by Jacob Chance
I lazed around the rest of Friday and through the weekend too. My leg felt much better after the first couple of days. Now it’s late Monday morning and I’m at the office trying to organize my notes on the Johnson case. His father likes weekly updates and for the amount of money he pays us, I don’t mind. I need to put a call in to him and find out where Scotty boy is now. I’m sure he bailed him out of jail Thursday night and made sure his lawyer was present for his Friday morning arraignment. Mr. Johnson doesn’t understand the part he’s played in making Scott the way he is. They’ve been bailing him out his whole life and now he’s an entitled little prick who thinks he can do whatever he wants with no consequences.
"Hey bro, how are you feeling?” Kyle pokes his head through my open door, before walking in.
I smile. “I’m good. It takes more than a little cut to stop me.” He fist bumps me.
“Thank God for that, man. I can’t do all this work by myself.”
“Besides, we’re like cats; we have nine lives,” I reply.
Kyle grimaces. “I think I must’ve used all mine up by now. I’m going to go meet with a new client and then take Janny to lunch, but I’ll be back later.”
“See you then.”
Chapter Five
Kenna
I pause with my hand on the entrance to K.D. Investigations. Kyle invited me to lunch with him today and since I don’t get to see my big brother as often as I’d like; I didn’t want to refuse him. Even though coming here means I’ll probably have to see Derek. I’m still rattled from what happened the other day.
When I left his place, my thoughts were a jumbled mess. Oh, my God. How did I let that happen? I’m so fucking weak when it comes to him. Why can’t I resist him? I hate the effect he has on me. I just played right into his hands. I’m sure he and his giant ego are having a good laugh at my expense right now. I’m not going to let him get to me. I’m going to remain strong and forget about what happened.
I drove the entire way home with my hands gripping the wheel so hard my knuckles were white. By the time, I got home, a tension headache was pounding away at my skull. I took some ibuprofen and went to bed, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I hate Derek Santiago. Why did I have to go over there? I should have kept my distance. Now it’s too late.
I’ll never be able to forget how his fingers played me – the images he conjured up with his filthy words whispered against my lips. I finally pulled the covers over my head to block out the hedonistic images of Derek careening through my mind. It didn’t work.
I stayed busy through the weekend picking up an extra shift on top of my regular ones. It kept me from thinking about Derek, but now there’s no way to avoid it. I’m about to enter his den. I just hope I make it out of here unscathed. He has a way of getting to me like no other.
I open the door and enter the small reception area. They don’t really use this space unless they set up a meeting with a client. For the most part they deal with people on the phone or through email. I move down the hallway and peek into Kyle’s office to say hi, but he’s not there. Crap. I know he’s here; I saw his car parked alongside that sexy-as-sin Mustang. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I know where he is and it’s the last place I want him to be. I open my eyes and glance in the direction of Derek’s office. Come on Kenna. You can do this. Time to put your big-girl panties on. I move forward to the sounds of the Death March in my head.
I pause outside, collect myself and knock on the open door. Kyle turns around and smiles at me.
“Hey, Kenny.” I can sense Derek’s stare as if he’s touching me, but I don’t look at him. I focus on my brother and return his smile.
"Hi, are you ready?” I ask hoping to get out of here as quickly as possible.
“Hi, Kenna.” Derek’s deep voice moves through my entire body. I fight the urge to shiver when I think of the words he whispered against my lips just a few days ago,.
“Do you want me to touch you, Kenna?”
I clasp my hands together in front of me to stop myself from fidgeting. “Hi, Derek,” I answer in a cool tone. Kyle walks over to me and pulls me in for a quick hug. I make eye contact with Derek. His dark brown eyes stare at me while he absentmindedly spins a pen through his fingers.
“Hey, I need to make a quick call before we go. I’ll only be a few minutes. Derek, keep Kenny company for me.” He pats my arm and leaves me standing there facing the devil himself. I chew on my bottom lip; my gaze moves about his office making note of the lack of personal items. The walls are painted a neutral tone and are bare except for one picture. It’s an action shot of Adam Vinatieri kicking the winning field goal in the first Super Bowl the Patriots won. Derek loves football and you’d be hard pressed to find a more loyal fan of the New England Patriots.
There are wooden shelves that run the entire width of the wall behind his desk. He has two footballs in glass cases displayed there – one is signed by Drew Bledsoe and the other by Tom Brady. I’m not sure why he keeps them here instead of at his house. I know he paid a lot of money for them.
“So, Kenna are you still going to pretend nothing happened between us?” Crap. I should’ve known he’d never let it go.
“I wouldn’t say I’m pretending it didn’t happen. It’s more like I’m forgetting about it.” He pushes his chair back and he’s out of it before it even has a chance to stop rolling. He prowls in my direction, never taking his eyes off me. My heart’s tempo picks up speed as he moves closer. When he stops in front of me my knees go weak. He closes his hand around the back of my head, gripping hard and pulls me forward until there’s no space between us. His hold loosens only to clench my hair at the nape of my neck. He tugs my head back, forcing me to look up into his dark chocolate eyes just as he melds our mouths together. My eyes shut on a groan as I taste him. Our kiss is just as hot as it was the other day; maybe even more so. My scalp tingles from the tight grip he has on my hair. He’s being rough and I love it. I clench the top of his broad shoulders through his black button-down shirt and dig my nails in. His other arm wraps around me, holding me tight; chest to chest. Our tongues wage war, each of us fighting for control. He pulls my hair, his way of reminding me he’s in charge. I gasp at the searing desire that courses between my legs and has my knees quivering. His hand slides down my back to the bottom of my ass. He clenches one of my cheeks in his hand and pulls me forward until I can feel his hard length pressing on me. I rub myself on him like a cat in heat and wrap my leg around the back of his. I need more. Oh, Jesus I want to come right now.
“Get up here and rub that pussy all over me.” He bends his knees, picking me up and walking me backwards. My legs squeeze his hips tight and I grind myself against his very noticeable hard-on. Our lips are still tormenting each other with biting kisses and sinful licks when he releases his hold on my hair, shutting the office door. He backs me up against the cool wood and draws back from my mouth. He looks at me so heatedly I wish we were somewhere else. Some place we could take this all the way without my brother finding out.
His hands cup my breasts. “If we were alone I’d be buried inside your tight pussy by now.” He dips down and bites on the skin along the length of my collarbone. I push my hips against him and moan. His thumbs circle my nipples on top of my shirt. I want to feel them on my bare skin.
He rubs his cock in between my legs and rocks my clit perfectly. “Feel what you do to me? I can’t wait to bury myself so deep inside you and make you scream my name, Leoncita,” his voice is hoarse with passion. “It’s going to happen. Maybe not today, but it’s going to fucking happen,” he growls in my ear.”
I want it to happen and I hate myself for it. Maybe I just need to have him and get him out of my system once and for all. He’s like a new dessert I need to try. He can’t possibly live up to my expectations. Once I have him I’ll realize it was all in the build-up.
His lips claim mine again and my fingers move into his thick, dark hair. We’re interrupted by a knock on the door. D
erek releases me back to my feet and tucks me behind the door before he opens it.
“What’s up man? He calmly asks; with one hand on the wall and the other holding the edge of the door. His voice is normal; his breathing is even. No one would ever guess that only seconds ago, he was talking dirty and dry-humping me.
“Do you know where Kenna disappeared to?”
“Yeah, she said she was going to wait for you outside,” he answers believably.
“Okay. Do you want me to bring you back some lunch?” Kyle asks. I hold my breath and wait for him to notice me here.
“No, thanks. I need to go out soon. I’ll grab something then.” He runs his hand over his head.
“Okay bro, see you later.” They fist bump before he walks away. I exhale a big sigh of relief.
Derek closes the door and then leans his forehead on it. “Fuck, that was close.” He picks his head up and looks at me. “Your brother can never know what happens between us,” he cautions me.
“Yeah, I know,” I huff. “Don’t worry. I won’t be telling anyone that dirty secret,” I’m insulted he just assumes I would.
He opens the door and I walk past him. Once in the hallway I turn around and face him one more time. “Bye for now.”
“Where were you?” Kyle’s waiting when I step outside the front entrance.
“I was using the bathroom.” I hope he doesn’t notice I’m lying. I’ve never been a good liar and Kyle has always been able to tell. “How’s Janny? What’s she doing today?”
He smiles. Yep, that did the trick. He’s such a lovesick fool for her, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I never thought I’d see the day he’d let someone in enough to fall in love. I couldn’t ask for someone better for him than Janny. They’re perfect for each other.
We walk to Kyle’s favorite pizza shop and place our order at the counter, before finding a booth to sit in.
“How’s work been for you? I’ve barely had time to talk with you lately. You’re so busy grabbing extra shifts all the time.” He studies me.
“I know, but I need to work them if I want to make extra money.” I shrug my shoulders.
“Do you ever wonder if Mom and Dad could live their lives all over again, if they would do things differently?”
My eyes narrow at him. “What do you mean? Not have us?” I play with the salt shaker, spinning it on the table. I don’t want to talk about our parents. I’ve never gotten over the loss of them and I never will.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I wonder if they would have worked less and played more. Maybe we should’ve taken more vacations than we did?” He rakes his teeth over his bottom lip. “I’m sure they thought they’d have time for all those things.”
Kyle gets up when they call out our order number and I’m left alone with memories of our parents. I wish more than anything the day of their accident had gone differently than it did. I was being a typical teenage girl; moody and unhappy with life in general. My parents asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with them and I rolled my eyes and gave them my ‘seriously?’ face and huffed out ‘bye.’ I’ll never forget the sad, but understanding expression on my mom’s face. I never imagined those would be my last minutes with them. Had I known I wouldn’t see them again I would have at least told them how much I loved them – told them they were the best parents in the world and how lucky I was to have them.
The guilt of my horrible behavior still eats at me; even after all these years. For a long time, I was convinced I caused their accident by saying that one single word. I now know that it wasn’t my fault, but to this day I still can’t bring myself to say goodbye to anyone I care about. It’s just some silly superstition, but I always say ‘bye for now.’ It makes me hopeful I’ll see them again.
Kyle returns to the table, balancing a tray with our salad and our two drinks on one large palm and our large pepperoni pizza on the other. He places each item on the table one at a time without any mishaps.
“How’s that for service?” he asks with a grin.
“If this private investigator gig doesn’t work out, you can always be a waiter.”
“Good to know I have something to fall back on. It’s smart to have a plan b.” He returns the empty tray to the front counter and I study him while he walks back toward me. There’s a lightness about him now. I know Janny is the reason for it and it makes me happy to see him not taking life so seriously. Kyle was saddled with the responsibility of raising me since he was twenty-three years old and I know he would never think of it as a burden, but dealing with a fifteen-year-old girl wasn’t exactly a piece of cake for him. I was a mess when our parents passed – sometimes I think I always will be. I’m not sure how you ever get over a loss of that magnitude. If there’s a way, I haven’t found it yet.
“What else have you been doing besides working?” Kyle asks before taking a large bite of pizza.
“Not much. I’ve been too tired from all the extra shifts I’ve been picking up.” I take a sip of my Coke.
“I think you need to find a better balance between work and play.” He looks at me to make sure I’m listening. “The point I was trying to make earlier when I was talking about Mom and Dad, is that life is too short to waste it working.”
I snort. “Am I hearing things? Are you, the king of working too much, trying to tell me how to live my life?” I know he means well, but he’s starting to piss me off.
“Look, I know this would be better coming from someone else – then again, maybe I’m the best person who could say this to you.” He rakes his hand through his hair. “I’ve wasted a lot of years burying myself in my work, not letting people in. I’m lucky things went the way they did and I have Janny now. If I hadn’t given her a chance, I’d still be working seventy hours a week and not making the most of my time.” He looks away for a moment before his gaze locks with mine. “I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes I did. Take a break and go have some fun, Kenny. You’ve earned it.”
“Working long hours makes me happy. What’s so wrong with that?” I scowl at him. “I love my job.”
“I’m glad you enjoy your job, but you don’t have to bury yourself in it. When was the last time you went on a date?”
I bite my lip, holding in the sharp retort on the tip of my tongue. “What do you care, Kyle? Why does it matter to you?” He has no right to be asking me these questions.
“I love you, Kenny and I want to see you happy. I want you to find someone who takes care of you and watch you raise a family.” Who does he think he is?
“I’m not going to have this discussion with you. My love life isn’t your concern or anyone else’s. Why do I have to have a man in my life? Can’t I be single and happy? I’m a young, strong, independent woman who’s perfectly capable of being both of those things at the same time.” I flick my hair back over my shoulders. “I don’t need dating advice from Mr. ‘I don’t do relationships’ now turned into ‘I now send pictures of a toy ducky to my girlfriend’ every time I miss her.”
Kyle chokes on his pizza and erupts in a mad coughing fit. I hand him a glass of water and wait for the coughing to subside long enough for him to take a sip.
“Fuck, Kenny. You know about those? I’m going to have to have a serious talk with Janny about oversharing.” He shakes his head. “And to answer your question, of course you can be single and happy. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I just don’t want you to close yourself off to the possibility of having it all.”
Later that night I’m in my bed staring up at the way the shadows from the street lights play on my ceiling. I like to study them and figure out what they resemble. I do the same with clouds in the sky. I’m not doing that now though. I’m too busy replaying Kyle’s words in my head and acknowledging the merit in what he said. I know I work too many hours and I need to have more fun.
Maybe I can see if Lana wants to go out for drinks Friday night. She’s fun to hang out with and I don’t have a lot of friends. Since I graduated from sc
hool, I’ve become more of a loner.
Diane, my best friend from college, moved away to California last year and Liz, my other close friend, is out of the country on business. My social life has tanked.
I know Kyle wants me to meet someone so I can be happy like he is, but I just don’t know if it’s in the cards for me. Derek’s face flashes in my mind and I picture the way his chocolate brown eyes bore into mine this afternoon. That kiss between us was electric. I’ve never felt anything like it. He’s the only person who’s ever made me feel more than a passing attraction and I can never really have him. I can have sex with him, but I’m not naive. I know I’ll never have his heart – not like he has mine.
Her apartment still smells like the perfume she favors, when I walk inside. It’s a fruity and spicy scent mixed together – like a juicy apple with a hint of cinnamon. She’s been gone for an hour now. I followed her to K.D. Investigations and watched her until she was inside safely – one can’t be too careful these days. I made my way back here enjoying the beautiful October Day. Ah, fall in New England, is there anything better? The air is fresh and clean here; not like the polluted air of New York City. I was so used to it I didn’t even realize how bad it really was until I returned here to Boston.
I was able to pick the lock on her door with no problem at all. It wasn’t even a challenge for me. She foolishly only uses one of her locks – the one on the handle – the easiest one to pick. I removed my shoes at the door. I don’t want the sound of their soles echoing on the hardwood floors. Her landlady lives below her and something like that would clue her in that I’m up here.
I take my time strolling around her apartment. It’s spacious and clean, with a large flat-screen TV mounted on the largest wall. There’s a cabinet below it filled with Blu-ray dvd’s. I open the glass door and take a look at her collection – Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead; two of my favorite shows. She has great taste. I close the cabinet doors and saunter into her bedroom. I need to see where she sleeps every night so I can picture her here. Her room is bright with sunlight pouring in from the two large windows on the opposite wall from the doorway. Her bed is king sized and we’ll need every inch of that space when I make her mine. I stand there picturing her full breasts bared to me as she lies on top of the white comforter with her legs spread wide open. Only a tiny pair of black satin panties hide her slit from my view. Fuck. I’m getting hard just imagining it. This isn’t the time to indulge myself in fantasies. I’m here to learn what I can. Any little detail about her matters to me. Now, while she’s busy is the perfect opportunity for me to do this.
