by Force, Marie
“We can’t hide out. That’s not how I want to live.”
“I can’t protect you from what they’ll say, the questions they’ll ask. They’ll violate you all over again.”
“Then let me do the interview so I can put my story out there in my own words beforehand. There won’t be anything left to say after that.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I know, but I want to put an end to this story so we can get on with our lives.”
“What if it has the opposite effect? What if it throws gas on the fire and makes things worse?”
“If we make it very clear that we’ll never again discuss it, that should put an end to it for us. Others can say what they will, but it’ll be a dead subject for us.”
His cheek twitches with tension as he contemplates what I’ve said. After a long pause during which I have no idea what he’s thinking, he says, “Carolyn Justice. She’s the only one I trust to handle this properly.”
Carolyn Justice is a goddess, and I’ve been a fan of her show for years. “Okay.”
“You’re sure, Nat? Please don’t do this for me. My career and I will be just fine if we never say a word about this to anyone.”
“I’m sure, and I’m doing it for us, so we can have some peace and put a stop to the frenzy. If we do the interview and answer all their questions, then maybe they’ll move on to something else, and we can go to the SAG Awards without worrying about getting slammed with questions.”
Another long silence ensues. “I’ll have Liza set it up.”
“Are you angry at me?”
His eyes widen with surprise. “Angry at you? Why in the hell would I ever be angry at you?”
“Because I’m pushing you to do something you don’t want to do.”
He places his hands on my shoulders and draws me into his embrace. “I am not angry at you. I could never be angry at you. I think you’re fearless and fabulous and you amaze me every day with your strength and your courage and your fortitude. I’m angry that you’ve been put in this position in the first place. I’m angry at people who feed off the pain of others. I’ll never understand how someone entrusted with your most personal business could sell you out to the highest bidder.” He looks down at me and kisses my forehead. “I am not angry at you.”
I snuggle up to him. “You’ve been so tense.”
“A lot on my mind, sweetheart. This has been so nice, to have this time with you, relaxing and sleeping and stuff.”
I laugh at the word “stuff.”
“But I have to go back to work one of these days.”
“I’ve sort of wondered when that would happen.”
“We’ve got a meeting coming up for the foundation, and at some point I’ve got to be at the office with Hayden. He’s into postproduction on the new film that has defied naming. I’ve got to make some decisions on future projects. A lot to do.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve been keeping you from your work.”
“You haven’t been. I’ve enjoyed every second that we’ve spent together, and I’m looking forward to much more.”
“I was wondering… About the foundation.”
“What about it?”
“Would it be possible—and please feel free to say no if it’s not a good idea…”
His smile makes his eyes twinkle, and I’m struck again by how gorgeous he is. That I get to hug him and kiss him and make love with him any time I want still amazes me all these days later. “What’s your idea, sweetheart?”
“I’d like to be involved with the foundation.” I swallow hard. “If it’s okay with you.”
“Yes, of course it’s okay. I should’ve thought to ask you.”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think I could make a contribution.”
“I’d love for you to be part of it in any role you wish to take.”
I’m filled with the giddy sort of joy that reminds me of how I felt the night before my first day at school. “Thank you.”
“I guess I’d better go call Liza and make her day—and Carolyn’s. You’re really sure about this?”
“I’m sure. While you’re at it, call Addie, too. Tell her we’re going to the SAG Awards because my boyfriend is expected to win, and I need her and her stylist pal Tenley to fix me up.”
“You got it, sweetheart.” He kisses me and squeezes my hand before he leaves the room to go make his calls.
I have to do something. I can’t bear sitting around waiting for things to happen. I’m a proactive kind of guy, and this situation is forcing me to be reactive. I’m on the verge of losing my mind.
Liza and Natalie have talked me into the interview with Carolyn against my better judgment. Though I’ve had nothing but positive dealings with Carolyn in the past, I fear the interview will make everything worse rather than better. I know it’s irrational because Carolyn is a consummate professional, but I can’t help the way I feel.
I go into the office and shut the door. Dropping into the chair, I put my feet up on the desk and try to get myself together. Losing my shit isn’t going to make anything better for Natalie.
I need a shrink, but since I don’t know one I can call out of the blue, I settle for the next best thing. I call my dad. I’m not worried about interrupting his day, because he always takes calls from his family, no matter what he’s doing.
He answers on the second ring. “Hey there.”
“Hi, Dad. Am I getting you at a bad time?”
“Not at all. What’s wrong?”
“What makes you think there’s something wrong?”
“You’ve been my son for thirty-three years. I knew with ‘Hi, Dad’ that something was wrong.”
Despite the gravity of the situation, he makes me smile. I lean my elbows on the desk and run the fingers of my free hand through my hair, over and over.
“Flynn. Talk to me.”
“I love her so much.”
“I know you do, son. Your mother and I knew the first time we saw you with her that she is the one for you.”
“I can’t bear to see her going through all this because she made the mistake of getting involved with me.”
“What does she have to say about that?”
“The more agitated I get, the calmer she seems to be, which is maddening.”
Dad grunts out a laugh. “Why am I not surprised? Don’t forget, she’s been through this once before, unfortunately, and probably has a better grip on how to handle it than you do.”
“Once was more than enough.”
“Indeed, but it’s happening, and she’s handling it. That’s what matters.”
“She and Liza have convinced me that if we do one interview, with Carolyn Justice, it’ll help the situation.”
“You don’t think it will?”
“I’m afraid that somehow it’ll make everything worse.”
“I know you like to be the one calling the shots, Flynn. But in this case, I’m afraid you’re going to have to follow Natalie’s lead. She knows what she can handle and what she can’t. If she’s intent on doing the interview, let her. It might help her to put the story in her own words rather than letting everyone else tell it for her.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way before. “What if it makes things worse?”
“How could it make things worse? What are you truly afraid of?”
“Her being hurt again in some way that I can’t predict ahead of time.”
“You know what the most difficult part of fatherhood has been?”
Taken aback by the change in direction, I say, “No, what?”
“Not being able to protect my kids from any kind of pain or suffering. We all wish we had a crystal ball so we could see the future and steer the people we love clear of any trouble. But short of that, all we can do is the best we can and then be there for them when things don’t go according to plan.”
“I’m not used to waiting for things to happen. I’m far more accustomed to making things happen.”
&
nbsp; “I know, son,” he says with a low chuckle. “And I also know how painful it has to be for you to take your cues from someone else. But let me ask you this—are you doing everything you can to make this right for her?”
“Fuck, yes, I am.”
“Are your lawyers all over it with the school that fired her and the guy who outed her?”
“Yes,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Then tell me what else you could be doing that you’re not doing?”
“I could go to Lincoln and beat the living shit out of the guy who exposed her.”
“Please, don’t do that. Don’t jeopardize yourself or her or your sterling reputation by doing something stupid that’ll only give you momentary reprieve and will definitely make everything worse than it already is.”
He’s right. I know it, but that doesn’t mean I like it.
“Flynn? Tell me you’re listening to me and won’t do anything stupid.”
“I won’t.”
“Natalie needs you to be strong for her, to guide her through her introduction to celebrity and managing everything that goes with it.”
“I know. I’m trying.”
“Remember it won’t always be this way. Something else will happen, and they’ll move on to the next big scandal.”
“Any time now.”
“I want you to keep in mind that as bad as this is, you’ve got her now, and she has you. That’s the only thing that really matters.”
“Thanks, Dad. You said what I needed to hear.”
“I was hoping you’d call. I didn’t want to bother you with everything you’re dealing with.”
“It was either you or a shrink.”
He roars with laughter. “I’m glad you chose me.”
“So am I.”
“We’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah, you will.”
“Hang in there, son. We love you guys, and we’re here if you need us.”
“Thanks. Love you, too.”
I end the call feeling much calmer than I was before I reached out to him. He’s talked me through many a rough patch in my life, and was my rock as I navigated the perilous path into acting and producing. He’s always the voice of reason, and I needed that today.
Now I just have to put his advice into practice and take my cues from Natalie. I can do that. At least I can try.
It’s amazing how quickly things happen when the biggest movie star in the world is involved. Carolyn Justice flew from New York to LA on a red-eye, and the interview is set to take place at the Quantum office at noon. I’m wearing my trusty black dress. My hair is long and curly, and because I’m tanned from the long days in the sun, I’ve gone with only mascara and lip gloss.
Hopefully I won’t look like a country bumpkin on national TV.
Flynn is wearing a slate-colored suit with a white shirt and no tie. He, too, is tanned and looks fantastic, but then again he always does. He’s been quiet and withdrawn since we made our decisions yesterday, and I’m hoping he’ll be back to normal once we put this behind us.
When we arrive at the Quantum building, I finally meet Liza, who’s younger than I expect her to be. She’s petite with short glossy black hair, a killer power suit and teeters on four-inch heels. Despite her sharp, professional appearance, she’s warm and funny, and I like her immediately.
Flynn introduces us, and she hugs me. “I’m so happy to meet you, Natalie.”
“Thanks for your help with all this.”
“It’s my pleasure—and my job. Working for this guy is not exactly a hardship.”
I hook my arm through Flynn’s. “He is pretty great.”
“I couldn’t agree more. And I want you to know, I think you’re doing the right thing today, and you’ve chosen the perfect person to talk to.”
“Flynn chose her.” We talk about him like he’s not standing right next to me vibrating from the tension that has gripped him since I insisted on doing the interview.
“He chose well.”
Flynn’s sister Ellie, who works for Quantum, comes to say hello, greeting me with a hug like we’re old friends. “This shit sucks,” she says bluntly.
“Yeah, it does, but hopefully this will help.”
“Our whole family is behind you, Natalie. I hope you know that.”
“Thank you so much.” Her sweetness nearly reduces me to tears. It’s been so long since I’ve had a family behind me, and the Godfreys are one hell of a family to have on my side.
Carolyn swoops into the conference room at the stroke of noon with a team of producers, camera people, hair-and-makeup staff and an entire entourage of others who stand around talking on phones, barking out orders and generally trying to look important. The woman herself is a blonde with warm blue eyes that save her from being unapproachable. She’s known for being a master interviewer who always asks the right questions and can make even the sturdiest of men break down into tears with probing inquiries about the most personal of matters.
One of the crewmembers outfits us with clip-on microphones. Flynn pushes the guy’s hand aside and takes care of clipping mine onto my dress. The possessive action nearly makes me giggle, but he’s not in the mood for silliness.
When the mikes are in place, Carolyn comes over to us and hugs Flynn. “So great to see you again.”
“You, too, Carolyn. Thanks for doing this.”
“Thank you. This is the interview of the year. Everyone wanted it. I’m so incredibly honored you chose me.”
“I chose you because you’ve been fair to me in the past. I hope you’ll do the same for Natalie.” He’s friendly and charming as always, but he puts her on notice nonetheless.
“Of course.” She turns to me and extends her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Natalie.”
“Likewise.” I’m totally starstruck. I’ve watched Carolyn Justice’s daily talk show since college. “I’m a big fan.”
“Thank you so much! That’s so nice to hear. Before we begin, is there anything completely off-limits?”
I glance at Flynn. The pulsing muscle in his cheek tells me he’s tightly wound and apt to get more so in the next hour.
“Nothing is off-limits, but I won’t speak in detail about the assault.”
“I understand, and I’d never ask you to.”
I reach for Flynn’s injured hand and hold it between both of mine as we’re directed toward chairs under the bright lights Carolyn’s people have set up. The wires and cords on the floor remind me of the day we met, a thought I share with Flynn.
His lips curl up into a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. I want to get this over with for his sake as much as mine.
When we’re seated across from Carolyn, I continue to hold his hand, needing his comfort as much as I want to offer mine to him.
Carolyn has an intro prepared in which she summarizes the events of the last week and introduces us, making note that this exclusive interview is the only one Flynn and I plan to give.
“I want to start by asking you, Natalie, how your life has changed since you met Flynn.”
The question takes me by surprise because I’d think the changes to my life would be rather obvious. I glance at Flynn, who’s staring straight ahead, his face expressionless.
“My life has changed completely,” I tell her. “With a few exceptions, it’s changed for the better. I feel extremely fortunate to have met Flynn, to be part of his life and to have him in mine.”
He gives my hand a gentle squeeze.
“We’re all very curious as to how you two met. Care to share that story?”
We exchange glances, and he nods for me to go ahead. I relay the story of Fluff escaping from me in Greenwich Village and how I chased her right into Flynn’s shoot. “I smashed into him and ended up on the ground with the wind knocked out of me while Fluff took a bite out of Flynn.”
“The dog bit you?”
“Yep.” He lifts his arm where the marks have faded but remain visible. “The old girl’s still got g
ame at fourteen.”
“And with only about ten teeth left in her cute little head,” I add.
Carolyn loses it laughing. “So what did you think when you realized your dog had bitten Flynn Godfrey?”
“She was afraid I’d sue her and Fluff for all their worldly goods,” Flynn says with the trademark humor I’ve come to expect from him. It’s good to have that back after living with tense, stressed-out Flynn.
“Which doesn’t amount to much,” I add. “Of course I was mortified. Fluff has never bitten anyone, and she makes her debut with Flynn Godfrey?”
“The whole thing was pretty funny,” Flynn says.
“I have to ask how you go from her dog biting you to walking the red carpet together at the Golden Globes a week later.”
Flynn glances at me. “I took one look at Natalie and knew I wanted her in my life.”
Carolyn fans her face. “Whoa. I need a drink—and a cigarette.”
We laugh at that.
“You don’t smoke,” Flynn reminds her.
“Today would be a good day to start! And you, Natalie… How do you go about dating someone like Flynn?”
“Carefully,” I say, making them laugh.
“She made me work for it.”
“When did you know this could be something special?”
The question is directed at me. “Flynn showed me who he really is several times in the first few days we were together. He’s hard not to like, especially when he brings out the Godfrey charm.”
“I imagine that can be quite formidable.”
“You know it.” By now I feel like I’m chatting with an old girlfriend, which is why Carolyn is so good at what she does and so well regarded in the business.
“Can you describe for us what it was like to learn that your painful past had been made public after you appeared with Flynn at the Golden Globes?”
I’m ready for this one, because Liza warned me to be prepared. “Naturally, it’s terribly painful to relive a time in my life I’d much sooner forget, but in some ways it’s been freeing, too. I no longer have to worry about someone finding out who I used to be. The whole world knows now, and shockingly, life has gone on.”
“You did lose your job at the Emerson charter school in New York, though. Is that correct?”
