by Barb Han
Before she could park, Jordan came outside and stood on the porch. Was this what it had come to on the Kent ranch? The place that had held so much carefree fun in their youth. The family whose hearts were always open to help someone in need was being stalked.
Courtney stepped out of her vehicle. Seeing Jordan standing there on the front porch wearing a button-down shirt, jeans and boots caused her heart to free-fall with no hope of recovery.
He was strikingly handsome. The kind of handsome that took her breath away and released a thousand butterflies in her stomach.
She glanced down at the first step. “This is the spot.”
He confirmed with a nod.
She skipped the first step and then walked the rest. The closer she came to Jordan, the more her heart thundered in her chest. She tried to remind herself that he was just a man, the same man who’d teased her mercilessly when they were kids. He’d called her shrimp-fry for the longest time, and once got so mad at her he told her to go play dot-to-dot with her freckles.
“Thank you for showing up. I wasn’t sure if you would,” was all he said, and the seriousness in his tone sank her stomach to her toes.
* * *
JORDAN HAD WAITED six hours and twenty-seven minutes to say what he needed to Courtney. He’d run over every scenario he could think of in his mind at least twice. He’d thought through every possible argument she could put up. He wasn’t trying to be a jerk and he could see that her life was about to be upended even more so than his. Her career would have to slow to a crawl at least for the duration of the pregnancy.
“You want to talk on the porch?” she asked.
In the porchlight, she was even more beautiful, but he refused to let the fact sway what he had to say. What they were going through was bigger than just her career. Although he regretted the impact it would have. Hell, having a baby was bigger than the two of them. Sacrifices were going to have to be made on both sides if they were going to provide the best possible upbringing for the little sprout inside her.
Jordan realized that he hadn’t reacted well to the news but now that he’d had some time for it to sink in, he would not allow his child to be caught in the middle of two parents who didn’t have their acts together.
The child had nothing to do with that and didn’t deserve to be punished.
“Do you mind coming inside?” he asked.
“I don’t see anyone’s cars. Did I miss everyone?” she asked as she walked past him and through the door he held open for her. The night was cold, and the weather was going to turn even worse before it got better tomorrow.
“No one’s here.”
“Okay.” Courtney took the same seat she had this morning at the granite island figuring he’d explain in a minute.
“Can I get you something to drink?” He’d offer water or milk, but he didn’t want to come off as a jerk because she’d been a die-hard coffee drinker before.
“I’m fine.” She looked him straight in the eye, those glittery browns of hers digging deep inside him. She picked up a pen and started clicking it. “What’s on your mind, Jordan?”
He shouldn’t like the sound of his name rolling off her tongue. He did. The difference between being a man and a hormonal teenager meant he wouldn’t act on the chemistry pinging between them.
Click. Click.
“I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Courtney. And I’m not pretending to know more than you do about what’s best for you or the pregnancy.” He put his hands up, palms out, in the surrender position. “But what I saw today can’t be good for either one of you.”
“Are you finished?” she asked with patience she didn’t normally own as she kept eye contact.
“Not yet. I’d appreciate it if you’d hear me out,” he said.
Click. Click. Click.
“I already told you that I can’t keep lying to my family. We don’t keep secrets from each other, and especially not something this big. And this is huge,” he continued.
She glanced up at him. Her face was unreadable. He signaled that he wasn’t done.
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.
“Because not telling them and tiptoeing around like we did something wrong is worse than any reaction they could have, and besides, what we decide isn’t any of their business anyway,” he stated. “We both know they will support us no matter what. And I understand if you’re afraid to tell anyone too early. They’ll keep the news in the family.”
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.
“Would you put that pen down before you break your fingers clicking it?” He didn’t mean to sound frustrated, but he couldn’t help himself.
She released her grip on the pen, and it crashed against the granite.
“Are you done, Jordan?”
She studied him, and it felt like she could see right through him.
“Yes,” he said.
“Good. Because I’m requesting desk duty tomorrow morning.” She said the words like they were as obvious as the nose on her face. He waited for more of a reaction from her, more of the ire he was used to getting when he was pretty darn certain he’d pushed her buttons.
None came.
He must’ve been standing there with his mouth open, because she issued a grunt and said, “Putting the baby in danger isn’t being responsible. I know I can be stubborn, but I see that now. It’s not just about me any longer. I never intended to do anything to cause problems with the pregnancy. And I realize that I’ve been selfish in asking you not to tell your family about the baby. I trust them to keep the news quiet.”
If his mouth wasn’t agape before, then it sure as hell was now.
“What? I’m not an unreasonable person.” She looked up at him, and her cheeks flamed. “Okay, fine. I can be difficult to deal with, but I see the light now. All this has been a lot to take in, and I heard what you said about talking to a counselor, too. I’m thinking about it.”
“Is that everything?” he asked.
She flinched like she was preparing to be told how wrong she’d been before.
“Courtney, I’m proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help.” It was all he said, all he needed to say.
The next time she looked up at him, her clear brown eyes were watery. “Thank you for saying that, Jordan. That means a lot coming from you.”
“I meant every word. I only wish I’d said it sooner,” he said, dropping his voice down low as an ill-timed well of need stirred deep inside him, catching him off guard.
She pushed off the counter and stood. “If that’s all you wanted to talk about, I’d better go home and skip dinner. It’s been a long day.”
He did his level best to mask his disappointment.
“Least I can do is feed you,” he offered, not wanting to admit just how much he hoped she’d stay a little while longer.
“No, thanks. I’ll figure something out at home.” The wall he’d chipped away at just came back up.
* * *
COURTNEY WOKE THE next morning before her alarm went off and drank a glass of water. A few table crackers went down easy enough and kept her nausea from overwhelming her. She was learning that a greasy fast-food breakfast sandwich first thing in the morning came back up almost as fast as it went down. But table crackers kept things level. She could work with that knowledge.
She’d tossed and turned last night, thinking about the meeting she was scheduled to have with Zach. Telling her boss that she was pregnant six weeks into a new job wasn’t exactly high on her list of great first impressions. And she’d have to face her coworkers with the news soon enough. Anxiety caused her shoulder blades to burn with tension. This was going to be more difficult than she’d imagined—and she’d gone full out with her worst nightmares last night. It was a conversation that had to take place. She didn’t have to look forward to it. The fact
that Zach already suspected the truth provided some measure of comfort.
At least the weather system had moved through the area, and the temperatures were supposed to warm up to the high fifties or low sixties this afternoon.
Courtney cleaned up after her light breakfast and locked up before heading in to work. The drive felt like it took twice as long. And she saw Jordan’s vehicle in the parking lot. Her gaze flew to the driver’s seat, but he wasn’t there, which meant he was already inside.
There were other cars and trucks, too. Volunteers were starting to show up in droves, and the parking lot was brimming over. It was looking like she’d have her work cut out for her on desk duty.
A pang of guilt nipped at her. She hadn’t been completely honest with Jordan last night. A big part of the reason she’d conceded was because of the pregnancy, but she also wanted to make sure she could handle herself out there. A cop with trembling hands who couldn’t remain calm anymore was a recipe for someone getting hurt. She was embarrassed that she hadn’t put her fellow law enforcement officers first. It was a mistake she couldn’t allow herself to make, no matter how much she wanted to stay on the job.
She thought about the card sitting on her computer table. She’d snapped a pic of it before leaving the house this morning. After she spoke to Zach, she’d make the call to the counselor. Baby steps. She could do this if she focused on one step at a time. And then she’d call her old friend Amy.
But first, Zach.
With a sigh, she unbuckled her seat belt and then threw her shoulder into the driver’s side door to open it. She shivered against the cold wind. The bright sun reminded her that it would warm up at some point that day.
Courtney badged into the side entrance. She thought about Gus Stanton, who was most likely still in the jail. Now that he’d tried to harm himself, he would need a psych evaluation. He was most likely awaiting transport to a mental facility for further evaluation.
With another deep breath for fortitude, Courtney knocked on her boss’s door. She expected to see Jordan sitting in one of the club chairs when she opened the door after he called out to her. Her traitorous heart skipped a beat at the disappointment when she realized her boss was alone. Maybe she’d imagined seeing Jordan’s vehicle in the parking lot. It shouldn’t surprise her. His cousin was sheriff and many town residents were volunteering. Maybe she was losing her mind from all the recent stress Then, there was the pregnancy. That last part was most believable. She’d definitely been off the past six weeks.
“Morning, Zach,” she said to her boss when he looked up from the screen he’d been studying.
“Is it?” His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked like he was wearing the same shirt from yesterday.
“Did you go home last night?” She took the chair closest to the door.
“No.”
“I should’ve come in.” She didn’t want him holding the bag.
“You’re still recovering from food poisoning, remember? And it was your day off,” he pointed out.
“It wasn’t food poisoning, Zach. I took a test. It was positive.” She put her hand on her stomach. “Jordan is the father.”
Chapter Twelve
Zach studied Courtney before he responded, and she realized he was searching for a clue from her as to whether this was good news or bad news, or she expected him to be shocked.
“It wasn’t planned, and the timing is awful,” she started.
“Is there ever a good time for your life to change to this degree?” He winked, and she realized she’d been holding her breath. She released the oxygen from her lungs.
“I guess not. But I just started this job—”
“These things happen, Courtney. It’s life, with all of its crazy twists and turns,” he stated with compassion, and she was so grateful for his understanding.
“Looks like there’s a lot I can do around here to support the team.” She referred to riding a desk for the rest of her pregnancy.
“We need every deputy we have right now. The task force can use a seasoned officer on it. You’ll be just as valuable in here as you would be out there.” He bit back a yawn.
“I can start by kicking you out of here so you can grab some shut-eye,” she urged.
“That’s probably a good idea.” The bags under his eyes were no joke.
“Where are we with Gus?” she asked.
“He’ll be transported in another couple of hours. He’s on suicide watch. They’re making arrangements for him at Cedars Bay,” an inpatient facility that had a special wing for housing suspects and the criminally insane. Zach rubbed the scruff on his chin.
“I’m guessing he didn’t give us anything to work with on Breanna’s case.” It was worth mentioning, but she got her expected answer in the form of a head shake. “What does your gut tell you about Gus?”
“He has an enormous amount of guilt over something that he did, which says he’s done something that he’s not proud of. What is it? I have no idea. Do I think he’s our guy? I can’t be certain one way or the other. He’s an emotional mess, but that could be because of his actions, in which case he’s not likely to repeat the crime. He could have slowly unraveled since then.” Zach bit back a yawn. “Pardon me.”
“Thanks for the update. I shouldn’t keep you awake,” she said. “I’m sorry about my problem.”
He locked gazes with her, and his expression morphed to concern. “You’re going to be okay with all this, right?”
She knew he was talking about the pregnancy. “I will be in time. I mean, I can get there, but I’m not there yet. You know what I mean?”
“I think I do.” Zach was a good friend and a great boss.
“Mind if we keep the reason I’m on desk duty between us until I get the all clear from my doctor in a few weeks?” She hoped that wouldn’t be an issue.
“You say what you want when you’re ready. No one will hear a word from me,” he promised, and she believed him. Zach’s word was as good it came.
“Thanks, Zach. You can’t know how much I appreciate that.” His expression said he could come close.
“People do have a way of figuring these things out no matter how quiet we’re being.” He was right about that. People would talk. It was normal for folks to care what happened in each other’s lives in Jacobstown.
“I won’t be able to hide it forever,” she said with a small smile. “Right now, I’m ready to focus on my job.”
“Let me get you set up with a volunteer.” He stood and ushered her through the door and to the hallway. “I have an office set up next door to mine occupied by someone I trust with my life. It’s Jordan, so if you’d rather now work with him this would be a good time to mention it.”
“I promise I have enough on my mind right now not to worry about working with him.” She stopped next to the closed door, stepping aside to let Zach take the lead. He tapped on it a couple of times before opening it.
“Jordan, you’ll be working closely with Courtney,” Zach said.
Courtney’s body stiffened, but she forced her shoulders to relax and her heart rate to calm down from its frantic rhythm. As it was, her heart pounded her chest like an out-of-control hammer.
Jordan glanced up from the notebook he’d been studying in time to acknowledge her with a nod. He stood up out of respect. “Come on in. We can use all the help we can get.”
Normally, Zach would pick up on the undertone in his cousin’s voice, but he didn’t seem to this time. It was probably due to lack of sleep. Nothing usually got past the man.
“I’ll be in my office with the lights out for about the next hour if anyone needs me.” Zach paused a beat as his gaze shifted from Courtney to Jordan. “You two will be okay, right?”
“Of course.” Courtney shooed him away. “No one’s waking you up if I have anything to say about it. We can handle things around here while y
ou catch a nap.”
Zach saluted before returning to his office next door, as promised.
“I’m going to get a cup of coffee,” Jordan said before shutting his notebook on the table in front of him. “You want anything from the break room?”
“No, thanks.”
Courtney wished she would’ve asked him to brief her on what he was working on before he disappeared down the hall. She also didn’t want to think about how badly she wanted a cup of coffee right then and how sick it would make her if she gave in to the craving. She wished she could have decaf, but the smell wafting down the hall from the break room was making her sick. The only time she didn’t get sick around coffee was when she’d kissed Jordan. His breath had the taste of it mixed with peppermint. The kiss stirred a few other senses that she didn’t need to think about.
She walked over to the round table. The space had been set up like a war room. A map of the Kent ranch and surrounding ranches was pinned on a corkboard. There were blue stick pins dotting the landscape, most of them along Rushing Creek. This must be what Jordan was working on. He seemed to be tagging all the places animals had been found. There were yellow stick pins, too. She figured the different colors represented the kind of animal found there. And then there was a lone white stick pin at the location where Breanna had been found. Courtney’s heart squeezed thinking about the tragedy.
Jordan strolled into the room, looking a little too good in his jeans and button-down shirt. She realized he had on the same shirt as last night, too. Had he been here all night?
She glanced behind him to make sure no one followed him. “I’m on desk duty, and I told him about us. I know he’s your family, but it slipped out. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the chance to tell him yourself.”
“It’s not a problem, Courtney. I thought my name might come up.” His low rumble of a voice was even sexier without sleep. She remembered how good it had been at seducing her. She could listen to that man talk all day and never get tired of hearing his voice. This wasn’t the time to let herself get carried away by Jordan Kent or how good he sounded. “How’d he take the news?”
