Cassidy willed strength into her body. She would stand tall and face this man. His lie—believing he was dead—had forced her to become resilient, tough and independent. Now he would have to deal with what he had done.
She lifted her chin. “You left me alone.”
“For your own good.”
“How could you?”
“Cassidy.” He put his hands up defensively. “Please, just hear me out.”
“You missed almost five years of your daughter’s life.” There. Now he knew. It wasn’t how she had wanted to confirm his suspicion but she couldn’t take it back now.
His gaze dropped to the toes of his shoes as if the brown leather encasing them was the most interesting thing he had ever seen. His hunched shoulders did nothing to stem her anger, though in any other situation they would have caused her ready compassion to spring forward. She waited for him to say something more, to explain himself. To offer some reason that might suddenly make what he had done okay.
As if anything could.
He glanced up, his gaze latching onto her face as if she was a lighthouse and he was a ship tossed in a storm. “I didn’t know. If only I’d known.”
Cassidy balled up her hands.
She would not feel bad for him. She would not pity this man who had misused and discarded her as if she had meant nothing.
As if she had not mattered.
Surely if he had loved her at all, he wouldn’t have faked his death. He wouldn’t have let her cry and mourn and grieve for him.
“Why?” she whispered. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “Why did you do it?”
Wade licked his lips. His hand shook right before he shoved it into his hair. “I thought... It was for the best, I promise. I did it for you.”
Cassidy reeled back. “Don’t you dare pin what you did on me. Not this. Not what you put them through.” She pointed at the house. At the place where Shannon and their mother had wept for months over him. At the home Rhett had left after he and his father had fought about who was to blame for Wade’s death. The entire Jarrett family lost their way for a while after they thought Wade had died.
Cassidy had almost lost herself in grief too.
She jammed her fingers against her chest. “Not after what you put me through.”
“Cass, hey.” He gently took hold of her arm as he stepped nearer. “I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have—I’m making a complete mess of this. Of everything.”
She yanked her arm away from him. “Don’t you ever say you did it for me again, understand? You clearly did it for you and you alone, Wade. So you need to own what you did to everyone.”
His eyes widened. “That’s not what I meant. Let me ex—”
She held up a hand. Moments ago, she had wanted answers, but she no longer wanted to hear whatever lie he was trying to spin to shirk the blame.
He had never loved her. She hadn’t known until this second, but there it was. For the past five years, she had mourned a man who she had thought had been devoted to her. Who had struggled in life but loved her fiercely.
But Wade hadn’t.
He had left.
Turned and never thought of her again.
Cassidy closed her eyes as she gritted out, “Did you or did you not fake your death?”
“It’s not that simple.”
Oh, but it was.
Cassidy blinked away tears as she opened her eyes and lifted her chin. “Tell me, Wade. Were you held captive for the last five years? Hit your head and suffered from amnesia?” She already knew the answer, but he needed to understand what he had put his family through. He needed to see that he couldn’t just explain away the kind of pain he had inflicted. Comprehend how ridiculous any explanation he had to offer would be.
“Was there some tragic reason you were unable to access a phone or computer or carrier pigeon to send a message? No kindling for a smoke signal to tell us you were alive?” Her voice trembled, but she held steady. “Or was not telling us—not reaching out—a deliberate choice on your part?”
“Cass, please.” He held his hands out to her, palms up.
“It’s a simple yes or no answer, Wade. No need for long explanations. The phone number and address are the same, so that couldn’t have been the issue.”
“There’s a lot more to it than that.”
“Just answer me.” She ground out the words.
Wade sighed, defeated. “I didn’t reach out. It was a choice. I already told you that.”
“Then I don’t need to hear anything else,” she said.
And meant it.
He had chosen to let them hurt. To let her heart crumble to dust at the loss of him. To destroy his family. He had allowed them to believe and make decisions based on lies.
Nothing could make any of those things go away. Nothing ever would.
At one time in her life, she had fiercely loved this man. Loved the way his calloused fingers brushed the back of her neck or traced her arm right before his lips found hers. Loved the intensity in his eyes whenever they locked onto her face. Loved the caress in his voice whenever they talked together.
For her, their love had been a consuming force. Something that had shoved the rest of the world away. Something that had saved her from the suffocating pressure her parents had stacked on Cassidy her whole life.
Wade Jarrett had once been her everything, and it had been both wonderful and dangerous in turns.
But Cassidy Danvers had grown up. In the past five years, she had built a life where Wade didn’t exist. One where her happiness and success didn’t depend on him.
And it was a good life. A life she loved. A life in which she didn’t need him at all.
“Please,” he whispered.
She didn’t know the man standing in front of her. Not anymore.
He was nothing more than a stranger.
One she didn’t care to know.
* * *
Wade glanced around inside of the small white chapel as his oldest brother unceremoniously propelled him through the building’s front door. A large brown dog with yellow eyes followed close on their heels. Minutes into Wade’s conversation with Cassidy, Rhett had charged out of the big house and wrenched Wade away. Not that Wade had fought him at all. He was ready for this. For hard talks.
But he hadn’t expected to ever see Cassidy again.
Wade ran his fingers nervously over the lump on his throat. Was it getting bigger? The nurses had told him it wasn’t noticeable, but it’s all he saw whenever he looked in the mirror. The doctor in Florida had told him he had time to settle on a medical team that fit his needs. But the doctor hadn’t specified how much time exactly. Weeks? Days?
He was a father.
A father.
He had missed five years of his child’s life.
His hand went to his throat again. If something happened before he got to know his daughter... If...
He couldn’t think that way.
Wade ducked under the pull rope hanging from the bell tower as Rhett guided him forward.
“You can let go. I’m not going to disappear.” Wade put his hands up in surrender.
“Given your history, that’s debatable.” Rhett’s voice was a gruff rumble but a raw edge of emotion was evident too. Wade hadn’t gotten to say a word to Rhett before Cassidy told his brother that he had faked his death. Had left them on purpose.
She was right. Painfully so. But there was more to it.
The door rattled as it closed behind them. Farther in, Wade stumbled into the colored light spilling through the intricate stained glass windows lining both sides of the chapel. Wade caught himself on the back of a pew and then wheeled around to face his brother.
It was time to face them all.
Face what he had done.
Own his consequences.
He had thought he was ready but after seeing Cassidy, Wade wasn’t so certain anymore.
From the news articles he had read online, Wade knew Rhett was now the owner of Red Dog Ranch. One link he found said their father had willed the ranch entirely to Rhett, naming no other heirs. Figures. As the eldest son, Rhett had been painted in the never-do-wrong light early on in Wade’s life. All the Jarretts had played their roles, actually. Rhett as the beloved eldest, Boone as the book-smart son with straight A’s and Shannon as the lively, optimistic only girl of the family. The baby girl everyone doted on. Where had that left Wade? Out in the cold, that’s where. The only role left had been the rebel, the disappointment.
A role he had filled all too well.
The large dog had seated itself in front of Rhett as if it was his brother’s bodyguard. The dog’s eyes tracked every movement Wade made, putting him on edge.
“Is that thing going to attack?” He jerked his chin to indicate the dog.
Rhett ran a hand over the dog’s head. “Kodiak’s as gentle as a lamb, unless I tell her to be otherwise.”
Not super reassuring.
Rhett had always been much bigger than him, taller with a wider shoulder span. Slightly intimidating, even when they were kids. None of that had changed in five years. If anything, Rhett was even more impressive now. Rhett’s hat was askew and his chest heaved, but Wade didn’t think it was from the exertion of charging up the hill. Rhett scowled at him, a mask of disapproval that, in Wade’s experience, every older sibling perfected early in life.
Or maybe only Wade’s siblings.
Disappointing people was Wade’s specialty, after all.
A muscle in Rhett’s jaw bunched and popped, then just as quickly Rhett’s face fell.
“First,” Rhett said, and then he crossed the distance between them so quickly Wade had no time to react. No time to block a punch Rhett would have had every right to throw after what Cassidy had revealed. But no hit came. Instead, Rhett yanked Wade into a rib-crunching hug. Wade hesitated for a second before his hands rose slowly to Rhett’s back.
Had his brother ever hugged him before? Not that he remembered.
“You’re alive. Thank God.” His brother’s whisper was rough, breath jagged. “Thank You, Lord, for protecting him. For bringing him home.”
The fact that Rhett was praying shocked Wade even more than his hug. Out of the four Jarrett siblings, Rhett and Wade had been the two who hadn’t immediately followed in their parents’ footsteps when it came to faith. Shannon and Boone had both become Christians in elementary school. A quick search online had even revealed that Boone was in seminary preparing to become a minister, a fact that hadn’t surprised Wade one bit.
But Rhett praying as he embraced him? So much had changed.
Wade buried his face into his brother’s shoulder. “You aren’t angry?”
Rhett let him go. Stepped away and ran his hand over his face. “Oh, I’m livid. You have no idea how much I want to shout at you.” Rhett paced. “But you’re here. Alive. It’s a gift. God’s given us yet another gift and I see that and I’m grateful.” He stopped and stared at Wade. “I can’t believe you’re alive. And you’re okay?”
Now’s when he should tell Rhett he had cancer.
But the words stayed stuck in his throat, right next to the lump the doctors said needed to come out. If he said it out loud, then he would have to accept it was real. He would have to deal with it and make decisions. He would have to consider what his outcomes might be. All things he had promised himself he would deal with after he returned home—after he made peace. And he would, but not on day one. Wade had only learned about it a week ago. He needed time.
Time.
There was that word again.
How much did he actually have?
Rhett was still staring at him, waiting. Kodiak flopped to the ground and let out a long yawn.
Wade nodded absently and his gaze landed on the window in the front door. He could see Cassidy out there still. She was heading down the hill, her chestnut waves bobbing with each step. Seeing her, he had forgotten to breathe, to think for a minute. He had forgotten his troubles. With her delicate features, deep brown eyes and scattered freckles, she was as beautiful as he remembered. More, in fact. The Cassidy he had left had been a nineteen-year-old girl, still growing and changing. Today’s Cassidy possessed the curves and maturity of womanhood and her fierce expression had made his mouth go dry.
Despite her initial shock, she had been confident and commanding, and he had never stopped loving her.
Never would.
He had disappeared so she could have a better life. One without the destructive person he used to be. He would have done anything for her. He had. And none of that had changed.
Good thing she was clearly done with any idea of him, because when she had first hugged him... If she had kept that up, it would have been very difficult to keep her at arm’s length emotionally. But that’s what he had to do. Wade had to focus on healing the hurt he had caused his family and focus on trying to beat his suspected thyroid cancer and both of those things were enough for any man. He wouldn’t offer his heart to Cassidy, not broken and sick as he was.
If her reaction was any indication, she would never want it again, anyway.
“Cassidy’s here.” Wade dropped down into one of the seats. He had imagined seeing his mom and most of his siblings, but whenever he had let his mind wander to the girlfriend he had left behind—which it often had—he had told himself that she was married by now or had moved on, far away from anywhere he would ever be. But here at Red Dog Ranch? The thought had never occurred to him.
Rhett crossed his arms. “Of course she’s here.”
Wade pressed his palms together, looked down, then looked up at the ceiling. “I have a kid, Rhett.” Guilt burned a hot trail down his ribs. “A daughter.”
“And she’s a really great kid, at that.” Rhett leaned against the pew a few feet away on the opposite end of the aisle. “But you had no part in raising her to be that way. Why not, Wade? I’m having a really hard time coming up with any positive reason you could have had for faking your death, but I’m all ears.”
His reasons wouldn’t appease his big brother. Besides, right now Wade was far more focused on the fact that he had a child.
“I didn’t know.” He would not have gone if he had known Cassidy was pregnant. Of that he was sure. “I give you my word, Rhett. I didn’t know.”
Rhett’s eyebrows went up. “Whether or not you knew doesn’t matter. You deserted her.” He said the words slowly, deliberately. “You opted to step out of our lives for five years and by doing so, you missed a lot. You can’t ever get those years back. And you sure don’t get to stroll in here and pretend like they didn’t happen. You don’t get to be proud of Piper when you had nothing to do with raising her.”
When Wade decided to return, he had known he would face roadblocks and consequences. He had guessed that it would take a long time to regain his family’s faith—if he was ever able to. He owned the fact that his actions had caused damage. Wade had returned because he was ready to do something about it and if he was being honest, he had also returned because he was scared and he needed his family.
But he hadn’t known the depth of what his recklessness had cost him.
Wade was a dad.
He had a child. A family of his own.
Whatever it took, he was ready and willing to prove that he wasn’t the same man who had walked away from them.
He hadn’t been there for Cassidy when she had been the one he was trying to help by leaving. She had needed him.
Although, maybe she hadn’t. Maybe no one needed Wade Jarrett.
He dropped his head and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. “This is so much worse than I thought. And that’s saying a lot.”<
br />
“We thought you drowned. They located the boat you were on. It capsized, Wade.” Rhett pushed off the pew to stand to his full height. “Was that all for show?”
“The storm came out of nowhere. Everyone had been drinking.” Ashamed of his old lifestyle, Wade looked away from his brother’s heavy gaze. His eyes landed on the cross hanging on the front wall of the chapel. The sight of it caused the tightness in his chest to ease. No matter what happened or how his family reacted, God had forgiven him. Wade knew that with as much certainty as he knew he was breathing. God had welcomed him home, into His family...even if Wade’s flesh and blood never fully did.
The only reason Wade had made it that night was because he had been appointed captain for the evening, so he hadn’t drunk as much as the rest of the party. As his buddies all drowned in the Gulf of Mexico, he had hung on to a piece of wreckage. He had tried to save them, tried to reach them, but the storm had produced gigantic waves and they had been out of sight within seconds.
“A group on a yacht pulled me out of the ocean. They saved my life. That’s where I’ve been this whole time.” He finally made eye contact with his brother. “In the Gulf. I’ve been working as a deckhand for cash and places to sleep.” Working on luxury charter boats was hard work and long hours that many people didn’t want to do. It hadn’t been difficult to find crews willing to take him on. As long as he kept his mouth shut, did whatever the guests asked and put in fourteen-hour days without complaint, they had been happy to keep him on board.
“After all that, why now?” Rhett frowned. “Why are you here?”
Because some of the best thyroid surgeons are only hours away in Houston.
Because I’m scared and I need my family.
Wade swallowed hard.
“Whenever we docked, I tried to catch up on stateside news.” Most of his last five years had been spent offshore in the Caribbean. The sights had been amazing, but after the first year he had missed the mainland. “I read about the tornado. There were articles about Red Dog Ranch. About a fund-raiser to help offset the destruction.”
“Macy’s doing.” Warmth flooded Rhett’s words. “We’re engaged, by the way. Wedding’s set for the end of the month. Nothing fancy, mind you. We’d like it to be just family.”
His Unexpected Return--A Fresh-Start Family Romance Page 2
