by Rona Halsall
She picked up her patient list and hurried out of the office.
Over the next week, Mia had two more sickness episodes. Two trips to the doctor, with no conclusive results – the blood tests had come back normal and the stool samples were still being processed. It was frustrating, but there was nothing Becca could do. She could feel her stress levels ramping up, a constant headache throbbing at her temples and behind her eyes, as her concerns about her daughter’s welfare blotted out everything else.
The third time it happened, Dean was away again, and Becca was so tired and anxious, she took Mia straight to the A & E department at the main hospital, which was half an hour from where they lived.
Typically, by the time she arrived, the worst was over, and Mia was quite chirpy about being somewhere new and interesting. Thankfully, Becca had brought a stool sample with her for testing, and she handed it over to the triage nurse, who sent them back to the waiting room until it was their turn. Eventually, she talked to a doctor, a bald-headed oblong of a man, who listened patiently while she laid out everything that had been happening over the last couple of weeks.
‘Please could you do some blood tests?’ she asked.
The doctor frowned. ‘I noticed on her record that she’s just this week had blood tests, and everything was normal.’
Becca suppressed a frustrated sigh, fed up with being told everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t. She could feel her eyes stinging, a rising swell of emotion filling her chest and thickening her voice. ‘The thing is… well, I’m worried that she’s either got some serious illness or is being poisoned.’
The doctor snapped to attention. ‘Poisoned? By what?’
Becca sighed. ‘That’s the thing – I don’t know but perhaps a blood test would give us a clue?’
The doctor gave her a kind smile. ‘I know this sort of thing is very distressing, but the tests we’ve already run were very thorough, and I really think we’ve covered all the possibilities. She seems fine, doesn’t she?’
Becca heard Mia giggling as a nurse pretended to be surprised to find her where she was hiding behind a curtain.
‘I know she’s okay now,’ Becca snapped. ‘But you didn’t see her three hours ago, puking her guts up with a nappy full of liquid shit.’
The doctor’s smile stayed in place, although a muscle twitched at the corner of his eye. ‘I think we’ve done what we can for the moment. I’ve given her a thorough check over. Children pick up all sorts of bugs. It’s actually good for them. Strengthens the immune system.’
‘I’m a district nurse,’ she said, curtly. ‘I’m aware of what’s normal and this definitely isn’t. What if there’s an underlying condition that’s causing this? Something serious. Life-threatening even?’
‘And what sort of condition do you have in mind?’ He cocked his head, eyes studying her face, which was now burning.
She gritted her teeth. ‘I don’t have anything in mind. I just want you take me seriously.’
The smile slipped off his face. ‘I can assure you that I am taking your concerns seriously.’ His voice was calm and measured. ‘I’ve made a note of everything you’ve told me. We’ve sent the stool sample for testing, but it can take a while for results to come through, sometimes a couple of weeks, depending on the particular test, as I’m sure you’re aware. In the meantime, I’m not going to cause this child distress by taking more blood samples when they’ve so recently been done.’ He glanced over at Mia, who was now pretending to be a lion. ‘I honestly don’t think there’s anything to worry about.’
By the expression on the doctor’s face, Becca knew that was the end of the conversation. She called Mia and they left. What did she have to do to get them to listen? I’ll have to take her earlier, she decided. When she’s covered in sick and shit, let them see for themselves what’s happening.
A few days later, at half past eight in the evening, when Dean was at an event at the local golf club, it happened again. She wasn’t going to wait this time. She rang Dean, who said he was just wrapping things up and promised to meet her at the hospital as soon as he could.
An hour later, when Mia had been cleaned up and calmed down and fresh samples taken, Becca once again told her story and voiced her suspicions to a different doctor. This one was younger, with a wonderfully sympathetic manner that left her feeling she might have struck lucky.
‘All the tests show everything is functioning normally, so I’m not worried about underlying conditions. Hopefully, that will put your mind at rest?’ He cleared his throat. ‘I am concerned that she’s repeatedly presenting with the same symptoms, though, because it must be distressing for both you and your daughter.’
‘It is.’ Becca nodded emphatically. ‘I just don’t know what to do next. You’re positive there’s no other tests you can do? What about a scan?’
‘We’re still waiting for some of the stool sample tests to come back, but initial results show nothing abnormal.’ He sat back in his chair. ‘My best guess is that she’s eating something she shouldn’t be eating. Or it’s an allergic reaction. So my suggestion is that you keep a food diary. Check at home and speak to anyone she’s been in contact with to see if they’ve given her something that might be disagreeing with her.’
Becca sighed, too exhausted to say that she’d done all that.
‘Let’s hope this is the last of it,’ the doctor said, his eyes meeting hers. ‘I’ll make you an appointment with paediatrics when the final tests are through. But from what I can see, and from the notes colleagues have made previously, your daughter is generally a happy, healthy three-year-old.’ The doctor stood, the conversation obviously over in his mind.
‘She’s being poisoned, I’m sure of it.’ Becca was determined that she wasn’t going home until she got to the bottom of the situation. She was thoroughly frustrated by voicing her concerns to people who weren’t prepared to accept her conclusion – it was time to be more forceful. She was desperate for Dean to arrive and lend his support, another voice to echo hers. What’s taking him so long?
The doctor sat back down, his face clouded with concern. ‘I understand you’ve made this allegation before.’
‘Yes,’ she snapped, ‘and nobody is taking me seriously.’
‘Do you have a suspicion as to who it is?’ He was staring at her intently now.
Becca chewed her lip, startled that the doctor was finally taking an interest in her theory. ‘No…’ She stopped and considered his question for a moment. In all truth, the only people who had access to Mia were members of her family. And Ruth. Was she really accusing one of her nearest and dearest of deliberately doing this to Mia? It was a shocking thing to have to consider. She rubbed her clammy palms on her trousers, unable to reply, not ready to voice names.
‘If you honestly think someone is harming your daughter, then I think it’s a matter for the police.’
Becca blanched.
His eyes searched her face as he waited for her to say something.
She hadn’t thought through the consequences, her mind fixed on getting a definitive answer about Mia’s illness. A clear diagnosis being her only focus. But now… she hadn’t got as far as what next. Her heart skipped. The police?
The doctor must have caught her shocked expression and his mouth tightened, eyes boring into Becca’s as if trying to read her mind. His countenance had changed from reassuring to assessing, and Becca squirmed in her seat, suddenly feeling far too hot.
‘If someone is deliberately poisoning your child, that’s classed as child abuse. They must be identified and stopped.’ A nurse popped her head into the cubicle and the doctor glanced at her before standing. ‘I wonder if you’d mind taking a seat in the waiting room. I’m just going to talk to a colleague for a second opinion. I’ll come and get you when we’re ready.’
Becca looked around. ‘Leave Mia?’
The doctor nodded. ‘Just for a few minutes. It’s okay, your husband just arrived, so she’s not on her own.’
&n
bsp; Becca hesitated, then stood, walking through to the waiting room with fear in her heart. A second opinion. Was that a good or a bad thing?
22
‘Becca.’ She turned at her name and saw Dean walking towards her, Mia holding his hand. His face was grim. ‘They want to have a chat with you.’ He nodded his head towards a doctor and nurse, who stood by the door of a little meeting room that opened off the waiting area.
‘Is everything okay? Do they know what’s wrong with her?’
A third person came bustling through the double doors. A woman with a stethoscope round her neck, but not in the white coat used by the A & E doctors. A consultant, Becca thought, her heart leaping up and down now, hands clammy.
Dean sat down and pulled Mia on to his knee. The three people were standing by the open door of the room, obviously waiting for her.
‘Aren’t you coming in?’ Becca asked him.
He shook his head, an odd expression on his face that she couldn’t quite interpret. ‘It’s just you they want to talk to.’
Mia snuggled into his chest, clearly exhausted.
Three of them? Oh God, no, this is serious.
She took a deep breath and steeled herself for bad news. I’m a nurse. I’ve heard bad news before. I can handle this. Giving them a tight smile, she walked into the meeting room and sat in the chair they indicated. Waited while they introduced themselves, not really hearing anything as her pulse whooshed in her ears.
Silence.
‘Have you found out what’s wrong with my daughter?’
They glanced at each other and the woman with the stethoscope nodded. ‘Yes, we think we have.’
Becca waited.
‘We think someone has been deliberately poisoning her.’
Becca swallowed. Her skin prickled as she took in the stern faces, three pairs of eyes fixed on her.
Do they think it’s me?
She shook the ridiculous, paranoid thought from her head.
‘I knew it.’ Becca felt validated, a release of tension allowing a relieved smile. ‘I’m a district nurse, you see. So, I’ve worked through all the possibilities myself, and poison was the only one that made any sense.’
‘We have no answer as to what the poison is unfortunately,’ said Dr Baddiel, the on-call paediatric consultant. ‘Do you have any ideas?’
Becca gave a frustrated sigh. ‘I’m completely stumped, to be honest. I’ve been wracking my brains to try and get to the bottom of it.’
Silence again. Three pairs of eyes staring at her. Becca’s hands found each other in her lap, sweat sticking her shirt to her back.
‘The question is… why would someone want to poison a three-year-old child?’ Dr Baddiel asked.
Becca nodded. ‘That’s the same question I’d like answering too.’
Dr Baddiel frowned. ‘It’s quite a dramatic accusation, don’t you think? That someone is poisoning your daughter?’
A sneaking suspicion that things were veering on to a familiar path slithered into her head, but before she had time to consider it further, the A & E doctor spoke.
‘Mrs Thornton, I have to tell you that we have concerns about the welfare of your child. She has now had eight poisoning episodes, and we have to take that extremely seriously.’
Becca was about to speak and say she’d been trying to get people to take her concerns seriously for the last couple of weeks when the door opened and Dean walked in, carrying the overnight bag he kept in his car.
‘Ah, Mr Thornton, thank you for joining us,’ Dr Baddiel said. ‘Please do sit down.’
Dean looked haggard, and he pulled out the chair next to Becca. She flicked him a grateful glance, glad that he’d been allowed in to support her. He ignored her, though, focusing instead on the doctors in front of him. ‘I came back as quickly as I could.’
Becca frowned. ‘Came back? You were just outside.’
Dr Baddiel spoke. ‘We’re keeping Mia in for observation, and your husband will be staying on the ward with her overnight, so he had to go and grab a few things.’
‘Where is she?’ Becca’s frown deepened. ‘I’ll stay with her. Dean’s got work tomorrow, haven’t you?’
‘She’s in the playroom on the paediatric ward, with a nurse.’ Dr Baddiel smiled at Dean, something she hadn’t done to Becca. ‘She’ll be very glad to see you.’ The consultant looked at Becca then. ‘We wanted to talk to both of you together so you understand the situation and what will happen next.’
‘What do you mean?’ Becca could feel the weight of her fear, like a boulder in the pit of her stomach. Something strange was going on, something she knew nothing about, and she didn’t like it at all. She glanced at Dean, who was rubbing a hand over his face; a sure sign that he was stressed.
‘We have child safeguarding concerns,’ Dr Baddiel said, making Becca’s head snap round, her mouth gaping. ‘Given the number of times your daughter has presented with the same undiagnosed symptoms, I’m afraid we’ve had to initiate our safeguarding procedures. Social services have been contacted and we’re in the process of gathering up all the information and talking to any health professionals who have been involved in this case to date.’
Becca gasped. ‘Hold on a minute. What do you mean, child safeguarding?’
The A & E doctor wouldn’t meet her eye, but Dr Baddiel had no such qualms. ‘We have to initiate an investigation. And while that is underway, we feel it would be better if your daughter was cared for by your husband.’
‘What? But he can’t look after her. He’s got work. I’m her main care-giver.’
Dr Baddiel nodded. ‘And that’s exactly why we can’t allow her back into your care until the investigation is complete.’ She sighed. ‘I’m sorry, but given the information we have available to us, we have to consider the possibility that you are harming your daughter, Mrs Thornton. Whether intentionally or by neglect. And we need to understand exactly what is happening before we can let her back into your care.’
Her voice made it sound like it was a perfectly reasonable course of action.
Becca’s heart jumped as if she’d had an electric shock. ‘No, you can’t do that.’ She grabbed her husband’s arm. ‘Dean, tell them how worried I’ve been. Tell them.’
‘I’m sorry, Becca. I think it might be for the best. Just until we get to the bottom of things.’ He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘Perhaps it’ll be good for you to have a break. You’ve had a lot on your plate while I’ve been working away. Think of it like a holiday.’
‘What do you mean, a holiday? How can it be a holiday if my only child is in hospital?’
‘We’re only keeping her in overnight,’ Dr Baddiel said.
Dean shifted in his chair. ‘She can come home then, can’t she? If it was me looking after her. That’s what you said, wasn’t it?’
Dr Baddiel shook her head. ‘Not quite. I’m afraid Mrs Thornton would need to leave the family home for that to be a viable option.’
Becca gulped, unable to believe what she was hearing.
‘Just until the investigations are completed,’ the A & E doctor said, obviously uncomfortable with the whole proceedings. Becca noticed now how young he looked and wondered if this was the first time he’d been in this sort of meeting. He’s the one who flagged it, she reminded herself and glowered at him.
‘You can’t do this!’ She turned to Dean. ‘Tell them, I’m the one who’s been trying to get a doctor to listen to me. Why would I do that if I was harming her?’
Becca swallowed back her angry words, aware that she was sounding as frantic as she felt. The implications revealed themselves in her mind, like the unveiling of a statue. The doctors would have checked her medical records. Would have seen the tentative suggestions over ten years ago that she could be suffering from factitious disorder. She knew exactly what they were insinuating – that she was harming Mia so she would get attention. They hadn’t said it, but she was pretty sure that’s where all this was going. Even though she had been v
indicated all those years ago, that would still be there as a question mark in relation to her mental health. Then there’d been the breakdown. Followed by depression over more recent years when she’d had the miscarriages. When you gathered it all together, it didn’t present a comforting picture. But it was the opposite of the truth and she had no patience with their theorising.
‘This is ridiculous,’ she said, getting up. ‘I’m going to get my daughter and I’m going home. The social worker can visit us there.’
Dean put a hand on her arm. ‘I really think it might be best if we play this by the book. Then it’ll get sorted out quicker.’
She glared at him, dumbfounded. ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’ Her voice was a desperate squeak. ‘You think they’re right?’
‘Sweetheart, I know this is tough, but you have been pretty stressed recently.’ His voice was full of forced patience, his eyes darting over her face as if he was searching for the bit that had ‘unstable’ written on it. ‘Your moods have been unpredictable, you know, and I do feel your judgement has been a bit off-kilter with some of the things that have been happening.’
Her mouth fell open. ‘What things?’
‘Well, you’ve managed to fall out with the childminder, haven’t you, by accusing her of poisoning Mia? Even though she’s inspected by Ofsted, has all the correct procedures in place and is the most sought after in the area. Then there was the conversation we had about what happened before you went to Australia. Things you’d never told me.’
Becca pulled her arm from his grasp, appalled that he’d brought that up, reinforcing the idea that those false accusations might have had some substance. She’d buried the whole traumatic experience in the past, had told him in confidence, and now he’d mentioned it. If they hadn’t already done so, the authorities would definitely be digging it all up again. She unclenched her jaw, her eyes pleading with the doctors as she spoke. ‘I was cleared of any wrongdoing.’ Her fists clenched. ‘You can’t do this.’
