He pulled back and looked at me, a smile on his face and a tear rolling down his cheek.
“I love you too, asshole. Don’t you ever forget it either.”
He held his fist out and I bumped it. I watched as he walked out the door and once I knew he was gone. I fell to my knees and cried.
I cried for my best friend, my cousin, my Brother, my family, and I cried for me. I cried because I was so fucking thankful that I had decided not to go with my dad that night.
I cried because I remembered how something had tugged at me not to go that weekend. I cried for him and I cried for me.
I realized something tonight.
Sometimes it’s the smallest things that save the ones we love.
~***~
Chapter 23
There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones.
~Anwar Sadat~
Eagle
March 6th, 1999
I tested the water before I stepped into the shower. I thought about what the last several weeks of Church had brought about. Dog had hired Dani to teach the kids that were currently being homeschooled. She was holding classes for them in the Clubhouse.
We’d been warned that our asses better not do anything with a club girl where any of the kids could possibly see while they were in the building. I hoped like hell that my Brothers were smart enough to have already known that. Although Cotton didn’t mind where he had sex, yet I think even he wouldn’t do something where a child could see.
Dog and Viper had met with Doc about setting up a medical room in the Clubhouse. I hoped that was something we’d never need, but since we were going to continue with our vigilante endeavors there was a possibility that we’d need it. Not one single Brother had a problem that he had started both of those without putting it up for a vote.
The addition to the garage was finished so now, besides having plenty of room to store our bikes out of the weather, there was extra storage too. I was happy about this. I hated to leave my bike out in the elements. It was my pride and joy.
The club had voted to buy Seer’s land. That was necessary since the persuasion room was built on his acreage. Maul and Brute had some ideas on how to get rid of any bodies that happened to have an unfortunate encounter with some of the members of ARMC. A big forge was going to be built to cremate any evidence.
While a part of me hoped we’d never have to use it, I knew we would. The caliber of men that would be taken to the room didn’t need to be in this world. Any bastard who was kidnapping and selling people didn’t deserve to live, nor did any man who harmed women and children. I didn’t have a problem with the fact several people would probably end up losing their lives in that room.
Zane and Doom had found the man, Petrov, that Dani’s husband Jared owed money to. We’d also learned that Jared had gotten out of debt by kidnapping some little girls to pay for what he owed and now he was working for Petrov.
While there hadn’t been any sightings of Jared, one of Zane’s buddies had followed Petrov and knew where his house was. Already talk was going on about blowing the structure when all of Petrov’s men were in the residence. One swift hit would eliminate an entire crew of debased men. I personally thought that was a good way of dealing with bastards like them.
After getting out of the shower and getting dressed, I headed downstairs for something to eat. Bane and Kenzie would be out later today. Kenzie hadn’t been feeling well so Bane went back to her place after Church last night. I’d just finished eating and was trying to decide what I wanted to do when I saw Dog walk into the Great Room. He called out for Blood and Tater as he kept striding toward the door. Hell, had someone else showed up? We sure didn’t need Ava to get her pistol out again.
I was curious so I followed them outside. All three men were walking toward the gate. There was an old truck parked outside the entrance with what looked like three older teens standing in front of it.
As I watched to see what was going on, Tater collapsed to the ground and Dog immediately went to his knees and started doing CPR on him. I saw Dog talking to Blood who got busy on his phone. I ran back into the Great Room to get Doc. She and Ranger had been sitting at a table talking.
“Doc’s needed outside, does anyone know where she is? Tater collapsed,” I yelled.
At my words, everyone in the Great Room hit the door running. It didn’t take but a minute and we were all standing in a huge circle around Tater. Boomer, Cas, Zane, Shadow and Slaughter were some of the first to reach Dog. In a rotation, they all took a turn performing CPR on Tater. Doc finally made it and she started checking his vitals.
The kids that had been standing outside were let inside and they came running over to where the men were working on Tater. I was shocked to find out they were his kids. His ex-girlfriend had taken them over seventeen years ago.
Soon the ambulance showed up, loaded Tater up and took off for the hospital. Brothers and women started toward bikes or vehicles. I paused long enough to call Bane and let him know what was going on then I hopped on my bike and started following my Brothers to the hospital. One of our own was down and we all needed to find out how he was doing.
Once we were in the waiting room, I listened as the kids told us how their mother had mentally abused them over the years and hadn’t told them who their dad was other than he was a biker. They’d only recently found out and that’s why they were here now. To be with their dad.
This was going to make Tater one happy man. I’d grown up hearing about how the loss of his children had affected him. It had torn him up to the point that his personality had changed from a happy go lucky man to a somber one.
Doc had gone inside the ER department to see what she could find out about Tater. It took her about thirty minutes before she came out to let us know what was going on. They were taking Tater back for an angiogram and that would take anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours to do. Doc said it was possible that they might put stents in while they were doing the procedure.
Bane finally showed up minus Kenzie, she still wasn’t feeling well. He shared a look with me when he told me that. He was worried about her.
Finally, after two hours, we learned Tater was okay. Dog told us we could go back to the Clubhouse because trying to see all of us would tire Tater out. But we all sat back down, none of us were ready to leave yet. This had shaken us all up. We hadn’t lost a person in our club in over fifteen years. The last ones we lost were Blood and Brax’s parents, Undertaker and his Old Lady Pennie. They’d been in a motorcycle wreck.
Ranger got a call and stepped outside to take it, then Doc got a text and left. I glanced out the window of the door where Boomer, Cas, Slade, Brenna, Ghost and Creed were leaning against the hall wall. All of them suddenly stood up and took off. That had my curiosity peaked. I got up and walked over to the door and looked out. All the men were gone. Huh. I ambled back over to where Bane was sitting and sat down.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Not sure. Ranger got that call and went outside to take it. Doc got a text and left. Boomer, Cas, Slade, Brenna, Ghost and Creed were all leaning against the wall and they all stood up suddenly and took off. I looked outside and couldn’t see anyone.”
“Think something’s wrong?”
“Kinda feel like it is.”
We sat there for about twenty-five or so more minutes when Viper got a call. I watched as his expression went sharp at what he was hearing. As soon as he hung up, he got up and walked into the center of the room and lifted his chin. We all got up as one and circled around him.
“Need you all to get back to the compound as fast as possible. Someone tried to break in. Brick and Zane were shot. Doc’s operating on Brick now and may need more O negative blood,” he murmured quietly.
At his order, all of us left the room, made our way to our bikes and rode like scalded dogs toward the compound. As I turned down the driveway, I saw an SUV that had the front two windows and the windshi
eld busted out. The gate to the compound had sustained massive damage. Since we couldn’t get our bikes through the opening, we parked them in the driveway.
I walked down the passenger side of the vehicle and saw two dead men. One had been shot twice in the chest, the other three times. If I wasn’t mistaken, the one who had been tapped three times was Dani’s husband. If I was correct, that would be very good news.
At the gate, I managed to squeeze through it. I was a little over six feet tall and muscled, thank goodness I wasn’t massive or I’d have had trouble getting through the space. One inside, Bane and I took off running. We needed to find out how Brick and Zane were doing.
Walking inside showed that the others who had made it here before us were standing in the hallway. Ranger walked down the hall and met all of us. The look on his face was grim.
“How are they doing?” Slaughter questioned.
“Zane’s okay. Got shot twice. Both bullets went through fleshy parts of his skin. One on his right arm the other on his left thigh. Brick’s not doing so good. He was hit once in the left shoulder. According to Zane, he was on his way down the tower ladder when he got shot. That knocked him off the ladder. He’s lost a lot of blood and hasn’t regained consciousness.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. While I wasn’t that close to Brick, he’s been a good prospect.
“Only thing we can do now is wait.”
Every one of us nodded and with the same grim looks now on our faces, we all grabbed a beer and sat down in the Great Room to wait.
It wasn’t long before Dog and Blood came in. Dog went down the hall while Blood stopped by our table to find out what we knew. I heard Slaughter giving him an update.
“I’m gonna step outside and call Kenzie and tell her to stay home. She doesn’t need to see this mess,” Bane informed me as he got up from the table.
“Alright, Brother. That’s probably for the best,” I replied.
Dog came out with a heavily pregnant Ava. She looked exhausted. She wearily walked to their table while Dog headed to the kitchen. He came back out carrying two plates of food. I watched him place them on the table before he headed to the bar. There he placed a call. If I was a betting man, I’d wager he was calling Uncle KJ to get his ass out here right now.
Viper came into the room from the dining room and headed toward Dog at the bar. I knew after he checked in here, he had run to check on his women and children. I couldn’t blame the man. He had a house full of family. It had grown by four when he brought his mom and his sister’s children home with him. After getting a beer, both men went and sat down at their table.
Bane came back into the room and sat down.
“How’s Kenzie?”
“She says she thinks she’s catching a cold. Said she’s just not feeling very good.”
“Damn, hate to hear that.”
“Me too. Makes me feel helpless not being able to do anything for her and I hate that I can’t be there with her right now.”
“I hear ya, Brother.”
Thirty minutes later, Uncle KJ walked into the room and headed toward Dog’s direction. Yeah, I’d called that one right.
We were all waiting to see what was going to happen when Dog yelled out Bane’s and my names. We got up and went to his table.
As we stopped before Dog, I looked at him questioningly and asked, “What’s up, Prez?”
“We got the saws to cut the gate apart? We need to get it down,” he inquired.
“Yeah, we do,” I told him. “Want us to get started on doing that?”
“You can go get the saws and have them ready. We’re gonna have Church first.”
Bane and I nodded and left through the back door. We jogged to the garage where some of our extra equipment was kept and each of us picked up one of the saws. Then we carried them to the gate and set them down. As we turned to head back in, everyone came out. It was soon obvious what was going on. We needed to get the bodies hid. Axe and Streak ran to grab moving blankets while we loaded the bodies in the back of the SUV. After they returned, we draped the blankets over the bodies.
Then we went inside and sat down for one of the most eye-opening Churches I’d ever sat through. After watching the video where Ava had killed the two men, one who had been trying to kill Zane, my respect for the woman grew in leaps and bounds.
Dog, however, lost his shit when he saw what she had done. I understood why he did too. Ava was forty-weeks pregnant and should be popping that kid out anytime now.
After listening to Dog give us our orders of what we were going to be doing, Bane and I realized we would be getting very little sleep over the next several days. We were the welders of the club and it would be on us to build the new gate.
Once again, Bane called Kenzie and let her know not to come out and that it might be a few days before he could get back. He told her everything that had gone on. I knew he wasn’t happy about not being able to get back to her while she was sick, but we had a job to do for our club and that came first right now.
~***~
Chapter 24
Demons wait at crossroads attempting to influence our decisions.
~April Smith~
Bane
March 11th, 1999
Finally, we had the new gate built. It was a heavy bastard and it should withstand the tank that Dog had muttered about not being able to get through it. Sarge, Gunny, Eagle and I had talked over a plan on how to build it and once we were all satisfied that we had figured out the best design for strength and endurance, Eagle and I had started constructing the gate. It had been tiring work. The heavy steel had been a bitch to work with. Luckily, some of the other men had come to help us.
My eyes felt like they were fried, I told Eagle I was going to head toward Kenzie’s place to shower and get some sleep. He’d only nodded tiredly at me.
On the ride over, I kept thinking how much I had missed Kenz. I hadn’t seen her since Sunday, and I was missing my woman bad. I just wanted to hold her in my arms. I was too tired to do anything else. When I got to the apartment, I didn’t see her car outside. I looked at the time and saw it was still about an hour before she would be home. I decided I’d take a shower while I killed the time.
After I got out of the shower, I grabbed my toothbrush and went to grab toothpaste but didn’t see any. I reached down and opened the top drawer and what I saw there froze every muscle in place. I had to be seeing things wrong. With a body that was now shaking, I reached up and rubbed my eyes. I opened then and looked again. It was still there. My hand trembled as I reached down and picked up the little white stick.
There were two pink lines running across the white area. I read the word over and over that corresponded with the two lines.
Pregnant.
Jesus. Christ.
Kenzie was pregnant with my baby. That fucking torn rubber had let enough of my tainted sperm invade her body and now she was carrying my child.
I dropped the stick. I put my dirty clothes back on, walked out the front door, made my way to my bike, started it and left. I don’t remember the ride back to the compound.
The demon was already talking.
Well, lookie there. The bastard is going to be a daddy. How’s that gonna work for you bane of your mother’s existence? What do you know about being a daddy? I’ll tell you what. Nothing. You know absolutely nothing. Your own dad didn’t love you enough to want anything to do with you, did he? Oh, that’s right, you don’t know anything about him.
Hmm, he could be a rapist, murderer, pedophile, hell, the list is endless and you don’t have a fucking clue, do you?
You know you aren’t good enough to try to raise a child.
Right?
Hell, you’ll fuck a kid up big time. What if you end up being the type of dad that can’t handle hearing kids cry? Whatcha gonna do then? Beat them? Whatcha gonna do, Bane, old boy? I’ll tell you what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna fuck up your kid so bad they’ll be worse than you are, that’s what you’re gonna
do.
Over and over what he whispered played in my head as I rode back to the compound. I was numb. I’d told Kenzie I didn’t want kids and listening to the monster in my mind spewing his filth, I knew I was right. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be a dad. I didn’t know how to be a dad. Had no clue what they did, how they acted. I didn’t know how a dad loved. How the fuck was I supposed to do this?
I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I knew that. There was no way I could do this.
That’s right, Bane. You can’t do this. You’re not father material.
I somehow managed to get to my room and there I stripped and pulled on a pair of sweats. I sat on the bed trying to decide what I was going to do and the fucking demon in my head kept on vomiting his filth in my mind.
I know a way, he whispered. Remember what Kenzie told you? What was the one thing that would tear your relationship apart?
A sob choked me when I realized I was about to lose the woman I loved. The one good thing in my life that I’d always wanted, yet never thought I’d have. The love of a woman who wanted me for me.
I couldn’t see any way around it. I couldn’t be a dad. I was too fucked in the head. That fucking demon was going to make sure I fucked something up.
There was no way I was taking the chance of me ever hurting my child. I knew what it was to hurt. I knew what it was to constantly fight the vicious voice that filled my mind with damning words. I wasn’t good enough to be a father.
I wasn’t.
I knew who was though.
I knew who would be the perfect dad for my child.
Eagle.
I’d always thought he was Kenzie’s first pick. She told me otherwise, yet a small part had always thought differently. While I didn’t think he loved her, I did think he still had an attraction for her. I hadn’t been scared of him ever trying to come between us, that wasn’t who he was. Like I’d always said, he was a better man than I am. I glanced at the time, Kenzie would be getting off soon. I knew what I had to do.
Bane (Angel's Rebellion MC: #7) Page 21
