“I know he’s my husband, Sebastian. You don’t need to remind me.” I can’t keep the hurt out of my voice. My body is willing me to stay still, but I’m desperate to turn and face him.
“So why, Isabel?”
“Because… he doesn’t satisfy me.”
“Why not, Isabel? Don’t hold back from me. That’s an order.”
Why did you have to say that? You know I want to obey you, but I don’t really know. Please!
“He doesn’t give me more. I’m just a means to get off. That’s not enough. I want to feel important, cared for…”
“I knew that before we even started this. That is why I offered to help introduce you to this lifestyle, safely.” Smack. “Now tell me why, or I will spank you until you do.”
Please, come on, Izzy. Just… get it out. Say whatever comes into your head. Focus on that and not your pussy, or his voice, his commands. You want this. You want him.
“With Phil, I feel nothing but resentment. He treats me as if I’m at his beck-and-call. Used and thrown aside until he wants to get off again. I can’t accept that anymore. When I’m with you, you take care of me, you see me. You see all of me, including my sexual needs. You instinctively know how I’ll react, and you guide me to a pleasure I’ve never know before.” My thoughts finally break through, suddenly surfacing as coherent words. “I want to put my trust in you, experience where you can take me. I won’t let Phil take what he wants from me anymore. My body, my feelings are mine to give, and I want to give them to you. I want to feel a connection—the connection that we have. I don’t think I can go back to the life I lived before I met you.” I exhale and hang my head, almost ashamed of my admission. I’ve just admitted that I don’t want my husband.
“Good girl. Now, run your hand over your nipples. Feel how hard they are, how aroused you are.” Seb’s words are clinical, and it chills me. I’m still reeling from my admission and take a few moments to follow his instruction. He doesn’t seem concerned at all, more as if he expected it. “Isabel.”
“Yes,” I squeak.
“You’re not following my instruction. You have your anklet on.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just…”
“Take a breath and stop thinking about what you just told me. We’ll have time for that later. Right now…” He punctuates his words with a hard tug on my hair and pulls my head back. “I want you to do exactly as I tell you. Understand?” He whispers the last word into my ear and I shudder all over, my body completely attuned to his voice.
He repeats the first set of instructions, and this time I follow them. He’s right. In response to the authority in his voice, I don’t have to think. I respond and although it’s my own hands on my body, they are there at Seb’s instruction.
“Run your hands down your body and slide your finger past your clit to see how wet you are. You’re turned on, Isabel. Your body wants this. You want this. You need this and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. It’s a beautiful thing to behold—a fragile yet strong woman kneeling before me. I can see the fight in you, your unsureness of what your body is telling you it needs. Feel yourself, Isabel.” Strong fingers slip between mine and move my hand to my pussy, holding my hand to my skin. His body slides behind me and his arms encircle me. He moves my hands, positioning me—his own marionette. My hands move to his command, exploring every inch of my body.
“Your body is so responsive. Feel, Isabel, and don’t let any preconceived ideas of how you ‘should’ behave get in the way of what you want.” His words soothe and calm my fears as they sink into my soul, but I desperately want him to touch me rather than guide me.
“Sebastian?” His name is my plea, and I hope he’ll understand what I’m asking. Seb has turned my world upside down, and after my confession I need his strength and guidance more than ever. I need to feel that the trust I am putting in him is founded.
“Spread your legs and put your hands on the floor.”
Oh yes, thank you!
The rustle of clothes tells me he’s undressing. It’s followed by the rip of a packet, and a moment later he returns and runs a hand down my back. My scalp prickles deliciously as he pulls my hair. I open my mouth in response and tilt my head. The head of his hard cock nudges at the entrance to my sex and his arm wraps around me, his finger seeking my clit. I moan at the joint assault on my throbbing flesh. He slides his cock over my creamy lips before he pushes slowly inside me. From this position I’m completely open to him, and he slides in deep—both physically and mentally.
He keeps one hand around my waist, his talented finger holding my clit captive. He grips my hip and thrusts into me. He slowly pulls out, balancing right on the edge of me before he slams back in. The jolt through my body adds to the sensation of being thoroughly taken. I release the tension I’ve been holding through my limbs and relax under his pleasure. I submit all of myself to him. He pushes deeper and harder each time he enters me. My arms are tiring, but I can’t drop to the floor. He’s going to force my orgasm. My sex is already oversensitive. My muscles tighten at the slide of his cock in my juices.
With his next thrust, the walls of my pussy spasm. My body pulses as the awareness of my impending climax sweeps my entire body. My cheeks flush, my breath labours, and my fingers dig into the rug. I let out a deep, throaty cry as he finally tips me over that blissful edge.
“Yeeesss.” Even after I’m spent, he continues his claim on my body, preventing me from relaxing completely after coming so hard. His body slaps against my behind with each jolt forward and nerves dance down my spine. I’m not sure I can keep still as he’s bucking against me. His fingers grip my hips, ruthless in his hold of me.
“Yes. There… Fuck.” His curse leaves his lips in a delicious growl, followed by a rumbling moan as he presses into me before he stills. My arms are dead weights, stiff and tired from being stretched out, and my knees are raw. After what feels like a lifetime, he pulls out of me and runs his hands up from my hips and back to my shoulders. His arms slide around me and he gently pulls me up and back into him until I’m sitting in his lap. He unties my blindfold and leans around to kiss the side of my face.
“Good?” he asks, his voice low and husky.
“Hmmm,” is all I manage. He’s literally drained the life out of me, and I am exhausted.
“Well, if it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me, I’ll take the ‘hmmm’ as a yes. Come on. I want you in my bed.”
My heart flutters at his words, but I don’t think about the meaning they could hold.
Seb carries me to his room and lays me on the bed. I turn to curl up, content with closing my eyes and breathing in his smell, but he has other plans.
“Oh no you don’t. I’m not done with you yet.” His stern, masculine voice cuts through the sleep invading my mind. I crack open my eyes to be greeted with his glorious, naked body before me. I can only look and admire. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen him completely naked, and I certainly enjoy the view. His thighs look hard, beautifully carved muscles covering his body. His shoulders are wide and he has a broad chest speckled with hair that leads down—in that lovely v shape—to his waist. He’s distracting and I want to run my hands all over him. “You, young lady, have been naughty this week.” His wicked grin stretches across his face and his eyes twinkle at me. “And naughty girls need to be punished.”
I’m now fully awake and my sex is already throbbing at his words.
“Hands above your head, Isabel.” He leans over me and captures my mouth with his. His hands force my arms straighter and run along every muscle in my arms. He quickly leans across the bed and fastens my hands together with a length of thin silk and then to the headboard. He leans back once his work is done and looks as if he’s admiring the view. “Very nice. Now, as you couldn’t make yourself come every day last week, I’m going to give you an extra lesson. But as I’ve tied your hands, you won’t be able to move or help yourself. Understand?”
I look up into his face and nod.
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“Good girl. And just so we’re clear, you won’t be making yourself come for the next week. That will be your punishment. And I expect you to follow it through this time, Isabel. It gives me great pleasure to see you obey my wishes.”
Crap! This is going to be torture. I whimper in response as he lies down next to me and runs soft kisses over my jaw and down my neck. It’s been less than ten minutes since he fucked a shattering orgasm out of me, yet I can feel myself getting hot. My body warms to his touch and desire washes over my skin, pooling between my legs. How is he this good? Experience, lots of experience. I frown at where my dark thoughts take me.
“Ow!” I gasp as Seb pinches one of my nipples between his teeth.
“Stay with me, Isabel. In this moment.” His voice centres me, while his fingers and lips continue their assault across my skin.
“Now, this week, you’re not allowed to do this, Isabel,” he whispers in my ear as his fingers trail down over my pubic mound and stroke my soft lips. “And you can’t do this.” He presses one finger down onto my clit and circles it before he runs the very tip of his finger farther down to feel how wet my pussy is. “And you definitely can’t do this.”
I cry out as he thrusts two fingers into me and I pull on my restraints in response.
“Oh, baby, you’re so wet for me, so ready. And you will deny yourself all week. Do. You. Under. Stand. Me?” He punctuates each syllable with a thrust of his fingers, deeper and harder every time. Then he stops and curls them around to rub my g-spot, sending me free falling into another orgasm.
“Fuck, Isabel, you’re beautiful when you come for me.” My eyes are closed and I struggle to bring my breathing back under control when he pushes my knees up towards my chest. “I’m going to take you hard and fast, Isabel. Don’t come this time. I want you frustrated.” He pauses to roll on a condom before pushing inside me. I was anticipating a violent thrust, but he takes his time until he’s sheathed inside my drenched pussy. My respite is short-lived, though, as he pulls back and slams into me.
I moan each time he drives back into me, and my body takes over. It feels so deep like this, but with every stroke he brings me closer, teasing me and riding me higher to my climax. I can already feel the tensing of my stomach muscles and my sex, and I can’t do anything to still the sensation.
“No you don’t, Isabel. Look at me. Breathe. Do not come.” He growls out his command.
I try hard to concentrate on his face, his eyes—now darker and brooding. I don’t think about what he’s doing. I want to give him this, to do as he wants. The tension is etched on his face and I pray that he’s close. I clench my jaw, biting back the release that I’m scared will explode in a matter of strokes. With my arms bound, I can’t do anything but accept. Pumping hard, he crashes into me for a last time, finding his own release before he stills, leaving me perilously close to the edge.
I whimper and gasp as he quickly pulls out of me.
“Good girl,” he murmurs against my lips as he consoles me with a kiss.
I ache. All over. I’m a ball of frustration. I’m desperate for him to touch me and give me my release. I try to squeeze my legs together in an attempt to find some relief.
“Oh no you don’t, Isabel.” Seb strides back into the bedroom. He pulls my hands free and tugs me towards him. He holds my face in his hands and looks deep into my eyes. I feel more vulnerable than I did when I was tied up. “No. You won’t make yourself come this week. Understand?” His tone gives no room for negotiation, clearly commanding me to obey, and although I want to come—desperately—I also feel soothed that he is giving me this to do. Even though I’m not sure about it, I want to do as he says. I nod my head in acceptance. “Okay then. Come.” He gently pulls me through his bedroom and out into the hall, unconcerned at my nakedness.
As we pass, my eyes automatically lock onto the photographs in the hall. I hate them. Are these photos of Seb’s previous conquests? Is this what I am? A conquest? How can I ask that? Until I’m divorced I have no right to become possessive or jealous. But I am.
My good—no, fantastic—mood from a few moments ago sours fast, but Seb hasn’t noticed. He squeezes my hand a little tighter and continues to walk towards my room. He leads me in, but doesn’t cross inside. I think it may be some unspoken rule that he has about my space after we’ve been together. But I want to stay with Seb and delight in his loveliness, not sit alone in my beautiful room.
“What’s wrong, Isabel?” Seb hasn’t missed my mood change after all.
“Nothing.” Not looking at him, I walk over to find the robe hanging in the wardrobe. My nakedness is suddenly very uncomfortable.
“Isabel, you need to talk to me and tell me how you feel. This won’t work if you aren’t honest with me. I understand that you find it hard to express your feelings, but you need to work harder at it.”
Won’t work. I spin around and look at him standing in the doorway. “No, really, I’m fine. I’m just tired. You kinda wore me out.” I try to sound a little sassy in my response.
“If you’re simply telling me what you think I want to hear then we will have to rethink things pretty damn quick.”
“No, no. I go into my head quite often. I’m alright. I just checked out a little.”
“Okay, but you know I like to check on you. This is new to you, and you need to tell me if I go too far. Look at me, Isabel. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sebastian.” I’m being honest in my response. I wanted and enjoyed everything he did to my body and can’t wait until we are together again. It’s my selfish insecurities that are putting my mood off.
Seb leaves me in my room, but I don’t have the energy to get changed yet. I cuddle up on the bed for a moment. The changing directions of my emotions are taking their toll on me. On so many levels, I’m not dealing with them. My actions, however, are clear. I am sitting in Seb’s apartment after he fucked me senseless and fulfilled my innermost desires. I am taking something that I want for a change, rather than being the invisible wife to a man who clearly doesn’t love me. That thought resonates around my head for a few moments before I get up from the bed.
Seb is sitting in his chair again as I enter the lounge. I move to join him, kneeling down by his feet like the other night. He seemed to like this last time, and I liked it when he was stroking my hair.
“There you are. All okay?”
“Sure, just tired. Thank you.” Seb hands me a glass of what I think is sparkling water as I get comfy, and sure enough, he starts to stroke my hair.
“Did you have any specific expectations before we started this? About what ‘more’ meant for you?” His question catches me off guard and I have to muddle my way through the fog of feelings to find what they were before Seb.
“Well, I knew I wanted to give up control, to be bound and not have to initiate or direct the sex. I didn’t want to be responsible for giving myself an orgasm. But I wanted the fantasy as well. The passion and desire, the intimacy.”
“Nothing more than that?”
“No, not really. Is that wrong?”
“Oh no, sweetheart. I wanted to check in with you. I’ve been testing how much of the BDSM element you crave. Introducing them and giving you first-hand experience. I’m going to continue to do that.” The fact that he wants to keep seeing me eases my mind and I relax a little more. It’s easy expressing myself like this, at his feet. I’m very happy to sit by him. A tiny nagging thought is burrowing into my mind, though. What are Seb’s expectations?
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You may.”
“Do you have any expectations of this? Of me?” With my heart in my mouth, I wait for his answer, clinging to his words from a moment ago.
“In truth, that really depends on you.”
“I don’t understand.” Why can’t he ever answer me straight?
“No, I don’t suppose you do. I’ve told you that I saw something special in you, Izzy. Well, you’ve proved my initial assumption
of you right. You are wonderfully submissive and probably haven’t realised that until very recently. Having said that, I’ve put myself in a compromising position by engaging in these activities with a married woman. I’m not proud of that, yet I’m not prepared to give you up. After talking to you and getting to know you, I simply couldn’t turn my back on you knowing how easily I could help you find the sort of sexual experience you were seeking.”
This is the first time I’ve gotten a good sense of how Seb is feeling about our situation. I’m both moved by and fearful of his words. The consequences of my actions are never far away.
“How did you know?”
“Know what?”
“That this is what I wanted? That I was… submissive?” I blush, acknowledging Seb’s description of me.
“Lots of things, really. Initially our mutual online interests, what you told me about your relationship. Plus a few things you’re probably not aware of.”
I hear the smile in his voice at the last point, and I am pleased I can lighten his mood. I can only guess at the wealth of knowledge he has to be so adept at deciphering and reading people. I think of the photographs in the hall and again wonder whether they are of women he’s been with.
“Izzy, I’m going to be in Manchester on Thursday and Friday this week, so I don’t think I’ll be able to see you again until next Saturday.” His tone and manner have returned to business, the warmth in his voice from a moment ago now in shadow. He speaks to me with no sign of disappointment. I try to think about my week ahead and realise I’m in Liverpool Thursday night for an early-morning training session on Friday. “That’s okay. I’ll be in Liverpool on Thursday evening anyway.”
Seb’s hand stills in my hair for a moment before he continues.
“Well, that’s fortunate. Maybe we can make the best of our situations. Would you meet me in Manchester?”
Really?
“Yes,” I respond before I realise I’ve opened my mouth. I turn around and grin at him before I climb into his lap to kiss his soft lips. I’m giddy with excitement. He wants to see me even though we’re both away. My unsettled nerves are forgotten in his embrace. My mouth closes over his lips, and he circles his hands around my waist to pull me in deeper until I’m as close as I can be. “Thank you,” I whisper to him. He pulls back slightly so he can look down at my face.
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