‘Up the bridlepath to that bench on the hill?’
I nod again. We went up there just before he left. It’s a sunny spot, with views over the farms, the village below.
We don’t speak as we walk. We hold hands and the warmth of his in mine is reassuring, each time our shoulders bump we glance at each other and smile.
Jamie shrugs the rucksack off his shoulders, pulls out a rug and lays it down on the grass a few yards in front of the bench, and pulls me down beside him.
His lips are firm and dry as they meet mine, and I close my eyes so that I can drink him in. The taste of him, the feel of him as I cling on. The warmth of his breath, the heat of his touch.
‘I missed you,’ he says softly, when he finally lifts his mouth from mine. His hand still cradling my face.
‘I missed you too,’ I whisper back.
For a moment we sit on the rug, our thighs lightly touching, my heart rate gradually dropping to near-normal.
‘Thanks for the presents,’ I say, and our gazes meet again. I feel like a teenager again, on a first date.
He smiles, a soft smile not his boyish grin. ‘I thought the desk was starting to look a bit bare, after your tidy-up.’
‘Mabel is very excited about her bikini.’ I hesitate, and then decide I have to say what’s been on my mind. ‘Jamie, are you sure you should have told Claire about me? She’s not, well,’ I don’t want to sound mean, if she is being genuine, ‘tricking you and then when it goes to court—’ I mean, Jamie is normally quite savvy, he’s not daft. But he’s so desperate to see Alfie, that maybe he’s not seeing things straight.
‘I wondered the same at first, but she’s not. She wants Alfie to be happy, she wants me to be happy, and she knows you’re nice not some screwball.’ I raise an eyebrow. ‘We drafted an agreement. She’s not going to go to Spain, not yet anyway, her mum gave her a bollocking for even thinking about it.’
‘Really, her mum did?’
‘Yeah, total. She told her she wasn’t being fair on me.’
‘Wow. And you don’t think she’ll come back here?’
‘Nope.’ He shakes his head, his gaze soft as he squeezes my hand. ‘She loves it in Cornwall, and I don’t blame her, it’s a fantastic place. So, I mean, well, how do you feel about spending summers down there?’
I stare at him, trying to get this straight in my head. Be sure I’m not getting over excited about nothing. My pulse is racing, and there’s a fluttering in my stomach, but I don’t know if I dare believe what I’m thinking.
‘What exactly—’
‘I’ve missed you, Alice.’ He puts his hand over mine. ‘Really missed you. I’ve had loads of time to think. It was easier to ignore how I felt when I was seeing you every day in the office. Is that totally odd, or does it make sense?’
I nod. I do know what he means. When we were in the office every day, I fancied him like mad, but managed to tell myself it meant nothing. I could somehow keep my feelings under wraps. We were just colleagues. He teased; I shook my head at his rubbish jokes and pretended he was a prat.
It changed when we weren’t seeing each other.
‘I know how odd it sounds, it’s weird, but once we were swapping notes things changed.’ He is studying my face intently.
‘I know.’ It was more intimate somehow.
Notes are easier – notes you say things, notes you’re more you. You drop your defences.
‘Alice, I know I’ve cocked up, I know I just pushed you away because of Alfie, but—’
‘Alfie’s important.’ I turn my hand over, curl my fingers into his. ‘The most important thing. You need to be part of his life.’
‘I’d like you to be part of his life as well, Alice, if you’d like to. But, well,’ he lets go of my hands and runs his fingers through his hair. ‘Look, the reason I’ve not said this, apart from not knowing if I can see him, is, well…’
‘What?’ I prompt, because he’s floundering, and I’m scared of what he’s going to say.
He looks me straight in the eye. ‘I nearly said something on the phone, but I know you need space, I know you’ve always had to share, and your life’s been crowded, and the last thing you need is a kid. Somebody else’s kid.’ He pauses. ‘Picking everything up, your stuff.’
‘Sometimes I need space,’ I say carefully. ‘But you were right when you said the chaos suits me. I do like to be surrounded by people, by things going on, even if I don’t say much sometimes. When you and Soph left it kind of hit me how much.’ I look straight at him. ‘I don’t mind sharing; I don’t want to put my stuff under lock and key that isn’t how I want to live at all. I don’t need to; I just need to stand up for myself.’ He nods. ‘I’m working out what my boundaries are,’ I say softly. ‘I want you to be inside them though.’
‘I want to be there too,’ he says, his voice so low and intimate it’s like pillow talk. ‘I want you to be part of Alfie’s life and mine.’
‘I’d like that too,’ I say simply. ‘Except I do need to know something.’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘What does the S stand for, your middle name?’ It’s been niggling me since he wrote that contract. I’m a saddo, I’ve got to admit I’ve dug it out and stared at it, and held it, on a regular basis while he’s been away.
He chuckles. ‘Nosey! You’ll take the piss if I tell you, everybody does!’
‘I had to put up with you taking the piss out of me in the office for ages, so I think it’s fair!’
‘I didn’t!’ he says, then relents. ‘Sorry, I wasn’t really taking the piss, I just liked to tease you. It was my way of getting your attention without me having to admit to myself that I couldn’t stop fancying you.’
‘So?’
He raises his eyebrows, purses his lips and shakes his head. ‘Silas.’
‘Silas?’
‘Stop it!’
I’m trying not to smile, but it’s difficult. ‘Where’s that come from?’
‘Well,’ he draws out the word, ‘it means someone who belongs in the forest because…’ There’s a hint of pink along his cheekbones.
‘Your parents, they, you…’
He nods. ‘I was the longed-for son and so my sane and sensible parents got so carried away they needed to have a constant reminder of where it happened.’
I’m trying really, really hard to keep the laughter in and I’m managing it. Until unexpectedly he grins, then chuckles. I can’t hold it in any longer. It’s not really that funny, but I guess all the heightened emotions, all the anticipation, all the worry bubbles over and for a moment we both laugh helplessly.
Jamie sobers up first and shakes his head at me. ‘Unbelievable, I trust you with my deepest, darkest secrets and this is what I get. I need a drink!’
Then he reaches into his rucksack and pulls out plastic glasses and a bottle of rosé. ‘Pink!’ He grins. We silently toast each other, still smiling, and then he pulls out the rest of the picnic.
Not a stale sausage roll in sight.
‘So it did go okay then with Claire?’
‘It did. I guess things could change, but for now I think it’s going to work.’ He munches for a while. ‘She’s a good mum. Whatever I thought of her, she really loves him. Oh hey, I nearly forgot.’ He delves into the pocket of his rucksack and pulls something out, holds his hand over mine and lets it fall.
It’s a conker. I frown.
‘You said you were going to bring one into work to keep the spiders away,’ he says softly.
I’m still confused. And then he opens his hand so that I can see he’s still holding another one.
‘I found a shell with two in just after Reading Festival. They fell early that year, and,’ he smiles at me shyly, ‘they were nestled perfectly together, meant to be, and it just made me think of you.’
I blink at him.
‘So I kept them, because I thought maybe one day…’
Wow, this is an eye-opener. ‘And then the time never seemed right?’
‘No, the time never
seemed right. Until now.’
‘Thank you.’ I close my fingers around it. Not sure what else to say. Jamie never ceases to amaze me. Surprise me.
He puts his arm around me, and I rest my head on his shoulder. Staring down the valley, the sun warming my skin.
‘Are you sure you can stand my mess as well as Alfie’s?’ I ask, glancing up at him. Wanting to be sure.
‘Of course, you’re my gorgeous clutter bug.’ he says and leans forward to kiss the tip of my nose.
‘But I thought you weren’t that keen on clutter.’
‘I never said that! And anyway, you wouldn’t be you without your stuff.’
‘It’s not a deal-breaker?’
He chuckles. ‘No, but your Manchester City obsession might be!’
‘Ah, I need to talk to you about that. Dad isn’t impressed about having an enemy in our midst, he’ll be determined to convert you.’
‘No chance.’ He kisses the top of my head. ‘Some things are non-negotiable.’ He sighs dramatically, and I wonder what’s coming next. ‘I suppose I better confess now, rather than later.’
‘What, another confession?’
‘A terrible one! My sister is married to one of the players.’
‘No shit?’
‘No shit,’ he says solemnly. ‘Think it will be a problem?’
‘Could be,’ I say, looking down to hide my smile. ‘Might not be able to get past something that major. It makes you winning the Chocs’n’Cheese account by sneaky means fade into significance, so we’ll have to see how it goes.’
‘What do you mean, sneaky means?’ he says, pretending to be affronted.
‘Playing the “my dad knows your dad” line!’
He chuckles, then rolls me onto my back and leans over me. His eyes glinting, dimples at the side of his mouth.
‘He did!’ he says. ‘Sometimes the end justifies the means, the freebies were un-be-lievable! Cheese, wine, chocolates to die for.’
I try and punch him in the ribs, but he’s too quick for me. His hands grab my wrists and he’s kissing my neck and then his mouth is on mine and I can’t fight any longer. I crane up, hungry for more kisses, deeper kisses, hungry for him.
When we stop kissing, we’re breathless. I want him so much my voice is shaky when I speak. ‘You can’t get out of it like that.’
‘Oh no? I’ll have to try harder then.’ He kisses my neck again, and this times it is gentle, sensuous, not passionate and demanding. Then he pauses and looks down into my eyes. ‘We can make this work, can’t we?’
I smile. ‘I think so.’ I’ve never felt more sure in my life of anybody, anything.
‘When did you know?’ He asks, sitting up and pulling me beside him. ‘That first kiss?’
‘That first kiss.’
He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a crumpled note. ‘This is when I really knew there was no way I could fight it.’ He smooths it out. It is the sticky note I left saying he’d make a brilliant dad one day. ‘I took it home and stuck it on my mirror to remind me. It helped keep me going.’
‘I thought I’d upset you with that one,’ I admit.
‘Upset me? Why?’
‘You know, talking about kids, getting too personal.’
‘No way. You weren’t going to get rid of me that easily.’ He chuckles. ‘How’s this for personal?’ Then brings up a photo on his phone. It is a plant. ‘My sister sent this over with my parents. Said something about me needing the practice looking after something and not killing it, cheeky mare. I told you we had a love–hate relationship.’ He puts his mobile down. Then puts his arm around me again. ‘Our first plant – what do you think we should call it?’
‘I think you’ll find it’s our second,’ I say primly. ‘You’ll be upsetting Rodney.’
‘And we don’t want that, do we?’ he says. ‘I think I feel faint with all this responsibility. Come here, I need a lie down.’ He topples over and pulls me back onto the rug with him, and slips his warm hands under my T-shirt, sending a tingle down my spine. ‘You did say it’s always quiet up here, absolutely nobody comes this way, didn’t you?’ His voice is husky, a rough edge that makes me want him more than ever.
‘Very,’ I say, shivering as his thumb brushes over my nipple. ‘I’ve never ever seen anybody else here.’ And I let him pull me down until I can feel the length of his body beneath mine. ‘I always wondered why somebody put a bench here.’ And then I can’t say anything else because his hands are stroking my body, his legs are wrapped around mine and he’s kissing me.
THE END
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We hope you enjoyed Hot Desk!
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Do leave a review if so to help spread the word!
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Don’t miss The Dog Sitter, a hilarious and heartwarming romantic comedy about how one dog can lead two human hearts to tie more than one kind of knot…
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Be sure to follow Zara on Twitter @ZaraStoneley, on Facebook @ZaraStoneley and check out her website at www.zarastoneley.com for all the updates on her latest work.
Acknowledgments
It has been a very strange eighteen months or so, and harder than ever for most of us to concentrate, find inspiration, and plough on. I guess I’ve come to appreciate more than ever all the acts (large and small) of love, courage, and kindness.
Awesomeness comes in many forms, and I feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by, loved, and supported by, so many wonderful people. I can’t thank you all individually here, but I hope you know who you are.
When I submitted my first novel to the fabulous Charlotte Ledger – a lovely person, inspiring publisher, and brilliant editor – I never in my wildest dreams thought that a few years on more than half a million copies of my books would have been sold. I am so incredibly lucky to have found you, Charlotte, thank you so much for taking a chance on me and for everything you have done (and continue to do) for me!
To the awesome Amanda Preston. The best thing I ever did was hound you until you caved in and agreed to be my agent! Thank you!
Special thanks to all the lovely people (and fellow clutter bugs) on Facebook who helped me shape Alice’s desk, and her character. All your suggestions inspired me, but particular mention goes to Christine Davis, Suzie Tullett, Kathryn Coules, Jennifer Gordon, Ashleigh Scott, Clare Wall, Sarah Bennett, Tanya Jayne Phillips, and last but not least Sonia Bradley.
To my writing buddies, in particular Mandy Baggott and Jane Linfoot, who are always there for me with a supportive word – thank you! And to my family, who have had their own individual struggles over the past months, I love you all and couldn’t do this without you.
And finally, thank you for picking up this book – I hope you enjoy the story!
Zara x
Thank you for reading…
We hope you enjoyed Hot Desk!
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Do leave a review if so on all your preferred platforms to help spread the word!
Don’t miss The Dog Sitter, a hilarious and heartwarming romantic comedy about how one dog can lead two human hearts to tie more than one kind of knot…
Get your copy here!
You can also delve into her previous books by just clicking on the covers below!
Be sure to follow Zara on Twitter @ZaraStoneley, on Facebook @ZaraStoneley and check out her website at www.zarastoneley.com for all the updates on her latest work.
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Get your copy here!<
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You will also love A Secret Scottish Escape by Julie Shackman, an utterly delightful cosy romance that will whisk you away to the majestic Scottish Highlands with Layla Devlin as she falls into an unexpected inheritance amidst swirling rumours that a reclusive celebrity has moved to the sleepy community of Loch Harris to hide from his mysterious past… She sets her heart on convincing him to headline the opening night at her music venue but all is pitched into chaos as his secrets break the surface…
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And don’t miss Duvet Day by Emily Kerr, a laugh-out-loud romcom following young lawyer Alexa Humphries as she’s worn down by the endless demands of her suspicious boss and her competitive, high-flying housemate and fellow lawyer Zara. Alexa barely recognises herself anymore. This wasn’t how life was supposed to be. But today is different. Today, Alexa just cannot get out of bed to face the world. Everyone deserves a duvet day, don’t they?
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Happy reading!
Zara Stoneley is the USA Today-bestselling author of The Wedding Date.
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She lives in a Cheshire village with her family, a lively cockapoo called Harry, and a very bossy (and slightly evil) cat called Saffron.
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