by Barb Han
It didn’t help that Jordan Kent had a reputation for sticking around for no one without the last name of Kent or McWilliams. He’d never been the relationship type—not that he was offering anything permanent to her. Granted, he’d made it clear that he’d be there for his child. She’d never doubted him for a second on that front. And there were so many other reasons rolling around inside her head that made her fear they would end up disliking each other if she stuck around long enough. For one, the two of them were from different worlds, different sides of the track and different backgrounds. Those differences were bound to cause arguments and drive a wedge between them. It was only a matter of time before he realized it, too.
But this wasn’t the right time to bring any of that up.
“I think it’s the case dredging up stress. That and the pregnancy,” she admitted.
He nodded and stared intently at a patch of wall across the room.
“Thanks for coming in and checking on me,” she said, trying to soften her reaction.
He must’ve taken it as a dismissal, because he pushed off the bed and crossed the room. She was speechless as she watched him prepare to walk out. She struggled to string together a sentence. Her heart pounded against her ribs, and all her warning flares fired at the same time. “Stay with me. Please. I don’t really want to be alone right now.”
“Have you spoken to anyone about the night terrors?” He stopped but didn’t turn around.
“No. But I planned to,” she said a little too quickly. It sounded desperate even to her. “I know what you said before in the cabin, and I heard you—”
“Save it.” The disappointment in his voice was a knife to the chest.
She expected him to walk right out the door. Instead, he turned around and came back to bed. He sat on the edge with his back to her, silent.
A torrent of words came to mind, but Courtney knew better than to open the floodgates. So she sat there, too. Quiet. Waiting. Hoping?
A minute passed, maybe two. Courtney shut her eyes and massaged her temples, but her hands were still shaking too badly to manage it for long. She brought her hands down to her lap.
Jordan eased beside her and stretched out his long legs. He had on jeans and no shirt, like she’d seen him do the week in the cabin. Her body trembled, and the quake started slowly.
“Courtney, are you okay?” There was concern in his voice—a voice that was bringing her back from the brink. Fall into the abyss and she’d be no use to anyone for days. The darkness threatened to suck her under, and her insides felt like she was paddling madly to keep her head above water. It also felt like there was an anchor tied around her ankle that was tugging her toward the ocean floor.
“Yes,” she managed to get out on a burst of air. She flexed and released her fingers, needing to feel something besides the sensation of drowning. Panic was building from deep in her bones. Her muscles tensed, and there was a kink in her left shoulder that no amount of yoga stretching could ease.
“Hey, you don’t sound...” His lips were still moving, but a ringing noise in her ears drowned out everything else in the room.
At this point, thinking would do her no good. She needed something to ground her, to root her back in reality and crack the concrete hardening around her brain causing her to go into fight, flight or freeze mode without being provoked. There was something stirring in the pit of her stomach. Her nervous system was on autopilot, which also meant heightened alert.
She blinked, trying to slow the kaleidoscope of images—images that had haunted her for the past year like a stalker in a dark alley. The world felt like it had tipped on its axis, spinning out of control. Instinct had her trying to grab hold of something, anything to keep her grounded.
Without thinking, she climbed onto Jordan’s lap and kissed him. She pressed her lips to his and tunneled her fingers into his dark, curly mane. At first, his body tensed, but it didn’t take much cajoling to get him to kiss her back. She parted her lips for him, and he slid his tongue in her mouth. He tasted like peppermint toothpaste and coffee, her favorite two things combined. A wall of memories crashed down around her with his clean, masculine scent filling her senses every time she took a breath.
An ache from deep within sprang up, catching her off guard. She’d missed the sex, and part of her could admit to how badly she’d missed Jordan, even though she tried to convince herself that she’d confused him with the feeling of home. He represented home to her. But the side to her that didn’t accept nonsense called her out on it. She missed Jordan. She missed the feel of his arms around her. She missed the way he tasted, and she missed their conversations that ran too late into the night. Seeing the sunrise and laughing about being up all night had never held so much appeal as when she’d been with him.
For a little while, her demons receded, and she felt normal again. The nightmares didn’t stop completely, but they were better that week. He tried to get her to talk about them, and she’d gotten so used to dodging the subject. When she saw the hurt in his eyes, she put up the walls.
Jordan’s hands looped around her waist as the kiss intensified. All other thoughts drifted into background noise in her head. Everything calmed, and she was consumed by the need to kiss him harder.
And then he picked her up and sat her next to him.
* * *
JORDAN HAD ALMOST taken another trip down the rabbit hole with Courtney. He wasn’t sure when he’d developed this strong of a conscience when it came to turning down mind-blowing consensual sex, but somewhere along the line he’d picked one up. Damned if he knew where or why. The timing couldn’t have been worse, because Courtney was smart, beautiful and beyond sexy.
Both of them sat on the bed, breathing hot and heavy. He cursed himself more than once for slowing down that runaway train, but he knew that sex would only confuse the issues between them. And his bruised ego wanted her to want him and not just another round of casual sex.
As he sat there next to one of the most beautiful women he knew, he realized he’d be cursing that niggle of conscience for days. There it was. He’d stopped something from happening that he’d wanted ever since he left the cabin. He couldn’t take his actions back now, either.
So he apologized instead.
“Why are you sorry?” She sounded offended.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you while you’re vulnerable,” he said.
“Pregnancy hasn’t made me weak—”
“I wasn’t talking about that. You had one of your nightmares.” She’d refused to talk about them before, and he figured this time would be no different.
He glanced over in time to see her staring at the wall. She repositioned to where her back was against the headboard again and pulled the covers up. “They started after...”
Jordan took her hand in his. Hers was shaking.
“What happened in Dallas shook me up. I lost friends who were like family that day.” This was the most she’d said so far. She’d refused to talk about the incident while at the cabin.
“That would be hard for anyone.” She was strong and needed to hear confirmation.
“The department offered counseling.” She blew out a breath. “Offered is putting it lightly. My job depended on me attending sessions.”
“Did it help?” he asked.
“I said what I had to in order to get my file rubber-stamped so I could get back to work.” She pulled her hand away. “I lied and said I was okay. That I’d had a few bad dreams but was getting better.”
“The counselor believed you?”
“My job depended on it.” She shrugged. “I was pretty convincing. Cops always joke about what we’d say if the time came, so I had a few lines rehearsed. I did a little research, and it wasn’t hard to figure out what he wanted to hear. I mean, how stupid does the department think a cop is? Say the wrong thing and bye-bye pension. Everything in the
session goes into our permanent work file. No one who needs a job is going to be completely honest in a situation like that. We can’t afford to be. It could ruin our careers.”
He understood the logic and figured it was pretty common among law enforcement officers and military personnel. The upside to this conversation was that she was opening up to him a little. This was a start toward building a bridge of trust between the two of them. Jordan would take any progress he could get. Walking away from his child would never be a consideration. He needed to forge a relationship with Courtney for the sake of their child.
“How about private counseling?” He knew he’d made a mistake in asking the second she recoiled.
“Thanks for checking on me, Jordan. I had a moment, but I promise I’m feeling better now.” Her tone left no room for doubt that she’d put up the walls between them again.
He needed to choose his next words carefully. “Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying to insult you by asking the question—”
“I never said you were.” She stretched and yawned, and he could tell it was fake.
“Courtney,” he started, but the right words didn’t come. The last thing he wanted was to make the situation worse.
She rolled onto her side, facing away from him.
His bruised ego told him to get up and walk out the door. But she hadn’t asked him to leave, so he wondered if she was pushing him away because she didn’t want him around or if she was too scared to talk about what had happened that sent her into this tailspin.
So he laid down beside her and pulled her against him. Her muscles stiffened just enough for him to tell before he could feel her exhale and relax against him. Neither spoke, and that was okay with him.
It didn’t take long for her slow, steady breathing to tell him that she’d drifted off to sleep again. He shouldn’t breathe in the floral scent of her thick red hair. He shouldn’t let that fill his senses.
She was unavailable. He realized that was probably half of the attraction he’d felt toward her early on. He’d never been one to want to stick around the morning after a round of hot sex. He certainly hadn’t been looking for anything more than a few days of the best sex of his life.
There’d been something broken in her that had connected with the broken parts of him. Their connection had gone beyond physical.
But then, he didn’t make a habit of bedding friends from the past. Jordan was all about moving forward, grabbing on to the next goal without time to think about settling in or settling down. And that hadn’t changed just because he’d wanted more than a string of hot nights with Courtney. If anything, he realized just how fine he’d been without being tied down in a relationship when he’d gone back to Idaho and to his work on the family ranch there.
Jordan woke with the sun shining brightly through the window. He didn’t realize that he’d dozed off. He’d gotten too comfortable. All he felt was Courtney’s warm body flush with his. His heart stirred—and that wasn’t the only thing awake and reminding him he was alive and well.
He gently peeled her off him and slid out of the covers as quietly as he could manage. Her steady breathing said she was still asleep. He couldn’t help but notice how peaceful she looked lying there. It pained him to get out of bed, but he wanted to discuss the case with Zach before she woke.
Besides, he reminded himself not to get too cozy with Courtney. His heart couldn’t take getting attached and watching her walk away a second time.
Damn. Where’d that come from?
Jordan freshened up, brushed his teeth and then moved into the kitchen. He located his cell, filled his mug with a fresh cup of coffee and then called Zach.
“Morning,” Zach answered. His cousin sounded like he was running on a couple hours of sleep. The mounting pressure from the anniversary of Breanna’s death that loomed was evident in his tone.
“I know you’re busy, so I’ll get right to the reason I called,” Jordan said after returning the greeting.
“What’s up?” Zach asked.
“I’ve been getting up to speed on the Jacobstown Hacker case. I’d like to pitch in to help in any way I can. I’m home now, and plan to stick around for a while.” Jordan paused a beat.
“Welcome home, cousin.” Zach and Jordan had been close growing up, and his cousin had asked more than once why Jordan didn’t come back to Jacobstown to live.
The town didn’t feel like home, even though this was where he’d been born and bred. “What can I do to help with the investigation?”
“We need as many eyes on as much of Rushing Creek as we can muster,” Zach stated. “No lone wolves, though. I want everyone to buddy up. It’s even better if people go out in teams and take a coordinated approach. If you see or hear anything suspicious, be smart about investigating. We’re making the assumption that the suspect is armed and dangerous. Call me immediately if you think you’ve come across him, no matter where you are and no matter what time of day or night.”
“You can count on it. But it seems less likely that he’d return to Rushing Creek with all the attention he has to know will be there,” Jordan surmised.
“True,” Zach agreed. “Our community presence can deter crime. This guy is opportunistic. The fewer options he has, the better, which is also a reason we’re encouraging everyone to go out in groups as much as possible.”
“Makes sense. Did he kill Breanna prior to bringing her to the scene on the ranch?” Jordan’s suspicions about the kind of person they were dealing with were being confirmed.
“There’s no sign of blood leading up to or away from the crime scene. If he killed Breanna and waited until he was at the creek to use the cutting instrument on her ankle, there wouldn’t be a trail.”
“All we know about the man so far is that he’s moved on to human targets. We also know his left leg or foot is significant,” Zach informed.
“How did you figure that out?” Jordan knew his cousin had already checked out obvious suspects and would’ve sifted through as much evidence as he could find.
“Impressions in the dirt. He puts more weight on his right side, based on the data Deputy Lopez collected. He was able to measure the impressions in the soil from his footprints and noticed a difference in depth.” There was no doubt Zach was one of the best at his job. What if the killer knew Zach? The man could be a volunteer. Jordan had read that killers often volunteered to help in searches when victims went missing. It was a way of keeping tabs on the investigation while being arrogant. Those killers seemed to get a thrill out of being right under law enforcement’s nose.
“Which has to be a large part of the reason everyone keeps circling back to Reggie Barstock. We already know he has an issue with his left foot.” Jordan paused as Zach confirmed. “Is anyone aware of Barstock’s current location?”
“His whereabouts are unknown, but I’ve been getting reports from folks who think they see him every few days and it turns out to be nothing. Courtney reported seeing a younger man with a limp in Bexford. We’ve been watching for his vehicle but haven’t had any hits there,” Zach supplied. “I asked Liesel to notify me if Reggie shows up at the diner, where I last saw him. My deputies have been spreading the word if a barista, gas station attendant or waitress sees Barstock to notify me immediately.”
“What if it’s not Barstock?” The idea had to be considered.
“That’s the problem. If everyone’s looking for a red shoe, the green one slips under the radar.” Zach had just voiced Jordan’s concern. “Gus Stanton is a person of interest—”
“He’s the former truck driver,” Jordan said.
“That’s right. You must’ve heard about him.” Zach didn’t sound surprised, which made Jordan wonder if his cousin knew about the relationship with Courtney.
“He came to mind. I actually ran into Courtney the other day in Bexford,” Jordan informed.
Zach perked up.
“If he makes the trip once a week like most people, the next time he’s at the store, the anniversary will have passed.” Zach’s voice sounded like a headache was working up. “Do you have a description of this guy?”
“That I don’t. Courtney said it was probably nothing, but I figure it can’t hurt to talk about.” He was tossing every idea out in hopes something would stick.
“She was in a bad state yesterday. The food poisoning seemed to have hit her hard. When you saw her, did she look like she was doing any better?”
“Nothing worse than getting a hold of a bad batch of food. Stomach pain is the worst.” Jordan dodged the question. Guilt hit him harder than if he’d been on a motorcycle going a hundred miles an hour and slammed into a brick wall. Going along with her food poisoning story made him feel like a jerk. Jordan needed to get the conversation back on track and away from the landmine that had anything to do with his knowledge of or relationship with Courtney. “What else should I be on the lookout for? Is there a profile on this guy?”
“The only thing I know for certain is that he’ll kill again...” Zach’s voice trailed off at the end.
“There any chance he’s already behind bars for another crime?” Jordan offered.
“It’s possible but highly unlikely with this guy’s skills,” Zach said.
“What if he’s done? What if he built up to killing a person, did it and then decided it was too much or that he’d gone too far?” Jordan tossed a few more ideas out there.
“My fear is that he’s only just whetted his appetite. I believe Breanna was his first murder, and he’s gotten a taste of what it’s like. He might even realize what he did was wrong. But he won’t stop, because he can’t. There’s no question in my mind that he fits the profile of a serial killer. There’s typically a cooling-off period in between murders, but he seems to be working faster. In this case, we don’t have a lot to go on. We don’t know enough to get a clear picture of the guy. You already know about as much as we do. Other than the fact that he fits the personality type to a T, I don’t have much else to tell you.” There was so much frustration in his voice. Zach was a great sheriff and an even better person. It was easy to realize that he’d take this personally.
