by Jacob Chance
I pat her hands with one of mine. “Ready?” I ask.
She leans forward her chin resting on my shoulder for a moment, her arms squeezing me tight. “Yes, I’m ready. Go slow, Derek. I’m scared.”
I reach back and run my hand back and forth along her thigh, soothing her. “Don’t be scared Leoncita, I’ll never let anything happen to you.”
I feel like I let her down by not being able to protect her from this situation. I want to keep her under lock and key and make sure nothing ever happens to her again. Living the rest of my life without her would be unbearable.
I watch her chest rise and fall in conjunction with the ventilator. The harsh sucking sound of the machine reminds me how close I came to losing her and, how much time we’ve wasted. Never again will I wait to tell her how much I care about her. Why did I place so much stake in what others would think?
I’m still sitting in the same spot two hours later when Kyle walks in.
“Hey, how are you holding up?” He heads toward the other side of her bed and takes hold of her hand.
I rub both my hands up and down over my eyes. “I’m good.”
“I just spoke with her doctor. They’re going to start weaning her off the ventilator and the meds. She should wake up by tomorrow morning if all goes as planned.
“That’s fantastic. I’m going to run home and take a shower. Do you want me to bring anything back here for you?” I ask.
“No, man, I’m all set. Why don’t you stay home and get some sleep? I’m here with her, and Janny will be here too. There’s no reason for all of us to lose sleep.” I nod my head. I don’t want to go home, but maybe he wants some time alone with her. They’ve always been closer than the average siblings. Losing both their parents at the same time made them rely on each other. I don’t want to intrude if he wants this time with her.
“I’ll be back tomorrow. Call me if you need me to bring anything back for you.” I take one last glance at Kenna before I leave her room. It takes me a couple more minutes of pacing in the hallways to convince myself she’ll be okay if I go home for the night.
I return to the hospital the next day with sandwiches I bought for Kyle and Janny. They must be sick of hospital food by now. I’m on my motorcycle so I had to tuck the paper bag inside one of the saddlebags.
Once inside, I head straight to the I.C.U. waiting room. Janny’s sitting alone and she looks lost in thought. She doesn’t see me until I’m almost upon her. I sit down on the couch next to her and place the bag of food on the empty cushion between us.
“Hey. How are you holding up?” I rub her arm and study her face. She has dark circles under her big blue eyes and she looks like she has the weight of the world on her petite shoulders.
She quirks her lips in a small closed-mouth smile. “I’m holding up. Kenna is awake now.”
“That’s great news. What has you so worried?”
“I’m just worried about Kyle. He’s been so stressed out with all of this. I know it’s probably ridiculous, but I worry about his health. This has been a lot for him and he’s barely slept. I just don’t want him to push himself too hard and have something happen.” Her eyes fill with tears. “I can’t help but wonder what other crisis we’ll have to deal with? What is the universe going to send our way next?”
“Hey, you don’t need to worry about Kyle.” I pause and wait for her to look at me. “He’s the toughest bastard I know and he’s not going anywhere. Hell, that fucker might be immortal. He’s survived a bullet to the brain and brain surgery. How many other people can say that?” I reach in the bag and pull out the paper-wrapped sandwich. “Here, I brought you a buffalo chicken salad and a bottle of water. Where’s Kyle? I have one for him too.”
“Did I hear someone call my name?” Kyle jokes as he walks in. I stand, freeing up the space on the couch next to Janny. “Here, man, sit next to your beautiful fiancé before I steal her from you.” I wink at Janny and she smiles. “Here’s some lunch for you. I’m going to go say hi to Kenna.”
My stomach is unsettled as I walk down the hallway toward her room. I’m resolute in my decision to not waste any more time than we already have. I’m going to tell her just what she means to me and let the chips fall where they will. At least I’ll know where I stand with her. If she doesn’t want to give us a shot, then I’ll make myself scarce whenever she’s around.
I slowly open her door in case she’s sleeping, but once I get a few steps closer to her I notice she’s awake and her beautiful whiskey-colored eyes are watching me. I beam a smile at her. I’m so overcome with relief that she’s awake. I want to run down the hallway shouting it at the top of my lungs, but I don’t want to leave her for a single moment.
I stop beside her bed. “Hi.” I caress her cheek with the back of my fingers. “I’m so happy to see you awake right now. You scared me.”
“I can’t believe I got shot. It must be a rite of passage in my family,” she jokes.
I rake my teeth over my lip and shake my head. “Don’t make a joke about it. I thought I was going to lose you, amor de mi vida.”
“What does that mean?” she asks, her voice hoarse.
“Amor de mi vida?” She nods.
I stare into her eyes. “It means love of my life.” Her eyes go wide. “I love you, Kenna. I always have.” Her eyes fill with tears and I watch helplessly as they start to roll down her cheeks one after another.
“Why are you crying? I didn’t mean to upset you.” I run my hand over the top of her hair.
“I’m not upset. I’m crying happy tears. I love you too. I didn’t know you felt that way about me.” She presses her lips together for a moment and then she whispers. “I never thought you would.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a dumbass. I’ve fought my attraction to you since day one, but it didn’t take long for real feelings to develop toward you. I guess I’m a sucker for your hot and cold treatment of me.” I take her hand in mine, caressing the back of it with my thumb. “I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I saw you and I’m always going to love you, Kenna. You’re it for me.”
“I’ve been in love with you forever,” she confesses. The only way I could keep my distance from you was to pretend I couldn’t stand you.” I lift her hand to my lips, kissing the back of it.
“We never have to pretend again. Now we can always be together.”
Kyle and I are waiting in the hall, while the doctor examines Kenna. Janny went home to take a shower.
“When are, you going to admit to yourself that you’re in love with my sister?” Kyle asks. My head snaps in his direction, shocked at his question. “What? You didn’t think I knew?” He scowls at me.
Oh fuck. “Let me explain,” I interrupt. He shakes his head.
“You guys have been gone for each other since the day you met. I’ve always known you’d end up together. I never brought it up because I knew you’d just deny it. You couldn’t even admit to yourself how you felt about her.”
“You’re not upset about this?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Of course, I’m not upset about it. I was just fucking with you. I can’t think of anyone who’d take better care of her than you. That being said, I still think you deserve this.” He nails me in the jaw with a right cross and I take it, knowing I deserve it – and more.
I shake it off and smile at Kyle. “You’re lucky I feel like I deserve that. Bullet in your head or not, we both know I’d kick your gimp ass.” He laughs and holds his hand out for me to shake. We clasp hands and end in a hug.
“I promise I’ll be good to her.”
“You’re damn right you will be or I’ll cut off your balls.” Kyle smiles. “You’re going to have your hands full with her, dude.”
“I’m counting on it.”
Kenna is discharged from the hospital after a week of being there. I want to bring her back to my house, but she won’t hear of it. I’m not leaving the parking lot until we resolve this.
“Are you a n
urse?” she asks me, her eyebrow raised.
My eyes narrow. “What kind of question is that? You know I’m not.”
“Exactly. Who better to take care of me, than a nurse? You know what? I just happen to know one” she gloats.
“Fine, I’ll take you home, but you’re going to be seeing a lot of me.”
“I can live with that.” She smiles at me. I take her hand, raise it to my lips and kiss the back of it, before resting it on my leg.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask her.
“What? Go to my place?” she asks. I know she’s being purposely obtuse. I smile; life with her will never be boring.
“No, I’m talking about us. Are you sure you want to be my girlfriend?” I shake my head. “Calling you my girlfriend seems like an inadequate label for what I feel for you. I prefer amor de mi vida.”
“I love hearing you call me that.”
“Good, you’re going to be hearing it every day for the rest of your life.”
Two weeks later
“Derek, do you have something to do with this?” Kenna asks, gesturing to the small, wrapped box on her coffee table.
I sit down next to her and smirk. “I might know something about that. I think you should open it and see what it is.”
She looks at me, a small smile playing on her dark-pink lips. She picks it up and shakes it next to her ear. It makes a rattling sound. She raises her eyebrow, before shaking it again.
“Just open the damn thing,” I tell her. I’m curious to see what she thinks of the gift I chose for her. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little apprehensive about it.
She carefully rips the seam where the paper is taped. I don’t know why she’s taking so much goddamn time. “Open it and put me out of my misery.” I laugh.
She sticks her tongue out at me and takes even more time – that’s my girl. When the paper is finally undone, she drops it on the coffee table. She studies the plain white box as if it’s the most fascinating thing she’s ever seen and I know she’s fucking with me. I lean over, growling against her neck and teasingly nip her skin with my teeth. She giggles and squirms as my lips slide up the delicate skin of her neck and nibble on the bottom of her ear.
“You better open that now or I’ll make you wait. I’ve got a great idea of how I can keep you occupied for hours.” She bites on her full bottom lip and it’s all I can do to prevent myself from pushing her down on the couch and having my way with her. I haven’t been inside her pussy since before she was shot and I want to make sure she has plenty of recovery time before we do. It’s not an easy feat though. She’s a constant temptation for me.
I kiss the corner of her mouth and sit back, watching for her reaction. She removes the lid and gasps. Her eyes swing up to meet mine, flashing with happiness. A large smile stretches across her lips.
“I love this, Derek. It’s beautiful.” She gently lifts the gold charm and studies it. Her fingers lovingly trace over the delicate shape while she looks it over.
“I chose this charm to go with the one your parents gave you. I was thinking that your K might be lonely and want to spend each day side by side with a D.” Our eyes meet and there’s a sheen of tears in hers. She cups my cheek with her palm. Her skin is soft and warm against my face.
“I want to tell you a secret.” I crook my finger, calling her closer. She leans in, my lips below her ear. “I was lonely without you and I didn’t even realize it.” She turns and rubs her nose against the end of mine. She smiles and for a moment I get lost in all the love I see in her eyes. “Let me put this on for you.” She turns, giving me her back, scooping her hair off her neck. It only takes a minute for me to add the new charm and refasten the chain.
She looks down, caressing the gold letters where they lie on her chest. She glances up at me. “I love this; it’s perfect. I love you so much.” I lean my forehead against hers and cup the back of her head with my hand. I move down to drop a kiss on the end of her nose and then capture her lips with mine for a slow, deep kiss. Our mouths leisurely dance against each other, both of us content knowing we don’t have to rush anymore. We’re together and have all the time in the world.
This week has been an extremely busy one for me, between balancing a full load at work and trying to make enough time for Kenna. I glance at the bottom of my computer screen, ten o’clock. Fuck. How did the time get away from me? I told Kenna I’d be home by now. She’s waiting for me at my house. I pick up my phone and type out a quick text to let her know I’ll be leaving soon and then focus on finishing up my work.
I’m typing up this week’s final report when I hear a strange noise. I stop what I’m doing and hold still. I focus on the absolute silence around me, listening for another sound that shouldn’t be there. By the time, I realize someone is standing just outside the door to my office, it’s too late. Before I can react, Scott Johnson steps through the doorway pointing a gun in my direction. He’s covered in sweat and his hands are trembling. He is clearly in the throes of some painful withdrawals. I am not about to stand up or try to make a move, as in his current condition Scott is completely unpredictable.
“Scott, what are you doing?” I try to distract him.
“It’s…it’s all your fault!” he shouts.
“Take it easy, Scott.”
“No. No. I won’t.” He steps closer and his trembling is worse than I’d noticed. “You’ve ruined my life… you ruined everything.” He starts to cry. Not good.
“Why don’t you put the gun down and we can talk.” I try to sound reassuring.
“No. There’s nothing to talk about.” He gets quiet.
“My parents cut me off…” He begins to sob and lowers the gun down to his side. “And it’s all your fault!” he shouts, pointing the gun back up at my face as he steps over to the other side of my desk. We are now just a few feet apart and the gun is inches from my face.
I see the look in his eyes and in a brief moment that feels like an eternity, I know my life is about to end. Scott attempts to fire the gun but somehow hits the button just outside the trigger guard, ejecting the clip.
I don’t bother to try and thank God or somehow understand my good fortune. Instead I spring from the chair and jump across the desk, kicking him square in the chest with as much force as I can deliver. He is thrown back off his feet and crashes into the wall opposite my desk, crumpling to the floor in a breathless, sweating, trembling heap.
I pick up his gun, slide the clip back in and chamber a round, enraged at the helpless feeling I’d just experienced. As he starts to rise I swing the butt of the gun handle down across the side of his face and watch as he falls to the floor shaking, wailing and now bleeding. I snatch his ass up off the floor and shove him into the chair at the front of my desk. I place the end of the barrel directly against his forehead and slip my finger onto the trigger.
“Just kill me… please kill me,” he begs in between sobs. “I’m the one who shot your girl. I didn’t mean to. I panicked.”
My hand tenses as the anger flows through me like a fiery wave. He shot Kenna? It’s all I can do to pull the gun back away from his skin. It’s only thoughts of her and the life we’ve planned together that keep me from putting a bullet in his head and making him disappear forever.
“Kill me... please kill me,” he whispers.
I walk back behind the desk on uneasy legs, dropping the gun into one of my desk drawers and pull out a bottle of Jameson to steady my nerves. After two quick shots, I am calmed enough to realize what needs to happen next.
Forty-five minutes later I’m back in my car after dropping Scott off at the police station. I called his father and filled him in on the events of tonight and what Scott confessed to me. I’m officially done with Scott Johnson’s case. My charity ended with not shooting him.
One week later
Kenna’s arms wrapped around my waist and the soft weight of her breasts against my back have been teasing me for the past two hours that we’ve been rid
ing around on my motorcycle. This is only the second time she’s ever been out on it and with winter approaching in only another six weeks, we had to take advantage of the Indian summer weather we’re having right now.
We pull up in front of the garage and Kenna gracefully maneuvers off the bike to open the garage door for me. I drive the bike in, parking in the usual spot. She presses the button just inside the door, closing us inside the garage. The lighting is dim, the only illumination coming from the windows on the two large doors.
I shift into neutral and keep the engine running, while I remain straddling the bike. Kenna takes her helmet off, shaking her long dark tresses all around her shoulders. My breath halts for a second while my eyes track her every movement. She’s so fucking beautiful; it’s difficult to believe she’s all mine. I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but I’m sure as hell not going to fuck it up. I tell her everyday how much I love her and show her in every possible way I can imagine.
I undo the chin strap, remove my brain bucket and hang it on one of the handlebars. When I crook my finger at Kenna, she saunters over with an impish smile on her face like she can read my mind. Does she know what I have planned for her right now? When she gets close enough, I reach out and hook my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. Our chests crash together, our lips collide and my hand slides from the small of her back down to caress her curvy ass. Her hand goes to my cock, tracing the shape through my jeans. Her fingers move to the button, deftly undoing it and sliding down the zipper seconds later. The sensation of her hand wrapping around my cock has me groaning into her mouth. She slides her hand up and down my length, keeping the pace slow and the pressure of her grip strong. I pull my mouth from hers, my eyes drift shut while I focus on what she’s doing to me. I inhale a sharp breath when her warm, wet mouth surrounds me, sliding from the tip almost all the way down. Oh Jesus. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the sensation of her taking me in all the way to the back of her throat. It’s fucking incredible. She swallows and I can feel her throat muscles constricting around me. It’s enough to almost make me lose control. I grip her hair and pull her mouth up to meet mine in a wet kiss.
