“I hear you, loud and clear. I’d hate to lose you from the band, but there are no guarantees in this life, although depending on a career with two recovering addicts can’t be offering you peace of mind. My thoughts are if you walk away the band will crumble, and although I think you’re one of the best, I’m sure we could find a replacement keyboard player, but it wouldn’t be the same. Hammer appreciates us, but Wiggy has no idea how lucky he is to have had people like us who’ve stood by him the way we have.”
“I know it’s what we’re supposed to do, stick by one another in times of trouble, but in my case I’ve begun to suffer the consequences of my loyalty to Wiggy, especially this year and I’ve never really liked the guy.” Seeing how guilty he felt for having those thoughts crushed me. None of this was his fault. I sighed and felt how torn he was about the fractures we’d faced as a band.
“I’m going to be frank, and I’ll probably cuss myself for saying this, but you have to do what’s right for you. I think Hammer will be fine, I’ll always look out for him, but Wiggy may be a lost cause. This was his third stint in rehab, and he may or may not stay clean. My best guess is we are on borrowed time with him. It’s up to you whether you feel the band issues are worth the risk, if not, then you take the best offer you feel you can get, and don’t look back. You’d never lose my friendship for taking care of yourself.”
“I really want this RedA gig, no, that’s a lie, I need it—deserve it. If we get that far, then I’ll make a decision afterward, and if Wiggy blows out before then, I need promises from you and Hammer that he’ll be replaced,” he demanded, desperately.
“It’s in my nature not to turn my back on someone because of their addiction. It’s an illness like any other, self-inflicted in the beginning, however, I don’t think the lifestyle of being in a band is best for a guy with the weak will Wiggy appears to have. As much as it hurts me to do it, I promise I’ll shelve him if he lets himself down again.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Heading from Newark Airport to our apartment, I knew I was in for a frosty reception because of the call when I’d been in Phoenix. I knew Billie may have possibly read this as me being angry with her because she’d involved James in our lives, when in reality, my work was what had prevented me from making things right between us before I made it back from the tour.
The day before, our last day in Las Vegas, I hadn’t found the time to call her. We’d been offered a last minute interview and an unplugged session with a local radio station, which we would have been fools to have refused. It had been great exposure for us, and after connecting with a couple of the producers, we then moved on to eat with them at a nearby sports bar.
It had been my intention to call Billie close to Colby’s bedtime, but by the time we returned to the venue, we’d discovered some of our band gear had gone astray. These had been minor nonessential items, apart from the one thing pivotal to Hammer’s performance, his bass drum pedal.
With other things to think about, time had gotten away from me while I helped to find another one, but this had thrown up another problem, how precarious Wiggy’s fragile abstinence was. All it had taken was a valid reason for him to break free of us, and he pressed the issue by showing an unusually keen interest to go out and buy one himself.
This had put the rest of us on our guard and caused us to micro-manage Wiggy’s every move, knowing in any city there was plenty of cocaine in supply if you knew where to look. We also knew he was no stranger to some of the Sin City drug dealers.
Although I was tired after the early morning flight, it had felt exhilarating when I slid my key into our apartment door lock. As soon as I opened it, I heard low chatter from the kitchen.
As I neared where they were, I knew neither of them had heard me arrive. Before I made myself known I crept right up on them. I’d never felt so excited as I had been to spend time with them again.
Yelling, “Surprise,” I leapt out at them. They both stood riveted to the spot in shock before they both screamed. Colby shook his head as if he’d awoken from a trance, ran toward me and hugged me tightly.
Instead of the greeting I’d expected from Billie, she was subdued, and my first thought was that my wife had looked drained and worried. This caused my lips to form a line as she hesitantly wandered over beside me and I sensed her reluctance.
Colby released his grip and I slid my arm around Billie and pulled her close to my chest. Sliding my hand up her back and into her hair, I grabbed a fistful and tugged her head back gently until her worried eyes met mine.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice sounding every bit as concerned as I felt.
“I figured when you didn’t call me yesterday you were still angry with me for—” My lips closed in on hers before she could say another word and I kissed her slowly, bearing in mind Colby was standing beside us. My wife felt stiff in my arms so I broke the short kiss, gave her another warm smile, and slid my arm from around her shoulder to frame her face with both hands.
“You have no idea how insanely frustrated that made me to see him here and me all that distance from home. I know it wasn’t a rational reaction from your perspective, but from mine—”
“Shh, I get it,” she mumbled, her eyes flashing wide at the back of Colby’s head, reminding me he had no clue about the rift between his uncle and me. “If it’s any consolation, James looked petrified when I asked him to stay to dinner and appeared only marginally relieved when Tricia turned up. Neither of them stayed long afterward either and both were gone by 9:30 p.m.”
Hearing Billie’s account of events offered me some reassurance that I had blown things out of proportion and I hugged her tight. “Missed you,” I muttered, dipping my head as I tried to press another soft kiss to her closed lips.
Turning her head to the side, she leaned back and gave me a sideward glance. “Missed doesn’t begin to explain how I’ve felt since you’ve been gone, but we’re so excited to have you home. Isn’t that right, Colby?” she asked, turning her attention to him and held an arm open for him to join in.
Colby stepped into it and I wrapped one around him as well taking a group hug from them both. It felt amazing to have them close to me again, but I couldn’t shake the vibe something was off.
“I missed you too, bud,” I said, ruffling his hair affectionately and patting his back. He rewarded me with a big smile that reached his bright blue eyes. “What does that mean for the next visitation though?”
“It means next weekend and the following one he’ll be with Logan,” Billie informed me.
“Well, that’s not a bad thing, it’ll do you both good to get some regular time instead of this alternate week thing. Sometimes I feel you may just be bonding with your dad when it’s time to come back here again.” I eyed my wife’s face for her reaction but when there was none, I felt concerned she wasn’t okay. “Are you all right, darlin’, you look pale. Are you tired?”
As the conversation had turned boring, Colby took himself off to the couch and turned on the TV, leaving Billie and I talking as I headed into our bedroom with my leather carry-on. When we entered the room, she moved ahead of me, turned and sat on the bed.
“Colby and I did a bit of shopping yesterday and ended up eating at a small mom-and-pop diner. I think I ate something bad. I haven’t felt well from the moment we’d gotten home. By the evening I felt nauseous and decided to have an early night. At around 11:30 p.m. I woke up feeling as if I was about to vomit and barely made it to the bathroom.”
“You were sick?” I asked, my chest tightened and she nodded.
“I was up half the night and I must have emptied the whole contents of my stomach. I’d never been so violently sick in my life before. It was horrible.”
Kneeling beside her I cradled her face in my hands. “Fuck, I’m sorry, darlin’. Get yourself back into bed and lay your head down. I’ll take care of Colby; you must be exhausted. I could see the moment I came through the door there was something wrong.”
; “I’m in the middle of making you lunch,” she muttered and shook her head.
“And I don’t know how to cook? It’s fine, get in and grab some sleep, Colby and I will be fine.”
Pulling the blankets back, I insisted she lie down and I covered her up. Tucking her in, I bent and kissed her head again. “Food poisoning is horrible, but a few hours sleep should help you, Billie,” I said, as I stood up straight.
It wasn’t exactly the welcome home I’d envisioned in my mind, but it was real life. I’d remembered it was around the anniversary of when we’d met again in Kevy’s bar. I compared how the excitement I’d felt at seeing her again and compared this to how I felt a year later. My feelings of desire and lust paled when I considered how my love for her had grown.
Since then she’d seared my soul when she became my everything, and my heart ached because I’d wanted for nothing more in that moment than to lie down beside her and try to comfort her. However, the practicalities were that Colby had to be fed and organized for school, so I reluctantly went with her wishes and left her to do my duty to him instead.
After eating, I checked in on Billie and she was still asleep. Leaving her undisturbed, Colby and I sat talking baseball and watched a couple of old tapes I’d saved from my baseball days about technique, before I asked him to take a bath and pack his bag for school for the next day. After I’d ordered takeout and we had eaten again, I sent him to bed with a book.
I’d been about to wake Billie with a cup of hot tea and honey when a text arrived from James.
James: I know you are due back today. Can we meet up? It’s urgent.
Before the wedding, James had been concerned about our father’s workload, and as I knew he worked with him I was expecting something of this nature, so I called him.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, as I tried hard to fight the ache that settled in my stomach from the history we had.
“Where are you?” he asked, sounding anxious.
“At home, why?”
“Shit,” he said under his breath. “I wanted to meet you before you went home.”
I snickered. “Then you missed me, because I’m here already. What’s wrong?”
“I really need to see you.”
“What’s so important.”
He huffed and felt a sense of anguish in his response. “You’ll understand when I see you,” he replied in a clipped, restrained tone.
“Sorry, I can’t. Billie’s got food poisoning.” As soon as I said this, he changed tack.
“Christ, is she okay?”
“No, but she will be. I’m here now.”
“Good, she missed you.” I was tempted to ask how he had formed his opinion, but I held it back. The unsaid words stuck in my chest.
“I know,” I agreed. “I can meet you tomorrow after I drop Colby at school,” I offered.
“Okay, I’ll come over to your place, I’d rather we had some privacy for this,” he replied, making me wonder what the hell was wrong, but nothing was more important than Billie, so I let it slide.
“All right, I’ll see you here at 9:30 a.m.” We still weren’t at the stage of small talk so I hung up and checked on Colby before going back to check on my wife.
Softly opening the door, I’d expected to see Billie asleep but instead found her hugging the toilet bowl again. “Fuck, baby, I think we should call the doctor.”
“I think you’re right. It’s been more than twenty-four hours now and there’s no sign of this improving. I woke up thirsty and had a few sips of water and this happened. The cramps in my lower belly aren’t getting any better either.”
Once I had gotten her cleaned up and settled her back in bed, I called a doctor, demanding a home visit. By the time our family doctor arrived, Colby was asleep and I took him in to see Billie.
Again we found her in the bathroom, and after a few minutes of checking her over, he decided she most probably had gastroenteritis and had to be admitted to hospital for some fluids and antibiotics.
Finding Tricia’s number on her phone I called her to sit with Colby. This enabled me to take Billie to the hospital, rather than her go alone by ambulance. Twenty-five minutes later Tricia arrived at the apartment and I placed my wife, complete with a sturdy plastic bag, into my car for the short ride there and her admission for treatment.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
On admission, Dr. Simpson, the doctor on duty, took a thorough history of Billie’s health before taking blood, urine, vomit, and stool samples for culture. He explained why it was important to do this before starting antibiotic treatment. Although he said he could use a broad spectrum antibiotic, the samples were necessary to exclude the need for a more specific treatment.
Next he inserted a line in the back of her hand and initially gave her some fluids with glucose to give her some energy, until the blood and urine tests came back. When he poked his head around the door again ten minutes later, we were surprised he had come back so soon.
“I have the results of your urine sample Billie, and this is surprising since you have an IUD inserted, but I need to inform you, you’re pregnant,” he said, glancing from Billie to me with a nervous half-smile.
“Pregnant?” we both chimed at the same time and turned to look at one another in shock. Billie’s eyes went wide, but she turned her head to the bowl she held and vomited again
“It’s routine, we run a pregnancy test on all women of childbearing age before we begin to use equipment that may be harmful, such as X-rays, CT or MRI scans, and also to help us to know which drugs we can safely use. Do you need a few moments alone, or should I bring in a portable scanner to confirm the findings of the pregnancy test? It would explain why you’re having such a rough time this past twenty-four hours.”
“Bring it,” I said, my mind in complete meltdown wondering when this could have happened and glancing at Billie’s face to gauge her reaction. Unfortunately she continued vomiting, and I never caught her initial reaction to our news.
Feelings of exhilaration mingled with fear, apprehension, and wonder at the possibility of being a biological father, and the only thing that kept my feelings positive was that Billie had already admitted to wanting a child with me before her current state of health.
Rubbing my wife’s back, I swapped out the full sick bowl for a clean one and was placing it over by the sink when the doctor reappeared with a small machine on a stainless steel cart.
Billie flashed me a sober look and I knew what she thought in that moment. I had told her we’d discuss it again, and I knew she wondered whether I’d be happy if her pregnancy was confirmed. As far as I was concerned at the time, if it turned out to be a happy accident the decision would have been taken out of our hands and it was a child that was meant to be. I slipped my hand into hers and squeezed it in reassurance.
Preparing Billie’s abdomen with some translucent gel, the doctor turned on the small machine and took what looked like a conductor of some kind from a cradle attached to it. After directing the gel to her lower abdomen he centered it toward her pubic bone. He did this several times before his movements got less haphazard and more targeted.
“Ah, here you go,” he said, when he found what he wanted us to see. A small white grainy image that looked much like a cashew nut stuck out in the small sea of black and gray that surrounded it. There he is,” and my brow creased at the gender he used.
“He?’ I asked quickly.
“Well, it really, its genitalia is undistinguishable as yet, I don’t like the use of the word ‘it’ where a life is the subject.” He continued to wave the conductor and suddenly bent closer. “You see the small flicker? That’s the heart beating.” I was mesmerized and he turned up the sound. The fast regular bump-bump-bump caught my breath in my throat. Billie had my child inside her and my heart was fit to burst. I bent and kissed her head.
“Are you okay?” I asked, meaning about the baby and how she felt in physical terms.
Billie continued to stare at the screen and
nodded. “Yeah,” she replied in a whisper and I immediately realized she was overwhelmed by the shock of finding out she was pregnant. She looked choked with emotion.
The doctor moved the wand like he was about to take it away again and immediately moved it back, leaned closer and cleared his throat.
“Do twins run in the family?” Billie’s eyes went wide and shook her head while she stared up at me and looked overwhelmed.
“Not that I know of,” I replied, my eyes flitting over the image again.
“You see here,” he asked, and both Billie and I shook our heads, the image hadn’t appeared any different than previously.
“Damn it’s moved, just a second,” he advised us, and continued to search with the transducer again.
“There!” he exclaimed, and we fleetingly saw a second sac with another peanut inside.
“Twins, Mrs. Wild. A good six weeks I’d say, maybe closer to seven, but we’ll get a dating scan to confirm this. It would certainly explain the sickness you’ve been having. There is a condition called hyperemesis gravidarum. It’s a little less common in someone your age, but as it’s a twin pregnancy we would expect a higher level of Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin, or HCG, the hormone in the blood. This is the hormone which maintains the pregnancy. Once we rule out food poisoning, which I expect we will, then we can move forward to help Billie manage this.”
“So, this is morning sickness?” I asked, sounding as if his explanation was too incredulous to comprehend. I knew morning sickness could happen at any time of the day as my sister, Tammy, had been subjected to this with all of her girls.
“It’s more severe than morning sickness and if this continues we’ll need to monitor your weight and nutrition carefully, Billie. The good news is it improves in most cases by around week twenty.”
Dare Me, Part Two Dare Duet Sawyer and Billie: Unchained Attraction Series Page 22
