by Leslie North
Talking to his brothers made Alex grateful he’d been in the delivery room and seen his son the second Luke entered the world. He’d never forget that as long as he lived. It had been amazing and overwhelming at the same time. Despite his shaking hands, he’d cut the umbilical cord. It had been a hell of a week, he thought, still standing in the nursery.
He glanced around at the little room. He was thankful for his sisters-in-law, who had burst into his townhouse with loads of baby stuff and arranged and decorated the nursery before Soledad came home from the hospital. She’d placed what he learned were baby essentials in his second bedroom, but Carolyn and Lily had transformed the space into baby central. He’d thought it was too much, but Soledad had been excited and happy when she saw it.
With one last look at Luke and a quick verification that the baby monitor was on, Alex left the nursery and went downstairs to where Soledad was resting on the sofa in the living room. As usual, Frankie was curled up next to her. The little dog was never far from Soledad. She gave Alex a wan smile when he entered the room.
“I’m ready,” she said, straightening a little.
He didn’t have to ask for what, but he didn’t want to rush a woman recovering from childbirth. He’d witnessed how hard that had been on her. “Are you sure?”
“It’s time,” she said. “Let’s talk while he’s napping. I have things to explain.”
Alex wasn’t going to argue with that, so he sat across from her and waited.
“You have to be wondering if I knew before you left on your last mission,” she began.
He nodded, although he’d done the math and consulted an online pregnancy calendar. According to that, she could only have been a few weeks pregnant when he deployed.
“I didn’t. I realized it about three weeks after you left.” Her fingers stroked Frankie’s ears, and he wondered if it was more for the dog’s comfort or her own. “I thought I’d caught a stomach bug, but when it persisted and other symptoms occurred, I took a test. I was… shocked at the results.”
He could imagine what that was like, especially since they’d broken up somewhere between conception and his departure. She’d been pregnant and alone. “I’m sorry you had to face that by yourself.”
She shrugged, a small smile on her face. “I got used to the idea quickly enough, and I knew that I wanted this baby. I never doubted that.”
What if she’d decided not to keep Luke? Alex hadn’t considered that possibility before. A horrible sense of loss rolled through him. He’d only known his son a week—and he’d never expected to be a father—but he already couldn’t imagine not having Luke. That realization made his next question even more important.
“When were you planning to tell me about the pregnancy?”
“I knew you’d want to know that, too, and despite our breakup, I wanted to tell you,” she said.
“Thanks for that, but…”
“Reaching you when you’re on a mission isn’t easy,” she explained. “I did what I could, but I’m not surprised that the message never got through to you.”
He’d spent the better part of the last eight months in a remote corner of Afghanistan. Communication would have been challenging in any case, and personal communications had been forbidden due to the nature of the mission. Only life-or-death news would have gotten through to him. The Navy probably decided that a pregnant ex-girlfriend didn’t fall into that category.
“My brothers might have been able to cut through the red tape for you,” he suggested. As former SEALs, Zach and Colin knew plenty of people within the chain of command who might have pushed through a message.
“I thought of that,” she acknowledged, “but by the time I gave up trying to reach you by normal means, I’d made up my mind that I could do this on my own.”
Soledad had always had a strong independent streak. It was something he’d liked about her. She’d never been clingy or possessive, which was probably why their relationship had lasted as long as it had. In the end, she’d let him know she wanted more with him, but he couldn’t give her or anyone that. When he’d told her that, she’d lifted her chin, squared her shoulders, and walked out.
“If that’s true, why are you living here?” He kept his tone neutral, not wanting to lay any accusations on her.
She sighed. “You’ve been out of touch. A few months after you left, my employer declared bankruptcy and closed hundreds of stores across the country, including the one here. I was able to keep my job until the merchandise was packed up and shipped to other locations that were remaining open. After that, I was out of work and obviously pregnant. Trust me, no one wants to hire a woman who’s going to need maternity leave right away. I looked for work but came up empty, so I started to dip into the money Mom left me. I could have made that last until Luke was born and I got back on my feet.”
She stopped, flicking away a tear with a sharp motion of her finger. Soledad wasn’t a woman prone to crying. As a matter of fact, he’d never seen her cry. Telling him this was clearly difficult for her. He could imagine how stressed she must have been with a baby on the way and no job.
“You don’t have to tell me any more,” he said, shoving a tissue box across the coffee table to her.
“Sorry,” she said, reaching for a tissue. “Baby hormones. I’m kind of a mess. I cried when I dressed Luke this morning, just because his outfit was so cute. I know you don’t want to deal with tears. Give me a minute and I’ll get over it.”
Alex had no idea what to say. Becoming a father had sent him on an emotional roller coaster. It had to be ten times more intense for the mother. But dealing with women’s tears had never been his thing. If a girlfriend cried, he was out the door and unlikely to come back. Still, he couldn’t and wouldn’t walk out on Soledad or his son. And, hell, this was his house. So he waited.
“Okay, I can talk again,” she said after a minute. “Anyways, I budgeted my money and thought I had enough to last until Luke was old enough that I could return to work… and then the duplex I rented was sold, and I had to move. I was seven months pregnant and unemployed. No one would rent an apartment to me. I had to face the reality that I was about to be homeless.”
“My brothers would have helped you,” Alex said. His brothers were the only two people in the world who had never disappointed him. The three of them had bonded together to survive a shitty childhood, and that bond remained tight.
“I know,” she admitted, “but I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. All I needed was a place to live for a few months, and I still had a key. So I moved in.” She shot him a look that was part challenge and part a plea for understanding.
“If I’d known, I would have offered you my place,” he assured her. “Under any circumstances, but especially with a baby coming.” His baby.
“Thanks. I banked on that, but I promise Luke and I will get out of your hair as soon as I’m back on my feet.” The dog nudged her leg. “And Frankie, too.”
“Don’t think like that,” he said. He might not have expected this, but he wasn’t the type of man to cast out his ex-girlfriend and his son. “We might not be a couple, but we have a responsibility to Luke. I want to make sure he and you are safe and cared for. This arrangement can work for as long as it needs to.” While she was in the hospital, he’d made some changes in the house. Soledad had been in the master bedroom and—thanks to Carolyn and Lily—the second one was all set up for Luke, so Alex had put a bed in the little downstairs den. He’d never known what to do with the space, since he wasn’t the den type. It was small, but he’d slept in much more cramped quarters. It suited him fine, and he didn’t want her to think he wanted her and Luke gone.
“Thanks. I appreciate that.” Her hand rested on Frankie’s head again. The dog seemed to be an integral part of her life now.
“Where does Frankie fit into all this?” Since the dog had proven herself to be loyal and friendly so far, Alex didn’t have an issue with her.
“Strange time to adopt a do
g, I know.” She stroked Frankie’s back. “A few weeks after I moved in here, I was out for a walk,” she explained. “A car pulled up near me, and a woman got out and took a puppy from the back. She told it to sit on the sidewalk, got back in, and drove off. I called after her, but I couldn’t chase her down.”
Alex imagined she might have if she hadn’t been pregnant. Soledad was a dedicated runner who’d competed in distance events in both high school and college. She’d been plenty fast, challenging him when they ran together.
“I took Frankie to a shelter, and they said a lot of puppies get dumped just like that. They promised to keep her for a week and try to find a home for her—but after that, she’d be euthanized.” She swallowed hard, and he could see her blinking back more tears at the idea. “I left her there but went back before the week was up. I thought we made a good pair. We were both at difficult times in our lives. She was young and homeless, and I was pregnant and homeless. We seemed a match, and she’s a good girl. I couldn’t have left her at the shelter to die.”
“I wouldn’t have expected you to. I’m a little surprised you didn’t adopt the entire shelter,” he said teasingly, earning a smile.
“It was hard not to,” she admitted, meeting his eyes, the smile still on her lush red lips.
Looking at her, it was easy to remember why he fell for her in the first place. She was beautiful, with her dark hair and complexion. The curve of her lips made him aware of the curves of her body hidden under her leggings and sweatshirt. The physical attraction between them had been strong, and they’d been compatible in bed. In other ways, though, they weren’t. She was an optimist, seeing the good in everything. Through his background as well as his training, he saw the potential for ruin in any situation. Like their relationship. It had ended as he’d known it would.
Well, except for Luke. That part was unexpected, but he’d do right by his child, which meant supporting Soledad. The romantic part of their relationship was done with, but she deserved anything else he could provide for her.
“How long are you home?” she asked, as if reading his mind.
His commitment to serving his country had been a source of conflict between them. She didn’t object to the military, but she didn’t like missions that drew him away, completely out of touch, for extended periods.
“Not sure,” he answered after a long minute. He wasn’t ready to tell her that he was considering retirement. His enlistment was nearly up, and he had decisions to make. If his last mission hadn’t been such a shitshow, he’d have signed on for another hitch without hesitation.
His plan on arriving home had been to think through the possibilities and deal with the aftermath of Bruce Lewis’s treachery—but he hadn’t had time for anything but sleep and baby care since he walked in the door. And now that he had a son, his responsibilities were different in any case.
“Okay,” she said. “It’s not my business, but I’m glad you took all this so well. To be honest, I wasn’t sure, with the way things were the last time we saw each other. But I’m glad you were here for Luke’s birth, and…” A cry over the baby monitor stopped her next words. “I’ll get him.”
He watched her walk past him, not sure that he’d said the right things. But they’d had the conversation, cleared the air somewhat, so they could focus on caring for their son.
“Come on, girl,” Alex said to Frankie. The dog, tail wagging, jumped down from the couch and trotted to him. “Let’s go outside.” Alex stepped out on the back porch and grabbed a ball that had been left on the wooden planks. He lobbed the ball into the yard. Frankie shot down the steps, snagged the ball, and returned to him.
“Drop,” Alex commanded, and Frankie let the ball go. “Good girl.” He’d always wanted a dog, but his schedule hadn’t allowed for it. He tossed the ball a second time, his eyes following its trajectory into the barren yard. His career hadn’t left any time for gardening, either. He had grass and nothing else, which was a shame since he loved to work in the soil.
Soledad was one of the few people who knew that about him—the only one outside his family. His brothers maintained neat yards, but they didn’t enjoy it as he did. He’d gotten his love for gardening from the admiral, the man who’d taken him and his brothers in when they were on the path to being teenage delinquents.
He’d kicked up a fuss at first when the admiral put him in charge of trimming the hedges and mowing the grass, but he’d grown to love it. Not that he ever let the old guy have the satisfaction of seeing that. Alex smiled at the memory of planting a vegetable garden with the admiral. Alex had complained the entire time, but his foster father had ignored him.
When they had more tomatoes, squash, and peppers than they could eat, Alex saw the merit in the work and realized he had a green thumb. After that, he quit his grumbling and learned what he could about gardening. When his temper got the better of him, as it had frequently when he was a teen, he’d retreated to the green space that surrounded the admiral’s home and gotten his hands dirty.
Maybe he could plant a few shrubs and get some landscaping going while he was home. He’d filed for paternity leave, giving him extended time off. His future, though, was still murky. It was going to be harder to leave now, with Luke in his life. He needed time to think. Gardening would help him do that.
He walked out into the backyard, evaluating sunny and shady spots while visualizing possible plant choices. He was nearly at the far end of the yard when his phone rang. The display read “Travis”: Travis Cole, one of his SEAL teammates.
“Hey, Travis. What’s up?”
“You need to watch your back,” Travis said after they exchanged greetings. “Bruce is out for blood.”
At the end of their most recent mission, Alex had turned Bruce Lewis in for misconduct. Alex respected every man he served with except Bruce, who was a douchebag and a criminal who didn’t deserve to wear the same uniform they did.
“So?” Alex said.
“So he’s got more connections than you do. His father’s a colonel with a post at the Pentagon. Grandpa was an admiral. They’re calling in all the favors to protect their boy. You don’t have that on your side.”
“I’ve got the truth,” Alex insisted. Bruce’s actions were unconscionable. Anyone would have turned him in had they known.
“The truth isn’t always enough, and you know it. They’re trying to hush it up, and if they do, it wouldn’t surprise me if Bruce tried to turn the whole thing around on you.”
“No one’s going to believe I was involved in that crap,” Alex said. The military wasn’t perfect, but he had faith that as long as he’d done things right—and he had—he wouldn’t wind up on the short end of the stick.
“I hope you’re right about that,” Travis said. “But that’s not the only thing to worry about. Rumors are spreading like wildfire about Bruce, and his family is only going to be able to protect him so far.”
“I’m not sure how that’s anything but good,” Alex pointed out.
“You know Bruce isn’t the type to turn the other cheek,” Travis replied. “He’s pissed as hell at you for ratting him out. If this does blow up on him, he’ll come after you.”
“I can handle Bruce,” Alex said as his eyes focused on the window of Luke’s room on the second floor, and his thoughts took a strange detour. He could handle whatever Bruce handed out. But it was no longer just him.
“I know that. Your temper’s as bad as his—but he’s a snake. He’ll hit you where it hurts.”
“Thanks for the warning.” Alex said goodbye to Travis and put his phone away. He’d suspected the issue with Bruce was far from over when he’d come home, but the call was a nasty reminder of the whole damn situation.
3
Soledad shut her laptop and looked out the front window of Alex’s townhouse. Summer sunshine coated the lawn and the street. People ran, biked, and walked past, enjoying the day. Heck, even the cars looked happy to be glistening in the warmth. And she was stuck inside, as she
had been far too much in the six weeks since Luke’s birth.
“Mama’s got the stir-crazies,” she murmured to Luke. After she fed him, he’d been content to be awake and look around, so she’d spread out the quilt on the living room floor and put him in the center.
Trying to combat her restlessness, she’d turned to a task that always made her happy: updating her blog about hot-air balloons. She’d been fascinated with them ever since she was a little girl and had gone with her mother to a festival. Even though she’d never been up in one and the thought of doing so made her knees shake and stomach roil, she tracked festivals and balloon races on her blog. One of her favorite parts of the blog was writing reviews of books that featured hot-air balloons, which surprisingly was more common than people thought.
Finding time to read the books, let alone blog about them, had been nearly impossible since Luke’s birth. She looked at her adorable boy. He was curling up his legs and working on getting his toes to his mouth. When she leaned over him, he stopped, blinking up at her with dark blue eyes just like his daddy’s.
“You’re going to be a heartbreaker, you know,” she said, making him smile. “Another thing you’ve got in common with your daddy.”
Luke was worth all the lost sleep and worry of the past weeks, but she still felt a bit like a caged animal. She needed to get outside, feel the breeze on her face and warmth on her shoulders. Maybe even stretch her legs. She’d done yoga nearly daily over the past month and felt her body was returning to its pre-baby shape, but she’d lost her endurance. Maybe a walk—a fast one—and if that went well, she could try running soon. Frankie could do with some exercise, too.
She found her sneakers and sunglasses, excited about the opportunity to go out on her own.
