by Shelly Crane
I felt like everyone was watching me. I’d felt like that all day and was glad I hadn’t just grabbed a hoodie and jeans like I would have any other Saturday.
The little girl who was following me around grabbed my hand before I could reach him. She smiled up at me angelically and swung our arms as we walked.
“I’m Maria.”
“Hi, Maria. I’m Maggie.”
“I know that, silly. Everyone knows who you are.”
“Oh. Well.” I’m sure I grimaced so I thought of something to say. “Where are you sitting?”
“Well, I usually sit next to Uncle Caleb but since you’re here, momma said I have to give up my seat.”
“Oh. You can sit by him. Really, I don’t want to take your seat.”
“It’s ok. Hi, Uncle Caleb!” She ran to him as he got up and hugged him tightly. “I brought Maggie to you.”
“I can see that.” He patted her back and smiled at me. “Thank you.”
“So,” she said more loudly and I was wary of the mischievous grin on her chubby cheeks. “Do you love my Uncle Caleb, Maggie? He’s really nice and he plays sports.”
Everyone looked and I swore my heart stopped. I laughed nervously and tucked my hair behind my ear but Caleb rescued me again.
“Maria, don’t you want Maggie to come back?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s try not to embarrass her, ok?”
“But she’s gonna marry you isn’t she?” she spouted with sudden alarm. “I heard momma say that you were! You can’t get married unless you love each other. Cause then all the babies will be born with no love in them-”
“Maria,” her mother whispered loudly. She covered a laugh in her fist. “Come sit down. I think you’ve scared Maggie enough for one day.”
I felt my cheeks blazing and bit my bottom lip. I wondered if I’d be permanently colored from all this blushing in one day. I looked up at Caleb and he was sighing and shaking his head as everyone chuckled around us.
“I’m so sorry. They’re all crazy. Don’t judge me by them, please,” he joked as he pulled me chair out for me.
The birds were jabbering as we sat under the shade of a huge oak in the backyard. I looked around at his family as they all passed the dishes around, laughing, talking, bickering. It all looked so perfect. I missed it, though I’d never had this before, I missed it something fierce.
“Are you kidding? Your family is so great. I’d give anything to have a big family like this. I mean, you all drove over here to see Kyle graduate, right?” I asked and he nodded.
I smiled remembering Kyle’s cheering and clapping section and his obvious enjoyment of it as his name was called. I’d never know what that felt like.
Caleb leaned in to whisper in my ear.
“Yes you will. They are your family now, too.”
I looked over and his face was so close our noses almost bumped. My heart galloped and I turned back to focus on my garlic bread. I decided I needed to talk to him. Understand him. Know him. I knew he went to Tennessee and was studying to be an architect, other than that, I had no clue.
“So, you live with your family?”
“Yeah. When I’m not at school I stay with my parents about thirty five miles from here. When I’m at school, I have a little apartment there.”
“And, Maria’s mom is your sister?”
“Yep. Jen.”
“What does she do?”
“She works with us.”
“Us?”
He looked at me and warred with whether to tell me or not.
“We all work together. Our great great grandfather started Jacobson Buildings and Things Architecture. It grew and it’s now it’s a pretty big company.”
“So, you all go to school to be architects and go work for the family firm?”
“Pretty much.”
“What if you didn’t want to be an architect?”
“You could be an accountant, lawyer or secretary. Anything you wanted as long as you work for the company. There’s a lot that goes into a big business like that.”
“Ok. So what if you didn’t want to work for them?”
“Uh. I’m not sure. That’s all we’ve ever done. That way we can stay together and, work together. We all have knowledge of how to take care of the family in case something happened to one of us. Everyone’s taken care of. It’s a security thing.”
I nodded.
“So, when do you go back to school?”
“Aug 1st.”
“That’s eight weeks,” I sighed.
“Yep.” He looked at me and rubbed his chin. “I talked to my uncle and he’s agreed, in fact he insisted, I stay here with them until I go back to school. That way I’ll be closer to you.”
“And when you do go back to school?” I asked softly.
He leaned close.
“One thing at a time, Maggie.”
“Yeah. Ok. So, now what?”
“Well, it’s Saturday. I was going to ask if you wanted to do something with me tonight.”
“Yes,” I said a little too quickly and rolled my eyes at myself.
He laughed softly and scooted his hand close to mine on the table, a few of his fingers grazing over my knuckles.
“Great. We can go see your dad if you need to ask him first.”
“Nah,” I mumbled, relishing the way my mind clears of anything negative every time he touched me. “He won’t care.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. You saw him, he’s almost catatonic.”
“He’s been like that since your mom left?” I nodded as I picked at my pasta. “And what about the diner? Are you still gonna work there over the summer?”
“Well, I have to if I want money. My dad sure won’t give me any for anything.”
“So you only work there for extra cash?”
“Basically. School stuff. Clothes. What is it?” I asked at his relieved expression.
“Nothing. That’ll just be one less thing to worry about later,” he said cryptically.
“What do you mean?”
He smiled and bumped my shoulder with his.
“Nothing. Try the pudding. My grandma won county prize three years in a row for it.”
I allowed his subject change but put it away for future reference.
“So where are we going tonight?” I asked as I tasted a bite of pudding and found that yes, it was delicious.
“Mugly’s.”
“Mugly’s?” I said thinking I’d heard him wrong.
“Yep. A little place in my town, if you don’t mind the drive. They have awesome homemade corn nuggets and barbeque.”
“Mmm. I love barbeque,” I crooned.
He laughed around his spoon of pudding at my enthusiasm.
“Well, I’ll file little tidbit away for later use. What else do you love? I’m making a list here.”
It was my turn to laugh.
“Um. Popcorn. Cherries. Coffee. Anything pasta. My all time favorite, honey buns, I eat at least one everyday.”
He smiled, leaning on his elbow watching me like he was thoroughly enjoying himself.
“What else?”
“Concerts.” He made a noise to indicate he did too. “Sci-Fi movies. The beach. The color blue. Convertibles.”
“Really? Convertibles, huh? Well, then you’re in luck.”
“Why? You drive a convertible?”
“I do indeed.”
It hadn’t slipped my mind the cute flirty banter that was flowing easily between us. That every time he smiled at me there were sparks in my veins. That I suddenly realized he was way out of my league and there is no way this guy would have given me the time of day had we not been imprinted.
But I remembered yesterday, when he walked me to Kyle’s, he did seem somewhat interested then. In fact, he seemed outright disappointed when Kyle was ready to go. Hmm.
Then I remember he can read my feelings and peeked at him. He was still watching and shaking his head in amusemen
t. I wrinkled my nose and he laughed.
“You said there was a way to turn that off, right?”
“Yep,” he answered. “It takes practice and concentration.”
“I’ll work on it.”
“Hey,” I heard from behind me. I turned to see Kyle. “You done?”
“Uh,” I looked down at my plate. I’d barely touched any of it. I’d spent most the time talking to Caleb. “Sure, I guess. What’s up?”
“How you holding up?”
“Good. Your family is really nice.”
“I told you they would be. You didn’t have anything to worry about. So, since you’re feeling ok, what are you doing tonight?”
I glanced at Caleb. He was watching Kyle with annoyance.
“Caleb and I are going to dinner.”
He laughed humorlessly.
“Are you? Well at least he’s gonna try to date you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Caleb asked.
“It means this is some fluke. Some joke. She’s nothing like you, she already got rid of one jock in her life and now you think you can just take her out on a date, like everything was normal, and it’s all just gonna be hunky-dory from now on?”
“Kyle. I don’t know what’s wrong with you.” As Caleb spoke I looked around and saw that everyone was watching them with concern. “I’m sorry. I already said that.”
“Oh yeah, you’re real sorry. Strutting around here, in my house, like you’re just king of everything,” Kyle spat and I was shocked by the venom in his voice.
“Kyle. That’s not fair at all. I didn’t choose-”
“But you were still the chosen one weren’t you!” he sneered.
“I can’t change that’s she my significant, no matter what you feel about her. This right here is a prime example why they have the no-dating rule.”
“You hated that stupid rule just as much as me!” he yelled and pointed angrily.
“I know but I didn’t break it,” Caleb countered quietly. “If you’d spent less time trying to get her to go out with you, you wouldn’t feel this way about someone who doesn’t belong to you.”
Kyle paled and then turned beet red.
“That has nothing to do with it, though if I had touched her first instead of you, things would be a little different not wouldn’t they? But she’s my friend.”
“I disagree,” Caleb said steadily.
Kyle’s hand shook with his drink in his grasp at his side. I wondered what was going on. I mean, I knew Kyle had a little crush on me but Caleb knew an awful lot about it. Then Kyle’s dad came forward and put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder.
“Son,” he said softly. “I know this situation isn’t ideal but Caleb’s right on this. What are you doing? Don’t stir trouble where there doesn’t have to be any.”
“I’m not. But, dad, you should have heard the things he used to say. He hated this whole thing. He wanted out.”
“Kyle!” Caleb yelled and stood up.
“He thought the whole significant thing was a joke. He said it was faked or something. He wanted to leave and go to school in Arizona.”
“Kyle, shut up, man! That was before it happened to me, ok! It’s different now. And it’ll be different when it happens to you too.”
“But it’s not gonna happen to me, is it? You’re the special one and I’ll be stuck alone forever. The one girl I thought I’d risk it for.” He stuck one finger in to the air to drive home his point. “The one girl and you stole her right out from under me! Literally!”
This was more uncomfortable than sex talk with Granny. I just wanted to crawl under the table. And the following silence after his statement was deafening. They were in front of me but I could slip behind Caleb to the house. Get a refill or something. So I did. But Maria caught me.
“Where are you going, Maggie?”
I turned to look at them over my shoulder, completely embarrassed and uncomfortable. I started to walk again, shifting my gaze to the ground.
“Maggie. I’m sorry,” Kyle blurted loudly while Kyle’s dad said, at the same time, “Let her go, Kyle.” While Caleb said, “Maggie.”
“Um. I think I’ll just go home but, thanks for lunch. I really enjoyed it. I want to change before tonight.” I looked at Caleb. “I mean, if you still want to go.”
“Of course I do.” He sighed and came to stand in front of me. “I’m sorry about this,” he mostly whispered.
“It’s ok.” I needed to flee the eyes. “Can we talk, later?”
“Do you want me to walk you?”
“No, I’m fine. Really.”
“Can you even leave?” Kyle said condescendingly. “I mean it’s only day two. Last night you were on the edge the whole time. Go ahead. Try to just walk out of here without his help.”
I already felt and knew it. That what he was saying was true. The minute I told Caleb no about walking me home, my body clenched with the knowledge that I’d leave him here.
“Shut up, Kyle! You claim to be her friend so stop it already. You think you’re helping right now?”
Caleb took my arm gently and pulled me with him to the back gate. I looked back and saw Kyle and his father in a heated discussion. Gran, Rachel and Jen were looking at me with nothing but sympathy. They’d been through this. They knew what it was like. And I was already hurting.
“I’m so sorry, Maggie. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“It’s ok.”
“No, it’s not.” He spoke gently and my head started to hurt, the pounding behind my eyes suddenly almost unbearable. My eyes closed and pinched. He sighed and framed my face with his hands and I instantly felt better and opened my eyes to look up at him. “It’s so much worse when you’re upset.”
“I’ll live. I just didn’t want to be in the middle of all...that, ya know?”
“Yeah. Me neither,” he said dryly. “Are you ok, now?”
“Yeah. So, Arizona? Is that true?” I asked still looking up at him.
“Yes.” His thumbs moved across my cheeks causing my eyelids to flutter with pleasure. “And I never would have said a word to him if I’d known he’d tell everyone. This’ll stir up crap, for sure.”
“So,” I said thoughtfully. “We got Arizona and some sport you love to play that I have yet to learn what it is. What else?”
“What?”
“I’m making a list.”
He laughed softly.
“I’ll give you the full list tonight, which I can’t wait for, by the way.”
I nodded.
“Ok. I guess I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
“I’ll pick you up at five thirty.”
“In your convertible,” I teased.
“Absolutely,” he said grinning.
“Ok.”
I wanted to move. I wanted to. He knew what I needed.
“I want you to go home and wait for me. It’ll be better this way, now you can see your dad for a little bit before we leave. Everything will be fine,” he crooned soothingly. “And I’ll see you very soon.”
“Ok.”
I started to pull away but he pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. I looked up and smiled at him before pressing through the big wooden gate, not looking back at his multitude of family watching our every move.
Seven
I walked home slowly. I felt the pull to go back to Kyle’s house. It didn’t seem quite as bad since I understood what was happening this time.
Kyle only lived six blocks away. I paused at the red light and remembered the last time I was here, on the other side; watching a dark haired boy bob his head to his music. So normal, so human, I thought about how wrong I had been.
The light turned red and I looked before making my way across. As soon as I turned the corner I saw her breeze. Her scowl was firmly in place as I made my way down my walkway.
Rebecca.
“So. You’ve completely just cut me out. Is that it?”
“What? No. Look, I know seeing me wi
th Kyle last night looked bad. But we aren’t dating, far from it. I didn’t leave you out of the loop. I promise.”
“It certainly looked like there was a loop. And that I was out of it.”
“Nope. No loop. Nada. Kyle is just a friend. He was...helping me with something last night, that’s all.”
“You know it’s been a week and half since I’ve even talked to you. You haven’t returned any of my text or voicemails. Even at the diner.”
“Beck. I’m sorry. Ok? I’ve been having a hard time lately. I just didn’t want to drag you down with me.”
She stood up off the steps and came to stand in front of me.
“Mags. You know better than that. I’m a glutton for drama and baggage. You know this,” she joked but stepped forward a little and looked at me seriously. “You could have talked to me.”
“I just didn’t want to talk about it. I don’t wanna think about.”
“Look. You’re mom is a skeez for leaving but your dad has no right to treat you like this just because he’s angry or depressed or whatever. He needs to chill and take a Prozac. He’s still your dad. He still has responsibilities.”
“I know but he apparently doesn’t, or doesn’t care.”
“So you thought Kyle- class clown Kyle- could help you with your problems and not me?”
She looked so hurt and bothered, I felt terrible. I have ignored her and purposely avoided her and there really was no good reason for it.
“I’m sorry. Really.” I grabbed her purple nail polished hand and squeezed. “You’re right. I’ve been avoiding you. I’ve been avoiding everyone and everything. I completely screwed myself this year and I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t want you to see me like that. I was almost as bad as my dad.”
“That’s impossible. Your dad’s practically catatonic,” she scoffed.
“That’s what I said.” I grinned at her. “I love you, Becky Wecky.”
“Ahh. You haven’t called me that since second grade.” She smiled widely and it felt so good to see. I missed her. “I love you too, Maggie waggie.”
She grabbed me in a hug and squeezed me. Then she grabbed my hand and started to tow me down to the sidewalk.
