For weeks we had discussed our plans for the day when we broke the news to Colby. We had decided to tell him first, then there was Logan to consider. Billie, although apprehensive about telling him, had wanted Logan to know before we left for the Hamptons to share our news with everyone else. I figured her ex would be pissed about this, but I knew my family at least would be delighted.
“Hey, bud,” I waved, as he came out of his class from school. My eyes ticked over his long lanky legs and I immediately reflected on the first time I’d met him. Back then he was as tall as my chest, now his head skimmed my shoulders, and I figured he was going to be tall.
“Hi, Sawyer, what are you doing here? Is my mom all right?” My chest tightened at his concern and my heart clenched that at such a young age he still worried about his mom. Carefully I kept my smile fixed to my face, as I knew the way kids received news made all the difference on how they dealt with the subsequent fallout.
“Sure, she’s in the car. It was raining when we arrived so I figured she should stay where she was, and I’d jump out to pick you up.”
“Cool,” he said, hitching his bag on his shoulder and then quickly leaning in for a hug. I loved that this wasn’t a boundary for him and I prayed our growing relationship continued to thrive after we’d broken the news about the babies to him.
“We thought we’d grab a bite to eat in town. Carlos’ place?” I asked, knowing this was his favorite restaurant.
“For sure,” he grinned and ducked his head shyly for a second. A lump caught in my throat at how like his mom he was in that moment. It was as if his personality was dying to burst out of his body but his mind held him back.
Once we got in the car, Billie drove us the short distance to the Italian restaurant. It was early, but I’d asked Carlos if he would open just for us, so that we could break the news to him about the babies and our growing family.
We’d made the decision not to give him the news at home because if he had taken the news badly he would always associate where he was when he received it, hence the trip to the restaurant. After we’d been seated, Colby looked a little high, his bright eyes shining from our attention, and it dawned on me that with his visitation arrangements and my tours, the time we’d done things together had been all too brief.
After he’d ordered his food, we all sat talking for a few minutes. I noted Billie had grown quiet, and when I looked toward her, she was fidgeting nervously with her clothes. The last thing we needed was to feel anxious when we’d already decided to tell him. I cleared my throat and prepared to support Colby no matter what his reaction.
“You may be wondering why we’ve brought you here so early and there’s no one else in the restaurant.” Looking startled he glanced around him as if he’d been so focused on us he hadn’t noticed. He nodded and his face grew serious. I saw immediately he associated my comment with something negative, so I placed my hand over his on the table to center him. His gaze immediately fell on them before he looked back up at me.
“Your mom and I have some huge news, which we hope you’ll be happy about.” I gave him a second to take that part in before I continued. “Remember how excited you were when you found out you had more relatives? The girls, Brock, aunties and uncles?” He beamed and it lit up his face.
“We’re still going for Thanksgiving, right?”
“Absolutely, but before we get there, your mom and I needed to talk to you. We have something huge to share with everyone and we wanted you to be the first person to know.”
Colby stood up, his chair scraping along the floor as he pushed it away with the back of his legs and he became almost breathless with excitement. For a moment I held mine, wondering what he thought was going on.
“Mom, are you having a baby?” he asked, his eyes were wide and there was a fair amount of shock in his tone. Billie glanced toward me, then back at him, then me again, her eyes widening as if she needed my help.
“Would that be a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked, tentatively.
“If I said I kinda like babies, would that make me a wuss?” he questioned and cringed a little, which made me chuckle as I looked back at Billie, who had visibly deflated in her chair, relieved by his positive reaction.
“Not at all, I’m not averse to them myself. I loved when Tammy’s kids were tiny, Brock too.”
“I love Bethany she’s ultra cute,” he stated then his cheeks pinked up.
“Good to know. In that case that thing you wanted to hear might just blow your socks off, because you called it before we had a chance to tell you, but yes, your mom is having a baby, but you know what else?”
“We’re getting a puppy too?” he asked, breathing in rapid shallow breaths and so highly excited I thought he might pass out.
I chuckled because that one was totally unexpected. We’d never discussed having pets and he’d never asked. “No, bud, no puppy, not right now because we’re going to be very busy.”
“With the new baby, you mean?”
“What I mean is your mom isn’t just having one baby, she’s having two.” Billie jumped, startled when Colby leaned forward and slapped both his palms on the table, rattling the cutlery then sank heavily back to his chair.
“Two babies,” he muttered almost to himself before he looked up at Billie again. He frowned and worry creased his brow as the enormity of his mom’s situation sank in. Reaching over the table, he grabbed her hand and took it in his.
“Is having two babies dangerous?” He swallowed, stared at her intently, and I noticed the glint he’d had in his eyes when I’d met him from school had gone.
“No, not dangerous, I just have to be monitored by my doctors a little more often. There’s a higher risk of going into labor early, and if the babies aren’t in the best positions to come out naturally I may need a little help.”
“What kind of help?” he asked, looking nervously from his mom to me.
“A C-section where they open my tummy and lift the babies out, but all of that is in the future, and I’m sure that would only happen as a last resort. Loads of women give birth to twins every year, Colby. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I was more worried about how you’d feel about me being pregnant and accepting of our new family members than the birth.”
“I’m going to be a big brother,” he stated like he was trying out how the title sounded and I grinned, stole a glance at Billie, and winked as if to say, “we’ve got this,” and she let out a long breath.
“I’m so relieved you think it’s a great idea. These babies weren’t planned, Colby. I had only begun to discuss this with Sawyer when I went to see him on tour, but the decision has been made for us. I wasn’t aware I was already pregnant. I’d have liked to discuss your feelings about this first, but I guess miracles don’t wait until the timing is right,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“When are they coming?” he asked, his gaze darting between Billie’s face and her abdomen.
“They’re due around the 10th June, if they’re happy in here,” she replied, stroking her palm across her belly. “So twelve weeks have already gone, but as there are two babies they will probably come sometime in May or early June.”
“Wow. I’m keeping the same bedroom … I know it’s the biggest but—”
“Absolutely, as the eldest you will be Head Honcho,” I chipped in, immediately.
“What does that mean?” Colby asked, glancing between me and Billie with a fair amount of uncertainty.
“It means you have a privileged position being the eldest. Head Honcho means you are the boss. That gives you certain advantages over your siblings.”
“Like?” he pressed leaning closer.
“You’re older, which we all know already, but you’re in the awesome position of helping your siblings to grow into kind and caring individuals, and your mom and I are going to need a hand with two tiny babies to care for,” I said, being careful to include him from the beginning.
“I don’t do diapers,” he stated lik
e he was laying down the law, and I chuckled again.
“Nope, and when they are tiny your mom and I will do all that kind of thing, and the feeding, but we’re going to ask for your support to cuddle them and keep them amused sometimes, like when your mom is making dinner or as they grow, to read to them.” I sighed. “It’s kind of a fluid thing, you know we all just go with the flow and I’ve no doubts we’ll have good days and bad, like when they are teething or cranky, but if we all work together we’ll make it work.”
“I can do that,” he agreed, and it struck me again how caring and agreeable Colby was, but I wanted to convey that although I was asking this of him I didn’t want him to ever feel he was overwhelmed with duties to care for his siblings either.
“Your mom and I have been talking, and we want to make sure you never feel you aren’t getting enough attention when the babies get here, so on Thursdays when I’m home I’ll be on baseball duty and when I’m away I figured I’d ask your Uncle James, if he could help us out. How does that sound?”
“Good, and my dad needs to step up too,” he muttered, like he had some role to play with our children as well. I nodded because he was right, his father only had one child and his mom would be mother to three.
“Colby, I’m so proud of how you’ve taken this news. You’ve been my only child for all of this time, and I want to tell you how proud I am of you. No mother could have asked for a better son than I have with you.”
“No son could ask for a better mom either,” he shot right back, completely uninhibited in telling his mom how he felt about her. Tears sprang in her eyes and I jokingly rolled mine at Colby.
“Did you just make your mom cry?” I teased, before I reached over and grabbed his hand. Holding it tightly I gave it a little squeeze and shook my head. “There may be times when you change your mind about these little ones when they get here, but never underestimate the love your mom and I have for you. It may not mean you get as much attention at times, but if we are leaving you wanting for some don’t freak out or get jealous of the little ones because their needs appear so much greater. Talk to us, promise?” Nodding he glanced at his mom and then to me again.
“Okay, I promise I will.”
* * *
When Billie told Logan, I had wanted to be there to support her. She hadn’t wanted that, and although part of me had felt hurt, I accepted how difficult this must have been to do this and bit my tongue. I had hovered around outside the coffee shop they met at to offer support to my wife the moment she came out.
It wasn’t a long drawn out meeting and had lasted barely ten minutes. Stepping out of the café together, Logan turned toward Billie and hugged her. I felt relieved he’d appeared not to have dragged Billie down. She broke away from him, stepped back and turned to look at me.
My eyes flitted over her shoulder and I saw him walk away with his head hung low and when I looked back to my wife, I saw she was barely holding it together. Rushing to her side, I hugged her close to my chest and once again, there were tears.
Afterward she remained quiet and I left her to her thoughts, but later that evening, she disclosed that Logan had said, I was good for her, wished her and the babies well, and finished by saying he knew she had always wanted more children. Pity he had always known this and hadn’t cared enough to make this happen when they’d been together.
Chapter Thirty-One
Our drive to the Hamptons the day before Thanksgiving was uneventful, apart from Colby talking incessantly about the living arrangements for our extending family. By the time we’d arrived he had rearranged two of the guest bedrooms for our new additions and talked me into letting him help with the decoration.
I hadn’t planned on decorating them myself and figured with the fumes and whatnot I’d have someone do it on a weekend when we were all at our house by the beach. According to Colby dads always decorated nurseries for their new babies themselves.
“We’re going to tell everyone about the babies at Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, sweetheart, so remember to try and not let the news slip,” Billie coaxed her son, as we drove into the courtyard at the back of the house.
I had barely parked the car before Milly, Belle, and Brock burst through the back entrance door and scurried over to the back door where Colby sat.
“We thought you’d never get here. Belle’s been up since 4:30 a.m. asking where you were. My mom said if she gets up early again, she’s going to take Belle to the Brooklyn Flea Market and sell her to the first stall holder she can find.” Billie chuckled at Milly’s comment, it was so like Tammy to come up with absurd ideas to keep her kids in check.
The moment Colby got out of the car the girls were on him like bees on honey, and he was ushered into the house, leaving Brock, Billie, and I to close the car doors and take all our gear inside. Brock, bless him, volunteered to help, so Billie pulled the handle up on Colby’s camouflage suitcase and he proudly wheeled it inside.
The cacophony of pleasant chatter and greetings as we walked toward the main hallway left us in little doubt the family had been as pleased and excited to see us as the children were. Billie looked up at me and grinned, and I sensed her excitement about our not so little secret as well. As far as I was concerned Thanksgiving couldn’t have come quick enough. Keeping something this big to ourselves for so long had been killing me.
On four separate occasions someone offered Billie wine, cocktails, and spritzers. The first two times she refused, but on the third my father insisted because we weren’t driving anywhere and made her a mojito along with Tammy, Caitlin, and Lorna.
Billie toyed with the glass, holding it up to her lips and pretending to take sips until a moment when no one was looking, and I threw it down in one. It mixed horribly in my belly with the malt whiskey I’d already drunk. As the evening progressed no one appeared any the wiser and fortunately no one noticed when Billie’s champagne was swapped out for clear lemonade.
“I love how Belle follows Colby around, isn’t it sweet?” Tammy murmured close to my ear, while we watched the kids playing through the doors of the great room that led to the hallway.
“You won’t be saying that in ten years time when they’re curled up on a couch sharing earphones and making playlists for one another,” I said through a chuckle.
Tammy elbowed me in the ribs. “Sawyer, they’re cousins,” she mumbled, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
“By marriage, Tammy, not blood,” I replied.
“Good God is that even legal?” she asked, confused by my reply and I chuckled again.
Most of the evening went without a hitch, apart from when my mom, Tammy, and Caitlin were talking to Billie and Caitlin suddenly narrowed her eyes at Billie when she was pressed by my mom and relayed her version of being admitted to hospital with food poisoning.
I was quietly celebrating making it to bedtime when Billie got in beside me and burst into tears.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I urged, immediately sitting up beside her when I heard the sob that tore from her throat. When she didn’t reply, I slid my arms around her body and pulled her tight to me. “What’s going on, darlin’?” I asked, wracking my brain when she still hadn’t answered.
“Your mom and sisters are going to think I’m a bald-faced liar tomorrow,” she sniffed, and I couldn’t hold back the little laugh that bubbled in my throat.
“Why? Because we wanted to save our news so that everyone could learn about the babies together? James and Lorna weren’t here tonight, would you have rather they’d found out second hand?”
“Well … no,” she squeaked in a tiny voice, as she sniffed.
“These fucking hormones have a lot to answer for,” I mumbled, leaned forward and kissed the side of her head. She chuckled softly and I knew she had seen reason in my explanation for waiting.
“How come you are so frustratingly amazing?” she asked, her voice gave off a mock tone of annoyance.
“Because I have the perfect woman to be a better man for,” I replied in a s
marmy tone. Pulling back to look at me she shook her head.
“I don’t deserve you, Sawyer Michael Wild, not really. You should be with a woman who is your equal, someone vibrant and funny and…louder, someone who’s not afraid to disappoint people.”
“Jesus, seriously, Billie? My equal? I could live to be a hundred and not match up to you. Thank God, I don’t have my equal because now I have you, I could never settle for less. Now, if you’re done demeaning yourself I’m too tired to listen to you spouting shit from that beautiful mouth of yours, and I can think of far better uses for it.”
Slowly she shook her head and my heart ached that every now and again her confidence took a knock for no reason, but I guessed living in the shadows of everyone else as she had all her life until she met me, I could accept she wasn’t conditioned to change overnight. But I vowed I’d do everything humanly possible to help her accept the incredibly beautiful warmhearted person she was.
Lowering her gently onto her side, I lay down beside her and slowly stroked her hair. “Mrs. Wild, you are my everything and I never want you to forget this,” I whispered. “It took me almost thirty years to find you and I never knew what was missing from my life until the day I met you. Don’t doubt what we are for a minute because I am right where I want to be, and no matter what’s gone on in your past, you need to believe you are worthy of me, of us,” I said, pressing my palm to her abdomen. “Unlike the man from your past I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”
Seeing her eyes shine with fresh tears I quickly bent forward and kissed her. Those tears still fell and mingled with our lips, but somehow it only made what I said all the more touching. “No more doubts, tomorrow we’re going to blow my family away when we tell them what next year is going to bring.”
Chuckling, she nodded. “Indeed,” she said, quietly, and pressed her lips again to mine. “Indeed, we are.” Snuggling down close to me, she sighed and I held her safe in my arms as she settled. Thanks to feeling contented, plus the alcohol I had consumed, I fell asleep in no time.
Dare Me, Part Two Dare Duet Sawyer and Billie: Unchained Attraction Series Page 25
