I sucked the water down quickly, trying to decide between my unquenchable thirst and my desire to hear what my new husband was doing, who he was talking to.
I set the glass back on the table when it was empty, quieting my breathing so I could listen. I couldn’t make out the sounds. His voice was there, and the conversation was definitely one-sided, but I couldn’t make out a single word.
I sank back onto my pillow, arms over my head as I waited for him to return for me. When the door finally opened, it wasn’t soon enough. He looked surprised to see me awake.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He glanced at his phone. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“I just missed you,” I said, patting the bed where his body should’ve been. He pounced down next to me, kissing my fingers, then my arm, and working his way up to my cheek.
“Not as much as I missed you,” he whispered in my ear before placing a kiss there as well.
“Who were you talking to?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
He let a heavy sigh through his nose. “My mom.”
I chewed my lip, the anger from the night before hitting me once again. “Everything okay?”
His fingers went to the bridge of his nose in frustration. “No. It’s my dad. Mom doesn’t think he’s going to make it much longer. Like…seriously this time. When she got back home, the nurse said she doesn’t know if he’ll make it another night. He’s on more morphine than ever before, and she said he’s not making any eye contact with her, he won’t squeeze her hand. I think this is it.” I could tell he was trying not to break in front of me, and it was killing me not to be able to say whatever it was he needed to hear.
“Should we go out there?” I asked, furrowing my brow.
“What?” He seemed to consider it, but quickly shook his head. “No, of course not. We’re supposed to be leaving for Mexico tonight. They won’t hold the ship for us.” His finger grazed my forehead as he moved hair from my eyes. “It’ll be okay. We’ve known this was coming for years now. Every moment I’ve had with him since he was diagnosed four years ago has been on borrowed time. I just have to be grateful for that.”
“He’s your dad, Jack. We can go on our honeymoon anytime. This is important.”
He finally met my eyes, and I could see that I’d been right, that was what he needed me to say. “But the cruise is already paid for. We can’t just be out that money.”
“That’s why we bought the insurance,” I said, running my palm across his arm. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
“Are you sure? I’m so sorry.”
“I’m positive. This is more important. Besides, I’d like to meet him. And your mother probably needs us right now. I can’t imagine going through that alone can be good for her.”
He strained to lean forward and kiss my lips. “How did I get so lucky?”
I smiled at him. “I ask myself that every day.”
* * *
Later that day, we arrived in Herrinville. Jack’s parents’ house, which he’d described as plain and traditional compared to my Victorian mansion, was anything but plain. The two-story Tudor sat back away from the road with a long, paved path leading up to its front door. Jack and I made our way up the path. To my surprise, Jack knocked rather than just walking in as I had always done with my parents’ home.
He stared up at the window above the door, waiting patiently for us to be allowed inside. The air was cool around us, the ground wet from the recent rain. It was a gloomy day, and the black of the house only added to that. Next time we came to visit, I was going to ask Jack if it would be okay for us to bring some flowers to brighten up the drab home. Though I’d use different words, of course.
Finally, we heard noise from inside the house. When the door opened, Coralee’s head popped out. “Oh, good, it’s you. Come in, come in.” She waved her hand hurriedly, as if we were taking too long.
Stepping through the door was like stepping into an oven. The house was easily ninety degrees, a staggering comparison to the fifty-degree day outside. I pulled my jacket off in a hurry, already feeling sweat beading around my hairline and the back of my neck.
“Is your thermostat broken?” Jack asked, removing his jacket as well.
“No, why?” Coralee asked, looking confused. She was dressed in a white, cashmere sweater and gray slacks. Her hair looked as though she’d spent hours on it and, try as I might, I couldn’t find one drop of sweat on her. Was she actually comfortable in this temperature? “Are you both hot? I’ve been keeping it warmer in here because your father gets so cold.” She placed a finger to her lips. “I could probably find some extra blankets for him if you’d like me to lower the temperature…”
“Don’t be silly,” I said, shaking my head. “No. We’ll be fine. I’m already feeling better.” It was a lie. I felt like I was melting, but that wasn’t my place to say.
Taking me at my word, Coralee walked past me and headed up a staircase and down a hallway to our left. “Jack, would you mind having her wait out here? The room your father’s in gets a little crowded with so many of us in there.”
Jack looked at me. “I think we can fit all of us,” he said.
I placed my hand on his arm to keep him from arguing. “It’s okay. I’ll be right here.” I pointed to a bench in their hallway. “Whenever you need me.”
He didn’t look comfortable with the idea, but Coralee had already gone into the room at the end of the hall. Eventually, he kissed my head. “I won’t be in there long,” he promised, and with that, he was gone.
The hallway was dark, and I couldn’t get a good idea of where anything was, so like I had said, I sat down on the bench in the hallway and pulled out my phone, opening my Kindle app.
It was hard to focus on the story, hard to lose myself within its pages while there were hushed voices and secrets being told just a few rooms away. I wanted to know what was going on. Maybe that was selfish, but I’d given up my honeymoon to be there and I’d left my daughter with a sitter. I’d made sacrifices to be there with my husband, and I was being left out like I was a stranger, rather than family.
So, thirty-two minutes later, when Jack finally emerged from the room, I tried to put on a smile and pretend I wasn’t incredibly frustrated. I stood as he approached.
“How is he?” I asked.
“Not good,” he admitted, his eyes watery. “I think she’s right. It seems like this could be the end.” He took my hand and kissed my knuckles, and my anger faded away. “Would you like to meet him?”
I nodded, my palms sweating as he led me into the room. I tried to conceal my gasp when I saw him. Rather, what was left of him. I couldn’t believe he was still alive.
Jack’s father, Malcolm, was very frail for a man carrying such a strong name. He was shorter than I’d expected, his thin legs like little rods under the white sheet. His skin was practically translucent, and I could see the veins running through each part of him. There were lesions and red patches across his face, hands, and arms, and warts growing around his eyebrows. It took a strength I didn’t know I possessed to keep looking at him when all I wanted to do was look away.
Coralee had disappeared, I assumed through the door across from his bed, so it was just Jack and me alone in the room.
“Dad,” Jack said softly, “there’s someone I want you to meet.” He sat down in the chair next to the bed, pulling me onto his lap. His free hand left my lap and reached for his father’s fingers. He rubbed a thumb over his knuckles, his voice cracking as he spoke. “This is Loren, my wife.”
His father gave no response, except to keep his chest moving up and down with each breath. Jack moved his hand back from his father’s and took mine once more. “I hate seeing him like this,” he said. “I used to think he was unbreakable.”
I leaned my head toward his, wrapping my arms around his neck to allow him to cry if that was what he needed. He leaned into me, and I felt his emotional weight being transferred.
I looked
up, pulling away from him slightly when Coralee entered the room again, carrying a tray of medicine.
She set it on the nightstand next to the bed, offering a look of sympathy to her son. She pulled a vial of medicine from the top drawer of the nightstand.
“Don’t you have someone who does that for him?” I asked, the question leaving my mouth before I’d planned for it to. “Like, a nurse?”
She pursed her lips. “We’ve hired nurses before for his daily care, but they don’t take care of him like I do. In the end, this was just easier.” She lifted a syringe to the bottle, measuring out a dose, and squeezed it into his IV.
He twitched, but only slightly, his breathing becoming less labored and Jack shuddered underneath my arm.
“I can’t believe how bad he’s gotten,” he said. “I should’ve come sooner. I should’ve been here more.”
Coralee set the medicine down, hurrying over to sit on the edge of the bed in front of us. She lifted her son’s chin so he would be forced to look at her. “You can’t blame yourself, Jack. Your father didn’t want you here, wasting your life away waiting for him to either get better—which he won’t—or die—which he will regardless of whether you’re here or not. Your father knows you love him, son. And he loves you. He loves you enough that he wants better for you…he wants you to have your own life,” she smiled at me, “your own love.”
Jack nodded. “I just hate this.”
She patted his shoulder. “I know, son. It’ll be over soon enough.”
No one else saw it and, to this day, I’m not entirely sure I did either, but in that moment, as she spoke the words, I could’ve sworn I saw Malcolm glance her way for just a second. In his eyes, I could see only fear.
Chapter Ten
Loren
It took two more weeks for Malcolm to finally pass away, but when he did, it shattered everything I thought I knew about my family.
Jack, my always calm and peaceful husband, became a mess of grief and anger. At the funeral, it seemed all he and Coralee could do to hold it together. Once it was over and we were back at the house, surrounded by the memories of what once had been, the two grew withdrawn and bitter.
The next day, when it was time for us to return home, Jack wasn’t up to it. I knew it from the worried look in his eye. He needed more time to process, but I couldn’t leave Rynlee home with her sitter any longer, and I couldn’t get ahold of Meredith. There was no telling what was happening with the store, and I was beginning to get worried. We had to go. The choice was nonexistent.
When I was able to approach him in the hall, for the first time without Coralee’s presence, I asked the question I prayed he’d say no to. “Do you need me to leave you here?”
He was silent for a moment, moving a hand to my shoulder. “I don’t want to be without you.”
It wasn’t an answer. “I know, but I can’t leave Rynlee with Sarah much longer. She’s already done us a huge favor by keeping her this long.”
He hung his head down, resting it on my shoulder, and I heard his answer in my ear. “I just need more time. I can’t leave her alone.”
“I know,” I said, batting back tears of my own. We’d been married less than a month, but already I was so attached to him. Rynlee was so attached to him. The thought of going home to a house without him, parenting alone again, when I’d had such a clear vision of what my life would be after the wedding, after I’d let him into my home, life, and family for good—knowing none of those things were going to happen as I’d planned, was enough to destroy me. I was a planner. I liked neatness and order, but there was nothing I could do to clean up this mess. At least not yet. Jack had to stay and I had to return. As much as it hurt, it had to be done. “You stay for a while, take care of things here, and I’ll go home and do the same there.”
He lifted his head to look at me. “Are you sure?”
“Mhm,” I told him, hoping he wouldn’t notice my tears.
“You’re crying.” He brushed a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “I’ll come home.”
“No, no,” I argued, though that was desperately what I wanted. “I’ll be okay, I swear. I’m sad to leave you; I wish it could be different.”
“Me too,” he said. “Are you sure about this?”
Before I could answer, Coralee’s footsteps could be heard coming from her bedroom. I kissed his lips in a hurry. “It’ll be fine,” I promised.
Oh, how wrong I was.
* * *
“Ryn?” I called through the quiet house. I heard her footsteps rushing toward me, like music to my ears.
She appeared from the kitchen, fresh jam on her cheeks as she lunged into my arms. “Mommy!” I squeezed her body into mine, so thankful to see her.
“I missed you, baby,” I told her, brushing her hair from her eyes so I could plant a kiss on her temple. Sarah was just a few steps behind her, both hands resting on her swollen belly.
“You’re home early. I thought you wouldn’t be in until tonight,” she said, glancing over my shoulder. “Where’s Jack?”
I stood, giving Sarah a hug. “He decided to stay for a while, until things…settle down.” I glanced down at Rynlee. “How’s she been?”
“An angel,” Sarah said, blowing a piece of hair from her eyes. “She missed you both, though. How were things…there?”
“Tense,” I said. “But that was expected. I think maybe it’s a relief that he’s gone and they feel guilty about that in some ways, you know? Jack, at least. I can’t tell with Coralee.”
She nodded. “That’s understandable. Loss, even when it’s expected, rocks your center of gravity for a while.”
“You’re right, I just hate it for them both.” I scooped up my daughter from the floor and balanced her on my hip. “What do I owe you?”
Sarah shook her head, waving her hand. “No, you don’t owe me for this. It was no trouble, and I could use the practice for when this little one comes along.”
“No, I meant to pay you. I’d never expect you to keep her for this long for free.”
She rubbed her swollen belly again. “Just promise you’ll keep him at some point and give Dalton and me a fair chance at a date night, and we’ll call it even.” She laughed. “Seriously, he’s on nights this week, so I had nothing else to do. This was a nice change for me.”
I hugged her again. “You’re a lifesaver. I can’t thank you enough for doing it on such short notice again. Speaking of, have you heard from Meredith yet?”
She frowned. “No, I figured you knew what was going on by now. My mom said the shop’s been closed.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes, frustration filling me. It was one thing to disappear on a whim and leave me without a sitter, Rynlee wasn’t her problem. But to leave the shop without anyone working was a whole other issue. “Okay, I’ll figure it out.” I mentally made a note to check in with the latest guy she’d been seeing—Beau? Was that his name? Bill?—if I didn’t hear back from her soon. I’d have to check her Facebook to contact him. If she wasn’t with him, I’d look up the touring schedule of a few of her favorite bands. She’d followed an entire tour from state to state a few years back, but that was only once. I wanted to say I was surprised by her disappearance when she was supposed to be keeping Rynlee, but I couldn’t put anything past her, as much as I loved her. She was flighty through and through. Honestly, though, I felt a bit betrayed by this, especially when it concerned the business. I’d honestly believed those days were behind us. It had been more than a year since she’d done anything this reckless, especially without giving me a warning. I thought the shop was grounding her a bit. “Thanks again,” I said, noticing Sarah was still standing there, waiting for me to say something else. “I’ve got it from here.”
She smiled, bending down slowly to give Rynlee a hug. “See you later, kiddo,” she said, ruffling her hair. With that, she waddled past me, patting my shoulder as she went, and headed out the door.
I pulled my phone from my pocket, sending Meredith a
quick text.
Where have you been? Need to hear from you ASAP! Xx
I shoved the phone back in my purse and leaned down to scoop Rynlee up. “Did you miss me?” I asked.
“Only a little,” she teased, her fingers held up to show a tiny amount.
“Only a little, huh?” I asked, tickling her belly until she squealed in defeat.
“I was only kidding,” she informed me, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. “I always miss you, Mommy. Where’s Jack?”
“He had to stay with his mommy for a little while, sweetheart.”
“But why?”
“Because she was sad and he needed to be there for her.” I carried her into the kitchen and placed her on the counter, sending up a silent thank you to Sarah as I stared into my empty sink. The woman truly was a godsend. I’d have to remember to send her a thank you basket from the store.
Speaking of, I desperately needed to get down there and see what was going on there.
“Hey, do you want to go on a car ride with Mommy?” I asked, scooping her back up and heading for the door.
“Sure,” she said. “Why was his mommy sad?”
“Because she lost someone very important to her, baby.”
“Who?”
I set her down, pulling a jacket on over her shoulders and pulling my keys from my pocket. “Her husband. Jack’s father.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh, no. Poor Jack.”
“Yes,” I agreed sadly. “Poor Jack, but honey, he’ll be okay.”
“Will he come back and stay with us again?”
I nodded, our steps down the stairs of our porch bouncing us along the way. “Of course he will, Ryn. He lives here now. With us. He’d never want to be anywhere else.”
“Merlin misses him,” she said, slumping her head down on my shoulder, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Merlin was the only one who missed him. Based on the sad eyes that met mine as I buckled her in and the fact that they’d grown so close in such a short time, I’d say the answer to that was no.
The Mother-in-Law Page 5
