by Thom Collins
Gabriel was a lucky bastard. A very lucky bastard.
Arnie considered his options for getting past without being noticed. There were none, other than abandoning his plan to visit the pub and retreating the way he’d come. Should he? Yes. No. Why do you want to avoid him? Because it’s dangerous and I don’t trust myself. It’s the only way to stop thinking about him.
The young family moved away, then it was too late. Dominic glanced in his direction and spotted him immediately. Even with his hat and shades, Dominic recognized him and smiled, raising his hand in greeting.
“Hey there.”
Oh God, that smile. It was enough to melt him.
“Hi,” Arnie said, tightening his stomach and pulling up his chest. He approached, all reservation gone. “You must have been busy today.”
“Crazy. This thing weighs a ton,” he said, shaking the bucket. “And I’ve emptied it twice already.”
Dominic had caught the sun across his forehead and nose. Beneath the tan, his skin seemed to glow. And so did Arnie. Being close to Dominic sent a surge of heat throughout his body.
“Where have you been all day? I thought I would have seen you around,” Dominic said.
You did? The question meant Dominic had been thinking about him too. And what does that mean? Thinking about me in what way?
“Oh, I’ve been around. I took AJ to the fair.” He found it difficult to say anything meaningful or funny. Arnie could hold his own on live TV or radio interviews, but face to face with Dominic, he was inexplicably nervous. There was no reason for it.
Other than chemistry.
“Where’s the little man now?”
“With my sister. She granted me a few hours of freedom. She must have thought I needed it.”
“You look great. People aren’t bothering you, are they? There’s a lot of folk around today.”
“No. Everyone has been polite.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
They looked at each other, both smiling, their eyes connected. Neither of them spoke. The chemistry was strong, rendering words unnecessary. Arnie removed his shades and tucked them into the neck of his shirt. Without them, Dominic looked even better, more vivid. The hues of amber and gold in his eyes sparkled in the late afternoon sun.
Arnie glanced away, knowing he shouldn’t look at him like that. “I just saw Gabriel,” he said.
The sound of his name did nothing to lessen the brightness of Dominic’s smile. “Okay,” he said.
There was another awkward pause before Arnie added. “We had a drink together. In the restaurant.”
Dominic nodded. “You guys went to school together. That’s right, isn’t it?”
“We did. From nursery to high school.”
Dominic’s gaze flicked over him uncertainly. “Gabriel’s a nice guy.”
A nice guy! He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he? Is that the best you can say about him?
“He’s one of the best,” Arnie said, watching Dominic carefully for a reaction and failing to see one. It was funny that Gabriel hadn’t mentioned him either. Were they keeping it a secret? Playing down their relationship? Could be. Gabriel’s waters had always run deep. Arnie had to remember that not all gay men were as open as him, especially in small towns like Nyemouth.
It wouldn’t be the first time his mother had put about information people would rather not share. He’d shut his mouth on the subject before he embarrassed them both. If Dominic and Gabriel want to be discreet, it was their business and no one else’s.
“Where are you heading now?” Dominic asked.
He pointed at the pub behind him. “The Fisherman’s Arms,” he said with a smile. “I wanted to revisit an old haunt. AJ would be bored to tears in there, so I figured I’d grab a quick drink while I have the time.”
Dominic glanced at the pub then back to Arnie. His smile was at full wattage. “Would you mind a little company? The heat out here is killing me. A cool beer in the shade sounds like heaven right now.”
“Love to,” he answered quickly.
“Great. How about I meet you there in five minutes? Just let me hand this bucket in to the collecting team at the station, then I’ll be all yours.”
“What are you drinking? I’ll get them in.”
“A cold pint of lager would be perfect.”
Arnie watched him walk away, carrying the heavy bucket of change. His back, his calves, his bum—it was some sight.
It’s a dangerous situation, he warned himself. Dominic is Gabriel’s boyfriend. You shouldn’t do this.
There was no harm in it. Two men enjoying a pint together—that was all it was. Dominic was taken and he had every respect for that. They wouldn’t do anything other than talk.
Nothing untoward would happen.
Chapter Nine
Dominic moved quickly, ignoring everyone he knew, as he pushed through the lifeboat station and up the stairs to the crew quarters. A long trestle table had been set up in the rear office, where Jacob and two aides were counting the day’s takings. Jacob’s smile was evidence of how well things had gone. Dominic deposited his bucket with the cluster in the corner that still needed to be counted.
Jacob stacked a neat row of coins and tapped a figure into his calculator.
“Fresh supplies are over there,” he said, nodding at a pile of empty buckets.
“Sorry,” Dominic said. “I’m done for the day.”
“Are things finally dying down out there?”
“No. There’s still plenty of folk about. I’ve got something else to do, that’s all.”
Jacob pushed his reading glasses to the top of his head and his eyes twinkled.
“Oh, yes. What might that be?”
Dominic laughed. The old man’s instincts were razor sharp. “I took your advice,” he said. “Don’t look so smug about it.”
“What advice would that be?” Jacob asked, feigning innocence.
“I’m meeting someone for a drink.” He looked at the other people who were counting money. He didn’t want to be so obvious as to use Arnie’s name in front of them.
Jacob took the hint and grinned. “Then don’t keep him waiting. Go on, get out of here. Have a good night.”
Dominic dropped into the bathroom before leaving, wanting to check his appearance in the mirror. His nose and forehead were a little pink after an afternoon in the fierce sun. He brushed his fingers through his thick hair, smoothing it down, then ran the cold tap to splash water over his face. He instantly felt better.
A shower would be nice, but there was no time. Arnie was waiting right now. He’d have to take him as he was.
Dominic hurried downstairs, unexpectedly anxious. Why would meeting a guy for a drink have this effect on him? He was a grown man—there was nothing to be nervous about. He could take the boat out in the black of night, into a raging storm, and keep his cool. It was stupid to get worked up over a drink.
Then he realized this had never happened before, being nervy about a guy. Other men had excited him, made him horny for sure, but butterflies in his stomach—that was something new.
Why should Arnie be different?
Because he is.
And Dominic was wasting time when he should be in the pub with him.
As he reached the main entrance, he came to a sudden halt. Gabriel was standing right outside. He groaned inwardly and wondered if he could sneak out another way.
Too late.
“Hey.” Gabriel smiled. “I saw you going in and figured you were done for the day. How about coming over for a drink and a bite to eat? You deserve it after a day like this.”
Dominic’s problem with Gabriel was entirely his own fault. It had been obvious for a while that their no-strings arrangement wasn’t as one-sided as it should be, as they’d intended at the start. Gabriel hadn’t said as much, but it was clear he wanted more than Dominic was prepared to give, and rather than put him straight, he’d allowed things to drift as they were, hoping Gabriel would get the hint if he
cooled off toward him.
It was a coward’s solution.
“I’ve got other plans,” he said. “Thanks for the offer. I appreciate it.”
Stop trying to play the nice guy, he warned himself. For fuck’s sake, be a man and get it over with. It’ll be better in the long run.
“How about later?” Gabriel said, stepping closer and lowering his voice. “I should be done by ten thirty. Eleven at the latest. I could drop by your place.”
Tell him. Gabriel wasn’t quick to take a hint.
“No. I don’t think so. Look, I don’t want to be a dick about this, and I know that’s how it’ll sound. When we started, we both agreed that this was nothing more than a casual thing. Sex. That was it.”
Gabriel’s smiled was gone. “I know, but—”
“Let me finish,” Dominic said. “Nothing changed for me. I like you a lot, but it was never more than sex. I get the distinct impression you want more than that. Probably a lot more.”
“No. You’re wrong,” Gabriel protested without conviction. “I’ve never asked for anything from you.”
“Okay. I’ll accept that. Maybe I’m wrong.” A lie. He said it to avoid a scene and hated himself for it. “But we’ve been seeing more of each other than we ever intended, and if we keep that up, then it’s inevitable that deeper feelings will develop.”
“Would that be so terrible?” Gabriel’s voice was full of hurt. His brown eyes glistened.
“That wasn’t the deal,” Dominic said softly. “I don’t want anything more. I think it’s best that we put a stop to all of this. I know it sounds shitty, and I’m sorry. If it’s a relationship you’re looking for, I’m not the man for you.”
“You’re wrong,” Gabriel said, standing taller, raising his chin. “We are good together. You just don’t want to admit it.”
“Don’t do this.”
“Everyone thinks we’re a couple. You realize that, don’t you?”
“Except we’re not.”
“We could be. Everyone says we’re perfect for each other.”
“Who the hell is everyone? Look, Gabriel, I don’t care what people think. It’s gone far enough. I’m sorry it means more to you than me. I never wanted that. And you told me you didn’t either. That’s how this started, remember? Because neither of us wanted more.”
“Is it because of Arnie?”
“What?”
“I saw you talking to him, not more than ten minutes ago. Don’t deny it.”
“I’m not. We were standing right there.”
“Are you dumping me for him?”
Dominic took a deep breath as frustration built inside him. This was not going well. He could have handled it so much better if he’d had the balls to do it earlier. “I’m not dumping you, because we’re not in a relationship. I’m not your boyfriend. I never was.”
“You were just fucking me, is that it?”
“Don’t do this. We were fucking each other. That’s all.”
“So I was sufficient until someone better came along.”
Dominic had had enough. “I never promised you anything. I made my intentions clear and they haven’t changed. If you harboured a hope that it was something meaningful, then I’m sorry. And if you thought I was using you, you could have stopped at any time. I didn’t lead you on, Gabriel. Maybe I let the situation continue for longer than it should have. If I did, I’m sorry. It’s over. You need to understand that. It has nothing to do with Arnie Walker. It’s you and me and no one else.”
“Tell yourself the bullshit,” Gabriel said, backing away. “Believe it all you want, if it makes you feel better, but things were fine between us until this week, and the only thing that changed was you meeting Arnie. You got a hard-on for him and suddenly you couldn’t give a shit about us.”
“There is no us,” he said exasperatedly.
Gabriel was already walking away. “Fuck you, Dominic. You’re just a prick.” He stomped in the direction of the restaurant.
Strangers stared at Dominic. Their argument had drawn attention. God damn it. This was exactly why he avoided relationships. Too much aggravation. Gabriel had been all for their uncomplicated arrangement in the beginning. He’d said he was done with disappointment and being let down. All he’d wanted was sex without the hassle.
Dominic should have known it wouldn’t be easy.
He felt like a bastard too. Gabriel was right about one thing—Arnie. Dominic’s feelings had changed since meeting him. Things with Gabriel had gone stale. They were seeing too much of each other. It had gotten more complicated than he wanted. Meeting Arnie made him see the situation with fresh eyes.
What did he want from Arnie? He didn’t know. Maybe friendship. Maybe nothing. Arnie’s personal circumstances and fame gave him cause to think twice. Celebrity and the attention that came with it was not for him. But he couldn’t stop thinking about him, imagining them together. He was a developing an infatuation, of a kind which he’d never felt for Gabriel.
Why should he feel guilty about that? He was a free agent. He could do anything he wanted.
Right now, he wanted a drink.
The Fisherman’s Arms was a typical old pub. It had one central bar with lots of nooks and annexes shooting off from it. It was very busy when he arrived. They also served food, and it was full of families and couples enjoying an early evening meal after the busy fair.
He found Arnie at a table in the wide bay window, overlooking the marina. He’d taken off his straw hat. After wearing it all afternoon, his thick blond hair was disheveled. It suited him, messing the image of the perfectly groomed actor to present a regular guy.
An exceptionally handsome regular guy.
There were two pint glasses on the table in front of him. Arnie only had a quarter left in his. He looked up as Dominic approached, and smiled.
The smile made Dominic forget about all the shit that had just happened.
“Sorry,” he said, taking the seat opposite Arnie. “That took a little longer than I expected.”
Arnie looked at him warmly. “Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t going anywhere. Sophie sent a text to say she won’t have AJ home until after eight. I intend to enjoy my freedom.” He gestured to the pint of lager in front of Dominic. “It’s lost its head, but if you’re quick, it should still be cold enough.”
Dominic picked up the glass and sipped gratefully. His thirst seemed unquenchable, and he downed a third of the drink straight away. “Oh, wow,” he gasped. “I needed that a lot more than I thought.”
Arnie smiled widely, crinkling his blue eyes. In the natural light of the window, they appeared cobalt. Arnie’s looks were breathtaking. Dominic didn’t know why that fact took him by surprise each time they met—how drop-dead gorgeous Arnie was. And how his heart beat faster when he saw him.
He reached for the pint again and took another long draught.
“So,” he said, pulling it together, “does this place live up to your memories of it?” He raised his eyebrows to indicate the surrounding bar.
Arnie followed his gaze. “Some of the furniture has been reupholstered, and there’s a new carpet in the entrance. Other than that, nothing has changed. I’d have been disappointed if it had.”
“I don’t come in here much,” Dominic said. “I can’t even remember the last time. Maybe last Guy Fawkes Night when we were out collecting.” I’m rambling. He didn’t know what else to say.
“I doubt I’d be bothered with it that much if I lived here. I think I just appreciate it more because I don’t. You miss things like this when you don’t have them. Or maybe I’m getting sentimental in my old age.”
“Hardly. What are you? Thirty?”
“Thirty-four.”
“You don’t look it. Whenever thirty-four is supposed to look like. Age means nothing once you’re over twenty-five. As long as you’ve got good health and the motivation to enjoy it.”
“How old are you? If you have all this wisdom.”
Dominic chu
ckled. “Thirty-seven, just last month.”
“Whatever it is you do, you must tell me your secret.”
“It’s doing what you love and enjoying life. Too many people don’t. Since I came to Nyemouth, all the pieces have fallen perfectly into place.”
Arnie finished his drink. Dominic went to the bar to get another two. He touched his forehead while he waited to be served. The skin was hot. Was he blushing? Arnie certainly had some kind of effect on him. Butterflies were dancing in his stomach.
“I finished your book,” Arnie said when he returned to the table.
“Which one?” he asked, draining his old glass.
“Hard to Kill.”
Arie rested his forearms on the table and leaned forward. Dominic breathed in the smell of him—the scent of his aftershave, the masculine odor of his body. It was heady and intoxicating. He imagined inhaling it fresh off his skin, from the hair on his chest or the intimacy of his groin. Suddenly there was a picture in his mind—Arnie standing above him in a pair of snug white briefs, Dominic pressing his face against the fullness of the cotton.
“That was my first book,” he said, snapping his focus back to the moment.
“It doesn’t read that way,” Arnie said. “It was very accomplished. I’ve always shied away from the action genre. I imagined they’d be too complicated to follow and dense with technology and info dumps. Your book wasn’t like that. Despite everything that was going on, all the characters and double crosses, it was an easy read.”
“Thank you. That’s one of the best things a writer can hear. No one wants to be told they a wrote a difficult read, or that it was a struggle to follow.”
“I’m not just saying it to flatter you. I mean it. My dad has given me another one to read. Die Trying.”
“I believe you,” he said, laughing. “And thank you again. When my next one comes out, I’ll ask you to give a quote for the cover.”
Arnie sipped his beer, licked foam from his top lip then said, “You used a pen name, but the author bio at the back, that sounds true. You were in the Royal Marines and Special Boat Service, right?”
