by C L Wesley
“They are beautiful. Especially the Shelby.” I think I just came in my pants. Cam knows cars.
“Do you go by Cam, Cammy, or just Cameron?” I thought I would take a trick from her play book of fifty questions.
“Cam or Cameron is fine. What about you? Is it always Luca or do you go by Luke sometimes?”
“Just Luca.” I catch a quick glance at her before pulling onto the roadway, smiling as usual. If she is this happy in the situation I put her in, I can’t imagine what she would have been like should I have met her the normal way.
“Hey, where did you go just now?”
“Sorry, thinking of where to take you for lunch. Anything in particular you are hungry for?”
“Actually, is there a good Chinese place we can get take out from nearby?”
“I know a good one. Shall we get some take out and grab a seat by the lake?” I’m picking up on her hesitancy to eat in a restaurant.
“Sure. And by the way, you are not off the hook.”
“Why am I on one?” I try to concentrate on driving.
“I am not buying into your bullshit about where to take me for lunch.”
Dammit when she’s off medications she is very intuitive. “I’ll tell you at lunch.”
Cameron
Luca took me to a small park along the lakeshore. Setting the take out on the table I watched as Luca Morano, Mr. Richie Rich, began eating his five-star lunch of general tso chicken and an iced tea polar pop from the local convenience store which he purchased at my request. I sat across from him and carefully cut my chicken into small pieces so I did not appear to eat like a pig.
“Do you always eat so dainty?” Luca asked as I watched him pop a piece of chicken into his mouth. I smiled at him shaking my head no as I chewed the incredibly small piece I just placed in mine. Reaching across the wooden table he put his hand on top of mine. “Please Cameron, be yourself with me. I know it is a lot to ask, but I need that from you.”
Smiling I stabbed the biggest piece of chicken in my box and shoved it in my mouth. The disgusting move earned me a smile. “Is that better?” I said with a mouth full.
“It’s perfect.” He replied as he shoved half an egg roll in his mouth.
We spent the afternoon in the park talking about the most random things. We would take small walks when I stiffened up and we would sit when I needed a break. Luca was patient and understanding with me, shocking given his intense attitude most of the time. He would offer me his arm or hold my hand and every time I fell, hard. I know it was his upbringing and that he was taught to be chivalrous but temporarily, just for a moment, I fantasized that this is real between us.
Luca kept asking if there was anywhere I wanted to go. There truly wasn’t. I had no money and I was not about to let him pay for everything despite the fact I know he is well off. Plus, being on my feet this much is killing my hip but I will not divulge that information to Luca. He had blown off his day to spend time with me. I knew this because his cell phone pinged at least two dozen times. The last time it dinged I looked down and saw it was a text from Elina. I watched as he swiped the message and hit delete without even reading it. I turned towards the window and smiled.
“What has you smiling?”
Without missing a beat, I replied, “You.” I watched a beautiful smile spread across Luca’s face. “I take it you like that answer?” Feeling my heart pounding, I waited nervously for his response.
“I do.” I finally let out the breath I think I was holding. “Shall we head home and watch Shameless? I believe I owe you a few episodes.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Luca
She doesn’t think I can tell but I know she is hurting. Our last half hour or so in the park I could see it in her eyes. Cameron fell asleep on the way back to the manor. I could watch her sleep forever, so peaceful, so innocent, and here I am about to fuck up her world by becoming part of it. I pulled into the garage and cut the engine. Do I wake her? Do I carry her? I’m thirty-three years old and I have the mentality of a high school boy.
“Are you just going to stare at me?” She busted me putting a smile on my face. Well that answers my questions.
“I could.” I watched as her cheeks turned a beautiful crimson. So innocent. The more I think the word innocent, the more I wonder just how innocent she is. That is a conversational piece I would like to bring up.
“Ready old man?” She antagonized as I nod my head and get out to open her door.
“You know calling me an old man is rather insulting.” She stood up straight gaining her balance.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered as she looked up at me. Innocent. So fucking innocent.
“Are you?” I slowly back her up until she is flush with the SUV. I step in closer to her never taking my eyes from hers. I know I am intimidating her. I can see it in the way she is looking at me.
“Y-yes.” She stutters out fueling the adrenaline that is now coursing through me. Moving in until I was softly pressed against her I felt like a lion going after the lamb.
“Good, because I am no old man.” I put my lips right next to her ear. I can hear her swallow in either fear or anticipation. Pressing my hard on against her belly I hear her take a deep breath. “Do I feel like an old man to you Cameron?” I whisper in her ear. I pull my head back and find her eyes dancing wildly. “I asked you a question.” I pushed my pelvis into her a little more watching her eyes widen with either fear or lust.
“No.” She whispered as I pulled away and stood up straight.
“Ready to go in?” I walked to the back of the car and waited for her to follow.
“What the fuck Luca?” I was not expecting that reaction from her.
“Excuse me?” I turned to see a very bothered woman standing before me.
“What was that?” She’s a sassy little thing with her hands on placed upon her hips.
“What?” I was not going to tell her that I needed to gain some sort of control when it comes to her.
“Fuck you Luca! I may be younger than you but I am not naïve and I do not play games.” I watched as she stumbled past me as fast as she could to the door. I stood there like a statue, knowing I just fucked up with her, not knowing why I did that. I didn’t want to pull away in that moment, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to feel her respond to my touch.
I gave Cameron time to cool off before I went into the house. I checked the family room, then the kitchen, before heading towards the stairs. I got to the staircase just in time to see Lou barreling down them.
“I know I cannot tell you what to do, but I can tell you that if you go in that room right now, it will be a huge mistake on your part.” She took a few more steps down.
“What did she tell you?”
“Nothing. She came in and asked for help upstairs.” She passed me on her way down. “Do what you must, but I wouldn’t head up there. Not just yet.” I remained on the steps before finally sitting at their base. I am in unchartered water. Usually I don’t give a flying fuck if a woman is mad at me. I’m not married. I don’t have to answer to anybody. I can find another woman quicker than some can get a drink at a bar and not that I am proud but I’ve proven that.
I am not entirely sure how long I sat there. I watched Lou make her way through the house doing her daily thing. I watched her sympathetically look at me as she carried a dinner plate up to Cam. I felt her touch my shoulder as she came back down the stairs alone. As much as I wanted to continue my solo pity party I went to the home office and checked on the day I missed. Finally, at 10PM I went to my room to change for bed, although I did not stay in my room long.
10
Cameron
I came upstairs, got in the shower, and crawled into bed. I wanted to yell and scream at Luca but where would that get me? I would look like a pathetic little girl who cannot handle an adult friendship with a man. I knew he was teasing me. Hell, I loved it. I wouldn’t have stopped him from having me any way possible in that moment, it was h
ot, his arousal. The arctic blast that came after is what pulled me from my fantasy and smacked me with reality. A reality I do not want. I am not a toy and I do not want to be toyed with.
Lou brought me a dinner plate around 7PM when I didn’t call to go downstairs. I did not speak a word other than a ‘thank you’ and she did not probe me. I watched tv and stared at my phone debating on texting Luca or even Willa. She is probably pissed at me that I have not contacted her but Carlina assured me that Willa and Mike know I am okay and safe.
Around 10PM I heard a faint knock at my door before it was gently pushed open.
“Cam, can I talk to you?” Luca was standing in my doorway in pajama pants and an old t-shirt. He was so handsome, so real. This is the Luca I could fall in love with, not the suit that takes over his persona on a daily basis.
“What do you want?” I didn’t give him the courtesy of even sitting up. I remained laying in the bed my eyes redirected to the Fox8 10 o’clock news, trying desperately not to divert my eyes to him.
Luca walked to the side of my bed so that he was now blocking my view. “Cam, I’m sorry.” I stared at where the television would have been. I refused to look him in the eye and he knew it.
“What was that?” I still kept my eyes low.
“I don’t know. An immature attempt at seeing what you can handle.”
“I can handle you pressed up against me. The chill that came after is what I want no part of. So, let me ask again, what was that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Luca, I don’t play games and I will always be honest with you but this hot and cold thing you have with me needs to stop. It’s a head game I am just not interested in playing.” I finally look into his eyes, big mistake. I did not find the look of a player, I found regret.
“Things between you and I are flying at lightning speed. Whatever it is, it’s intense, it’s real, and confusing as all hell to me.”
“So, there is something here?” I wave between the two of us.
“You don’t feel it?” Luca sat down on the edge of my bed.
“Yes, but my fantasy life and reality do not match up.”
“Can you explain that?”
“This life I am living right now is a fantasy. I am in a mansion getting the best care money can buy. I’m being spoiled by people I barely know who are doing it just because they want to. My reality is my fifth-floor walk-up that I cannot even get to, serving at The Nine, and hoping that I get tipped enough to pay the rent. You are in the fantasy life that is going to end when your doctors discharge me. These two lives don’t mesh together.”
Luca pulled me up into his arms holding me close against his chest. “You need to find a way to mold the two together because you also belong here.” He kissed the top of my head. “With me.” I thought for sure that moment would have been the first time we kiss. That moment came up empty. Luca crawled up next to me in bed and drew me back against his chest. “Cameron, how innocent are you?”
“Can you explain that?” I wanted to make sure I had full disclosure on this conversation. It’s not like he opens up with his feelings much. He barely talked to me for two and a half months.
Luca took in a deep breath. “I want to know your sexual history.”
I had yet to hear him release his breath until I started talking. “There is not much to tell. I’ve been with two people. One was my high school boyfriend, the other a few years ago. Willa wanted to get tested when we moved up here so I did it with her. All my tests are clean.”
“You have not been with anyone in a few years? How were you able to go without sex?” Luca was talking in a calm conversational voice. The same tone he had the other night when we first talked.
“I haven’t found it to be that important. After boyfriend number two, it just was not what I thought it would be. It was just routine.” I giggle to myself. “I just use a vibrator.” I did not know what was funnier. The fact I just told Luca that or that he had an immediate hard on and was unable to speak. “Cat got your tongue?”
“Just when I think I have you figured out.”
“You’ll never have me figured out.” I spend the next few minutes considering my next move. Do I make a move on him? Do we continue our conversation? Given the undeniable fact he treats me like I am porcelain I decide to talk. “What about you?”
“What about me?” His voice was getting scratchy and impossibly deeper.
“What about your history?”
“Will you be satisfied with more than I care to admit and never with anyone who I loved?”
“For now.” I close my eyes and enjoy being held, being safe.
Luca
The next morning, I woke up to Cameron snuggled up into my side. My insomnia hibernates when I am with her. Knowing she needs rest after being out all day yesterday, I sneak out of bed. Heading to the office I needed to run an idea past my mother.
“Buongiorno Luca.” I secretly love that my mother still speaks Italian to us like she did when we were children.
“Buongiorno Mama. Do you think that Cameron could handle the Gala this Saturday night?”
“Handle it physically or as your date?” I hear my mother snicker.
“Both I guess.” I laugh.
“She is a strong woman Luca. She could handle it. I can take her for a dress and find some appropriate shoes. Should I do this today or would you like to invite her?”
“I would like to ask her to the gala first. I will try to be home for dinner.”
“Luca, it is nice to hear happiness in your voice again.”
“Figuring out Cameron is going to be the death of me, Mama.”
“You do know...” I cut her off.
“Yes.” I know exactly what my mother is thinking it is the same thing I am thinking, Elina will be there.
My father kept me relatively busy with business issues all day ensuring that my team kept me busy with the legit issues of the company. I had not heard from Cameron yet today. She respects the fact that I am a business man and that I am under a lot of stress which is why I am assuming she hasn’t gotten a hold of me. At least I hope that is why. I wanted to invite her to the gala over dinner, however I was not going to make it home any time soon.
Me: How are you today?
C: Hey stranger!
Me: Stranger? I haven’t been out of your bed that long. You already forgot about me.
C: Yes.
Me: Ouch
C: I guess you will have to leave me something to remember you by next time.
Me: Done
She’s flirting with me and I am finding myself enjoying it. I know I should have kissed her last night. Lord I wanted to and I know she felt the raging hard on I was sporting poking her back.
Me: I wanted to make it home for dinner but I am stuck at the office. There is something I wanted to ask you but I will talk to you about it later.
C: Okay.
Me: I’ll let you know if I am going to be really late. I will come in and see you when I get home.
C: k
It was a little after seven when security called up stating there was a young woman here to see me. They would not say who and that it was important. I knew this would be an enormous waste of time as I headed down in the elevator. Which old girlfriend is here again with her delusions of grandeur? I rounded the corner to the front desk and smiled. At the security desk, I saw Cameron chatting up the guard.
“Hello there.” I say as I walk up to the desk.
“Hi. I need you to carry something for me.” Cameron points down to the floor and I see one of my mother’s tote things full of containers. “You couldn’t have dinner with me, so I brought dinner to you.”
I looked at the guard who had a goofy ass smile on his face as he spoke, “It’s not nice to keep a lady waiting Mr. Morano.”
I pick up the package and extend my arm to Cameron. “You are absolutely right Gerald.”
I lead Cameron over to the elevator. “This is a nice surprise. How di
d you get here?”
“Your father was coming back into town for something and had heard me talking to your mother about you being late. He entered his cell number just in case you were unavailable.” I smiled. My dad was responding to Cameron.
“Well welcome to my office.” I say as I ushered her in. I set the tote on the table and Cameron went to work unloading the containers of food. “You waited to eat with me?”
“I said I brought dinner to you. That includes your date.” She smiled and for a brief second, I had forgotten about what a shitty day I had. I took a second to appreciate this woman in front of me. She sported yoga pants and a hoodie. Cameron did not have make up on and her hair was in a ponytail but all the same, she looked gorgeous to me.
“So, what are we having?”
“Lou made chicken piccata with noodles, fresh zucchini, salad, and garlic bread.”
I walked into Cam wrapping my arms around her. There was no awkwardness as she leaned into me and placed her arms around my waist. It was the most natural thing in the world to hold this woman. I thought back to yesterday when I hugged her for the first time and how stiff and unsure she was, today she owned me and I think she knows it. I only broke my hold when I heard her stomach grumble. “Hungry?”
“Yes.”
We sat side by side at the conference table eating Lou’s meal and conversing about life. Cameron is easy to talk to. She doesn’t just hear you to respond, she listens without a reply. It is a refreshing change of pace for me. After we finished eating I showed her around the office so she could get a sense of what it is I do all day. “I have to finish up a few emails and then we can head back to the manor.”
“Okay.” She smiled and walked to the books on the shelf carefully running her fingers over the old bindings.
“You like books?” I sat at my desk and continued to watch her.
