“For what? This wasn’t a circumstance he chose. There is a chance, maybe, that Dash will feel that Devan should’ve been wiser or perhaps informed him that he’d nurtured a . . . relationship with you, but Dash knows better than most of us that these things can’t be predicted. I’d imagine his priority will be staying out of this war.”
Zio rubbed his temples. “Do you think Devan will come back?”
“I have every faith that he will find it impossible not to, but you have to accept that Dash may not let him stay if it puts his own people at risk.”
“What will happen if he leaves?”
“To your bond?”
Zio nodded, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.
“It will fade, with time,” Varian said. “But it will be tough for both of you. Painful until the yearning to be together is gone. And then you will grieve, because you’ll know what you’ve lost. It will be hard to be with another.”
“I—”
Varian silenced Zio with a shake of his head. “Don’t even contemplate it right now. There is much to discuss with many people before any decisions need to be made, but know this, Zio. In a time of peace, such decisions would be yours alone, and I will do everything in my power to be sure you retain that right.”
Zio believed him. Varian’s humility was legendary. Their enemies believed it made him weak, but Zio knew it was his greatest strength. “I miss him.”
“I know. And you will every moment it takes to unravel this mess. Which is why I must go. Bomber is in need of some loving care from Tomas, and there are many conversations I must have before this night ends.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“For what? I will not repeat myself, Zio. There is no time. Your orders are to hold this camp with as little bloodshed as you can until you hear otherwise. If Devan returns to you, make contact with me when you can, but do not risk the safety of your pack. Is that clear?”
Varian’s alpha timbre vibrated deep within Zio, reaching parts of him even Devan couldn’t. He nodded and accepted his alpha’s scent mark. “I understand.”
Chapter Seventeen
Devan had been running for days and days. Weeks, maybe. Time had ceased to matter. White noise filled his head, the sounds of the never-ending forest drowned out by the screaming pain in his chest, agony that intensified with every mile he ran from his pack. From his newfound extended family. From Zio. But as much as it hurt, he couldn’t stop. Frenetic energy filled his veins and had become the only thing standing between him and the primal call to claim his mate.
He’s not your mate, though, is he? He’s the commander of the wolf pack unit you’ve been loaned to, and the last thing on earth his pack or the clan needs is the complication of a cross-species bond.
The fact that Devan had long ago ceased to think of the northern wolves as anyone’s pack save his own seemed a distant point.
I want him.
I need him.
I can’t have him.
Thirst drove Devan to a spring. He had no clue where he was—just that he was far enough from Zio that the compulsion to kill for him had faded, but the desire to be with him in any capacity burnt as strong as ever.
Devan’s paws itched. I have to keep moving.
Thirst quenched, he leapt the spring and ran on, not stopping even when the forest petered out. He darted across farmland and holiday parks, thankfully deserted for the winter. Across open fields in broad daylight.
At dusk, he came to the outskirts of a town large enough to house an armed police unit. I could run through the church square. Scare enough people that—
“Don’t even think about it.”
Devan froze, every fibre of him held in place by the unmistakable alpha timbre vibrating through his bones. Luca. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but somehow in his distant, rational mind, perhaps he’d expected Dash.
“Shift, Devan. Now.”
Devan was in his human form before his brain computed the order. After untold time running wild, it took him a moment to adjust.
Luca gave him that moment, eyeing him from a few feet away, arms folded across his chest, gaze stern. When he was apparently sure Devan was cognisant, he stepped forward. “We need to talk.”
“About Zio?”
It hurt to even say his name.
Luca nodded. “Among other things. Have you eaten? I have food with me.”
“I’m fine.”
“Of course you are. But I’m not Dash. I will not force self-care on you.”
“You’re not a healer,” Devan muttered absently.
“No, Devan. I’m not. I’m a soldier, which is why I’m here.”
“You know, don’t you?”
“If you’re referring to your triggered bond with the wolf, then yes. But that’s not my first concern.”
“Then what is?”
Luca raised an eyebrow. “Everything else. Dash was called to a meeting in Berlin. Representatives from the southern wolf packs were present, and they were angry that a Shadow Clan shifter had joined forces with the northern packs and fought against them.”
“Do they know it was me?”
“You weren’t mentioned by name, but it is widely known that there is only one clan shifter on British soil right now. Dash couldn’t deny it.”
Devan winced. Luca’s presence had gifted him the clarity of thought he’d been lacking ever since he’d caught Zio’s scent in that damn club, but he couldn’t decide if it was a good thing. Knowing he’d put his entire clan at risk made him feel sick. “I’m sorry.”
Luca snorted. “We tasked you with joining a pack, to move among them as a brother. A potential bond was always possible, and it’s unfeasible that you wouldn’t act to defend it.”
“That’s what we’re going with?”
“For now.”
It was on the tip of Devan’s tongue to apologise again, but a glance at Luca’s stern face stopped him. “I didn’t mean to shift. Varian specifically asked me not to.”
“With good reason,” Luca said. “He couldn’t have predicted this outcome, but he was right to be afraid. I do not believe any shifter but Dash could’ve prevented the certain war we faced a few days ago.”
A few days? Now the world had stilled, Devan found the fact that he didn’t know how much time he’d lost to his countryside rampage more disturbing than his human form could cope with. His skin itched, and his heart pounded. Only Luca’s imposing presence kept him present. “But he did prevent it? Dash, I mean?”
Luca nodded. “Dash has negotiated an agreement that you can continue your work with the northern pack on the condition that, barring self-defence, you do not fight again, nor do you complete your bond with their soldier.”
“What?”
“You do not complete the bond, Devan.” Luca spread his hands. “It’s far from ideal, but the only other option is to withdraw you completely, which would leave Varian at war without—”
“I’m not leaving. I can’t.”
“I thought you might say that.” Luca showed no flicker of annoyance at being interrupted. “And I won’t press you to examine why, because it’s just as well, but know this: Varian’s enemies will not hesitate to escalate this war if they believe the clan has picked a side. If you act outside of self-defence again, no one, not even Dash, will be able to halt the consequences.”
Devan dropped to the ground, head in his hands. Running free, it had been easy to narrow the impact of the situation to himself and Zio. Now, as reality set in, the gravity that came with it was terrifying. An all-out war would destroy the supernatural world, leaving human survival to the mercy of whichever side prevailed. And there were no guarantees which side that would be. “Maybe I should extract and come home. Send someone else in my place.”
Luca growled his disagreement. “It’s not possible. We cannot separate you from the wolf while the bond remains unfulfilled. The risk to him is too great.”
Devan jerked his head up. “What do you mean?”
/> “It’s not important right now.” Luca crouched and gripped Devan’s chin, forcing him to look at him as he laced his next words with alpha power far greater than Varian’s. “What is vital is that the northern pack holds the border and that they appear to do it on their own without outside help. Do you think your wolf can do that?”
“No one can run the border operation better than Zio.”
“Then you have two tasks,” Luca said. “Keep him where he needs to be, and keep him alive.”
Zio couldn’t remember a time when his lips didn’t buzz with the energy of a kiss that seemed to have happened to someone else. It felt like a century had passed since that stolen moment, hidden away from the world in a tent that was still heavy with fragrant arousal and . . . something else. Something beyond Devan’s unique scent.
It’s the bond.
Zio screwed his eyes shut, willing the errant thought away. But it went nowhere, and neither did he, apparently rooted to his spot on the ground, waiting for something that would never come.
He’s not coming back. After five long days, Zio didn’t know much, but of that he was certain.
Danielo slipped into the tent. “There you are. Varian called the satellite phone looking for you, but no one could track you down.”
“Didn’t try very hard then. I’m hardly hidden in plain sight.”
“All right, all right. Don’t get shitty with me.”
Zio spared Danielo a sour look, but it was fleeting. He didn’t have the energy to be a dick to one of his closest brothers. “Did he say anything about Bomber?”
“Just that he’s doing as well as can be expected. Tomas is taking care of him.”
“He should’ve died.”
“Uh-huh. But he didn’t.” Because of Devan.
The unspoken words hung between them like a cloud of poison gas. Danielo backed off and disappeared before either of them could say anymore.
Zio flopped onto his back, a low growl escaping him. He’d come to the tent convinced he’d be able to gather anything and everything Devan had touched and burn it on the nearest fire, but it hadn’t happened. Instead he’d found himself overcome by longing, and sulking it out had seemed his only option.
He closed his eyes. Five fucking days. Where is he? No one knew, or if they did, they weren’t telling Zio.
And by they, Zio meant Varian. Not that Zio had even asked. Pathetically, he’d been kind of hoping Varian would do his Jedi mind trick and throw Zio a bone.
You’re not that lucky. Or maybe he was. Maybe not knowing Devan’s whereabouts was a gift, because without it, there was no doubt in Zio’s mind that his wolf would want to follow.
On cue, his wolf stirred, urging Zio to shift and find his mate. To claim him and heal the gaping wound in his soul, but he fought it, clenching his fists until it subsided, the sharp ache fading to a dull roar. I need to sleep.
And after so many days without rest, resisting was a battle he lost.
It was early, barely dawn. Devan drifted through the camp, tracking Zio’s scent, all the while telling himself to go straight to the military hub and announce his return. Though the camp appeared to be asleep, somehow he knew Zio would be up.
Zio’s scent was freshest on the path that led to the tent Devan had once shared with him. Devan took a step closer, but a warm hand closed around his arm before he could take another.
“You’re back.”
Devan turned to face Danielo. “I am, and I have orders to stay.”
“For good?”
“For as long as I’m needed.”
The brief light in Danielo’s eyes faded. “You’re not going to complete the bond?”
“I can’t.” He spoke like a robot, rehearsing the speech he’d meant for Zio if Zio asked him such questions. “It would bring my entire clan into the war, which in turn would set every wolf pack in the world against you.”
“So? If they want to fight us that bad, they’ll find a way. Why not let it be this?”
“It’s not just about wolves. The world is bigger than you.”
“Your clan won’t fight?”
“Why should they? Why would they risk everything because of a potential bond nobody wants?”
Danielo tilted his head sideways. “You’re different.”
“Am I?”
“Yeah. For real. The Devan who saved us from annihilation never looked at me like you are now.”
“And how’s that?”
“Like you already died.”
Danielo let his hand slip from Devan’s arm and walked away, his disappointment in Devan, for whatever reason, seeping from him in waves that only added to the despair lacing Devan’s every breath. Didn’t he understand? Devan had no idea if he truly wanted to bond with Zio, and he never would. It wasn’t his choice. He had orders, and right now, in a war that wasn’t his, nothing else mattered.
Rubbing his chest, Devan gave in to the instinct pulling him towards Zio. They’d have to face each other eventually, and while Luca’s alpha command echoed in Devan’s mind, fresh and uncompromising, stronger than any bond, now seemed as good a time as any.
As Devan drew closer to the tent where he sensed Zio sleeping, he was almost convinced. Then he ducked under the tarpaulin, and yearning hit him like a runaway train.
He fell to his knees, breath stolen, as Zio slept on, sprawled out on the crumpled sleeping bags, innocent, beautiful, and so peaceful Devan could’ve wept. He’d always longed to see Zio like this, face untouched by grief and pain, smoothed of war-weary fatigue.
Zio. Devan reached out with shaking hands, caught himself, and pulled them back. Don’t wake him.
But it was too late. What little noise he’d made reached Zio, and the young wolf stirred. His eyes fluttered open; his senses came to life. He bolted upright, gaze fixed on Devan before the confusion of sleep had cleared, and when he spoke, it was a whisper.
“You came back.”
Chapter Eighteen
Devan sat by the tent entrance, muscles coiled and tight, as though Zio could blink and he’d be gone, leaving a void behind that no other could ever fill. Only his gaze was in motion, scanning Zio’s body, clearly checking him for injuries.
I’m fine, Devan. You healed me before I woke up at that damn-fucking sand plant.
Zio moved slowly, untangling himself from the cosy pit he’d knocked out in. Every part of him was screaming to touch Devan, but deep-rooted instincts warned him off. Don’t scare him.
It was hard to imagine that the last time they’d been alone like this, they’d been rolling on the ground, kissing, grinding . . . all the things they’d never do again if the set of Devan’s jaw was anything to go by.
Zio’s heart filled with dread.
He pushed it aside.
This isn’t just about that. And what do you want from him? To bond? To fuck? To fight?
Arguments for all three battled in Zio’s soul. He licked his lips. “Danielo told me what you did for Bomber. He thinks none of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t put yourself at risk to save him when you were already hurt yourself . . . that you were too exhausted to resist your instincts.”
Devan’s gaze flickered. “I wasn’t hurt when I healed Bomber.”
“You had been, though. I can still smell your blood.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Smell? Hate to break it to you, but I have even less control over that than I do anything else.”
A faint grin lit Devan’s features before he seemed to catch himself. “From here on out, it doesn’t matter what you can smell, you have to ignore it.”
“What?”
“I have orders, Zio.”
“From who?”
“My alpha, one of them at least. I’ve got three, remember?”
“Varian?”
“No. Luca.”
Zio swallowed the lump in his throat. “What were the orders?”
“The same as before . . . to act as pack healer whenever I’m needed, but thi
s time, with an add on not to fulfil any potential bonds.”
“Your alpha has ordered you to ignore a potential bond?”
“He’s ordered me to act in the best interests of everyone affected by it. Don’t you understand?”
“You keep asking me that shit, and you know I don’t,” Zio snapped. “Explain it to me.”
Devan sighed, and for a moment he was the same Devan that Zio had spent the last few weeks growing to consider a brother, a friend . . . and a lover.
Then his open expression shuttered. Jaw reset. “If we bond, your enemies will consider it confirmation that my clan has joined the war against them. If I leave, there’s a possibility you will become so affected by the loss of the bond that you won’t be able to hold this border and all kinds of other horrible shit Luca wouldn’t even tell me.”
“Loss of the bond—”
“Yes, Zio. The bond. Don’t make the mistake of thinking this is personal, because it’s not. It’s ancient biology that sometimes gets things wrong.”
“So, we have to . . . what? Incubate this bullshit until the war is over and we can go our separate ways without causing a shifter apocalypse?”
“Pretty much.”
“And it’s not personal . . . it’s biology?”
“Yes.”
Zio growled. “I don’t believe you.”
“So?”
“So fuck you.” Zio scrambled to his feet, skin already burning with the desire to shift. “You don’t get to come back here and tell me to suck it up and get on with it. If it’s biology, take it with you and fuck off.”
He started for the tent entrance.
Devan caught his arm. “I already told you I can’t do that. Besides, your pack needs both of us to win this war.”
“It’s your pack too.”
“It won’t be forever.”
Zio had never felt pain like this. To lose Devan as a potential mate was one thing. To lose him as a brother too? Fuck. It would destroy him. “So what do we do?”
“Nothing, Zio. Absolutely nothing.”
Zio understood the loaded meaning. He wrenched himself free of Devan’s grasp. “Fine. Whatever. I don’t give a shit.”
Fated Hearts Page 12
