Cassidy sent him her best don’t-mess-with-me-I’m-a-mom look. “You either open up this hand or I’ll pry your fingers open. It’s up to you how this goes down but I win either way.”
Wade flinched as his fingers unfurled. A large blister on his palm oozed a shiny liquid. Without a word, Cassidy let go of him and started packing everything back in the basket.
“What are you doing?” Wade’s brow bunched.
“Come on.” She jerked her chin. “Up to my office.” She held up a finger. “This isn’t a discussion. Unless you want me to call Rhett out here—and you know he’ll give you a piece of his mind and then some if he sees your hands like this—you’ll follow me.” Cassidy started up the hill.
Wade chuckled and followed after her. “Yes, ma’am.”
She led Wade into her office, where she scooped up all the papers on her desk and set them in a pile on top of her file cabinet. Cassidy pulled the food out of the basket again and motioned for him to take the comfortable desk chair. Wade required zero encouragement to dig in. He had tucked through most of the food in the time it took her to find her first aid supplies. She would have to remember to move them to a more accessible spot for the future.
Wade glanced around as he finished the second brownie. “What do you do in here?”
She shrugged. “Menu planning, research nutritional information or recipes when we have people with different dietary needs. And mundane things too—like ordering supplies, updating the spreadsheet with best-by dates, managing the kitchen staff when we have enough people to warrant one. Schedule volunteers for dish crew.”
He looked up at her. “I’m proud of you—of all you’ve accomplished.”
“I cook food.” She blew her hair out of her eyes. “It’s not exactly earth-shattering stuff.”
“Well, for starters, you cook amazing food. This—” he pointed at his empty plate “—was the best food I’ve had in months. You beat out the chefs on most of the luxury boats I worked on.” He got to his feet and loaded everything into the basket again. “But it’s more than that, Cass. You’re more confident than before. You’re more you—or who you were always supposed to be—if that makes any sense.”
How dare he talk like that, as if he knew her, as if he cared. As if he saw her truly, better than anyone else ever had.
He trailed her as she made her way to a sink located near the food-prep area. A sign marked the sink for hand-washing only. There were others meant for food. Cassidy eased the basket from his grasp and set it on the counter. Then she took his hands and placed them under a stream of running water.
“Rinse. Wash well with the soap.” She opened a drawer and drew out a clean towel. “Then we’ll blot them dry.”
Wade obeyed her instructions. He used his elbow to turn the water off and then stepped her way, his hands cocked at a ninety-degree angle as water dripped down his forearms. He looked like some doctor in a TV drama scrubbing in for surgery. She suppressed a smile at the thought.
Cassidy hopped onto the counter and reached for one of his hands. She gently pressed the towel against it, making sure not to rub or scrape the blisters.
“Thank you,” he said. “For everything.”
She blew hair out of her face again, then stilled when his finger traced along her cheek, up over her ear. A featherlight touch as he tucked her hair away for her. The trail where his finger had grazed flamed with sensation.
She tugged his hand away from her cheek, setting both of them palm up on her knees so she could disinfect the area with alcohol wipes. Plenty of the blisters had popped, leaving his healing skin open to infection.
His eyes stayed on her face as she worked. “Cass?” He waited until she met his gaze. “I’m sorry. If I could take back everything, I would.” He swallowed a few times.
She looked away. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re alive.”
He smiled fully for the first time since he had been back. His eyes crinkled at the corners. “It’s worth a whole lot. I was starting to think you liked me better when I was dead,” he said.
She turned her attention to the first aid kit and found a tube of antibiotic cream. Cupping one of his hands in hers, she blew on the skin, making sure the alcohol was done doing its job before she applied the cream.
Wade licked his lips.
“When I thought you were dead, I almost lost myself.” She was bent over his hand and forced herself to focus on what she was doing instead of his face, which hovered inches from hers. “I almost went off the deep end,” she admitted in a small voice.
“Cassidy.” Three precious syllables.
“The world’s a better place when I know you’re still breathing in it,” she said.
He sucked in a sharp breath. “Can you ever forgive me?”
She took a minute to answer him.
“You know, just a month ago I was railing at Rhett about forgiveness. Serves me right. I believe in second chances, Wade. I always have.” She lifted his other hand and lightly touched the skin before applying some of the antibiotic ointment. “But no one has ever hurt me like you did. What happened... I need time. I can’t just...” She shrugged.
His head dipped. “I understand.”
Next, she found the gauze. She started to spool it around his hand to form a loose bandage.
He let her wrap his second hand. “Did you know before I left? About being pregnant, I mean.”
Her breath hitched at his question.
Cassidy tried to focus on the feel of the gauze in her hand, but she could only feel the warmth of him inches away. Smell a mixture of sweat and ocean and crisp nightfall that belonged to Wade and Wade alone. His presence was undeniable.
Always had been.
“I knew.”
“We were fighting so much for a few weeks before the trip...” Wade’s words trailed off but his question was evident. How long? How long had she known? How long had she kept it from him?
Cassidy didn’t owe him an answer. She wasn’t the one who had run off. Not telling him right away had been wise. Wade had been impulsive and had always fought whatever he deemed to be a constraint: his family’s expectations, the rules at school and anything else looking to tie him down or peg him. When they were young, she and Wade had dreamed about packing up a car after high school and setting off on the road with no plans or set locations in mind. Only to travel, only to be together.
After such a strict upbringing, Wade’s carefree approach to life had been incredibly attractive to Cassidy.
But a baby wouldn’t have fit into Wade’s version of their perfect future.
Just like it hadn’t fit into her parents’ ideal version of who Cassidy was supposed to become.
She tucked the end of the gauze under another strand and tied it off. Then she let go of him and busied herself with repacking the first aid kit. “I found out a little over a month before your trip.”
“A month.” His voice was hollow. It held no trace of accusation but was tinged with clear-cut hurt. “And you didn’t say something?”
“I was working up to it.”
Wade leaned against a kitchen island a few feet away. “That’s why you begged me not to go.”
She dipped her chin in a nod. “I kept waiting to see if you would choose me, choose to be responsible. And I was afraid.”
Afraid he wouldn’t choose her if given the option. Afraid he would leave her alone.
Just like he had.
“Everyone tells me she’s a great kid.” Wade’s voice sounded far away. “You’re so strong, Cass, raising her on your own and raising her so well. You’re ten times the person I could ever hope to be.”
“I’ve had a lot of help.” Cassidy slid off the counter so she could tug the note from her pocket. “Speaking of, this is for you.”
Wade accepted the note and looked down at it. He let out
a shuddering breath and pressed his hand over his eyes for a few heartbeats. A tremor went through his shoulders. Cassidy’s heart twisted at the sight. Wade had always felt emotions strongly; it was one of the things she had loved about him. It took every ounce of her willpower not to close the distance and go to him. To hold him. Offer comfort.
Wade had used Cassidy and rejected her, but he hadn’t committed those sins against Piper. She couldn’t hold a grudge against him for not being in Piper’s life when he hadn’t even known of her existence. He may not have loved Cassidy enough to stay, but given the chance, he might have loved Piper enough to weather anything.
When he finally took his hand from his face, his eyes shone with tears. “Piper loves Dad. Piper loves cats. Have Dad. Need cat.” His voice trembled as he read Piper’s note out loud.
Cassidy’s eyes burned. “I promised her I’d give it to you.”
“Please let me meet her.”
“Do you still—I need to know, Wade. If you still drink and gamble like before, if some brute is going to show up at unexpected times, trying to collect on your debts like they used to then—”
Wade lifted a hand, palm out. “I haven’t been that person in a long time. Clean for almost four years now. From both.”
She narrowed her eyes. Could she trust him? Past actions told her no. But his eyes hadn’t been clouded once in the last week, and Rhett and Shannon had both spent time with him and mentioned he seemed changed. Cassidy could keep putting him off but the truth was Piper was begging to meet her dad. Continuing to find reasons to keep them apart would only end up hurting her daughter.
“Tomorrow,” Cassidy said. “You can meet her tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” He cradled the tiny piece of pink paper as if it were a museum-quality diamond. He dragged the outside of his wrist once over his eyes.
“But I have ground rules.” Cassidy opened a drawer next to the sink and shoved aside dish towels to make room for the first aid kit. “I’m present every time you’re with her. And don’t make her any promises about being a huge part of her life, not yet. Allow me and her the space we need to ease into whatever your being in her life will end up looking like. We all need to be patient about it.”
Wade nodded. “That all sounds fair.”
“Any questions?”
“Just one.” He held out his mummy-wrapped hands. “How am I supposed to function with them covered like this?” he teased. “I smell. I need to take a shower but this doesn’t seem conducive to that.”
Cassidy laughed. She appreciated him turning the conversation toward a lighter topic. He had always possessed the ability to read when she needed to back away from a subject. When they had dated he had known exactly how to find a smile for her, even on the worst days.
Stop.
He left.
He’s not back. Not for me.
He’s nothing to me.
She willed her smile to stay in place. “Showering with bread bags on your hands is all the rage around here.”
His brow bunched. “You know, now that you mention it, I do recall an incident where Shannon fell from a tree when we were racing to the top. We said whoever reached the top first got the last MoonPie. Mom did use a bread bag for her arm whenever she needed a bath.”
Wade trailed Cassidy as she flipped off all the lights and locked up the building. Then they walked down the hill side by side.
“For the record, I did share the MoonPie with her at the hospital even though I won.”
Cassidy slipped her keys into her pocket as she walked. “I’ll never understand your and Shannon’s love for those things.”
“They’re basically a cold s’more. Who doesn’t love s’mores?” He laughed. “Well, besides you, I guess. You still love all the fruit desserts more?”
“Chocolate just isn’t my thing.” She shrugged. She needed to redirect their conversation. Reminiscing about the past and casual mentions of how well they knew each other wasn’t safe for her heart. “Give your hands another half hour and then you’ll probably be fine to take the bandaging off.” Cassidy wrinkled her nose for effect. “You do smell.”
“Good old Texas sweat.” He winked at her.
“Texas sweat?”
“Take normal sweat and times it by forty and you’re about there.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes and parted ways with him on the path, so she could head farther down to the bunkhouse she shared with Piper. She would need to call her friend Jenny tonight to let her know she would be picking Piper up bright and early in the morning.
Piper would meet her dad tomorrow.
And with that, Wade very well might become an active part of Cassidy’s world for the rest of Piper’s growing years. Anxiety rattled around under her rib cage. Cassidy wasn’t ready to deal with what that could look like. With what it meant to have Wade back in her everyday life.
Yet tomorrow would arrive, ready or not.
Chapter Four
“Come here, child.” After breakfast the next morning, Wade’s mom beckoned him toward the chair she was resting in. He had followed Shannon’s initial advice and had waited to see their mom until his second day at Red Dog Ranch. When she had first spotted him, their mother had smiled her gentle smile, held out her hand and said, “Oh, there you are, my sweet boy. I knew you’d be back. Come here and kiss your mother.”
And that had been it. She hadn’t peppered him with questions or admonished him. She hadn’t given him the stern talking-to he deserved.
As he hugged her, she had whispered, “Welcome home.” And despite Shannon’s and Rhett’s hugs the day before, it was the first time he had actually felt like he wasn’t an intruder on Jarrett property. It was the first time he believed that maybe, just maybe, Red Dog Ranch could be his home.
Maybe one day for the first time in his life, he would fit here.
The Jarretts’ ranch house boasted an expansive downstairs with an open floor plan. The wide kitchen flowed right into the living room his mother often inhabited during the day. A two-story floor-to-ceiling wall of windows in the room allowed sunlight to bathe the whole lower level. In the days since Wade had returned, he had come upon his mom in different states of lucidity. Sometimes she asked him to find his dead father for her. Other times, thinking he was still a teenager, she asked him why he was home from school during the day. But often enough her eyes were clear and she greeted him with joy.
So far, today was a good day.
His mom’s nurse sat at the kitchen table, organizing his mom’s pills for the week, and gave him a nod as he walked past her. Rhett had explained that after their father passed away, they had hired a nurse to be at the house during the daytime hours and were considering hiring a nurse to be with her at night as well. Two nights so far this week, she had woken Wade up by prowling the hallway upstairs, talking loudly about things that didn’t make sense. On both occasions, he had ushered her back to her room and held her hand until she calmed down and fell back to sleep. He had ended up crashing on an uncomfortable high-backed chair near her bed both nights. Rhett’s plan for another nurse made sense.
Wade reached his mother and cupped her outstretched hand between both of his. She had always been petite, but now she felt frail—so breakable and precious. His gut twisted. She wasn’t even old yet. It seemed cruel that she would start to lose herself at only sixty-six.
Five years ago, she had been fit enough to muck stalls every morning and had still ridden in some of the local shows. It tore at him to see her wasting away like she was.
“Do you want me to help you outside?”
She batted her hand. “It’s too hot out there. I like it in here with my view and all my pictures.” She gestured toward a wide side table that held at least thirty framed pictures. He spotted a handful of himself as a teenager among them.
Wade stooped to drop a kiss onto her forehead. �
�How are you?”
She slid her free hand to wrap across the back of his neck and held him at eye level. “I’m the same as always. Here and old. The real question is, how are you? That’s what I want to know.” She let her hand drop away but he stayed nearby, lowering to his knees beside her chair.
“Honestly?” He shot out a long stream of breath. “It’s strange being back. I don’t think Shannon or Rhett are very happy that I’m here.” He gazed out the window. They had been kind the first day but had kept their distance since.
Cassidy certainly wasn’t happy he was back. She tried to hide it, but every time they interacted, he could read her nerves as if she was shouting about them. But bringing up Cassidy with his mom would do no one any good. His mom had a matchmaking and meddling streak that knew no bounds. She would try to push the two of them together again and he didn’t want to get into all the reasons why he was presently undateable.
Not that Cassidy would want him even if he was dateable.
“So your siblings need some time. Can you blame them? Don’t tell me that’s why you’re punishing yourself.” His mom glided her hand out from between his, only to grasp his wrist and flip his hand over. She traced a finger along the bruises and blisters dotting his palm. “To prove something to them?”
“I’m not—”
She tightened her hold on his wrist when he tried to pull his hand away. “Or is it that you’re bent on proving something to yourself?”
“Ma, that’s not—”
“Because that’s not how these things work, child.” She finally let him go. He closed his fingers, covering the evidence of the thirteen-hour days he’d been putting in. “Blood and sweat payments may be how things work in the world’s economy but with God, that’s not how things are done. You don’t prove you’re enough by running yourself ragged. You don’t have to punish yourself. In fact, you don’t have to prove anything. Proving is a by-product of pride, after all.”
“Come on, Mom. After what I did, I deserve a fair share of punishing, don’t I?” He said it as a joke, hoping to lighten the conversation. It was a common habit he had when any talk entered into deep waters. But his mom had never let him get away with redirecting a conversation. Despite her small stature, she had always been the parent who made sure what she had to say was heard and taken seriously.
His Unexpected Return--A Fresh-Start Family Romance Page 5
