'm not their property. They don't own me, and when they start acting like they do, it becomes a problem."
He still hadn't told me why he couldn't work freelance, but he'd seemed so reluctant to discuss the subject that I didn't want to insist.
"As you know, you renting this place is me breaking another rule." He gave a lopsided smile and finished his coffee, observing me from over his bowl.
"Why did you let me rent it, then?"
Adrien wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Because I'm always the one offering company, and there are days when I wish I had company of my own. I guess I needed someone to hang out with who wasn't paying me for it."
I nodded. "That makes sense."
"I've enjoyed having you around. Best decision I've made in years." He beamed at me, flashing his white teeth. "How are things between you and Charlotte? She's really sweet."
"Things are fine. Although, she's met another guy, and she asked me if she could sleep with him."
Adrien scrunched his face. "You accepted?"
"I told you we're just friends with benefits. She can see other guys if she wants."
"Why does it look like it's bugging you, then?"
I bit my lip. He got me there. "I think she likes him...a lot."
"You're worried they'll get serious?"
"I dunno."
"Have they fucked yet?"
"Apparently not."
Adrien ran his tongue over his teeth, watching me so intently it made me uncomfortable. "D'you have class today? I have to run to the store to get some light bulbs. I was wondering if you'd like to join."
"Sure."
With that, he grabbed everything from the table and put it all away while I sat there, still processing everything he'd told me.
Chapter 24
ADRIEN
When Raphael asked me if I'd like to stop at a café after buying the light bulbs, I didn't think before taking him to Céleste's favorite place. It was almost empty. The waitress was new. I ordered an espresso, though I'd already consumed a lot of caffeine today. It couldn't be that good for me, but I had a long day coming up. I was supposed to prepare a romantic date for one of my clients, which always required a lot of research. At least I'd already booked the five star restaurant.
Raphaël ordered a lemonade, and when I didn't say anything for a while, he tapped his fingertips against the table while staring outside at the gray clouds announcing rain. I'd forgotten to bring an umbrella, and we'd walked all the way here. I could only hope it wouldn't be pouring by the time we'd be heading back to the apartment.
I felt bad for never taking the time to ask him about his studies or his thesis, so I figured this was my chance. We chatted for a while about the different workshops included in his courses. Raphaël was researching ecological urbanization, focusing on the best ways to save, conserve, and recycle energy when constructing new buildings.
My mind spaced out, however, when the door opened and Céleste walked in with her girlfriend, Inès. They were holding hands, not hiding that they were going out, and giggling as they sat at a table in the back corner. I narrowed my eyes, wondering what she was doing here. Maybe her classes didn’t start until eleven A.M. and she was skipping study hall?
Raphaël's gaze followed mine. He turned around in his seat to look at her, forcing me to pretend nothing was the matter. He studied her for a bit too long, making me nervous.
"Do you think we should?" Céleste asked Inès, bringing my attention back to them, though I pretended not to be interested. I looked out the window while listening intently, relieved when Raphaël finally stopped staring at them.
"I'm so tired of hiding," Inès replied.
"I don't know how my parents will take it. They're kinda homophobic, you know?"
I froze upon that, trying to listen to their conversation while Raphaël started another monologue about ecology. I wanted to tell him to shut his mouth, but I couldn't be that rude. He didn't know who Céleste was or why her conversation mattered to me.
"What if I tell them, and they won't let you come to my place anymore?" she asked.
Inès hummed through her teeth. "We don't have to tell anyone else if you don't want to, but my parents already know. They were so cool with it too. You need to give your folks some credit. It might go super well, and then we wouldn't have to hide anymore."
I swallowed hard, closing my eyes to try and block out my rising anxiety. I couldn't let Céleste tell her family she was queer. I already knew how that would end. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do. I wanted to stay and listen to their whole conversation, but a part of me couldn't stomach it anymore. I paid for our drinks and stood to leave, unsettling Raphaël, who was still talking about his thesis.
"I was going to get another drink," he protested. "You didn't even give me time to pay."
"Sorry. I just realized I have something to do, and it can't wait," I lied.
When I grabbed my coat, Céleste's eyes met mine. Her face illuminated into a resplendent smile.
"Salut, eh, t'es le gars d'la dernière fois," she called, remembering me.
My heart skipped a beat, my chest squeezing. Fuck!
"Oh yeah, you're the artist," I replied, acting a lot more casual than I felt.
"You didn't bring anything to draw this time?" she asked.
"Nope, just me and my friend."
Her eyes turned toward Raphaël, who was getting his coat on none too happily. I cleared my throat. Here was my one chance to stop her from doing something stupid.
"I couldn't help but hear your conversation. If I may, I think you should wait until you're out of your home and safe to come out to your family."
Céleste puckered her brow, sizing me up. "And how, exactly, would you know that, being a straight man and all?"
"Whoever said I was straight?"
Why the fuck did everyone think I was straight? It frustrated the shit out of me.
"I'm not going to wait
another two years to come out. I feel like I'm suffocating here," she said.
My heart raced so fast, it was getting hard to breathe. "Please wait till you're eighteen. Trust me, I'm speaking from personal experience. There's no rush. It's better to wait."
She rolled her eyes at me and glanced at Inès. I knew the look all too well. It was the stubborn and resolute stare teenagers bore when they'd decided an adult's bullshit wasn't worth a damn. I wanted to add something, but she was ignoring me at this point.
Upset, I shook my head and made my way out without checking if Raphaël was following me.
Chapter 25
RAPHAËL
"Do you know that girl in the café?" I asked, trotting behind Adrien to catch up with his fast strides.
"No."
"Why do you look so disgruntled, then?"
Adrien's voice rose in the cold wind blowing past us. "I just hate how pressured young people feel into coming out. They want to be visible, I get it, and some people in the community are pushing for that. But it's not young teens' job to make us more visible. They need to keep safe until they can finally leave home."
"Are you sure that's all?"
"What do you mean? This young girl wants to come out and put herself in a bad situation. Isn't that enough to get upset over?"
"You don't know her parents. They may be cool with queers in general."
"Trust me, they're not."
I stared at him, thinking about the girl and how familiar she'd looked. I couldn't pinpoint the reason why at the time, but now that Adrien was upset, I could see the same fire in his eyes that I'd seen in hers when she'd snapped at him.
"Is she related to you?" I asked.
"What? Of course not," he dismissed my words, laughing at me.
"Who is she?"
"I just told you I don't know her."
"Maybe, but I don't believe you." I hurried by his side while he kept walking fast.
"Believe whatever you want."
I grabbed his wrist to stop him and force him to look at me while I held the front of my coat to keep the cold out.
"What's going on?" I asked as Adrien blew on his fists to warm up his fingers.
"Nothing," he sighed.
"You're upset. More upset than you should be over some stranger's life." I had to speak loudly over the street traffic and some tourists squealing next to us while taking pictures of the Tour Montparnasse.
