by Jenn LeBlanc
Louisa tweaked one of the marble man’s toes, then reached for Ellie and rushed her through the gallery toward the far wall and a large portrait. A beam of natural light from the single uncovered window illuminated the painting edge to edge, and when Louisa stepped in front of it, she cast a shadow across the canvas.
Ellie stared. “This isn’t you,” she said, somehow knowing that this woman—the spitting image of Louisa but for some sort of knowledge shining through the eyes of the painted woman—was her mother.
Louisa reached up into the sunlight and let her shadow caress the cheek of her mother on the wall. “Mama. She was beautiful,” she whispered.
“Like you,” Ellie replied. “She looks like you. Or, I suppose, you look like her,” Ellie said as she stood behind Louisa so as not to block any more light to the painting.
Louisa turned her face, illuminated by the sunlight just as her mother’s was in the painting. She shifted her shoulders, straightened her spine, tilted her head, then relaxed her eyes and dropped her lips open the slightest bit.
“Oh my God,” Ellie said. “Oh my God!” She’d never seen anything like this—as if the painting had come to life. As though Louisa had walked from the wall and into the sunlight.
Louisa smiled and broke the spell then swept a hand down Ellie’s shoulder to her hand, and moved back into the gallery.
“I’m sorry. I… I suppose you do understand a loss that was never your own.”
“I suppose I do,” Louisa said. “I always wondered if that was why my father had no time for me, because I reminded him of her, because I know he loved her. At least I believe he did. In reality, it could have been that he hated her as well. I don’t know. I should probably never know, in fact.” Louisa sat on a long chaise, resting against the arm at the end, and waited for Ellie to join her. “You would wear blue today,” she said, quietly fingering her own dress then Ellie’s.
“It seems we had the same idea,” Ellie replied as she sank to the chaise.
“I can only hope we do,” Louisa said. Ellie watched Louisa, and a shiver coursed her spine and settled in her chest. She stared at Louisa’s lips as they formed words, sounds, breath, but she couldn’t make anything out above the pounding of her own heartbeat. Then her breath was close enough she felt it on her cheek, could smell the lemon and spice from her tea. She didn’t know what Louisa had said, and maybe that was best because she didn’t react when Louisa took her hand and ran a thumb along the edge of her palm and she possibly should have. Louisa ran her other hand from her shoulder to her elbow. Ellie stilled, couldn’t move, and when Louisa’s lips met her cheek, her hand resting on the opposite cheek, holding her there, Ellie nearly dissolved into a puddle at her feet.
She’d never had a friend, and she now understood why all the girls had them. She understood, finally, how very important friendship was. She’d never felt this close to another person in all her life. She didn’t want to ever leave this moment.
Louisa
“Ellie, I—” Louisa said against Ellie’s warm cheek, but Ellie turned away, a blush rising from her neck to her ears. She shouldn’t have been so bold. “Ellie, please.”
“No, I— I’m not… I don’t. I apologize, I’ve never—”
“Ellie.”
Ellie turned and took Louisa’s gaze with her own, but it wasn’t painful or judgmental or terrified as Louisa thought it might be. “Louisa, I’ve never in my life had a friendship where…” She paused, her brow wrinkled, and Louisa was afraid to say anything. “I guess I had no idea it could be like this.”
“Friends kiss, don’t they? They should. I don’t see why not.” Louisa thought she should say something else, instead of trying to play her actions as different. Was this merely friendship? She wasn’t sure. This felt like…so much more than that, somehow, and perhaps Ellie did as well, but was just as afraid. “Ellie, I’ve never had friends, and certainly none like this. I’m so very blessed to have found you.”
“And I you. I simply…” Ellie said, her hands in her lap.
“Please forgive my awkwardness. I don’t know how to do any of this. All I know for certain is that I care for you. It may seem sudden, but…” Louisa said.
“Perhaps. But I care for you as well. I imagine we’ve plenty of time to figure it all out. That is something friends do, yes?”
“It’s what I’ve always imagined, at least, that friends watch out for each other, they care for each other, they protect and support each other, they…they learn things together. I wouldn’t ever ask more than that of you.”
“You’ve truly never had friends? It seems so odd.”
“I was kept home. They didn’t want me getting any brazen ideas, I suppose. Nobody was good enough. My father wanted his family above reproach.”
“That sounds very lonely,” Ellie said, and the words settled in Louisa’s chest as though she hadn’t ever considered it. Lonely, yes, that was the word she’d never thought to use.
“Would you… Perhaps it sounds funny and—”
“Tell me, Louisa, please?”
“You have a name that nobody uses but me, would it be too much or too odd or…” Louisa chewed her lip.
“What shall I call you?”
“Only what you’ve already called me, even as it was by accident.” She quieted for a moment, wondering if she should tell her how it felt. Holding back from this woman felt like lying somehow. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, the scent of violets making her smile. “Both times stilled my heart as I waited…and I long for that feeling again.”
“Lou,” Ellie said on a breath and then hushed.
Louisa beamed, knowing Ellie had understood. Accidental as it was. She nodded.
“Lou. I rather like that. I also rather like that not one soul will call you that but me. It seems only fair,” Ellie said.
“Louuuiiiiiisaaaaa!” The name rang through the front entry, and they both stood, hands snapping to clutch at their own waists.
Louisa rushed to the entry of the gallery, unhooking the latch and swinging the doors wide to the sun from the foyer. “Here, My Lady!” she said. Then she walked forward, her heart racing inside her chest. She leaned over the balustrade to the group in the front entry. “I was showing Miss Eliot Rigsby the gallery.”
Her stepmother looked up. “As you should. The gallery is extensive and quite impressive.” She turned to Ellie’s mother. “Your daughter is welcome here. The gallery is a good place to practice sketching. We also have an extensive library for practicing dictation and the like, and our music room, of course, is unparalleled. She would be welcome to join Louisa in her lessons.”
Louisa watched, hopeful, nearly tipping herself over the balustrade as she tried to hear the response.
Ellie’s mother brightened. “Of course, I’ve no doubt Maitland would benefit from such lessons and friendship. If there’s anything I can do—” She stopped short, certainly realizing there was nothing the viscountess couldn’t afford to provide for Louisa, and certainly Ellie’s mother had seen that in her eyes.
The ladies turned back to them.
“Mrs. Eliot is prepared to leave. Where is Miss Eliot Rigsby?” the viscountess said.
“Here, My Lady, thank you,” Ellie said as she passed Louisa. She took Ellie’s hand and squeezed, promising her entire world in that touch. Then Ellie moved away and Louisa watched her go, descending the steps in her lovely skirts.
When Ellie reached the group in the foyer they turned to the entry. Lady Mayjoy looked up to Louisa, then called to Mrs. Eliot. “We are going to the dressmakers this afternoon. Perhaps your daughter would care to join us?”
Louisa stopped breathing. She needed to stop stopping. She would end up in hospital should she not. Yet she waited for the answer without a breath yet.
“Of course,” Mrs. Eliot replied with a too-grand smile.
Her stepmother watched, and Louisa could tell she was annoyed. “We shall be by around three in the Viscounts carriage to collect her. P
lease have her ready.”
“Of course, ma’am.”
Louisa stayed until they quit the house. She breathed then as well. Finally. Then she turned to enter the gallery, to retrace the steps she’d taken with Ellie earlier. To remember every turn of her graceful hand, every time the light through the glass had sparked in her eyes. She wanted to reach for it, to cast it to memory, to keep it forever and hold it dear. For while they were friends, and she knew they would be friends, this woman would marry and move to her husband’s home to bear his children. She would not have access to her then as she did now.
But that was for later. She ran a hand up and down the leg of the sculpture, tracing Ellie’s touch and holding the memories close.
“Louisa.” She froze. She hadn’t heard Lady Mayjoy enter the gallery. “I appreciate that you have a friend, even as beneath us as she is. Please have a care, however. You do still need to marry and get out of this house. Do not let your father see you wasting all your time looking to this girl for companionship, or I shall be forced to be rid of her and her new-money family. Use her to help find a husband, perhaps someone of her set since you haven’t managed with ours. You will both marry and can then remain friends.”
Louisa’s skin tightened, drawing her shoulders back, her hands tight. She turned to her and nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
She looked past Louisa, inspecting the portrait of her mother. “And when you move out, you may take that with you. It’s no longer needed here.”
“Yes ma’am,” Louisa said. So that settled it. Her mother wasn’t missed and her father must hate her because she only reminded him of her. The last thread of hope she had left in her heart snapped, and she pressed her hand to her belly as she curtseyed to hide her sadness from Lady Mayjoy. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you, ma’am.”
Ellie
“Purchase whatever Lady Mayjoy recommends. Have the bills sent directly,” her mother said in a harried voice. “Your father will complain, but this is quite obviously a test. Do whatever she says.”
“Yes, mama,” Ellie replied.
The knocker on the door sounded through the entry, and her mother nodded to the butler. He approached and whispered to her mother.
“They await you in the carriage. They don’t think there’s time to come inside,” she said with a stiff smile.
Ellie took her mother’s hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry, mama. I’m sure it’s true.”
“In which case you should hurry. Don’t keep Lady Mayjoy waiting.” Her mother took her shoulders and turned her for the door. “Go on now. Remember, don’t refuse a thing.”
Ellie walked down the steps then took the proffered hand of the footman as she stepped up into the carriage. She turned to sit on the rear-facing bench next to Louisa. She nodded. “Lady Mayjoy, thank you again for the invitation,” she said respectfully. She felt Louisa’s hand on hers with a quick gentle squeeze hello, then the door closed and the carriage lurched forward.
“We’ll be visiting my personal tailor and haberdasher. If they have time, they may be able to fit you as well. It depends on previous appointments. They are very much in demand,” Lady Mayjoy said.
“Of course, My Lady. I wouldn’t want to put anyone out but would be happy to be fitted if time permits,” Ellie said. She turned to the window.
“What is it your father does?” Lady Mayjoy asked then.
“Trade, My Lady. He has quite a prosperous business with India. My father helped to expand the representation of England.”
Lady Mayjoy nodded, and Ellie hoped that was impressive enough for her. It was nothing but true.
“I understand India has been a profitable area for quite some time,” Lady Mayjoy said.
“Yes, ma’am, but I don’t pretend to know too much about it. My father would no doubt tell me more if I were a son, but as I’m not, I only know what he may discuss with others in my presence,” Ellie said with a smile.
“I see. It is our place to disseminate information to the best of our ability in order to protect and help our families. Certainly you will become more adept at ferreting information as you grow into your own as a woman—at least, one would hope.”
Ellie exchanged a glance with Louisa, not entirely sure why Lady Mayjoy would be so interested in her father’s business. “I learn as much as I’m able, my Lady, and as you say I hope to only become more proficient at learning for the betterment of my family.” Ellie looked out the window, watching as the busy London streets seemed to swarm about them as the carriage cut its way through the crowds. She leaned against Louisa whenever possible, around turns, when the carriage swayed, wanting the warmth of her, the tangible reality of her person so close. And when Louisa leaned back, Ellie couldn’t help but to grin and to hide it as well to prevent any odd questioning, to protect this quietest of moments between them.
The bustle thinned, and the carriage pulled up to what seemed a private residence at the center of a block. The footman dropped the stairs and opened the door, reaching in and escorting Lady Mayjoy, first, from the carriage. Ellie followed behind Louisa, and they entered the beautiful residence that doubled as a dress shop. Tea was set in a small parlor on the left, and a butler was collecting gloves, bags, and wraps as a woman in a narrow black dress descended the staircase toward them.
“Lady Mayjoy, a pleasure as ever,” she said as she took her hands and curtseyed.
“Marjorie. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice,” Lady Mayjoy responded.
“For you, anything. What can we do?” Marjorie led them into the parlor and directed them to the settees around the tea butler.
“Louisa needs something new. She has yet to catch herself a husband. Obviously what she’s been doing hasn’t worked,” Lady Mayjoy said. “This girl, Miss Eliot Rigsby, had a dress on the other night that garnered quite a bit of attention. Perhaps you could do something similar, though not in such a pale shade of course, as Louisa is far past the blushing youth stage. She isn’t bound to fool anyone with a dress.”
So she was here because of the dress. Louisa stared at the floor, and Ellie wanted very much to reach out and take comfort, but she dared not.
Marjorie smiled. “Tell me of the dress then?”
“Ma’am,” Ellie said. “It was designed by Emile Pingat. My mother had several commissioned on our last trip to Paris.” Ellie watched as the woman’s eyes widened.
“Of course they’re stunning, without doubt then,” she said with the wave of a hand. Ellie smiled and saw Lady Mayjoy narrow her eyes. “Lady Mayjoy, we would be happy to create a few items for Louisa, in the style of Pingat, and of course we have many lovely imported silks and brocades to accomplish anything you wish.” Marjorie stood and waved her hands at Louisa and Ellie, and they followed. “You may stay if you wish, but the fitting should be most of the afternoon.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Lady Mayjoy said as she stood. “I’ll send the carriage for her when I’m finished with my rounds.”
The door shut behind her, and they all seemed to breathe.
Then Marjorie turned to Ellie. “You must tell me everything about him! Did you actually meet Monsieur Pingat? Or was it merely his workers?”
“Oh, I met Monsieur Pingat, and he was lovely. The way his hands moved…it was incredible. We were in his fashion studio for nearly three days. He did all of the design and fitting of the dresses while we wore them so they would be exact,” Ellie said.
Marjorie stood and put a hand to her mouth. “Of course… As intricate as everything is…as delicate the fabric…” Ellie could see her considering. “Tell me about the dress Lady Mayjoy is particular about?”
Louisa smiled then. “Marjorie, it’s like an extension of Ellie herself. The color was…like a blush, and the style…long and elegant with curves that enhanced who she is. They didn’t take away from her at all. It was stunning. The line in the back was high neck to floor with pleats the entire way, but the front was cut low, though at first glance because of the color you real
ly had no idea until you were already looking too long. Perfect.” She said, “Absolutely perfect.”
Ellie caught her breath at the detailed description. At first she felt warm all over at the description, but then her skin tightened as she considered longer. Was she nothing but a dress?
Marjorie nodded. “Let’s see what colors we have, then we can talk about design. I can only do so much. Certainly you ladies have no interest in standing while I create a dress around you.”
“For a dress like that one?” Louisa said, then looked at Ellie and smiled. “I can see how it would be worth every minute.”
“If you have a moment, I could send to my mother for the dress,” Ellie said, and Louisa’s eyes narrowed. “If that’s all that matters is the dress.” She felt cold and it had nothing to do with her state of dress because the temperature in here was near sweltering.
“If you wouldn’t mind,” Marjorie said then snapped her fingers and a footman approached. “Gordon, please see to Miss Eliot Rigsby’s wishes.” Marjorie walked to the back room, leaving them there, and Ellie gave Gordon the instructions, watching as he too disappeared from the room, leaving them alone. She needed space to think, but Louisa took her hand before she could walk away.
She pulled Ellie close. “What’s happening?”
“I just…didn’t realize that this—” She motioned between them, tried to calm her nerves before she broke. Attempted to steady her voice before it faltered. “Was all about that…dress.” Her voice still broke on the last word.
“What do you mean?”
“This, our friendship. Is that the only reason I was invited to—”
“Oh Ellie, this, what’s between us? Has nothing to do with the dress and everything to do with the woman who wore it. The dress was stunning, but you… Ellie, you’re the warmest, most beautiful and lovely person and the dress pales in comparison to you. This—” she also motioned between them, “—is not at all about that dress,” Louisa said, and Ellie took a breath, even managed a smile. “This about everything beneath that dress.” And then Louisa blushed, quite ferociously.
