Kelly laughed. “No. Who gave you that idea?” As she said this, she rested her hand on my arm and leaned in against me.
I froze and the magazine fell from my fingers to the floor.
What the hell was she doing?
Several of the crew working the photo shoot watched us with curious eyes. And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that one of the fan sites would have an article about this out by tomorrow. Since the speculation of our breakup had hit the internet, there was a new article with my name on it practically every day. For months now my manager had urged me not to confirm our split. She lived by the thought that ‘all gossip was good gossip.’ But I had to wonder what Ellie thought of it all. Would it hurt her if she read something like, Nate West and Kelly Patterson Get Cozy at the Entertainment Photo Shoot?
I cared about Ellie. I cared what she may or may not be reading. So I roughly whispered to my ex, “Kelly, kindly remove your hand from my arm before I cause a scene. You remember what happened the last time I caused a scene…your boyfriend lost his job.”
“For your information, he was never my boyfriend,” she refuted. “Why can’t you be a grown up about all of this? People make mistakes. I made a mistake. How long are you going to continue to punish me for it? Don’t you ever think about what we had? I want to give us another chance.”
Wow. I did not see that coming. “What part of cheated do you not understand?”
She huffed, then she stood and stormed off.
And that precise moment, my phone buzzed. I had it shoved down the leg of my armor costume and had to wiggle to get it free. It was too early for Ellie’s ‘goodnight’ text and was probably only my mother—she’d recently started texting and had a tendency to share her every thought. But on the off chance that it might be Ellie, I needed to check.
It wasn’t my mother texting. It was Ellie. This was shocking, and even more shocking was the fact that she’d used more than one word in her message.
Ellie: I’m sick of this bullshit not talking thing.
I took a deep breath and thought carefully about how to respond.
Me: Then you should talk to me. I’m here.
Ellie: Okay. Good. I’ll call you on Friday.
Friday? It was Monday. Why did we have to wait so long? I didn’t care that it was almost my turn for the photos—I just wanted to talk to her. Now. But then again, setting a date to talk, even if it wasn’t today, was better than nothing. At least she’d decided she wanted more.
Me: Friday is good.
Ellie: I miss you.
Ellie: It’s crazy. I shouldn’t, but I do.
Ellie: I haven’t figured anything out. But I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left you.
I was in the middle of a crowded room. It was loud—people talking, the camera flashing, and the photographer yelling directions. Ellie was three-thousand miles away. But my heart was slamming in my chest like she was right there with me. The rest of the world ceased to exist. The noisy room faded away. It was just me, my phone, the girl on the other line, and the stirring feelings I felt deep in my stomach. This wasn’t one sided.
Ellie: And now you probably think I’m insane.
Ellie: Sorry. It’s been a rough day.
Me: I really want to fucking call you right now.
I had so much to say. It seemed like maybe she did too. I waited in agony for her to message me back. Finally she did.
Ellie: Okay. For a minute.
Wow. Trying to keep calm, I dialed her number. As it rang, I took slow breaths. After three long weeks, I couldn’t believe I was finally getting to hear her voice again.
Then she answered. “Hey,” she said, her voice soft and unsure.
One word…and, Jesus Christ, my heart was palpitating. “Hey,” I repeated. “How are you? Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine.” She sounded about as nervous as I felt. “Sorry about the text explosion. I’m not sure what came over me. I couldn’t really stop myself.”
“You don’t need to apologize. Because I feel it all too. And I haven’t stopped thinking about you either.” I had my phone pressed to my ear so hard that I was afraid I might break it. I wanted more than just her voice. I wanted to see her. I wanted to hold her.
A silence fell over us. I was kind of scared to say anything else. Then I remembered she’d mentioned it had been a rough day and I desperately needed to know why. “Are you sure everything is fine?”
“Yes…well, no. I don’t know. I just went on the blind date from hell.”
My heart dropped. “You’re dating?”
“Yeah. Rhett’s crazy idea. He thought I needed to go out on a few first dates with both men and women as a way to figure out what I want. He set up a profile for me on some stupid dating website. It’s been a nightmare.”
I didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t my girlfriend—I had no right to stake any claim over her. And yet, the idea of her seeing other people, whether they were male or female, hurt like a sledgehammer to the stomach.
“Nathanial? You there?” she asked.
I’d stopped talking. She’d finally texted me more than one word and this was what she had to tell me? “I’m here.”
Then the photographer called my name. “Nate West, you’re up, man.”
“One minute,” I called to him before returning to my conversation with Ellie. “I’ve gotta go,” I told her. “I’m at a photo shoot.”
“Right. Me too. I mean, I’m not at a photo shoot, but I am at work. So yeah, I’m sorry I disturbed you. It won’t happen again.”
Dammit. I was screwing this up. This might be my only opportunity and I was wasting it on jealousy over nothing. If these dates with other people meant anything to her at all then she wouldn’t have bothered telling me about them. “Wait,” I said before she could hang up the phone. “If you’re dating random people to figure out what you want then I think…” I took a breath. “Then I think that I should get the chance to date you too.”
“What?”
“I want to date you.”
“Oh. Um.” I could hear her breathing through the phone line—almost like she was pressing her phone as hard as she could against her ear too.
“We can talk more about it on Friday,” I told her before she could tell me no. “Unless you want to talk before then. But I really do have to go.”
“Friday,” she whispered.
“And, Ellie, please don’t stop the goodnight texts. I look forward to them all day.”
“I won’t.”
We both hung up then. I inched my phone back in place under my armor against my calf. Then I walked across the room as if nothing life changing had just happened and let the photographer do his thing. But the whole time I stood for my pictures, I could feel goose bumps covering my arms. The moment this was over I was booking a plane ticket to the East Coast.
* * *
“You’ll meet me then?” I asked David. My brother was the busiest person I knew. He had two kids, a husband, and a full time job. I’d just seen him at Thanksgiving, but there were certain situations that called for a big brother. This was one of them.
“I would love to be there. Rogelio’s mom is visiting, so the timing is perfect. She can help him with the kids while I’m gone.”
“Okay, thank you,” I said into the phone.
“You really like this girl, don’t you?”
I laughed. That was an understatement. “You must think I’m out of my mind.”
“No, I think you’re romantic.”
“Well, romance is probably the opposite of what I need to win this girl. Anyway, my flight gets in at one tomorrow. Is that doable for you? Want me to buy your ticket? I would love to buy your ticket this time. Especially since you’re helping me out.”
I already knew the answer to this question. No.
Even though I knew they could use the extra money and even though I had more money than I knew what to do with, David only let me buy stuff for his kids—never for him
or for Rogelio. So a plane ticket was out of the question. Which meant it was a good thing David was a flight attendant or it would have been impossible for him to even entertain the idea of flying to meet me. But still, standby was always tricky, especially this close to Christmas, so I offered in case he’d give in about the money thing just this once.
“I’ll be there by one,” he said. “There are a million flights from Miami to Charlotte every day—getting one won’t be a problem. So, keep your money. Spoil the kids with it at Christmas time, but you know how I feel about you trying to give it to me.”
“I know,” I groaned. He could be so stubborn sometimes. “But if you ever need anything then please ask. You know I’d love to help you out more.”
“Yeah, yeah. I better get off the phone. I need to run everything by Rogelio. Make sure he’s okay with me leaving. Then I need to call Mom and tell her the plan. And don’t you dare bring that damn cat of yours—Rogelio’s allergic.”
I already knew Rogelio was allergic. He didn’t need to remind me.
That meant I needed to make a visit to Mrs. Stone’s house and see if she could watch Holly. I got off the phone with David, spent fifteen minutes searching the house for Holly, finally found her trapped behind the headboard of my new bed, and then headed down the beach for Mrs. Stone’s.
Ben answered the door.
I hadn’t seen him since Ellie was here. He looked thinner than I recalled—and it had only been three weeks. “Hey, man,” I said by way of a greeting as he let me inside. “I came over to see if Mrs. Stone would watch Holly for the next few weeks—maybe longer.”
Ben took the cat from my arms. Holly willingly went to him—that’s right, they were best friends. “Carrie’s taking her afternoon nap. But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. She loves Holly.”
“Okay, thanks.” I glanced around the house. There wasn’t a single holiday decoration up. My mom’s house in Florida probably looked like Santa threw up red and green everywhere. It was strange for it to be December and for them not to have anything out. “You gonna be here for Christmas?” I wondered out loud.
“Yes. Just me and Mrs. Stone. She has a few relatives in Kansas—her sister’s kids. But traveling is hard on her and she said she’d rather spend the holiday at home.”
Normally, I would have already left by now. Sticking around for small talk wasn’t my thing. But for Ellie’s sake, I kept on talking. “I’m sure your family would love to have you home.”
He shook his head, running his hands through his already disheveled hair. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m aware. Ellie told me about some of it.”
“Of course she did,” he groaned.
For some reason, his negativity pissed me off like no other. It made me want to rub in what I knew. And so I did.
“I know you were the kid from that Coast Guard accident. I know the rest of the world thinks you’re dead. I also asked my lawyer about the specifics of it—hypothetically, of course. Whenever you do decide to come home, you’ll be facing jail time with the military. Desertion was the term he kept throwing around. Maybe even up to a year behind bars. On top of that, the state of California could decide to sue. I can’t remember all the particulars, but it won’t be easy for you.”
He glared at me. “Gee, thanks for all the information.”
Maybe it hadn’t been my place to ask my lawyer about all of this. It was his business, not mine. But that hadn’t stopped me when I’d called him just after Ellie left three weeks ago. I’d lied and told my lawyer that I was thinking about writing a movie script and needed the information. I’d asked because I cared about Ellie. And if my brother had pulled something like this, these were the things I’d want to know.
“You’re welcome,” I told him even though I knew he was being sarcastic with me. “I also know that your family loves and misses you. They want you home. Even the blonde haired girl—she seemed to miss you too. What was her name?” I’d spent the day at Disneyland with all of them, but suddenly blanked on her name. Then it came to me. “Sydney—that was her name.”
“Sydney was here?” he asked, his demeanor changing. “She knows I’m alive?”
Bringing up Sydney had struck a chord. Interesting.
“Yes,” I said sharply.
“Oh,” he whispered.
“I gotta go,” I told him. “But you should consider going home to your family. There are a lot of people waiting on you. Trust me, when we lost my dad, Christmas was the hardest time of the year. Consider it. It’s never too late to fix things.”
We said nothing else to one another. I let myself out and then hurried home. Now that Holly was taken care of, I needed to pack. Maybe Ben didn’t want to be where Ellie was—but I sure as hell did.
CHAPTER 16:
ELLIE
I was on my third first date of the week. Today’s date wasn’t nearly as bad as the others had been. Mike was this guy’s name. He seemed relatively normal, nice even. So far we’d talked about 1) the beach and how much we both loved the surf and the sand, 2) tattoos—he had plenty of them and seemed to like that I did too, and 3) miniature golf. He was impressed that I owned my own mini-golf business and that that business didn’t require me to ‘conform to the normal rules of society.’ Whatever that meant.
“You know, I’ve seen you around before today,” Mike said. He palmed his beer but didn’t take a sip. He had dark hair, pale blue eyes, and freckles. Lots of freckles. This wasn’t necessarily a bad combination. It gave him an edgy vibe, especially when paired with his tattoos. I bet plenty of women found him sexy in a rock-star sort of way. “And I was surprised you agreed to go out with me.”
Well, I’d blindly agreed to this one. The dating website thing had been disastrous. So Rhett had resorted to setting me up with a friend of a friend. Mike wasn’t so bad, but this was going to be the last one of these I agreed to. It wasn’t helping. I felt nothing for him. Less than nothing. I kept zoning out thinking about someone else.
“I was surprised because I was pretty sure you were a lesbian,” he continued.
The word lesbian caught my attention. Right. How was I supposed to approach this? I still am? I used to be? I don’t have effing clue what I am? I grabbed my water because my throat suddenly went dry. “Yeah,” I muttered as I drank.
Then Mike leaned forward and whispered, “Have you ever had a threesome? Because I would love to have you and another girl at the same time. Are you into that sort of thing? You look like the type who would be.”
I choked on my water mid-drink.
Fuck this. Seriously? I stood up and walked away. I wasn’t about to sit there and pretend to be interested in him for another second longer. I marched across Chancy’s Claw in the direction of the bar. I was about to give Rhett, who happened to be working as a bartender right this minute, a piece of my mind. Except, he was already hurrying in my direction with a dumbass smile plastered on his face. “Your friend Mike is an asshole,” I started to say, but then Rhett grabbed my wrist and dragged me in the opposite direction before I could finish. We reached the bar and he pulled me down into a crouching position behind the counter.
“What the hell, Rhett?” I snapped at him, pulling my wrist from his grip and rubbing it because he’d squeezed it a little too hard. “Ouch. Did you even hear me? Mike’s a dick. What’s going on? Is Sydney here or something?”
“I wish,” he whispered. “No, we’re hiding because your celebrity just walked into the bar.”
Wait. What?
“If you’re screwing with me then that is cruel,” I growled, “and we are no longer friends.”
“Ellie.” He glared at me. “I wouldn’t screw with you like that. He walked in with some guy. They’re sitting at table twenty-five—one of the booths against the far wall. Ten o’clock. See for yourself.” He pointed up.
Needing to see, I slowly stood and stealthily peaked my head above the edge of the counter-top. Sure enough, across the room, sitting in one of the booths, wa
s the only celebrity I knew. Damn, he was even more handsome than I remembered—all bundled up in a black coat that only made his dark hair and skin stand out more. “Holy shit,” I whispered to myself and then ducked back down. “Why is he here?” I said louder to Rhett.
“I’m pretty sure it’s not for Chancy’s claws,” Rhett snickered to himself. “I’m pretty sure he’s here for you. So…what are you going to do?”
Probably vomit from sudden and complete nervousness. My stomach was now churning so vigorously that I felt like I might physically get sick. Or maybe I would hide out behind this bar for the rest of eternity. Both options seemed like real possibilities at the moment.
“Ellie,” Rhett said, nudging my arm. “Earth to Ellie. Want me to go talk to him? I won’t tell him you’re here if you don’t want me to. I can see what he wants—scope out the situation.”
For the first time since Noah had gone off to college, I missed him terribly. He was my sidekick and I needed a sidekick right about now. I needed him because I wasn’t sure if I was annoyed or thrilled by Nathanial’s sudden appearance. Either way, my heart was beating a million miles a minute. And Noah would have known what to say to calm me down. Rhett, on the other hand, was staring at me like Christmas had come early.
“Fine, go talk to him,” I told him.
“Yes.” He jumped up to his feet and left me alone on the floor.
I pulled out my cell phone and texted Nathanial immediately.
Me: What’s up?
Ever since I’d given in and broken our silence two days ago, our texting had increased tenfold. We were now messaging each other several times throughout the day—little random things, nothing too serious. But Nathanial had failed to mention that he was in the same freaking town as me! That information seemed kind of important.
His reply came quickly.
Nathanial: I’m having lunch with my brother. How did date number three go?
Me: Shitty. He asked if I wanted a threesome. Out of curiosity, have you ever had a threesome?
Fuck, why did I just ask that?
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