More

by Rachel De Lune

  My emotions are beyond saving at this point. I’m a complete mess. “Please, Seb… don’t walk away from me.”

  “Izzy, now is not the time.”

  “What was all of this about then, Sebastian? Proving that you can make me do whatever you want?” I bite out, regretting the words as soon as they pass my lips.

  “Isabel, don’t push me. I’m not going to fuck you here, even if you beg me. We’ll talk later.” He takes a step away from me and I miss him instantly. I pull my dress down and try to compose myself. Seb holds me in an icy stare, so different from his normal warmth. I’m hurt and confused. I feel as if I’m going to break into a thousand brittle pieces. I want to leave. I quickly turn and leave the room—and Seb—and head back to find Phil.

  “There you are. Where have you been?”

  “I’m going to get a taxi. I’m not well. I’m sorry.”

  “Fine. You’ve gotten out of it. I asked you to do one thing, Izzy. One thing!” he shouts at me, and it actually helps me fight the tears.

  I pick up my coat and rush to a waiting taxi. I give the driver my home address. Home? Is it really home? I live there, but it’s not where I want to be. Phil and I should have ended even before I met Seb. I need to make Phil see that we are truly over. Divorce. That’s the one thing I’ve not thrown at him. Maybe he’ll listen then. The icy look in Seb’s eyes haunts me and I hate the way I left. I need to explain to him that I didn’t want to be there with Phil. I have to tell him how I feel, that I love him even if he’s had enough of my cowardly behaviour. I lean forward and address the driver. “I’ve changed my mind. I want to go to a different address.”

  I’m at Seb’s door before I know it. I look around at his elegant furniture, the photographs on the wall, the table, the breakfast bar. Even with his explanation, I still hate those photographs and how they make me feel. Walking into his room, I crawl into his bed. My mind runs through the horrible accusations I threw at him. All I can do is hope that he doesn’t hate me, that he won’t send me away again and that he might love me.

  I hear the door open and close. I scurry from his room, not wanting to be caught somewhere I shouldn’t be. Stopping at the threshold to the lounge, I look up. He stands across the room, his eyes focused on me. I cannot read anything in his stern expression. His tie is loose around his neck, the top button of his shirt undone, and he looks as handsome as ever. His eyes are clear and hooded with lust. He takes four strides towards me. He crushes his lips to mine and I melt. The force of his kiss doesn’t stop. His weight forces me back and I go with him, back into his room. As he closes the door behind us, he spins me and presses me against the wood. His cock presses hard into my bum, and he encases my wrists in his hands and holds them tightly above my head.

  “Why am I not surprised you’re here? Why do you push me, Isabel?” He doesn’t let go of my hands as he growls the words. “You want this, don’t you, Isabel? What you begged me for earlier?” I can only groan in response. He moves my wrists so they are held in one hand and he peels my dress from my upper body. He doesn’t take it off, though. With his hand, he pulls the hem of my dress up so it leaves my bottom exposed. “This is what you want, Isabel. You want sex with me. You crave it, you need it, and you’re already dripping with want for me. Your body is crying out for it.” He runs a finger through my wet pussy before his fingers delve inside me.

  “Ahh”

  “Good girl.” He unzips his trousers.

  I mentally beg him to take me. I want him to show me that I’m his. I want him to dominate me. I forget everything else from this evening and relax under his hands. He pauses only to cover himself with a condom before taking me. He thrusts hard into me from behind with my hands still above my head, and I arch into it. He lets my arms go and holds my hips viciously as I steady myself against the door. His lips attack my neck, my shoulder, and my ear, biting and licking. There is no gentle. No cherishing. No holding my hand and guiding me. This is Seb taking me and showing me that I’m his, if not in every way, then in this way. He’s taking me exactly how I need, how I want. I can feel that I’m not going to last long. The intensity is too much. I want him too much.

  “Yes, please…”

  “Come, Izzy.” Hearing my name on his lips does it, again.

  “Mmm.” My eyes roll back in my head and my mouth opens as my body tenses and grips me in my climax. Heat floods through my veins. Seb pistons into me, hard and fast. He hilts himself once more before spilling into me as he reaches climax. The small movements of my hair blowing from his breath tickle my face as he remains close. He steps away quickly to sit on the bed. I’m left leaning against the door, slowly calming down.

  Seb holds his head in his hands. I go to him and kneel down.

  “What’s wrong?” I whisper to him.

  “Isabel… God, you make me question everything I promised myself. This shouldn’t have happened.” He stops for a moment, and I’m afraid of what he’ll say next. “I can’t… I can’t do this, Isabel. Izzy. I can’t. Not when you keep going back to him.” He looks up at me, his face a study in pain. “I told you I wouldn’t let you slip through my fingers again, but I also told you I don’t share. In the beginning, I was prepared to accept that you would leave at the end of the night, because I wanted to help you grow, to realize what you need sexually. But I can’t help you anymore. I can’t deal with you still being with your husband. I don’t want you if you keep going back to him. I deserve better. I deserve more.”

  My stomach sickens and my body shakes as the meaning of his words filters in.

  “You acted out of jealousy tonight? Well, think how I must feel. How I do feel. Fuck! I want your complete submission. To me. All of you.”

  “And I want to give it all to you.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes, yes of course I do. But I don’t know how you feel. About… us.” I try bravely to ask the question, to find out whether he feels the way I think he does about me. He pulls me up to sit on the bed with him before he walks away.

  “Yes, you do.”

  “No, I don’t!” I shout back at him. “I don’t know. You haven’t told me.”

  “Well, you haven’t either, Izzy. Hell, this started with you wanting to experience what your body has been craving, what you’ve always longed for. Someone to care for you and show you the way through your sexual submission. Well, I’ve shown you. I’ve shown you how good surrendering can be. I’ve shown you how submission can join two people beyond sex. That’s what I want. Now I want more.” I pause and hold my breath at the possibility of hearing what I’m longing to hear. But he doesn’t say it.

  “Seb…?”

  “I’m sorry, Izzy, but I can’t do this.”

  “No…” My mind panics. “I love you, Sebastian,” I blurt. He turns to face me.

  “I know you do, sweetheart. Thank you for telling me, but that doesn’t help. You still return to Phil. I think you should take some time and think about what you want, Izzy. Really think.” He looks at me, my dress half on, half off from his impatience to fuck me, to claim me. “I think you need to leave.”

  “No!” I scream, but it has little effect. The aquamarine of his gaze is tinged with pain and darkness rather than the bright blues and greens that normally shine back.

  He doesn’t say anything further, just leaves me and closes the door behind him.

  I’m crushed. My tears stream down my face. The rejection and guilt and myriad other emotions rage through me. This is so much worse than when I left him drunk a few weeks ago. I told him I loved him and it still isn’t enough. All my fears about what could happen have come to fruition, and it’s my fault.

  I won’t be going back to Phil. Seb’s right. I’m a coward and I’m selfish. I’ve done all of this to myself. What makes everything worse is that I never considered what this has been doing to Seb.

  I hoped that he would feel the same towards me, yet never considered how he felt about the situation. My feelings were all that mattered. I
can’t expect Seb to love me until I’m worth loving.

  That starts with me being honest with myself and with Phil.

  Excerpt from Forever More

  “Are you ready to see me, Izzy?”

  “Yes, Please…” I beg, and I’m not ashamed.

  “Izzy, I’ll warn you. Right now I’m caught between wanting to spank you senseless and worshipping you. It’s been a long week.”

  “I’ll love both from you. Please, Seb.” He sighs audibly. “I can come over, I still have your key.”

  “I’m away in Manchester at the moment. When will you need to be home?”

  “Boxing Day evening. Are you staying at the same hotel?”

  “Yes, I’ll meet you in the bar. Drive safely, Isabel. That’s an order.”

  Nearly four hours later I’m parked and have my bag in hand as I walk through the entrance. There is a huge Christmas tree in the lobby, decked with beautiful glass ornaments. I have been distracted from the regular goings-on of Christmas and this sight makes me smile.

  Now, standing looking at the tree, meeting the man I love for a rendezvous of passion, I feel Christmassy. The misery of the last week has evaporated. The conversations ahead of us won’t be easy, but I’m not afraid. Not anymore.

  I’m nervous and the butterflies are back in residence. Walking through the lobby I notice it’s nearly deserted. The combination of Christmas Eve and the late evening have emptied the hotel. Seb told me to meet him in the bar—the bar where we met the first time at the hotel—and it seemed fitting. I sit at one of the bar stools and start twiddling with my ring. My stomach is churning and I long to be wrapped in his arms. Please, please, please!

  I texted him as soon as I parked the car, but so far nothing back—it’s torture. There isn’t even a barman I can order a drink from, so I’m stuck with only my own thoughts for company.

  I feel him before I see him. All the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I start tingling in anticipation. “Merry Christmas, Isabel,” he purrs at my ear, sending shivers through my body. He doesn’t touch me, just hovers his mouth by my cheek. I tilt my head back and up towards him. “I think we should go upstairs. Come on.” He steps back and offers his hand out to help me, which I gratefully accept.

  His handsome frame holds a tension I wish I could erase. In jeans and a white shirt he makes my mouth water. His stubble has grown out a little and I itch to feel its scrape across my skin. He collects my bag and leads me to wait for the lift. He doesn’t look at me or say a word as we wait, and I can’t help but shift from foot to foot. I’m eager to be with Seb, for him to lay my worries to rest, about us and our future. If we have a future. The separation from him that I felt in our conversation is still there, bubbling through my veins.

  The ‘ding’ makes me jump. Why am I feeling like this? Seb steps us into the lift car, dropping the bag. As the doors close, he pulls me into his arms and engulfs me in a huge cuddle. He crushes me to his chest and just squeezes hard. I melt at his sign of affection, but it is just what I need. He shuffles me a few feet without breaking his hold and he presses the emergency stop button. “For the next day, our time together here is just for us, Izzy. I want us to enjoy our time together without thinking about anything else. Our bubble again. Can you give me that?” I stare up him and know that he holds all of my trust. I’ll do what Seb wants. “And I won’t be calling you Isabel from now on.” My eyes close and the tears run freely at his words. Our bubble! I remember that we’ve only really spent the night together one other time. Now, I’ll be getting to spend Christmas waking up next to him.

  My tears are happy tears, and I struggle out of his hold to wrap my arms around him. I lift my mouth to his and kiss him. I kiss him and it’s wonderful. His lips crush into mine, expressing the passion that is always between us. His lips tell me how much more he wants. We show each other our base need through this kiss—his tongue pushing and penetrating me. He takes control, holding my jaw, and slows my overzealous attack on him. He turns the kiss into a slow, sensuous act. I’m desperate to be under him.

  “What do you say, Izzy?” he reminds me.

  “Yes….please,” I mumble out, agreeing to his conditions. I would have agreed to anything after that kiss.

  He pulls back, cradling my head in his hands. His beautiful aqua eyes bore into mine, past the teary sheen. A promise. Unspoken between us that the next few days will be an indulgence for both of us.

  About Rachel

  Rachel De Lune writes emotionally driven contemporary and erotic romance.

  She began scribbling her stories of dominance and submission in the pages of a notebook several years ago, and still can’t resist putting pen to real paper. What ifs are turned into heartfelt stories of love where there will always be a HEA.

  Rachel lives in the South West of England and daydreams about shoes with red soles, lingerie and chocolate. If she’s not writing HEAs, she’s probably reading them. She is a wife and has a beautiful daughter.

  For every woman who's ever desired more.

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  Visit her website www.racheldelune.com

  Books By Rachel De Lune

  The Evermore Series

  More

  Forever More

  A Little Something More

  Surrender to More

  More Than Desire

  Finally More

  Standalone

  Reminiscent Hearts

  The Break

  With Charlotte E. Hart

  Innocent Eyes