by Nyrae Dawn
"No, no," Mom says to Sara. At the same time, I reach over the counter.
"Just because I'm allowed to pull your hair, Twig, doesn't mean you can touch other people's hair without their permission."
"I don't mind." Kira turns to Sara. "I had red in it last time. What do you think I should do next? Too boring to keep the same style for very long."
Yeah. Yesterday she looked like she belonged in the 60's in a rainbow bus and with a name like Springwater, and today she's wearing a school girl outfit. Not that I noticed or anything.
"Orange!" Sara claps, jumping up and down. She's so happy I have to look around to make sure there's not a purple dinosaur here.
"Orange?" I ask. Orange hair doesn't sound very appealing.
"What's wrong with orange?" Kira counters.
Oh, she wants to play this game, does she? I'm in. "Nothing. But why stop with mixing in? I'm thinking you should go all orange. That would be pretty, wouldn't it, Sara?"
Sara nods so hard I'm worried her head might fall off.
Kira doesn't flinch. "Orange it is."
The bell over the door rings. Mom slips around the counter. "I'm so glad your mom came today. I'm excited to have you on board, Kira. We'll see you soon."
Mom walks over to help the customer and Kira with her purple hair and school girl skirt is right behind her. "Catch ya later, Sleepy," she tosses over her shoulder and just like last time, she's gone, leaving me with the want to catch up with her.
***
"No! Mommy, Carter! Help!"
I'm already scrambling out of my bed, tripping over a shoe in the dark before Sara can yell again. I tear my door open and jog down the hall to her room. Mom's already there, rushing to Sara's side.
"Mommy! Carter!" she yells again. I get a twinge in my chest, dropping to the floor by her bed. Mom has Sara pulled into her lap, shushing her, but I can't help but touch her hair too, just so she knows I'm here. Even if she had her glasses on, her eyes are full of too many tears for her to see.
"Hey, Twig. Shh, it's okay. I'm here."
Sara's had bad nightmares like this her whole life. We're not sure why. They take a lot out of her. She wakes up scared something's after her...or something's after me, and it always takes half the night for us to calm her down.
"Closet." She grabs Mom's neck tighter.
"There's nothing in there, Twig. You're my little sister; no one will mess with you because they know I have your back." Still, I get up to investigate the closet. Sara gets a little smile on her face, but has her death grip on Mom, who reaches for Sara's glasses and puts them on her.
"Here, I better grab this just in case." I grab a purple blow-up bat, holding it in one hand like it's a weapon, and then pulling the closet door open with the other. "See? Nothing there."
"In the back."
With my air-bat at arm's-length like I'm scared to get too close, I push the clothes around. "Nope...nothing there."
"Just a bad dream, baby girl," Mom whispers against Sara's forehead.
She makes me look under the bed and behind the curtains just in case. Once my hunt for bad guys is over, Mom says, "It's late, Carter. Why don't you go to bed? Sara, you want to sleep in Mommy's room with me?"
Bed sounds better than anything right now.
"No, no, no. Carter, Carter!" Sara says. I try not to groan because I really need a good night of sleep after the couple days I've had.
"You want me to sleep with you, Twig?"
I get one of her big, head-fall-off-her-shoulders nods.
Her bed is a twin and it really sucks to try to share a twin bed with a little sister. "Scoot your butt over."
Mom looks up at me. "You can go to bed, Carter. We'll be okay."
I shake my head. Mom gets up, bringing Sara to the bathroom while I crawl into her bed and pull a Barney blanket over myself. After they're done, Mom tucks her into bed with me. "Straight to sleep, you two. There's school tomorrow." Sounds good to me.
We're quiet for a few minutes and I hope this will be a rare night Sara falls asleep quickly. My eyes won't close though. I keep them on the door, seeing Mom in here with her. This is why Mom would never drink when Sara's home. She'll always be ready to take care of my little sister whenever she needs it, which is what really matters to me.
"Story," Sara whispers.
"Can't sleep?"
Her head shakes against my shoulder. Another groan tries to crawl up my throat, but I push it down. I grab a few books out of the basket by her bed, along with the flashlight she keeps on her table. There's a nightlight, too, but it's not bright enough for me to read. "Don't tell Mom or we'll get in trouble." Which is a lie since Mom keeps a monitor in here, so I know she'll hear us anyway. Sara tries to reply, but it's one of her too-happy-to-speak-mumbles.
And, of course, it's a Barney book, but I don't care. I read her six of them until she finally falls asleep.
***
"Do you have plans after practice today?" Mom asks as I shovel a bite of Cookie Crunch into my mouth. Whoever the genius is who thought of turning chocolate chip cookies into cereal is my hero.
"I don't think so. What's up?"
"I have to go see your grandfather tonight. I didn't plan on it, but one of the nurses called me. She wants me to come in and talk to her."
Heat rolls over me. "Verbally abusing someone else, I'm sure. He doesn't deserve any favors from you, Mom." How much does she think she can put on her shoulders? She's got enough to worry about without having to deal with the abusive asshole that made her childhood hell.
"He’s old and he's lonely. He misses Mom. He doesn't mean what he says."
"His whole life? And if he cares enough to miss her, maybe he should have treated her better. What was his excuse when—"
"Carter!" She holds up a hand, her voice shaking. "I don't have time for this. He's my dad. It's my responsibility to take care of him. I'm going to need your help because I don't want to leave Kira alone at the shop when she's still learning the ropes. I thought maybe you could go help her if she needs it."
It takes a couple minutes for me to calm down enough to think. Ignoring the fact that I really wish she'd tell the asshole adios, my mind goes to what she asked. This sounds like a terrible idea. Not that I don't want to go—actually it's that I do that makes me know I shouldn't. First, Mel gets all grumpy when it comes to other girls and we've been fighting enough lately. Second, well, I kind of want to see this girl and I'm thinking a guy shouldn't want to see another girl this much when he has a girlfriend. I have enough drama in my life already.
"I don't know... I should probably do some homework." Actually, what I should do is take the probably out of that sentence because there's no question—I need to do some homework. A lot of it. And I'm going to make myself this time, no matter what.
"You can do it at the store. You've done it before. She might not even need you, but I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone on her first day."
Ugh. I'm not feeling this, but it's not like I'd ever tell her no. "Fine. Whatever. But if I flunk out of high school, it's your fault."
Mom stills. "You're not really failing any of your classes, are you, Carter?"
Yes. "I'm not gonna fail anything." I've pulled my grades up before; I can do it again.
"You better not." She kisses my forehead. "Thanks, kid. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're growing up way too fast." She looks at me, a little sad for a second, and then pulls away to call for my sister. "Sara! Come on, sweet pea. We need to get you to school." And then to me. "See you around six. I love you."
"Later, Ma." Her words stick with me. She's right. This is my last year at home. I don't know why I've never really thought about it before. What's she going to do when I'm gone? What's Sara going to do?
Trying to ignore those thoughts, I toss my bowl in the sink. Five minutes
behind them, I'm out the door and on my way to school, too. Wondering how I'm going to get my work done, help Kira, and keep my relationship in one piece.
***
"Dude, why can't basketball last for six hours and school for one and a half?" Travis collapses next to me in the grass. He has a bag of chips in his hand and that's all there is to his lunch.
"I'd be game with that." I grab a handful of chips out of his bag.
"I swear, all you guys care about is basketball." Mel rolls her eyes and Trina agrees with her.
"Seriously. There's more to life than ball. It's ridiculous."
"Hey, I care about other stuff. Food, TV—ouch." Laughing, I try to dodge Mel's punch. "I'm kidding. I care about you, too. You're right behind food, and TV—ouch." She pinches me this time, but she's smiling.
"Not me, Trin. You're above TV for me," Travis adds. Lucky for him, his girlfriend only shakes her head rather than assaulting him.
"Whatever." Crossing her arms, Mel turns her back to me.
"I'm kidding." I wrap my arms around her and pull her to my lap. "You're way better than that stuff." I nuzzle her. "Hey...want to come to the shop with me after practice? Mom wants me to help out the new girl she hired."
I'm iffy on whether or not this is a good idea. Mel and Kira don't seem like the type that will get along, but I'm hoping it will cut down the chance of anymore drama in my life. Carter and drama don't mix.
" You have to go in? Everyone's getting together tonight!" She pulls away and sits up. "Can't you tell her you have plans?"
My tongue hurts from how hard I have to bite down on it not to snap at her. "Mel, if she asks me to go, it's because she needs my help. I can't just tell her no."
"Whatever. You only want to see me when it fits your schedule. That's not fair, Carter."
Open mouth. Withdraw tongue from between teeth. "I'm pretty sure I said Mom needs my help. I didn't purposely make plans without you. Actually, I'm pretty sure I invited you. Just like I tried to see you last night." Why does she have to be like this? My life is a whole lot different than Mel's and she knows that. My Mom doesn't make a million dollars a year. I have obligations. Responsibilities. She's always been bitchy about it because she just doesn't get it, but this is too much. I try to understand that it's not the kind of life she leads. Why can't she do the same?
"You're coming with us tonight, aren't you, Trav?" Trina asks. He looks at me, back at her, then me again. I nod my head to let him know he doesn't have to have my back this time.
Kira says from beside us, "Carter?"
How long has she been standing there? My pulse kicks up and I'm not sure if it's because I'm grateful for interruption, or if I fear an atomic bomb might go off now. I almost want to walk away from them all right now. Mel, Trina, Kira, even Travis, just so I can breathe.
"Hey, Kira." Shielding the sun from my eyes, I look up at her. "What's up?"
"Does Sara spell her name with an 'h' at the end?"
Huh? Why would she want to know that? "Why?"
Mel clears her throat.
"I'm making something for her and I want to make sure I spell it right." She crosses her arms and looks down on me like it should be obvious or something. I toss a glance at Mel, who is scowling. Travis has a smirk on his face. Whatever. This is about my sister.
"What are you making her?" Now my pulse is going wild. No matter what it is, Sara will freak. She loves getting surprises. She'll really think it's cool, getting something from one of my friends. Whoa. Friend? Yeah, I might have just met her, but I consider her a friend.
Kira shrugs. "It's a secret. Girl thing. Yay or nay on the 'h'?"
It takes me a minute to reply. Who is this girl? She's known my sister for five seconds and she made her something? It's cool. It's no 'h'. You know she'll show me, though. Twig wouldn't keep a secret from me." So there.
Kira gives me another shrug. "We'll see. Us girls have to stick together, you know. Thanks." She turns to leave, but Mel's voice stops her.
"You're in my history class, right? I'm Melanie. Carter's girlfriend."
Kira holds out her hand and Mel shakes it loosely. "Kira. I work for Carter's mom. You guys are cute." She points back and forth between us. "You look cute together."
This is awkward as hell. Plus, what's that? I work for Carter's mom? She knew me first.
"Thanks." Mel grabs my hand. Five minutes ago she was pulling away from me, and now she's getting all possessive.
When Mel doesn't say anything else, Kira smiles like she realizes she's being dismissed and walks away. Today she's wearing a tank top with a sweater over it and a pair of tight blue jeans. It's the kind of outfit Mel would wear, except probably doesn't come from the same stores.
"She's the girl you're going to be with tonight?" Mel's voice is harsh which, honestly, kind of pisses me off.
"Yeah? So?"
"Why did your mom suddenly decide to hire someone?"
"Because she needs the help? Should I have had her ask your permission before she hired someone? You were the one who wanted me to spend less time at the shop, so isn't this a good thing?" I'm starting to sweat a little, tired of going rounds with her.
"Whatever, Carter. It just would have been nice if you told me."
"Umm, told you what?" I'm thinking it would have been nice if she told me she was a nutcase.
"That you were going to be with someone hot and not someone old, which is what I assumed."
Ah, so that's what this is about. Mel always gets harsher when she's jealous, which I used to kind of like...but now? Not so much.
Willing to do anything to end this conversation and have five freaking minutes of peace, I don't say what I'm really thinking. What comes out instead is, "You're hot, Mel. Come on. She works for my mom. It's not a big deal. I invited you to come. It's not like I'm trying to hide anything."
Her frown flips up into a smile. "Thanks, baby."
Crisis averted! Even more so when the bell rings. We say our goodbyes, Trina and Mel going one way, and Travis and I another. Once they're out of ear shot, I groan. What the hell has happened to my life lately? My calm place has suddenly grown two heads and an extra set of claws and I'm not in the mood to deal with it.
"Why is she freaking out? Next time I say we get pissed when they go to Sam's. She has a brother. Same thing. " Travis shrugs when he says this, but I stop walking.
"They went to Sam's last night?" Devin's sister? She ditched me to go to Devin's house?
"Umm, yeah. Is that bad?"
My heart pounds, muscles tightening. She was flirting with him, went to his house without telling me, and then she freaks out because Mom hired Kira?
"Nothing. I just..." Is she cheating on me? Does she like him? Am I freaking out over nothing? Wait. Do I care? I don't know. I should know that much, right?
"I'm thinking of breaking up with Trina." Travis starts walking again. His words make me forget everything else. It's always been the four of us. We hang out and have fun together. "What? Why?"
He looks at me like it's the stupidest question in the world. "Have you been paying attention? It's just not the same. Plus, it happens, ya know? You think people are going to stay together forever, but they don't. Why prolong it?"
Travis's voice sounds strange. And I don't know about the forever part, but I at least figured we'd stay together through high school. "Huh? You've never said that before."
"It's just... My..." He shakes his head like he just changed his mind about something. "This is our last year in high school. Do we really want to spend it getting bitched at for everything? I mean, it'd be different if I, like...but it's not like that. I just want to have fun, ya know?"
I have no idea what he's not telling me, but I totally get what he is saying. It's not like I thought we'd be one of those go-off-to-college-together couples. Or that we'd get married one
day. Have the 2.2 kids or however the saying goes. Don't ask me how you can have .2 kids, but whatever.
Still, we have fun. At least, we used to. When I pictured my senior year, I pictured the four of us. We've been a constant for a year now.
"I'm not saying you should do the same," he says. "But I just wanted you to know. Didn't want it to come out of nowhere."
This shouldn't come from nowhere, because we've both been fighting with the girls a lot recently, but it does. It does because as weak as it makes me sound, even though I'm jealous as hell he's going to do this, I don't know if I can do the same. Mel will freak and as hard as she is to handle lately, I can only imagine how much hell it would be to deal with a broken-up-with Melanie. All I want is one piece of my life that has no drama and I can’t even get that.
Before I can reply, the second bell rings, making us late for English. We make a run for it, my mind tangled with thoughts of Mel, Mom, English, and Kira.
Chapter Five
Practice is ruined by Mrs. Z's voice in my head; every play I want to call out is overpowered by her lecture because I didn't turn in anymore late assignments. Unfortunately, she's not the only person copping a squat in my head. I have Mom on one shoulder, needing my help at the store. Getting upset when I question her about her douchebag dad. Even if she weren't whispering in my ear, I'd be worried about her. It's never a good day when she has to go see him, but knowing Sara will be home takes some of the worry away.
The crappy part is, it doesn't stop there. Mel's sitting on the other shoulder, alternating between being the calm Mel who helps make me forget, and then images of her with Devin keep popping up behind my eyes. The fact is, I realize I'd be pissed, but I wouldn't be hurt. I'd almost be relieved. It'd be one less direction to be pulled. One less person who wants something out of me.
Right now, I could do with a little less "Carter, I need you to" and a little more, "Carter, do what you need to do." Hell, maybe even a little, "Carter, do you need help?"
By the time I rush to the shop after practice, I'm in an even worse mood. Yanking my backpack out of the truck, I slam the door and head inside. There are a couple customers, but Mom's still here so I sit at the little round table by the front counter, where Sara does her coloring and Mom eats her meals. It's kind of hidden because it's shorter than the counter the register sits on and it's on the opposite side as the door.
