by Quinn, Cari
Nash’s gaze tracked to me, the raw terror shining in the blue for a second before they went flat and dead. Like the Nash I remembered so long ago. The one with his emotions in a box.
The one who just might get us both out of this.
Please God.
Forty-One
Sweet bleedin’ Mary.
Lindsey was so pale. The toes of her boots were dragging as Kyle hauled her up straight again. He wrapped her tight enough that I could see her wincing at his hold. I’d been listening to him rant at her, trying to figure out when was a good time to climb the winding stairs to the rooftop.
My sanctuary.
The place I’d finally shared with someone.
This woman who I didn’t deserve in the best of circumstances. But now it was me who brought this to her. It was my twisted past with Kyle that had been hurting her all along.
Put it aside.
Lock it out.
I couldn’t think about him as my boyhood friend. Not right now. Not with a fucking knife to her side.
I loosened my shoulders and held my hands out. “No one needs to get hurt. You wanted me here, you got me here. Just let Lindsey go.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Why would you hurt her?”
“Simple. You love her. You don’t deserve her.”
The simple, logical way he said it made my chest seize. “Of course I don’t deserve her.”
Lindsey gasped, trying to stay on her feet.
“Hey. Do you want me to cut you, duchess?” Kyle’s voice was almost musical. A laugh under the Irish. A bastardized version of his overly friendly voice.
“Alex.” Her voice was thicker and lower. Like her tongue was too big for her mouth. He’d probably given her the same thing he gave me. Shaking the fog had only been helped with the pain of my fall and an adrenaline rush of her disappearance. For the first time, she looked small. My larger than life woman never seemed small and helpless.
My anger spiked. Using my face, using the name I gave her. In his warped way, trying to do everything to pin blame on me and take my life at the same time.
How had I not seen this in him?
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, don’t talk to her. I told you she’s no longer for you.”
My jaw clenched.
“I gave you a chance, you know. To end it peacefully. I thought for a moment it would be enough to just take you out of the equation, but again—” He let out a dramatic huff. “You have some sort of good luck charm around your neck.”
I frowned. “What?”
“That night with your Jeep. Or didn’t you even notice you were losing control? Or maybe you liked it.”
I shook my head. “What do you mean?”
“I was following you. You were all over the road. I thought finally!” He lifted his knife hand for a second as if the Bohemians had scored a goal. He even laughed like the old days in the pub watching the game. “But no. I had to fucking save you again.”
“You…”
“I drugged you, mate. Fuck! Do you know how hard it was to get you away from your soda? Just for a second. It was all I needed.”
I knew it. Had truly known it all along, but his eyes full of glee tossed another sandbag of guilt onto my shoulders. “Why?”
“Why not?”
God, he hated me so much. “Fine. Life for a life works for me. Take me.”
He shook his head. “See, now that game is over. This one is way better.”
“She doesn’t have anything to do with us. She’s an innocent.”
“That doesn’t work for me. She’s tainted by you anyway. No, it’s a life for a life. Seems fair. You ruined my life in the accident. Then you left me to rot.”
“I didn’t. Never.” That I’d thought about it too many times to count while we were in Ireland shamed me. But after the accident, there had been nothing but our twisted co-dependence tied to guilt and darkness. “I brought you here with me. We both got out of Dún Laoghaire. Both came here to make a life.”
“No. See, that’s not really how it worked was it? You got the fame again. Your scars and flippant attitude made everyone want you more. Even if you didn’t see women panting after you, they were. The crueler you were, the more they craved you.”
He dragged his nose up Lindsey’s cheek and I growled.
“Like this one. I watched you in Ruin. How you were a savage with her.”
Lindsey sobbed and tried to push him away.
Kyle nuzzled her ear. His voice sickeningly sweet. “Though you didn’t push him, away did you? You like that monster inside him, don’t you? Probably makes you come even harder, right little rich girl?”
She flinched. “Stop. It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it? I watch out for him. I always have. Keep the shit away from him when he couldn’t be assed to do it ‘imself.” He tipped his head against Lindsey’s. “But you were different. Even from the beginning. I thought you were just a shag, but then he acted like a kicked puppy for months after you ran out of there after creaming your million dollar panties.”
“Enough,” My voice was a roar.
“No!” His eyes blazed. “Never enough. You didn’t see me. Ever. Even before that night as this one so kindly pointed out.”
“I didn’t.” She shook her head trying to wiggle out of his hold.
He pressed the knife tighter against her ribs and I had to hold myself back. Jamie was downstairs trying to talk to the police. To find a way to get them directions here. Again, my secrets were hurting her.
Hurting everyone.
“I mean, he left me in the basement of Trident. They felt sorry enough for me to give me a job. Poor Nash’s scarred friend. Ugly and talentless. It took me years of study to prove them wrong. What else did I have to do? No one wanted to look at me. And now I can pull magic out of nothing. Make any audio file shine. People started to seek me out. Then you created that mixing table and took it away from me.”
I took a step back. “What?”
“No one needed me after you created that. Anyone could clean up a file and make the most talentless hack sound studio perfect.”
“That’s not what I made it for. It was to take hours of work out of the studio. To save everyone money.”
“Ahh, but you were the one who got the money, weren’t you? Patented that up and you live here in this cement castle you hacked out of an old warehouse. Even here you can shine up shite. And I was back to the basement.”
I swallowed. I didn’t realize I’d taken away his jobs. But if it wasn’t me, it would have been another engineer. Another audiophile who found a way to cut hours of work out of the studio. “I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. You don’t see anything but your own bubble of self-loathing and genius. No one can do it as well as you. No one can be you.” Spittle flew out of his mouth, his eyes wild.
A flash of dark in the greenery behind Kyle made me pause. I was prepared to eat my words. To beg anything to get Lindsey free. But maybe I needed to get him on the attack. Off center.
To get one chance.
Because Jamie hadn’t listened to me. As if she ever listened to anyone. In my short time knowing her, I could tell anyone that.
But maybe her brand of crazy would help save the woman I loved. And in the end, that’s all that fucking mattered to me.
“You’re fucking right, no one can be me. I worked my ass off for every artist I took on. I earned that level of respect. You didn’t.”
Lindsey’s eyes went round.
Kyle’s eyes narrowed. The blue contacts giving him an otherworldly hue. “I wasn’t given the chance—”
“You think I was? I was no one. A step above a street kid from a town in Ireland no one had ever heard of. I had an ear and I used it. I honed it. I was just as broke and nothing as you were at one time. I just didn’t let my past hold me back.”
“Of course you didn’t. You were given everything while I—
”
“While you whined. You didn’t put in the work when we were kids, and you only did it here because the Brady’s weren’t here to pat your head and tell you that you were a good lad.”
“Don’t you bring my family into this.”
“Why not? You were the one who left. Your ma hated me for the accident, but you could have stayed. Could have had a good life.” I was laying it on thick and I hated the flinch with each slashing word, but not enough to stop. Because there was a truth to it. And God, I hated myself for it.
When we were kids, running the streets was fun and crazy. But I always wanted more. More spotlight, more music, more stage. Ireland wasn’t ever going to be enough for me. But Kyle just liked the fun.
He didn’t bleed for the music.
It didn’t follow him into dreams and was sometimes so loud that only the booze and pills had quieted it. But I’d learned to channel it in other ways now. And while the stage wasn’t ever going to be for me, I could live in the music.
I’d found a way.
Even if my light was strongest with Lindsey, I’d found some on my own. I just didn’t choose to see it before. The darkness was easier to hold close.
I stepped closer and Kyle’s arm flew out, knife slashing at me. Jamie took her shot. The knife wasn’t on Lindsey anymore. Jamie’s booted heel smashed into the back of his knee. “Don’t come any fecking closer. I’ll—” He screamed and pitched forward.
I dove for Lindsey, tucking her into chest. The arc of Kyle’s knife sliced through my leather jacket and shirt to skin. It wasn’t a deep cut thanks to my motorcycle leathers, but it was enough that I swore.
Jamie got up and delivered a downward punch that would do any Irish street brawler proud. But Kyle and I had grown up on the edges of Dublin. A single punch would never put us down for long.
Kyle came up with a scream, his mouth full of blood as he backhanded her. She went down in a pile of blue-tipped hair and leather. She shook her hair out of her face and gave a war cry, springing up after him again.
“Jamie.” Lindsey’s cry was enough to throw her off.
I lurched to my feet, but not fast enough. Kyle grabbed Jamie by her hair and hauled her around until he could get her in a headlock. Jamie wasn’t drugged and slow as Lindsey. She twisted and stomped on his foot to get free.
Kyle held her still. He was wiry, but it was all ropey muscle from constant physical therapy for his ruined tendons from the accident.
I glanced back at Lindsey to make sure she was okay, and the distant wail of a siren made Jamie a little too bold. I could see it building in her wheeling eyes.
“Cops are coming, asshole. Didn’t think this through very well, did you?”
He wrestled her tighter against him. “I did, actually. It will take them forever to find this fortress. Why do you think I picked it?” He tucked the knife along her jaw. “Now stay still, wildcat. I don’t want to cut this pretty face.”
“Do it, I dare you. I’ll shove those fake ass blue eyes into the back of your skull, you freak.”
He dragged her wrist up and flexed it enough for her to cry out. “Or I could break this. Maybe cut the tendons along your hands. Guitar, right? Think you could still play?” His voice was cold and cruel. “Physical therapy is quite the anatomy lesson. I know just what and where to slice.”
“Enough. This is about us, Kyle. Stop bringing them into it.”
Lindsey got to her feet behind me. She was still swaying, but she steadied herself with my arm.
“At this point, I’ll have to take what I can get. A life for a life is what I wanted. This little wildcat will do. Lindsey’s best mate is good enough. Maybe even better. I can watch Lindsey’s face as I do it.”
“No.” Lindsey’s horrified voice broke. “Me. It’s me you want.”
“All so altruistic. It’s disgusting. All of it is your egos talking.” He dragged Jamie farther through the greenhouse to my skylight viewing patio. The overhead was still open from when Lindsey and I spent the morning there together. “Come on, darling. Maybe we should fly.”
“What? No.” Jamie fought and the wail of the sirens got closer.
Kyle lifted her off her booted feet and tossed her up on the half wall where I had hardier plants in huge stone boxes bookending the ledge. He scrabbled up the stone steps and wobbled a little before pinning her to the ledge with his foot on her neck. “Don’t worry, I’m not heartless. I can break her neck first.”
“You’re not going to get away from here.” Lindsey’s voice was shaky, but strong. “Please don’t do this.”
We followed him to the ledge.
“Stay back.”
“Please.” I could hear the tears in her voice. It stripped me down to the bone. My heart hammered in my ears and the wind of the night seemed to be roaring around us. She clutched at my arm.
“The object never really was to get away, duchess.” Kyle’s voice was so final.
I didn’t think.
I couldn’t.
Or I’d never have done it.
I lunged. I jerked his ankle up before it could crush Jamie’s windpipe and he pitched back. The lapis color of his eyes burned into me as he fell back. I reached for him, but saw Jamie rolling with his momentum.
She screamed as she started to slide. I grabbed onto her jacket and twisted until the material was cutting off my circulation, but I didn’t let go. She was half off the ledge. The ground was so very far away.
Kyle was down there. I couldn’t stop staring at his legs. Their horrible angle in the pale yellow of my security lights.
“Lindsey!” My voice was a shout and she was there with me. My anchor as always.
Jamie clawed her way up my arm to my shoulder, and we hauled her back to our side. To safety. We landed in a pile together, my back scraped to shit on the stairs as we curled into a huddle.
Jamie was shuddering silently as Lindsey wrapped her arms and legs around her. I didn’t know what else to do, so I held them both.
A life for a life.
Dear God.
I bowed my head over Lindsey’s angel-bright hair in the darkness and held on to her. So much lost and so much found. The wreckage of secrets like shrapnel around us.
The bullhorn of a police officer from the ground made me just grip the two women tighter. I could only imagine what they’d do to my home to get inside, but the only thing that mattered was they were safe.
They were alive.
“Baby, tell me you’re okay.”
Lindsey nodded, but didn’t let go of Jamie.
One moment, it was simple night sounds. The sirens were off, save for the twirling lights bouncing off the buildings below. Just the earthy dampness of my plants and the night-blooming flowers I’d added all over my oasis. Sniffles had subsided to quiet breaths.
Then it was chaos.
Cops and paramedics came up the freight elevators. Police officers ran up the wrought iron stairwell.
“Jesus, did they call in the cavalry or what?” Jamie’s voice wasn’t quite as biting as usual, but it was nearly there.
“What did you say on the phone?” Lindsey whispered.
“That the freak from the MSG kidnapping was on the roof.”
I laughed. “God, you are something, Jamie.”
“Damn right. We saved the day, huh?” She gave Lindsey a sly smile. “Us bitches rule.”
“You certainly do at that.” And I was forever grateful for what she’d done. I wasn’t sure what would have happened if she hadn’t been there. If it had been Lindsey on that ledge.
Sweet Christ.
Two female paramedics crouched down in front of us. “I’m Diane.” She had a no-nonsense blond ponytail. “This is my partner, Kim. We’re going to make sure you’re okay and then you can talk to the police.”
Lindsey leaned into me as Jamie shook her off and stood.
“Miss, I need to check your vitals,” Diane said.
“I don’t need a damn stretcher, and if you put that
pressure cuff on me I’m going to wrap it around your neck.”
“She’s going to be fine.” Lindsey turned into my arms and pressed her face to my chest. “I’m so sorry, Alex.”
“I lost him long ago, duchess.” I winced. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to call you that anymore.”
“Don’t you dare stop. Don’t let him take another thing away from us.” Her blue eyes blazed up at me. “Promise me.”
I kissed her forehead. “I promise.”
Luckily, Lindsey was a little more willing to let the paramedics give her a once-over. They tried to convince her to go to the hospital, but she firmly told them she wasn’t going anywhere.
That was my girl.
The conversation with the cops didn’t go as easy. We reconvened in my kitchen area. A dozen officers were swarming all over my fucking house. They trampled my upstairs and downstairs as they took pictures and discussed whether it would be considered a crime scene or an accident.
We answered questions for close to an hour before Noah showed up with a trio of his security people. Oz, Zane, Teagan, and Cooper all demanded entry and the entire band was ensconced on my leather sectional.
Jamie was in the middle of them all. At least she was laughing most of the time. She kept getting a faraway look in her eyes that I understood all too well.
Finally, thanks to Noah’s help and the detective from the arena, they were able to wrap things up for the night.
The light of dawn stretched over the hardwood floor when the last officer left. Teagan was curled in the corner of one of the sections with Cooper at her side, both of them sharing one of my two throw pillows.
I wasn’t exactly equipped for guests.
Oz was stretched out on the chaise end of the U-shaped couch.
Zane had commandeered the ottoman and a club chair. And had also gained himself a new best friend in Brutus. He was sprawled across his legs, his massive head tucked into Zane’s chest.
Lindsey was tucking a lock of dark hair around Jamie’s ear. She’d finally passed out on the opposite chaise from Oz.
She stood up as Noah waved her over.
We both crossed to him.
