“But?”
“When I’m not with her, I feel guilty.”
“Guilty over what?”
“I feel like I’m cheating on Madi. Betraying her in some way. Like if I fall for someone else, I’ll forget her.”
Sophia continued the soothing head rub. “You’re not going to forget her. She’s part of who you are. She’ll always be in your heart somewhere, but now there’s room for someone else.”
“You think?” Alex asked.
“Yep. Falling for someone else doesn’t mean you have to erase your feelings for Madison. It just means you’re ready to move on, and you may have found someone who’s helping you do that. Madi would want that. You told me she said as much before she died.”
“She did,” Alex agreed, thinking back to that painful time.
It was warm for October on the Cape, but Madison still shivered in the fleece blankets cocooning her.
“You okay, babe?” Alex asked, arms tightening around her wife.
Madi nodded and snuggled back into Alex. “Promise me something.”
“Anything.” Alex’s lips lovingly caressed Madison’s temple.
“Promise me you’ll fall in love again.”
“Madi, stop.”
“Promise me, Alex,” she whispered.
“Madison, you’re not going anywhere.”
“Alex—”
“Ssshh. Let’s not talk about it.”
“I need to know you’ll give someone else a chance. I don’t want you to be alone because of some misplaced loyalty to me. Please, Alex. Promise me.” Madi turned tired, teary eyes to Alex.
Alex’s heart broke at the anguish on her face. “Okay, baby. I promise. I promise.” She kissed her softly and turned away, lips trembling.
Alex wiped her eyes, and for the first time, they held no tears at the memory. “I guess you’re right.”
Sophia smiled. “My job here is done.”
Chapter Eighteen
On Friday night, Sam dawdled upstairs in her office, a messy ponytail spouting like a fountain from the top of her head. Bare toes tapped to the beat of the music playing on the stereo. She gave a start when the phone rang, and a wide grin split her face.
“Hello?”
“Hey, beautiful, what’s going on?”
“Not much. I can’t wait for tomorrow!” The fantasies were getting old; she was ready for the reality of Alex in her arms again. “What are you doing?”
“Not much. Hanging on your front porch like a hobo.”
“What time tomorr…wait, what?” Sam’s voice rose with excitement. “You’re on my front porch now?”
“Yep. Yogi and I are here. I rang the doorbell, but you must not have heard it.”
“Oh my God! I’ll be right down! I can’t believe you’re here! I’m running—I’ll be right there—” Sam bolted down the hallway, iPhone in hand, skittering around the corner to go down the steps. A quick tug at the ponytail released her curls, which bounced on her shoulders as she navigated the stairs.
“Be careful,” Alex said.
“I will, I…ow! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.” Sam clutched at her ankle, wincing.
“What happened?”
“Crap, I turned my ankle. Hold on, I’m walking it off, I’m walking it off, ouch, ouch.” Sam hobbled toward the front door, anticipation coursing through her veins. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”
“Oh, don’t say that,” Alex said in a husky voice.
Sam giggled. “Almost there.” She threw open the door, and Yogi bolted inside. Sam’s heart stopped, then began beating wildly in her chest. Alex stood with one hand above her head, grabbing the top of the doorjamb. Backpack straps accentuated the muscles in her shoulders.
Fuck me. Had she gotten sexier in the ninety-two hours, twelve minutes, and thirty-three seconds they’d been apart? Sam gave Alex the once-over. Twice. She gave her the twice over. A red-hot flush of sexual heat coursed through her body, spreading in every direction until it reached even the tips of her extremities. It was going to be a long night. A true test of self-control.
Sam hooked two fingers through Alex’s belt loops. “Fuck me,” she murmured with her outside voice. She yanked Alex into the house and slammed the door shut.
“Okay, sure.” Alex pushed Sam against the closed door, hands playfully wandering all over Sam’s stomach, her mouth nipping and kissing Sam’s neck.
Sam laughed and gasped for air. “I didn’t mean literally.”
Alex pulled back with sad puppy dog eyes.
Sam gave her a kiss hello. “Hi, sexy.” She ran her hands over Alex’s arms, loving the feel of soft skin and hard muscle.
“Hi, yourself.”
Sam pressed herself against the length of Alex. “I can’t believe you’re here. Are you staying the night?”
“I planned to,” Alex mumbled into her neck.
“Yeah!”
“How’s the ankle? Need me to kiss it and make it better?”
The idea of Alex’s lips anywhere on her body titillated, to say the least. “I think so. It’s sore.”
Alex led a limping Sam over to the couch. “I thought you put your idiot stage behind you?”
“I did too. But it’s kinda cute, right?”
Alex smiled. “It is very cute. Here, let me see.”
Sam sank onto the sofa.
Alex slid the backpack from her shoulders and kneeled to inspect the ankle. “It’s starting to swell. We should put some ice on it.” She kissed it, and then her lips started to wander. “Did you hurt your knee too?” Alex kissed and nibbled her way to Sam’s knee.
Sam sighed, closing her eyes. “I don’t remember hurting my knee, but maybe you should kiss it just in case.”
Alex’s mouth moved along one thigh while a hand caressed the other, slipping under Sam’s shorts.
Sam laughed. “Okay, I didn’t hurt that.”
Alex pulled away, eyes twinkling. “Anything else hurt?”
Sam pointed to her lips and pouted. “I might have banged them a little bit.”
“Oh no. Let me take care of it.” Alex pushed Sam onto her back and crawled on top, softly kissing Sam’s lips. “Better?”
“Yes.” Sam wrapped her arms and legs around Alex, squeezing her close.
Alex groaned. “Your legs are strong. You should be piggybacking me.”
Yogi came over and pushed his nose into Sam’s hair.
“Oh, Yogi baby, your momma distracted me, and I forgot to say hi. I’m sorry, buddy.” Sam kissed him on his nose. “I bought you a bed. And some toys.”
“What?”
“I bought him a bed—well, two beds, one for downstairs and one for upstairs. And a bunch of toys.”
“You got my dog a bed?”
“I got my dog a bed,” Sam corrected.
“You’re the sweetest person ever.” Alex ran a finger along Sam’s eyebrows. “God, I love your eyes.” She gently kissed Sam’s eyelids, one after the other.
Sam blew out a soft breath and kept her eyes closed.
Alex rolled onto her side. “So I was talking with Jade the other day to see if they’d heard anything from the publisher.”
“And?”
“Nothing yet. But your name came up.”
Sam’s eyes blinked open. “Oh boy.” She turned so they lay facing each other. “What juicy tidbits of my life did she share?”
Alex nuzzled her neck, and Sam squeezed her eyes shut in pleasure.
“Oh, nothing much, just that initially you wanted me as your fuck buddy.”
“Rut-row.”
Alex laughed. “Rut-row is right.”
“I’m surprised she kept the lid on it this long.”
“When did things change?”
Sam rolled Alex onto her back, and her hand wandered under Alex’s shirt. “What? When did I decide I wanted more than a sexual toy?”
Alex whimpered quietly as Sam’s hand stroked across her belly. She managed a breathy “Yes.”
Sam stared,
mesmerized by the change in eye color caused by her wandering hand. “I guess when we hugged for the first time.”
Alex chuckled. “Who knew my hugs could be so life altering?”
“You’re quite the hugger. But in all fairness, when this all started, I said I wanted a girlfriend. Those clowns turned it into finding me a fuck buddy.”
Alex’s brows rose. “A girlfriend? You wanted a girlfriend, huh?”
“Yeah.” Sam paused. “So?”
“So…what?”
“Do I have a girlfriend?” Sam asked.
“You’re asking me?”
“I have my hand under your shirt, so yeah, I’m asking.”
“Well, we haven’t even made it to second base yet.”
And before the ink dried on those words, Sam’s hand covered Alex’s breast.
Alex’s eyes slammed shut and she groaned.
“How about now.” Sam’s lips mouthed along Alex’s jawline, her hand creating delicious circular patterns around Alex’s breasts, teasing and stroking through her bra.
Alex licked her lips, and more quiet moans slipped from her mouth.
“Oh, who’s helpless now? What was it you said about payback?” Sam’s tongue traveled from Alex’s neck to her earlobe. “I believe I have made it safely into second,” Sam gloated with a wicked smile.
When Alex opened her eyes, Sam’s smile slowly disappeared. Those green orbs were almost black, and they looked hungry. Crap.
Alex flipped their positions, Sam now on her back and Alex back in control. Sam bit her lip as Alex closed the distance between them.
Alex stopped millimeters from Sam’s mouth. “You can’t call us girlfriends until both of us get there.”
In a millisecond, Alex’s hand slipped under Sam’s shirt, and her bra was pushed aside just as quick.
Sam gasped. “Oh shit.”
Alex’s hand began a slow, torturous exploration of Sam’s breasts. Soft lips found Sam’s neck, and it caused a chain reaction all the way down to her hips, which started to grind against Alex.
She could barely breathe as animal-like noises came from deep in her throat. Good Sam was in one ear telling her to slow it down, and Bad Sam was in the other telling her to keep poking the bear.
“Okay, okay, my God.” Sam tapped out on Alex’s back.
Alex pulled her hand away and Sam groaned in frustration over the lost contact, but she needed to slow things down.
Alex kissed her softly and rolled onto her side. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Sam reached under her shirt and resituated her bra. “That was a little unexpected, and not altogether unwelcomed.”
“It’s called getting to second in a big way.”
“A stand-up double.”
“You got that right…girlfriend.”
Sam drew in a quick breath at the word. Her eyes puddled. After all these years yearning for a special someone to come into her life… “You said girlfriend.”
“Well, we did just make it to second base,” Alex teased. She pulled Sam into a sitting position. “Guess we should cool off a bit, right? I mean, we still have to sleep in the same bed later.”
“Good idea.” Sam needed a distraction right now, or the proverbial cherry would be getting popped. Or more like obliterated. “Did you eat?”
“No, I didn’t get a chance.”
“I have some leftovers and salad stuff. Want me to make you a salad?”
“Sure. Did you eat?”
“Yeah, earlier.” Sam stood. “C’mon, sexy. To the kitchen, away from the couch. This thing is like a sexual black hole.” As they walked, Sam jumped on Alex’s back. “My ankle still hurts.”
“I’ll carry you anywhere, beautiful. To the kitchen we go.”
* * *
They spent the rest of the evening sitting together on the love seat instead of the couch, which they figured might be safer. Alex made sure Sam iced her ankle, and at bedtime she helped Sam to the bedroom, then went downstairs to let Yogi outside. When he was done, they wandered back upstairs to the bedroom, where they found Sam in bed already, the covers thrown back invitingly.
Alex gaped. “You really do wear pajamas.”
“I told you I did.”
“My God, that’s adorable. They match.”
“Well, yeah, of course they do.”
Alex took a moment to drink Sam in before reluctantly dragging her eyes away. “I’ll just head into the bathroom and get ready.” Yogi sprawled into his new orthopedic dog bed. “Yogi loves his bed.”
“Yay! I’m glad.”
Alex returned from the bathroom wearing a flimsy tank and boxers and crawled into bed.
Sam’s eyes widened. “What are you wearing? You’re not leaving much to the imagination.”
“I get hot at night. The burqa is a no, by the way.” Alex rolled across the bed to lie next to Sam. She lay on her side, head in hand, fingers itching to explore. “Hm, we have shorts, so cute and soft.” Alex ran her hand along Sam’s leg.
“Behave yourself.” Sam grabbed Alex’s hand just before it slipped into the no-fly zone.
“And we have a matching shirt.” Alex’s hand managed to slip beneath the PJ top, fingertips marching north.
“Behave yourself,” Sam scolded again as she caught the hand.
“What did I say about pajamas?”
“You like to take them off?”
“Exactly.”
“How about tonight we try to behave and wake up with our clothes on.”
Alex became distracted by Sam’s cleavage, teasing above her top button. It needed some attention from her lips, so she pressed them to the exposed flesh. “Mmm, these PJs of yours are super sexy.”
Sam giggled. “Hey, you. Give me a kiss good night.” Sam pulled Alex’s lips to hers. “Good night.”
“Good night, beautiful.”
* * *
Alex awoke first the following morning, with Sam spooning her from behind. She yawned, but refrained from stretching, not wanting to disturb her girlfriend. Now there was a word she hadn’t thought she’d ever use again.
“Do you ever wear underwear?” Sam mumbled into Alex’s hair.
Alex smiled and turned her head back toward Sam. “Underwear is overrated.”
“Good morning.” Sam kissed Alex and then settled down on her chest.
Alex slipped both hands under Sam’s shirt, stroking her back. “Good morning to you. How’s the ankle?”
“Feels pretty good. Because you took such excellent care of me.” Sam placed another kiss on Alex’s lips, this time lingering.
Alex sighed when Sam stopped the kiss. “You are a fabulous kisser.”
Sam snuggled closer. “That’s high praise coming from you.”
“Yes, it is. Have I told you I love morning sex?” Alex asked as her wandering hands brushed the sides of Sam’s breasts.
“Are mornings your favorite time of day?”
“Well, anytime is great, let’s be honest. But mornings are the best in my book.” Alex’s hands found their way to the top of Sam’s shorts, and her fingertips slid under the waistband.
“If I had my phone, I’d take a memo.”
“I can remind you.”
“So is this every morning?” Her breath quickened as Alex’s hands glided across her ass.
“In a perfect world, yes. I have a high sex drive.”
“No, really?” Sam mocked.
Alex rolled Sam onto her back. “While we’re on the subject, when the time’s right, are you going to give me some sort of signal? A code word or something? A secret handshake?”
“A code word, you’re funny. How about I just say now?”
“What?”
“Now.”
“Okay!” Alex playfully dove under Sam’s shirt, kissing her belly.
Sam laughed and pulled Alex’s head up. “No, I didn’t say it. I didn’t say it.”
Alex laid her head on Sam’s stomach. “You said now. I heard it.”
“Okay
, just saying now could get me into all sorts of trouble. How about I say now now. It’s not often you say now now, so that’s what I’ll say.”
“What?” Alex asked.
“Now now.”
“Okay!”
And back under the shirt she went, which started another giggle fest from Sam. She once again pulled Alex’s head up. “We’re supposed to be taking things slow!”
“I’m horny.”
“No shit, Captain Obvious.”
Alex rested a cheek on Sam’s chest as they relaxed into each other.
“What’s gonna happen when we finally do it?” Sam asked, running fingers through Alex’s hair. “Is it gonna be like a dam bursting? Will we ever leave the house?”
“Not for the first week. We’ll have a lot of catching up to do. I mean, we’ll have to christen every room. And that’ll be the first night.”
Sam laughed. “I don’t know if I have that kind of stamina.”
“Buckle up, baby. You’re with me now.”
* * *
It took another hour to drag themselves from bed, both proud of the fact their clothes had remained on. Alex was tasked with making breakfast, while Sam relaxed at the kitchen counter in her PJs, impressed by the way Alex cracked eggs with one hand. While in a tank top. Or maybe she was just impressed with the way Alex’s biceps rippled. She adjusted her newly dampened shorts.
“Have you heard anything more on that script?” Alex asked.
“It’s between me and two other actresses. I don’t know who, though.”
“I hope you get it.”
“Me too. This could be huge. I think it’s a career-changer. And I know I can play that part. I can play the hell out of that part. And then, who knows? Maybe a nomination will be in my future.”
Chapter Nineteen
When Lenna came home from work Monday night, Alex and Sophia were already seated at the table. She duffed Alex in the head. “Romeo. How’s our Juliet?”
Alex rubbed the back of her head. “First off, stop with the Romeo. I thought we covered that.”
Lenna washed her hands and took a seat. “Well, you say it has bad connotations, but to me, it’s one of the greatest love stories of all time. And as an English major, you should appreciate that.” Her eyes landed on the table. “Oh, spaghetti and meat sauce, my fav! Thanks, babe.” She leaned over and kissed Sophia.
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