The Sunset Limited
Page 5
Black I like probably. Probably from you is worth a couple of damn rights anywheres else.
White Why? Because I dont believe in anything?
The black has put the pots on the stove to warm and he brings napkins and silverware to the table and sets them out. He sits down.
Black Well. I dont think that's the problem. I think it's what you do believe that is carryin you off, not what you dont. Let me ask you this.
White Go ahead.
Black You ever think about Jesus?
White Here we go.
Black Do you?
White What makes you think I'm not Jewish?
Black What, jews aint allowed to think about Jesus?
White No, but they might think about him differently.
Black Is you Jewish?
White No. As it happens. I'm not.
Black Whew. You had me worried there for a minute.
White What, you dont like jews?
Black (Shaking his head, almost laughing) Pullin your chain, Professor. Pullin your chain. I dont know why I love to mess with you. But I do. You need to listen. Or you need to believe what you hearin. The whole point of where this is goin--which you wanted to know--is that they aint no jews. Aint no whites. Aint no niggers. People of color. Aint none of that. At the deep bottom of the mine where the gold is at there aint none of that. There's just the pure ore. That forever thing. That you dont think is there. That thing that helps to keep folks nailed down to the platform when the Sunset Limited comes through. Even when they think they might want to get aboard. That thing that makes it possible to ladle out benediction upon the heads of strangers instead of curses. It's all the same thing. And it aint but one thing. Just one.
White And that would be Jesus.
Black Got to think about how to answer that. Maybe one more heresy wont hurt you. You pretty loaded up on em already. Here's what I would say. I would say that the thing we are talkin about is Jesus, but it is Jesus understood as that gold at the bottom of the mine. He couldnt come down here and take the form of a man if that form was not done shaped to accommodate him. And if I said that there aint no way for Jesus to be ever man without ever man bein Jesus then I believe that might be a pretty big heresy. But that's all right. It aint as big a heresy as sayin that a man aint all that much different from a rock. Which is how your view looks to me.
White It's not my view. I believe in the primacy of the intellect.
Black What is that word.
White Primacy? It means first. It means what you put first.
Black And that would be intellect.
White Yes.
Black What about the primacy of the Sunset Limited?
White Yes. That too.
Black But not the primacy of all them folks waitin on a later train.
White No. No primacy there.
Black Mm.
White Mm what.
Black You tough, Professor. You tough.
The black rises and goes to the stove. He reaches down plates and stirs the pots and ladles out the dinner. He takes down a loaf of white bread and puts four slices on a plate and brings the plate of bread to the table and sets it down.
Black Yeah you tough.
The black brings the two plates to the table and sets them out and takes his seat. He looks at the professor.
Black You see yourself as a questioner, Professor. But about that I got my doubts. Even so, the quest of your life is your quest. You on a road that you laid. And that fact alone might be all the reason you need for keepin to it. As long as you on that road you cant be lost.
White I'm not sure I understand what you're saying.
Black Well, Professor. I have got some very serious doubts about you not understandin anything I say. Now I'm goin to say Grace.
The black puts his hands on the table at either side of his plate and bows his head.
Black Lord we thank you for this food and we ask that you keep us ever mindful of the many blessins we have received from your hand. We thank you today for the life of the professor that you have returned to us and we ask that you continue to look after him because we need him. (Pause) I aint sure why we need him. I just know we do. Amen.
The black looks up. He smiles at the professor.
Black All right. You tell me if you like this.
White It looks good.
They begin to eat.
White This is good.
They eat.
White This is very good.
Black Supposed to be good. This is soul food, my man.
White It's got what in it? Molasses?
Black Mm. You a chef, Professor?
White Not really.
Black But some.
White Some, yes. Bananas, of course. Mangos?
Black Got a mango or two in there. Rutabagas.
White Rutabagas?
Black Rutabagas. Them aint easy to find.
White It's very good.
Black It gets better after a day or two. I just fixed this last night. You need to warm it up a few times to get the flavors right.
White Like chile.
Black Like chile. That's right. You know where I learned to fix this?
White In Louisana?
Black Right here in the ghettos of New York City. They's a lot of influences in a dish like this. You got many parts of the world in that pot yonder. Different countries. Different people.
White Any white people?
Black Not if you can help it.
White Really?
Black Messin with you, Professor. Messin with you. You know these French chefs in these uptown restaurants?
White Not personally.
Black You know what they like to cook?
White No.
Black Sweetbreads. Tripe. Brains. All that shit they dont nobody eat. You know why that is?
White Because it's a challenge? You have to innovate?
Black You pretty smart for a cracker. A challenge. That's right. The stuff they cook is dead cheap. Most folks throws it out. Give it to the cat. But poor folks dont throw nothin out.
White I guess that's right.
Black It dont take a lot of skill to make a porterhouse steak taste good. But what if you cant buy no porterhouse steak? You still wants to eat somethin that tastes good. What you do then?
White Innovate.
Black Innovate. That's right, Professor. And when do you innovate?
White When you dont have something that you want.
Black You fixin to get a A plus. So who would that be? That aint got what they want?
White Poor people.
Black I love this man. So how you like this?
White It's very good.
Black Well let me have your plate.
White Just a small portion.
Black That's all right, Professor. You need to eat. You done had yourself a pretty busy day.
The black puts more of the dish on the professors plate and comes to the table and sets it in front of him.
Black You want some more coffee?
White Yes. That would be great.
He brings the pot to the table and pours his cup and sets the pot on the table and takes his seat and they continue to eat.
White You dont think a glass of wine would have been good with this?
Black Oh no. I think it might of been good.
White But you wouldnt drink it.
Black Oh I might. One glass.
White Jesus drank wine. He and his disciples.
Black Yes he did. Accordin to the bible. Of course it dont say nothin about him hidin it in the toilet.
White Is that really a favorite hiding place?
Black Oh yes. I've knowed drunks to lift the tops off of toilet tanks in strange places just on the off chance.
White Is that true?
Black Naw. It could be, though. Wouldnt surprise me none.
White What is the worst thing you ever did.
Black More jailhouse stories.
White Why not?
Black Which why not you want to hear?
White Is bludgeoning the man in the prison cafeteria the worst thing you ever did?
Black No. It aint.
White Really? What's the worst?
Black Aint goin tell you.
White Why not?
Black Cause you'd jump up and run out the door hollerin.
White It must be pretty bad.
Black It is pretty bad. That's why I aint tellin you.
White Now I'm afraid to ask.
Black No you aint.
White Have you ever told anyone?
Black Oh yeah. It wouldnt leave me alone. The soul might be silent but the servant of the soul has always got a voice and it has got one for a reason. The life of the master depends on the servant and this is one master that has got to be sustained. Got to be sustained.
White Who did you tell it to?
Black I told it to a man of God who was my friend.
White What did he say?
Black He didnt say a word.
White But you're not curious about the worst thing I ever did.
Black Yeah I am.
White But you wont ask me what it is.
Black Dont have to.
White Why is that?
Black Cause I was there and I seen it.
White Well, I might have a different view.
Black Yeah. You might. You want some more?
White No. I'm stuffed.
Black Hungrier than you thought.
White Yes. I was.
Black Good.
White Is this some kind of a test of your faith?
Black What, you?
White Me. Yes.
Black Naw, Professor. It aint my faith you testin.
White You see everything in black and white.
Black It is black and white.
White I suppose that makes the world easier to understand.
Black You might be surprised about how little time I spend trying to understand the world.
White You try to understand God.
Black No I dont. I just try and understand what he wants from me.
White And that is everything you need.
Black If God aint everthing you need you in a world of trouble. And if what you sayin is that my view of the world is a narrow one I dont disagree with that. Of course I could point out that I aint down on the platform in my leapin costume.
White You could.
Black A lot of things is beyond my understandin. I know that. I say it again. If it aint in this book then they's a good chance that I dont know it. Before I started readin the bible I was pretty much in that primacy thing myself.
White Primacy thing.
Black Yeah. Not as bad as you. But pretty bad. I was pretty dumb, but I wasnt dumb enough to believe that what had got me nowheres in forty years was all of a sudden goin to get me somewheres. I was dumb, but I wasnt that dumb. I seen what was there for the askin, and I decided to ask. And that's all I done. And it was hard. I'll tell you right now, Professor, it was hard. I was layin there all cut up and chained to that hospital bed and I was cryin I hurt so bad and I thought they'd kill me if I did live and I tried to say it and tried to say it and after a while I just quit. I put all of that away from me. And I just said it. I said: Please help me. And he did.
They sit.
Black Long silence.
White It's just a silence.
Black Well. That's my story, Professor. It's easy told. I dont make a move without Jesus. When I get up in the mornin I just try to get ahold of his belt. Oh, ever once in a while I'll catch myself slippin into manual override. But I catch myself. I catch myself.
White Manual overrider.
Black You like that?
White It's okay.
Black I thought it was pretty good.
White So you come to the end of your rope and you admit defeat and you are in despair and in this state you seize upon this whatever it is that has neither substance nor sense and you grab hold of it and hang on for dear life. Is that a fair portrayal?
Black Well, that could be one way to say it.
White It doesnt make any sense.
Black Well, I thought when we was talkin earlier I heard you to say they wasnt none of it made no sense. Talkin bout the history of the world and all such as that.
White It doesnt. On a larger scale. But what you're telling me isnt a view of things. It's a view of one thing. And I find it nonsensical.
Black What would you do if Jesus was to speak to you?
White Why? Do you imagine that he might?
Black No. I dont. But I dont know.
White I'm not virtuous enough.
Black No, Professor, it aint nothin like that. You dont have to be virtuous. You just has to be quiet. I cant speak for the Lord but the experience I've had leads me to believe that he'll speak to anybody that'll listen. You damn sure aint got to be virtuous.
White Well if I heard God talking to me, then I'd be ready for you to take me up to Bellevue. As you suggested.
Black What if what he said made sense?
White It wouldnt make any difference. Craziness is craziness.
Black Dont make no difference if it makes sense.
White No.
Black Mm. Well, that's about as bad a case of the primacy as I ever heard.
White Well. I've always gone my own way. Ich kann nicht anders.
Black What is that you talkin?
White It's german.
Black You talk german?
White Not really. A little. It's a quotation.
Black Didnt do them Germans much good though, did it?
White I dont know. The Germans contributed a great deal to civilization. (Pause) Before Hitler.
Black And then they contributed Hitler.
White If you like.
Black Wasnt none of my doin.
White I gather it to be your belief that culture tends to contribute to human misery. That the more one knows the more unhappy one is likely to be.
Black As in the case of certain parties known to us.
White As in the case.
Black I dont believe I said that. In fact, I think maybe you said it.
White I never said it.
Black Mm. But do you believe it?
White No.
Black No?
White I dont know. It could be true.
Black Well why is that? It dont seem right, does it?
White It's the first thing in that book there. The Garden of Eden. Knowledge as destructive to the spirit. Destructive to goodness.
Black I thought you aint read this book?
White Everyone knows that story. It's probably the most famous story in there.
Black So why do you think that is?
White I suppose from the God point of view all knowledge is vanity. Or maybe it gives people the unhealthy illusion that they can outwit the devil.
Black Damn, Professor. Where was you when I needed you?
White You'd better be careful. You see where it's gotten me.
Black I do see. It's the subject at hand.
White The darker picture is always the correct one. When you read the history of the world you are reading a saga of bloodshed and greed and folly the import of which is impossible to ignore. And yet we imagine that the future will somehow be different. I've no idea why we are even still here but in all probability we will not be here much longer.
Black Them is some pretty powerful words, Professor. That's what's in your heart, aint it?
White Yes.
Black Well I can relate to them thoughts.
White You can?
Black Yes I can.
White That surprises me. What, you're going to think about them?
Black I done have thought about em. I've thought about em for a long time. Not as good as you said it. But pretty close.
White Well you surprise me. And you've come to what conclusions?
Black I aint. I
'm still thinkin.
White Yes. Well, I'm not.
Black Things can change.
White No they cant.
Black You could be wrong.
White I dont think so.
Black But that aint somethin you have a lot of in your life.
White What isnt?
Black Bein wrong.
White I admit it when I'm wrong.
Black I dont think so.
White Well, you're entitled to your opinion.
The black leans back and regards the professor. He reaches and picks up the newspaper from the table and leans back again and adjusts his glasses.
Black Let's see here. Story on page three.
He folds the paper elaborately.
Black Yeah. Here it is. Friends report that the man had ignored all advice and had stated that he intended to pursue his own course.
He adjusts his glasses.
Black A close confidant stated (he looks up)--and this here is a quotation--said: You couldnt tell the son of a bitch nothin. (He looks up again) Can you say that in the papers? Son of a bitch? Meanwhile, bloodspattered spectators at the hundred and fifty-fifth street station--continued on page four.
He wets his thumb and laboriously turns the page and refolds the paper.
Black --who were interviewed at the scene all reported that the man's last words as he hurtled toward the oncomin commuter train were: I am right.
He lays down the paper and adjusts his spectacles and peers over the top of them at the professor.
White Very funny.
The black takes off his glasses and lowers his head and pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head.
Black Oh Professor. Mm. You an amazin man.
White I'm glad you find me entertaining.
Black Well, you pretty special.
White I dont think I'm special.
Black You dont.
White No. I dont.
Black You dont think you might view them other commuters from a certain height?
White I view those other commuters as fellow occupants of the same abyssal pit in which I find myself. If they see it as something else I dont know how that makes me special.
Black Mm. I hear what you sayin. But still I keep comin back to them commuters. Them that's waitin on the Sunset? I got to think maybe they could be just a little bit special theyselves. I mean, they got to be in a deeper pit than just us daytravelers. A deeper and a darker. I aint sayin they down as deep as you, but pretty deep maybe.