"How do I know you're telling me the truth?" I ask.
"Look at your ring," he says.
Confused, I look at my finger. The onyx is glowing, and it occurs to me Adam didn't give me this. Cole did.
Shit.
I'm going to have to go back and re-remember every damn conversation I had with who I thought was my brother and replace that face with Cole's.
"That ring has a part of me—a part of my magic—in it. And a part of you," he says. "You can use it to tell if someone lies to you."
"How?" I ask.
He cocks his head. "Eve, I hate you."
His words are a punch to the gut, but when I look down at the ring, it's pulsing.
"Eve," he says, softly. "I love you."
The ring goes back to glowing.
"That's how," he says.
And my heart is ripped into pieces once again.
"Cole?" Derek's voice is hallow and weak, and I turn to see him sitting up. "It was you this whole time?" A tear slides down Derek's face. "We deserve this. But I deserve it the most. I may not have been the one to land the whip on you, but…I'm the one who turned you in after I found out what you did. If it weren't for me, none of this would be happening. If you must punish anyone, take me. Leave the rest of them out of it. Please. I'm so sorry, brother."
Cole scowls. "You will need to pay for that," he says. "But that doesn't exonerate the rest of them. You all played your part in my torture and imprisonment. And you will all suffer the consequences of your actions. You believe in justice? This is justice."
A black swirl appears around Cole, and I can tell he's about use his shadow powers to escape. I can't let him.
I plunge into my powers and break the wall I'd been keeping around my darkness, dipping into the inky magic that lives in my deepest depths, and I pull it up, letting it wrap around me, then I use a strand of it to tug at Cole.
Just as he's about to vanish, leaving his brothers stranded with the incriminating egg, I latch onto him and his smoke dissipates. He looks at me, wide eyed. "How did you do that?"
"I finally realized you're right. I'm more powerful when I tap into my darkness. But it has to be on my terms, even if I don't totally know what those terms are."
With my powers fully open, I feel my veins fill with all the elements, and I tremble from the influx of magic surging within me. My body rises from the ground, hovering, my arms spread, my skin glowing as the storm around us rages.
And suddenly my mind is flooded with a history of memories that don't belong to me, but I see it all, in an instant, the past and present and future are one, and my thoughts expand beyond what I thought possible.
When I open my mouth to speak, it is not my words that come forth, and it is not my voice that is heard.
"If you are going to punish anyone, Son of Light, punish me," the being within me says through my mouth. "It is not your brothers who are to blame, but myself. I was the one who decided on your punishment. I was the one who condemned you for what I thought I saw." I flick my wrist and summon a whip made of golden light, it's edge rzor sharp. "If you must inflict pain on your tormenter, then whip me. Punish me." I hold out the whip, unafraid of what is to come. I accept whatever choice is made. "Or, you can break the cycle of pain and punishment and revenge. You can change the karmic path of everyone in this house and you can forgive, as I should have forgiven you. As I now do. You are forgiven, Son of Light, and restored with full honor and apologies to the Order of the Druids, should you wish to return. I cannot take away what is done, but I can offer this." With another flick of my wrist, a glowing golden light travels from my fingertips to Cole, and runs over his body. His eyes widen and he lifts his shirt, marveling as the scars from his torture disappear, replaced by healthy skin.
The magic still buzzes through me, and I see what happened to him all those years ago. The blood and tears and pain. The humiliation. The betrayal. And as much as I feel hurt and betrayed by a man I love, I also see the pain that led him down this path. And I know that whatever voice is speaking through me, I also need to follow heed and forgive, as hard as it is.
Cole leans forward, and I close my eyes, resigned as he reaches for the whip.
I will accept the lashes. The punishment.
I will accept whatever karmic end I must.
But when nothing happens, I open my eyes. The whip is still in my hand. But the egg—and Cole—are both gone.
The Goodbye
Girls like her were born in a storm. They have lightning in their souls, thunder in their hearts, and chaos in their bones. ~Nikita Gill
With my power drained, I fall to my knees, bruising them on the stone floor. Derek's strong arms pull me towards him and keep me from hitting the ground face first. I feel as if my power, my energy, has been sucked dry. In a panic, I dive into myself, to my core, and to my relief I still see a small trickle of each element within me.
"My magic," I whisper, my eyes fluttering closed as darkness pulls at my consciousness. "It's almost gone."
Derek kisses my forehead. "You're okay. Just rest."
I wake in the way one does when they don't know how much time has passed or what day it is and there was something very important to do.
"The trial!" I yell, startling Liam, who is dozing in the chair next to my bed.
He rubs his eyes, then smiles when he sees I've returned to the land of the living. "You gave us a scare," he says, coming to sit on the bed next to me.
He hands me a glass of water and I down the entire thing in one gulp. He refills from a pitcher on my side table, and I drink that as well. Three cups later and I feel like a water balloon about ready to burst, but the cobwebs are finally clearing out of my head.
He hands me one more cup, and I'm about to decline, but I sniff it and realize it's not water. "Matilda?" I ask.
He smiles and nods. "You won't like it, but it will help you get your strength, and magic, back sooner."
It's worth it, I suppose. I gag it down and try not to vomit, then look around for some indication of what time it is.
"We need to get to the trial." I say, putting the cup down and trying to crawl out of bed, but Liam stills me with a hand on my knee.
"There was no trial," he says grinning.
"What? Why?"
"Charges against me have been dropped. Lack of evidence, I guess." He shrugs. "I'm free."
It takes a moment for his words to sink in, and when they do, my heart nearly bursts from the joy of it. I reach for him, sliding one hand behind his head, letting my fingers dig into his hair, as I pull his face towards mine. Our lips brush against each other gently at first, then he groans and scoots our hips closer, deepening our kiss as he does.
Just as our passions rise, Liam pauses, resting his lips against my neck as he holds me close. "You're still recovering. The healer in me can't let this go further until you have all your strength back."
I sigh and kiss his neck, to let him know what I think of his restraint. He groans again. "You're killing me, Eve."
Within his arms, while enjoying the scent of him and feel of him, I dive into myself again and am relieved to discover the elements within me are growing once more. I didn't lose my magic, it was just tapped out. Good to know that can happen.
And then my thoughts return to the trial, and I sit back. "I don't understand. Even without evidence, it seemed the dragons were determined to use you as the fall guy for this. What changed?"
"I don't know. But I'm grateful."
I smile. "So am I. Now Alina won't have to grow up without her father."
He nods. "What we talked about before…"
"It's okay if you want to change your mind about me adopting her," I say, though in my heart I had come to want it very badly. But still, I can't hold him to something he decided when he thought he was going away for life, or worse.
"I'm not changing my mind, Eve," he says, shaking his head as if I'm being absurd. "I'm checking to see if you've changed yours. I would understan
d, though I hope you haven't."
"I haven't," I say. "I want to be her mother. More than anything."
He smiles with true abandon, and it warms my heart, but then a sinking sensation steals over me. "But first, I need to tell you something, and it may affect your decision about this."
"I doubt it," he says. "But go ahead."
And so, I tell him everything. About Adam—or who I thought was Adam. About lying to him and about what came out of me when my powers activated during my confrontation with Cole.
"The weird thing was, when my powers hit, I was me but not me. Like someone else was speaking through me. I don't know how to explain it, but I said things that didn't make sense." I pause, frowning. "Anyways, I thought you should know all that before deciding on something so important. I know you're probably furious with me, and I don't blame you."
I wait for him to explode, to rage, to…I don't know, lose his temper, but instead he blinks.
That's it.
Just a blink.
"I've been wondering when you would tell me about Adam," he says, shocking the living hell out of me. "I've known for a while. I overheard the two of you at the Midwinter Festival. Though I must say, I'm so sorry my brother deceived you like that. That was cruel, even for him."
My heart lurches, both in relief that Liam isn't as angry as I thought he would be, and in renewed grief at remembering my brother really is still dead, and always was. Thinking I had him back, even knowing what he had become, gave me comfort. I didn't feel so alone in the world, knowing he was still in it.
He was the last person left alive who knew me as a child, who shared those memories of us growing up. Now, they live in me alone.
"Why didn't you say something if you already knew?" I ask.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he replies.
"Well, you are known for having quite the temper," I say. "And I didn't know what to do about Adam. He's my twin. I had to sort out what the right course of action was, and I didn't want you killing him."
A knock at the door interrupts us, and Matilda comes in. "I thought you might be awake," she says, smiling. "You have a visitor, my dear. Lilith is here for you."
"Thank you. I need a few minutes to freshen up. Can you tell her I'll be down shortly?"
Matilda nods and leaves, and Liam stands. "Do you want assistance dressing?" he asks.
I laugh. "I thought we weren't supposed to fool around? Doctor's orders or something?"
"There will be no fooling around. Strictly platonic."
He holds up his hands innocently, then slips one arm around me to help me from the bed. My legs are wobbly, and I walk about as well as a newborn colt. "How long will I feel this way?" I ask.
"It will take time for your strength and powers to return," he says as he guides me to the bathroom. "But I don't know specifically. You're a bit of an anomaly in the magical world, as I'm sure you've realized."
With Liam's totally platonic (sadly) help, I manage to bathe, brush my hair and teeth, and change into something appropriate. While dressing I notice the ring Cole gave me is missing from my finger. "Did you see my ring?" I ask. "Silver with black onyx."
"I know the one you're talking about, but no. I haven't seen it," Liam says.
Huh. It must have fallen off when my powers went all supernova.
I feel a sinking loss at that, at this one little piece I had of Cole. Despite my feelings for him being complicated, I can't change the bond we have. I can't pretend it doesn't exist, even within my hurt and anger.
Because when I think back to what he's gone through. From early childhood abuse into the adulthood that removed him from his life and family, I can see how he ended up where he did. Who's to say any of us would have acted any differently in the same circumstances.
Liam helps me downstairs and Matilda has food and wine waiting in the sitting room for me, and blood for Lilith, of course. I'm surprised to see she's brought someone with her. The cat girl from the Collector's party.
Lilith stands when I enter, then rushes to help me get seated. "What happened to you?" she asks. "You're as pale as…well, me."
"It's a long story," I say, taking a plate of food.
I glance at the girl and smile. "You look well… er, I realize I don't know your name. I'm Eve."
She nods. "I'm Sasha. Thank you. For…everything. Lilith told me what you did for me."
I direct a questioning look to Lilith, who shrugs. "She didn't have anywhere to go, so I took her in. I figured I could use a protégé. I have many businesses in this world and the mundane and no heirs. This seemed a perfect fit for us both."
I grin and offer the girl a plate of fresh bread and berries, which she accepts.
"That makes me incredibly happy," I say. "And the other matter?"
"Yes, the favor you asked of me," Lilith says with a devious smile. "It's been handled. The Collector has found himself indisposed for the foreseeable future."
"And there's no chance of him escaping or being found?" I ask. I may have crossed a line, asking Lilith to find a place the Collector could serve the prison sentence he deserves. But isn't this justice? Letting him go free to enslave and hurt others wouldn't have served anyone.
I've realized about myself two things since all that's happened with Cole and with who I thought was Adam. One: I've got a lot more darkness in me than I wanted to admit. And two: it's okay. I can use that darkness. I don't have to stay within the lines to feel morally comfortable with my decisions, but I can't act out of vengeance and I can't kill unless I'm actively defending myself or someone else. My choices have to be just, even if they aren't always lawful.
It's an ambitious line that not all would agree with, but it's what feels right to me, at least for now.
"He will never be found or escape, of that you have my word," Lilith says. "Would you like me to take you to him so you can see for yourself?"
"No, though I appreciate the offer. I actually have something else I need to deal with right now. And I trust you."
Lilith stands. "Very well then, I must be off. But stay in touch, Eve. I truly enjoy our friendship, and despite having lived longer than almost anyone, I can't actually call many people 'friend.'"
Her words touch me. Deeply. I stand and hug her. "I value this as well," I say. "And I'll pay a visit soon. Once the dust settles with all this stolen egg business."
Lilith's eyes widen and she reaches into her bag. "That reminds me. I was asked to deliver this to you."
She hands me a scroll, sealed with a dragon mark. I break the wax and read. "It's from Ava'Kara. She wants to meet with me later today. Alone." I look up at Lilith. "Do you know what this is about?"
"I haven't got a clue," she says, "but I wouldn't be late if I were you."
Once they leave, I head to my room and stand before the mantle, staring at my brother's urn. Funny that I never got rid of it once I thought he was alive. Maybe a part of me always knew it wasn't really Adam visiting me. But like Cole said, we see what we want to. I wanted to believe Adam was alive. I wanted to believe I hadn't lost my brother forever.
I take the urn and walk outside. Moon follows close behind. Sebastian notices me leaving but sees what I'm holding and doesn't interfere.
My strength is returning to me faster than I expected. The potion must have helped. I feel strong enough to make the walk I need to. Beyond our property, just past a grove of trees, is the shoreline for the only ocean on this world. I saw it on a map and have been wanting to visit but haven't had time.
Today I'm making time.
Today I'm going to finally say goodbye to my brother.
With Moon the only witness, I stand on the shore, overlooking the horizon, where the deep purples of the Dragon's Breath dance over the waters that ebb and flow. I take off my shoes and let my toes sink into the wet sand, the salty water covering them with each tide.
As tears flow down my cheek, I taste the salt of them on my lips, I realize we are all made of the ocean. Salt and water and tides
and depth and mystery and wonder. And so, I return my brother to the watery arms of the sea, to be held by her.
I open the urn and tilt it, but the air is stagnate and doesn't catch the ashes.
Closing my eyes, I dip into my power and pull just enough from air to encourage a breeze that takes my brother's remains and sweeps them into the water.
"Goodbye, Adam," I whisper, letting the wind carry my words with his body. "Every day I think of you. Every day I wish things had gone differently for us. You should be here with me, exploring this new world, enjoying this new family. They would love you. You'd have brothers. So many brothers." I chuckle. As children, I used to dress up like a boy and pretend to be Adam's brother sometimes, so the other boys wouldn't refuse to play with us.
"I wish I could go back in time, to the day before you died, and tell you all that is in my heart. Tell you that I would have endured a thousand bankruptcies and shitty apartments to have you back. I wish I could tell you how much I love you. How much I miss you. How a piece of me died with you."
I choke on my words as the urn empties, and I watch as his ashes drift on the current.
"I wish I could tell you there were other options. Other choices. You didn't have to take your life."
I wipe my eyes and think back on all the beautiful memories we shared as children. Even the hardest times feel sweet in reflection, because I had him. "I hope more than anything that you have found peace. That whatever awaits us in the afterlife has brought you healing and joy. Someday we will be together again. Until then and always, I will carry you in my heart."
The Sacrifice
Your love was born in the wild, growing from the soft earth surrounded by trees that were surrounded by stars. That is why the forest has such a hold on you. That is why sometimes if feels like the moon knows your name.
~Your Love by Nikita Gill
"I'll be with her," Lily argues, setting her glass of berry juice down firmly.
I Am the Storm (The Night Firm Book 2) Page 16
