by Jacob Chance
I casually reach for her hand, clasping my warm palm against the softness of her pink glove. My fingers wrap around her tiny hand and I realize how petite she is. How will she handle my unorthodox sexual tastes? My eyes flick over and notice her nervously chewing on her bottom lip. I squeeze her hand and she glances at me. Our eyes lock. “Relax, Lana. We’re just two friends enjoying each other's company.” She nods, looking forward. I give her hand another squeeze. “For now.”
I purchase hot chocolate for both of us; hers with a mountain of whipped cream, mine with mini marshmallows scattered across top of the steaming surface. She declined the piece of apple pie I tried to get for her.
We settle into a booth near the back of the cafe.
“Tell me about your life in Seattle.” I study her.
As my words register, her eyes show a flicker of panic. It’s gone in a second, so brief, I wonder if I’ve imagined it.
“There’s not much to tell.” She blows on her hot chocolate before taking the first sip. When she lowers the mug, there’s whipped cream just above her upper lip and I fight the urge to lean forward and lick it off.
I shake my head. “I don’t believe that. I find you fascinating, and I’m a great judge of character.” I sip on my hot chocolate and gaze at her over the top of the mug. “Who’s Christopher?” I ask moving in for the kill. I’m sick of wondering. I need to know what I’m dealing with so I can adjust my plan if need be.
She places her mug down on the table with a clatter, closing her eyes for a moment. I can tell she was thrown off by my question.
“He’s my ex-boyfriend.” Her eyes open, darting away from me, staring off into the distance.
“Were you together for long?” I hold my breath waiting for her to answer. I want her to say no. I want this guy to be an insignificant part of her past.
She chews on her lower lip. “We were together for two years and engaged to be married.”
Fuck. It’s worse than I thought. She was in love with this guy, probably still is.
“Why did you break up?” I ask, cupping the warm mug in my hand.
Her gaze meets mine and I can see so much pain reflected there. I want to do whatever I can to take it all away.
“He left me. I wasn’t enough to keep him.” Her eyes shine with unshed tears before one falls, trailing slowly down her cheek.
“He was an idiot to walk away from you.” She shakes her head and wipes her cheek. “If I had a girl like you, I’d never let her go. I’d be glued to her side day and night, closer than a stalker.” She giggles and I smile, happy knowing I made her laugh.
We sip on our hot chocolate in silence for a few minutes. I can feel her eyes burning into my profile as I stare toward the front of the cafe. I caught a flash of long blonde hair and thought it might be Kyle McKenzie’s girlfriend, Janny, but it’s not.
When I swing my head back our eyes meet and she flushes, knowing she’s been caught staring.
“What’s your brother do for work?” I act as though I didn’t see her studying me.
“He’s a tattoo artist.” She plays with the spoon on the table. “He does incredible work.”
“Do you have any tattoos?” I ask, already suspecting the answer.
She shakes her head. “No, I always wanted one, but…” she trails off before chewing nervously on her bottom lip.
“But what?” I prod her, cocking an eyebrow.
She sighs. “Christopher said my skin was beautiful and didn’t need any decoration.” She glances at me.
I keep my expression impassive. I don’t want her to shut this conversation down, no matter how much I’m seething inside at hearing her utter his name.
“He said he had enough for both of us,” she continues explaining, a small smile playing around the edges of her pink lips. Thinking about him makes her happy. Fuck.
“Do you have any tattoos?” she asks.
“I do. I have a bunch, but they’re all above the elbow. I couldn’t really work in the field I did and be too inked up. There’s a stigma that goes along with having them and I wanted to be successful. I never got one where anyone in my professional life could see it. Now I’m a man of leisure and I might have to change that.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you if you’d decided what you wanted to do,” she mentions before taking the final sip of her hot chocolate.
I shake my head. “I’m not sure yet. Maybe I’ll live on a tropical island and learn a trade like carpentry. I can make furniture from exotic woods for the rest of my life.”
Our walk back to our building is filled with a comfortable silence. I’m encouraged by how she shared some of her past, telling me about Christopher. The fact she was engaged to the dude sucks, but I’m not going to let it ruin my plans for Lana. I’m here and he’s not.
We pause in front of the door to her apartment. I want her to ask me inside so I know she’s enjoying my company, but I’m not going to accept.
Lana pulls her keys out of her pocket and unlocks her door. She pushes it open, spinning around to face me, her cheek leaning on the edge of the wood. “Do you want to come in?”
I shove my hands in my pockets to keep myself from pulling her to me for our very first kiss and shake my head. “No, I have some laundry to do and some phone calls to make.” A look of disappointment passes over her flawless face. “How about if I take you out for dinner tomorrow night?”
She chews on her bottom lip and studies my face for the longest time, before answering.
“I’d like that.” Her eyes are bottomless blue-green pools staring up at me and I can’t wait until I see them under me, when she’s at my mercy and I’m buried inside her tight little pussy.
Soon there will be no secrets between us.
NINE YEARS AGO
Perfection. Her tits feel so perfect in my hands. So, soft. Fuck. I must get my dick inside her. At seventeen years old, I should’ve had sex a long time ago. This is the first time for both of us. I pinch her nipples and a punch of pleasure hits my gut.
“Ouch. That hurt, Zack,” she complains.
I run my palms over her nipples and then squeeze her tits in my hands. “How’s this?” I lower my mouth to suck one while my fingers circle the nipple on the other one.
“So, good,” she moans.
As my tongue slides over the tip of her nipple and my lips close around it, my dick is so hard it throbs. I suck hard and her hips buck up, putting her wet pussy against my dick. My teeth close around the tip and bite on it. She cries out and I groan; more turned on than ever. Causing her pain is bringing me pleasure. I’m not sure why and it feels too fucking good to analyze it.
I slide a condom on my cock and slide it back and forth along her slit. I line myself up with her opening, nudging and pushing inside, until I can’t go any further. The feeling of being clenched tightly inside her is indescribable. I pull my hips back and then thrust all the way until I’m lodged balls deep.
“Ow, Zack. That hurt so bad.” Tears fall down her cheeks and I can’t stop myself from moving my hips. In and out, harder and harder I plunge in her tight little pussy. I love knowing it’s my cock stretching it for the first time. I lean down, licking the salty tears tracking down her cheeks and the drop of blood from her bottom lip where she’s bitten it. Seeing her at my mercy, helpless to stop me while I take pleasure from her hot little body has me coming with a triumphant yell. My head drops back as I catch my breath.
I feel great.
No, I feel fucking phenomenal. Like a fucking Viking conquering new land. I descended on her pussy and breached it. I made it mine, using it how I pleased. I can’t wait to do it again.
Chapter Ten
Lana
Leaning my head back against the closed door, I try not to panic. I close my eyes and try to slow down my racing heart.
Why did I just accept his invitation to dinner?
I had every intention of saying no. I had a mini argument going on inside my head when he asked me and I’d thou
ght the cautious side of me had won out, but then I found myself saying yes. I’m not sure why I agreed to go out with him. It can’t be because he’s gorgeous and sweet to me. And definitely not because every time he touches me I feel like I’m more alive than I’ve felt in over a year.
My eyes open when I push off the door and walk into my living room. Stopping in front of the fireplace, my hand reaches out to lift my favorite picture. Staring down at the image of myself sandwiched between my brother Sean and Christopher, I smile at how happy the three of us looked. This picture was taken on the night Christopher and I got engaged.
EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO-MY TWENTY SECOND BIRTHDAY
“Are you having a good time darling?” Christopher asks as he pulls me into his arms.
My chin resting on his chest, I smile up at him. “I am. Thank you for all your hard work. I can’t believe you pulled this off without me finding out”
He flashes a smile. “It wasn’t easy to keep it a secret from you. I wanted to tell you. You’re my best friend; I tell you everything.” He leans down and kisses the tip of my nose.
“And there were about twenty different occasions where I almost caved. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of your shocked, adorable little face when you saw everyone waiting here for you.” His hands slide down to rest on my lower back. His face lowers and his lips brush against mine in a whisper gentle kiss. “Happy twenty second birthday, Lana.”
Rubbing his nose on mine, he says, “come with me, darling. I want to show you something.” He holds his hand out, I don’t hesitate to take it. I’d follow him anywhere he wanted me to. The past two years with Christopher have been the best years of my life.
He pulls me along with him out a set of double doors and onto the deck of Sublime, the dinner cruise boat he rented for my party.
We’ve been cruising on the Puget Sound for the past hour and a half while we ate a five-course dinner and now the DJ is scheduled to play for another two.
We slowly meander down the side of the deck together. He stops when we’re in an isolated area, pulling me in front of him.
Reality fades as I lean against the railing, my back against his chest, his arms wrapped around my waist. It’s like we’re in our own little world. We gaze out at the exquisite scenery, the beautiful colors the setting sun has painted the sky are reflected in the water.
“Wow, so breathtaking.” I say, in awe.
“You’re breathtaking.” He whispers, his lips touching my ear. His hands slide up my arms, to my shoulders, gently turning me around. His hands move up to cup my cheeks. “Do you know how much I love you?” He asks, his expression earnest.
My head nodding, I bite on my lip. I’m shocked and overcome with emotion at all the love I see reflected in his eyes. I can’t believe this man loves me - me, the little nerdy girl.
“The day I met you was the best day of my life until now. Do you know why today is even better than that day was?” he questions as his hands move down my neck and onto the tops of my shoulders.
“No,” my voice sounds hoarse. Between his words and his touch, I’m weak with emotion.
“Because today is the day I hope you’ll agree to be my wife.” His white teeth show in a quick grin. He drops down to one knee, a shiny diamond ring clasped between his fingers. “Lana Edwards, you make this world a better place for me. There isn’t a minute when I don’t want to be with you.” I can’t hold the tears in anymore; one trails down my cheek until it rolls off the edge of my jaw. It lands on the floor next to Christopher.
“Is it raining?” He laughs, before continuing. “Lana Edwards, will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?”
A smile so big it hurts my cheeks, breaks over my face. “Yes. Yes. Yes,” I shout and before I know it I’m in his arms being spun round and round. When he stops moving I’m dizzy and I cling to him as he sets me on my feet.
Eyes the color of jade stare into mine as he cups my face in his warm palms. I want to look in these eyes for the rest of my life.
“I can’t wait to grow old with you, Lana.”
My finger lovingly traces the shape of Christopher’s handsome face. The memories this picture has stirred up have tears in my eyes.
I still love you. I wish I could hate you. I should hate you.
Why did you leave me? A single tear trickles down my cheek, its irony not lost on me.
“Why didn’t you fight for us?” I ask as if he’s there to hear me. I thought you were happy with me. How did I miss the signs you weren’t?
Zack texted me earlier today, to remind me about our date - as if I could forget. It’s all I’ve thought about for the past twenty-four hours.
I barely slept last night. My mind was too busy dealing with all my self-doubt.
Why does he want to go out with me? I don’t understand how someone like him could possibly be attracted to me.
And it’s not like I’m the most exciting person to be around; unless you want to talk about how cool social engineers are and how many forms of social hacking I came up with during my internship at Techdeck. If that’s your thing, then you might find what I have to say exciting.
Sitting across from him now at the upscale restaurant he’s brought me to, I’m feeling even more unsure.
Zack’s attractive on an average day, but in a shirt and tie he belongs in the devastatingly handsome category. His thick unruly hair is pushed back like he spent some time styling it and his beard has been neatly trimmed.
Glancing down at my simple black dress, I frown. I feel grossly underdressed. My attire looks like I should be going to a funeral instead of my first date in over a year. I certainly don’t look like I belong with someone as stylish as Zack.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asks, interrupting my moment of uncertainty as if he can sense the direction of my thoughts.
Am I that transparent?
“You’re always beautiful though, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” He flashes a grin at me and raises his water glass to his lips.
My fingers nervously adjust the neckline of my dress. I’m not comfortable accepting compliments. “Thank you,” I answer stiffly.
God, could I be anymore awkward?
I smooth a hand over my hair and then rest it on the table. Zack’s large hand comes down to cover mine.
My eyes slowly lift to meet his, afraid of what I’ll find. If I see regret in his, I’ll die. I’m relieved when I take in his crooked grin.
“Lana, relax. There’s no reason to be so nervous.” He squeezes my hand, before releasing it. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves and see what happens.”
I bite on my lower lip. I feel like I owe him an explanation as to why I’m such a wreck. “I haven’t been on a date since Christopher,” I explain, my voice hoarse.
I carefully lift my water glass to my lips. The waitress overfilled it and with the way my hand is shaking I’m lucky when I don’t spill it all over myself. The ice cubes clink against the glass as I set it back down on the table.
“This is the first date I’ve been on with someone other than Christopher,” I confess.
He doesn’t react. He just sits there his light blue eyes calmly studying me before asking, “You’ve never been out with anyone else?”
I shake my head and press my lips together.
The waitress brings our entrees, placing them down in front of us, before disappearing as quickly as she appeared. I appreciate the momentary break from the conversation, but I know I need to make him understand I’m not like most women my age.
“I grew up really sheltered. I skipped some grades which made it difficult to form lasting friendships.” I smooth my napkin out in my lap.
Zack listens attentively as I give him a brief rundown of my unconventional education. The good, the bad, and the ugly. When I finish, I take a bite of my dinner, chewing it slowly as I compose my thoughts.
“I’m sorry. Childhood can be the loneliest time in your life. You’r
e surrounded by other kids, but still all alone.” He studies me for a moment. “When did you meet Christopher?”
“I was twenty years old and working on my Ph.D. when I met him. No one had ever expressed any real interest in me before.” I lift my eyes from my plate and find his gaze on me.
“He was your first boyfriend?” He raises an eyebrow.
I nod my head. “He was my first everything.”
Chapter Eleven
Zack
Fuck. How am I supposed to compete? Firsts are hard to forget. I don’t say anything, I just focus on my meal and quietly seethe this guy owns all of hers. There must be something I can do she’s never done before.
“What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done?” I ask.
She smiles. “Coming on this date with you,” she answers.
“You don’t really mean that do you?” I ask, unconvinced she’s serious.
She nods. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I grew up sheltered and taking risks has never really been my thing.”
“What about moving here? That was risky, I’m sure,” I mention.
“Not risky; just necessary for my peace of mind. This date feels riskier to me.”
“Well then, I guess I better think of something we can do to make sure this date lives up to your expectations. I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“I don’t think you could. You’re already so good at reading me and making me feel better.” She smiles. “I’m not sure how you’ve remained single. I’m sure there are a lot of ladies who wanted to be your girlfriend.” Her cheeks flush pink and her eyes lower to her plate.
“I’ve been busy with work and other things. I’ve never had time to be in a relationship, until now.”
Her eyes flick up to mine full of questions she wants answers to, but doesn’t want to ask.
