by Fanny Burney
CHAPTER XXXVII
The few, but precious words, that marked, in parting, a sensibility thathe had vainly sought to excite while remaining, bounded to the heart ofHarleigh; but were denied all acknowledgment from his lips, by the sightof Miss Bydel and Mr Giles Arbe, who were mounting the stairs.
Miss Bydel tapt at the door of Ellis; and Harleigh, ill as he feltfitted for joining any company, persuaded himself that immediately toretreat, might awaken yet more surmize, than, for a few passing minutes,to re-enter the room.
He looked at Ellis, in taking this measure, and saw that, while shestruggled to receive her visitors with calm civility, her air ofimpatience for his departure was changed, by this surprize, intoconfusion at his presence.
He felt culpable for occasioning her so uneasy a sensation; and, torepair it as much as might be in his power, assumed a disengagedcountenance, and treated as a mark of good fortune, having chanced toenquire whether Miss Ellis had any commands for town, at the same timethat Miss Bydel and Mr Giles Arbe made their visit.
'Why we are come, Mrs Ellis,' said Miss Bydel, 'to know the real reasonof your not being at the rehearsal this morning. Pray what is it? Not asoul could tell it me, though I asked every body all round. So I shouldbe glad to hear the truth from yourself. Was it real illness, now? oronly a pretext?'
'Illness,' cried Mr Giles, 'with all those roses on her cheeks? No, no;she's very well; as well as very pretty. But you should not tellstories, my dear: though I am heartily glad to see that there's nothingthe matter. But it's a bad habit. Though it's convenient enough,sometimes. But when you don't like to do a thing, why not say so atonce? People mayn't be pleased, to be sure, when they are refused; butdo you think them so ill natured, as to like better to hear that you areill?'
Ellis, abashed, attempted no defence; and Harleigh addressed somediscourse to Miss Bydel, upon the next day's concert; while Mr Gileswent on with his own idea.
'We should always honestly confess our likings and dislikings, for elsewhat have we got them for? If every one of us had the same taste, halfthe things about us would be of no service; and we should scramble tillwe came to scratches for t'other half. But the world has no morebusiness, my dear lady, to be all of one mind, than all of one body.'
'O now, pray Mr Giles,' cried Miss Bydel, 'don't go beginning yourcomical talk; for if once you do that, one can't get in a word.'
'But, for all that, we should all round try to help and be kind to oneanother; what else are we put all together for in this world? We might,just as well, each of us have been popt upon some separate bit of aplanet, one by himself one. All I recommend, is, to tell truth, or tosay nothing. We whip poor pretty children for telling stories, when theyare little, and yet hardly speak a word, without some false turn orother, ourselves, when we grow big!'
'Well, but, Mr Giles,' said Miss Bydel, 'where's the use of talking solong about all that, when I'm wanting to ask Mrs Ellis why she did notcome to the rehearsal?'
'For my own part, Ma'am,' continued Mr Giles, 'if any body puts me to adifficulty, I do the best I can: but I'd rather do the worst than tell afib. So when I am asked an awkward question, which some people can'tcure themselves of doing, out of an over curiosity in their nature, as,Giles, how do you like Miss such a one? or Mr such a one? or Mrs such aone? as Miss Bydel, for instance, if she came into any body's head;or--'
'Nay, Mr Giles,' interrupted Miss Bydel, 'I don't see why I should notcome into a person's head as well as another; so I don't know what yousay that for. But if that's your notion of being so kind one to another,Mr Giles, I can't pretend to say it's mine; for I see no kindness init.'
'I protest, Ma'am, I did not think of you in the least!' cried Mr Giles,much out of countenance: 'I only took your name because happening tostand just before you put it, I suppose, at my tongue's end; but youwere not once in my thoughts, I can assure you, Ma'am, upon my word ofhonour! No more than if you had never existed, I protest!'
Miss Bydel, neither accepting nor repelling this apology, said, that shedid not come to talk of things of that sort, but to settle some businessof more importance. Then, turning to Ellis, 'I hear,' she continued,'Mrs Ellis, that all of the sudden, you are grown very rich. And Ishould be glad to know if it's true? and how it has happened?'
'I should be still more glad, Madam,' answered Ellis, 'to be able togive you the information!'
'Nay, Mrs Ellis, I had it from your friend Mr Giles, who is always theperson to be telling something or other to your advantage. So if therebe any fault in the account, it's him you are to call upon, not me.'
Mr Giles, drawn by the silence of Ellis to a view of her embarrassment,became fearful that he had been indiscreet, and made signs to Miss Bydelto say no more upon the subject; but Miss Bydel, by no means disposed,at this moment, to oblige him, went on.
'Nay, Mr Giles, you know, as well as I do, 'twas your own news. Did notyou tell us all, just now, at the rehearsal, when Miss Brinville andMiss Sycamore were saying what a monstrous air they thought it, for aperson that nobody knew any thing of, to send excuses about beingindisposed; just as if she were a fine lady; or some famous singer, thatmight be as troublesome as she would; did you not tell us, I say, thatMrs Ellis deserved as much respect as any of us, on account of her goodcharacter, and more than any of us on account of her prettiness and herpoverty? Because her prettiness, says you, tempts others, and herpoverty tempts herself; and yet she is just as virtuous as if she wereas rich and as ordinary as any one of the greatest consequence amongstyou. These were your own words, Mr Giles.'
Harleigh, who, conscious that he ought to go, had long held by the lockof the door, as if departing, could not now refrain from changing theposition of his hand, by placing it, expressively, upon the arm of MrGiles.
'And if all this,' Miss Bydel continued, 'is not enough to make yourespect her, says you, why respect her for the same thing that makes yourespect one another, her money. And when we all asked how she could bepoor, and have money too, you said that you had yourself seen ever somany bank-notes upon her table.'
Ellis coloured; but not so painfully as Harleigh, at the sight of herblushes, unattended by any refutation; or any answer to thisextraordinary assertion.
'And then, Mr Giles, as you very well know, when I asked, if she hasmoney, why don't she pay her debts? you replied, that she had paid themall. Upon which I said, I should be glad to know, then why I was to bethe only person left out, just only for my complaisance in waiting solong? and upon that I resolved to come myself, and see how the matterstood. For though I have served you with such good will, Mrs Ellis,while I thought you poor, I must be a fool to be kept out of my money,when I know you have got it in plenty: and Mr Giles says that hecounted, with his own hands, ten ten-pound bank-notes. Now I should beglad if you have no objection, to hear how you came by all that money,Mrs Ellis; for ten ten-pound bank-notes make a hundred pounds.'
Oh! absent--unguarded--dangerous Mr Giles Arbe! thought Ellis, how muchbenevolence do you mar, by a distraction of mind that leads to so muchmischief!
'I hope I have done nothing improper?' cried Mr Giles, perceiving, withconcern, the disturbance of Ellis, 'in mentioning this; for I protest Inever recollected, till this very minute, that the money is not yourown. It slipt my memory, somehow, entirely.'
'Nay, nay, how will you make that out, Mr Giles?' cried Miss Bydel. 'Ifit were not her own, how came she to pay her tradesmen with it, as youtold us that she did, Mr Giles?'
Ellis, in the deepest embarrassment, knew not which way to turn herhead.
'She paid them, Miss Bydel,' said Mr Giles, 'because she is too just, aswell as too charitable, to let honest people want, only because theyhave the good nature to keep her from wanting herself; while she hassuch large sums, belonging to a rich friend, lying quite useless, in abit of paper, by her side. For the money was left with her by a veryrich friend, she told me herself.'
'No, Sir,--no, Mr Giles,' cried Ellis, hastily, and looking every way toavoid the anxious enquiring, quick-
glancing eyes of Harleigh: 'I didnot ... I could not say....' she stopt, scarcely knowing what she meanteither to deny or to affirm.
'Yes, yes, 'twas a rich friend, my dear lady, you owned that. If you hadnot given me that assurance, I should not have urged you to make use ofit. Besides, who but a rich friend would leave you money in such a wayas that, neither locked, nor tied, nor in a box, nor in a parcel; butonly in a little paper cover, directed For Miss Ellis, at her leisure?'
At these words, which could leave no doubt upon the mind of Harleigh,that the money in question was his own; and that the money, so oftenrefused, had finally been employed in the payment of her debts, Ellisinvoluntarily, irresistibly, but most fearfully, stole a hasty glance athim; with a transient hope that they might have escaped his attention;but the hope died in its birth: the words, in their fullest meaning, hadreached him, and the sensation which they produced filled her withpoignant shame. A joy beamed in his countenance that irradiated everyfeature; a joy that flushed him into an excess of rapture, of which theconsciousness seemed to abash himself; and his eyes bent instantly tothe ground. But their checked vivacity checked not the feelings whichillumined them, nor the alarm which they excited, when Ellis, urged byaffright to snatch a second look, saw the brilliancy with which they hadat first sought her own, terminate in a sensibility more touching; sawthat they glistened with a tender pleasure, which, to her alarmedimagination, represented the potent and dangerous inferences thatenchanted his mind, at a discovery that he had thus essentiallysuccoured her; and that she had accepted, at last, however secretly, hissuccour.
This view of new danger to her sense of independence, called forth newcourage, and restored an appearance of composure; and, addressingherself to Miss Bydel, 'I entreat you,' she cried, 'Madam, to bear alittle longer with my delay. To-morrow I shall enter upon a new career,from the result of which I hope speedily to acknowledge by obligation toyour patience; and to acquit myself to all those to whom I am in anymanner, pecuniarily obliged;--except of the lighter though far morelasting debt of gratitude.'
Harleigh understood her determined perseverance with crueldisappointment, yet with augmented admiration of her spirited delicacy;and, sensible of the utter impropriety of even an apparent resistance toher resolution in public, he faintly expressed his concern that she hadno letters prepared for town, and with a deep, but stifled sigh, tookleave.
Miss Bydel continued her interrogations, but without effect; and soon,therefore, followed. Mr Giles remained longer; not because he obtainedmore satisfaction, but because, when not answered, he was contented withtalking to himself.
The rest of the day was passed free from outward disturbance to Ellis;and what she might experience internally was undivulged.
