My clothes were in her arms, and she gave me a friendly smile.
“Your mate is downstairs, Alpha Female, but he told me you might appreciate clothes,” she teased, the smile never leaving her face.
I snatched the clothes from her and shut the door, rolling my eyes at her giggle.
“It isn’t funny, Oria! He’s cornered me into something I don’t want!” I snapped, drying myself thoroughly before getting dressed.
I looked in the mirror, glaring at my reflection. Damp strands of hair were plastered to my skin, and I angrily yanked them back into a braid. Oria peeked her head back in and gave me a nod of approval. She had good taste in fashion, I’d give her that. She had picked black skinny jeans and a grey tank top with a long brown cardigan that had Aztec patterns along the hem. I looked sophisticated, which was probably her aim. I wouldn’t bother with any makeup, nor would I attempt to wrestle with my hair. I had no intention of being around anyone that would care for my appearance.
“I can understand your anger, but you didn’t see him when he came back with you unconscious in his arms. He looked devastated when he told us what had happened, when he realised he’d taken your ability to choose,” Oria said, her hand on my arm. “He was sure your father would punish him, and he was ready to accept that.”
I gave her a look, studying blue eyes that held nothing but truth. He hadn’t said or done anything that gave the impression that he had been worried about me at all. In fact, it was beginning to feel like I annoyed him, which only made me wonder why he had chosen to mate with me.
“He doesn’t even know me. Why would he care so much?” I argued, leaning against the cold sink.
“His wolf decided you were his the moment he saw you. That’s what your mother said when she was talking to your father. His instincts may have pulled him towards you, but the man chose you too. That counts for something,” she pointed out.
She seemed older than she was in that moment. Her words were filled with wisdom that I couldn’t argue with.
“I’m not ready,” I finally whispered. “I was going to challenge Eagan for Beta later this year because I knew I wasn’t strong enough yet. How am I meant to be Alpha Female?”
The sympathy in her eyes had me bristling. I didn’t want to seem weak. Showing weakness made wolves draw close, smelling the chance of an easy challenge.
“Do you really think any male or female think they are ready for such a position? Do you think your mother settled into the role straight away? It’s a learning curve, Cathwulf. He will help you learn,” she answered, leading me out of the bathroom. “For now, come downstairs and have a drink with me before bed. Tell me all about your time with Alpha Roarke. Did you get a peek at what was beneath those clothes? He came in the house all sweating and naked, muscles bulging with you unconscious in his arms…”
I laughed and let her pull me downstairs, feeling a lot more at ease with her light joking. A small part of me wanted to warn her to keep her eyes elsewhere, the more feral part of me wanting to make sure Oria knew he was not for her. I shook such thoughts away, keeping the smile on my face. Her jokes had cheered me up, and I knew that’s all they were. She didn’t look at males the way other females did. She was too afraid to really be attracted and act on it.
Eagan and Seaghán were sitting at the island in the kitchen, a bottle of whiskey and glasses already out as we entered. The light was dim above the sink, and outside was so dark, it looked like the window had been blacked out.
Eagan was blatantly staring at my shoulder, no doubt trying to see the mark that was hidden. I bared fangs at him, and he looked away, pouring two more glasses.
“I thought you would be with your mate in bed, Cathwulf. Or has he already let you down in that department?” he asked snarkily.
I growled, my wolf peering through my eyes with more power than ever before. My head lifted, my stance widening as Eagan’s own wolf came to the forefront, ready for a fight. This was the first time I had not felt the need to drop my eyes from his gaze. His muscles were tensing, eyes widening as he began to tremble.
To the shock of everyone, Beta Eagan bowed.
Frozen, staring at his extended neck, my wolf rumbled in satisfaction. The power snapped back, and I stumbled, forgetting that I had to accept his submission.
Eagan’s sound of rage rumbled through the room, the ground shaking, but it did not make me submit. I couldn’t understand how he had folded to me so easily when a day before, I struggled to hold his eyes.
Now I was sure Eagan was going to lunge for me, to make the challenge that always simmered between us a physical one that would prove who was more once and for all.
Seaghán stood, ready to defend Oria as his nature dictated for him to protect the weaker wolf who whimpered and cowered away. Eagan glared at me, his glass smashing as he slammed it down then stormed out the room. My instincts were telling me to go after him and show him his place, but I was stuck to the spot.
He had left…
Did that mean he thought I could beat him or was it because he was scared of the repercussions Alpha Roarke would reap upon him if I was hurt? Then again, Roarke wouldn’t be able to interfere with a challenge. I closed my eyes for a moment, wondering how things had gotten so fucked up in such a short time.
Oria was staring at me wide eyed while Seaghán relaxed, watching his friend disappear out the front door. On seeing my confused expression, he stepped towards me.
“You’re mated to an Alpha, a strong one. You hold his dominance. Eagan will always bow to you now,” Seaghán explained, his voice grave. “We all will. Nobody from our pack will challenge you. This pack, however…I warn you to be careful, Cathwulf. Alpha Roarke and his pack follow traditions more closely than most do because their feral sides are not pushed away by the skin side. There will be females who will attempt to take what is yours, as is their right, but do not let them. They are not worthy. You’re meant to lead. You proved that when you gave up your dreams to return to help the pack.”
He then bowed his head and left the room, going after his wounded friend. All I could do was stand stock still and think over his words.
Make no mistake, I didn’t want to be Alpha Roarke’s mate, but what had happened had happened, and if any of this pack’s females came for me, I wouldn’t hesitate to put them in their place. If they thought they were more than me, then they would know different.
Let them come.
“I need a drink,” I muttered, grabbing the glass of whiskey, downing it in one. The alcohol burnt on its way down, heating my chest, almost making me cough. It was a feeling I welcomed at that moment.
Oria smirked as she picked her own glass up and took a small sip. I gave her a look, and she was suddenly more interested in what was out the window.
“Learning curve,” she sang quietly.
It would be a learning curve. I had never held so much strength in me before. I could practically feel it simmering beneath the surface, uncontrollable and feral.
Pouring another drink, I was angry because this wasn’t power I had come to by myself. How could I ever know if I had come into my true self or reached my potential if Roarke’s dominance and strength was shared with me? It would forever leave me wondering if I was what I was only because I was his.
I jumped at the bang of the door clattering against the wall as Beta Zale ran in, looking alarmed. His hair was a mess, and he reeked of sex, my nose scrunching at the scent.
“I heard glass breaking. I thought something was wrong,” he grumbled at seeing us sitting there, probably annoyed that he had left his mate upstairs in their bed for nothing.
I snickered, feeling the urge to ask why it had taken him so long to come and investigate because he had obviously only managed to disengage in his activities once the whole scene was already over. I almost felt sorry for Saba being left alone after whatever they had been up to.
“Everything’s fine. Our Beta just realised his place is now below Cathwulf.” Oria grinned, nud
ging me.
My eyes darted to hers and narrowed.
Beta Zale nodded then turned to leave, bobbing his head to me as he did. “I will leave you to it then, Alpha Female.”
I stared after him, my mouth parting only for Oria to lean over and close it for me. I wasn’t aware that everyone already knew of my position!
“His Beta has already accepted you? What did you do to impress him so quickly?” she mused, a finger circling the rim of her glass.
I shook my head in wonder. When he had met me, he had tested me and I had reacted. Had my reaction passed the test? At dinner, after my small fight with Roarke, he given his Alpha a nod of approval. Was he sure from these small encounters alone that I would be a good female, one good enough to lead this pack?
I sighed heavily. It was beginning to seem like everyone apart from me had accepted my mating before I was even aware of it.
“Who knows? I no longer feel like any of this was a choice, like any of this was something I could have said no to. I feel like fate had this all planned from the minute I decided to come here, and you can’t fight what the Gods have planned,” I fretted, fingers tapping my glass.
“Then what have you got to worry about? If fate or the Gods had this planned, then you were chosen for a reason. Give yourself some credit and have a little faith,” Oria advised cheerily.
“You should get that on a mug,” I sassed, grinning at her optimism.
Oria may only be an omega, bottom of the pack, but she was well respected by all. Omegas were treasured for their love of fun and freedom. If I was ever upset, Oria could make me smile. I would miss her when she returned to the East with our pack, no…her pack.
This was my pack now.
I belonged to Alpha Roarke and to whatever path had been placed before me.
Chapter Six
By His Side
I had donned the outfit Oria had picked last night, tied my hair back in two French braids, and added a little makeup to make myself feel more confident, yet I couldn’t help but feel less than adequate.
I’d given up on trying to fool myself into thinking I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. The time I had spent making myself presentable was longer than usual. I couldn’t help but study myself in the mirror and wish that I was a little bit taller, slimmer, prettier. Still unhappy, I reapplied yet more lip-gloss.
Procrastination was my friend today.
I hadn’t gone down for breakfast, even though I knew Alpha Roarke wouldn’t be there. There was no way I was facing my new pack mates or my parents just yet. I had briefly debated eating with Oria, but even that caused more feelings of anxiety than I was able to cope with. Cabin fever was beginning to kick in, though; wolves weren’t meant to be cooped up in rooms for hours like I had done to myself, especially while my wolf whined her want to find her mate.
I settled on the bed and flipped through one of the books I had brought with me, getting lost in yellowing pages and finding myself in the story, entranced by the flow of words that weaved tales of the old days when kings fought for their people and honour was the code of all men.
Before I knew it, midday had rolled around, and I knew I had to make my way downstairs soon. It wouldn’t be too good if my first impression as Alpha Female was my being terribly late. Starting in good standing was important. It’d be easier to gain support, friends, and respect than having lost it before I’d even had the chance. So why was I still stuck staring at the door like it’d bite?
I was the daughter of an Alpha! Why was one male sending me so off kilter?
My wolf was pacing, eager to see her mate, to rub her scent on him so everyone would know he was hers. Her nature was making me antsy, and I had gone to leave the room three times and failed. Every time I twisted the handle, my heart would stutter, my knees would buckle, and I’d end up sitting back on the bed.
“Come on, Cathwulf. You can do this. He’s just a male,” I insisted to myself, pushing myself back to my feet, determined to actually leave the room this time.
I yanked open the door then shrieked at the wall of muscle I was unexpectedly met with. My hand flew to my heart that hammered, and I let out an unsteady laugh that caught in my throat as I looked up.
Alpha Roarke.
Pale green eyes watched me in amusement, an eyebrow quirked, and a smile tugged at his lips. Wishing that I had paid more attention, that I hadn’t just screeched like a little girl in a bad horror movie, I tried to play off my blush.
“Alpha Roarke, you scared me,” I admitted, feeling sheepish, stepping back so I could think without him being so overwhelmingly close.
“It’s just Roarke, and I’m sorry. You were taking a while. I came up to make sure you hadn’t forgotten to come for lunch. There’s an empty seat by my side at the table that should have been filled fifteen minutes ago. My high ranked are going hungry waiting for you,” he teased, but the look in his eyes was clear. “Although now they probably think I came up to punish you with the sound you just made.”
I couldn’t decide if he was more amused or unhappy with me, but no doubt the rest of those at the table were less than pleased. Even my father would scold me for being so late. They had been made to wait for their Alpha Female’s presence before eating, and I had let them wait. Already I was failing. At least I knew Alpha Roarke still had a sense of humour when irritated.
I stood straighter, keeping his gaze, ready to make something up, only to slump, knowing he would see through any lie I fed him. Our relationship was new, and I decided being truthful was the best way forward.
“Forgive me. I’m…I’m a little nervous.” I sighed, clasping my hands in front of me.
He could probably smell the nerves on me even if my stance didn’t betray my true feelings.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about,” he soothed, his expression softening. “All you need to do is eat.”
I gave him a small smile, letting him place my arm on his elbow to lead me down. His body was solid next to mine, instinct making me lift my head in pride at being by the side of such a male. His quiet confidence calmed me and allowed me to take a breath without my chest constricting painfully. It was while we walked that I noticed the crusty blue paint that stained his fingers, but I didn’t have time to ask about it before I was faced with the door to the dining room.
Roarke opened the door for me, and my confidence wavered as the chatter of many voices slowly died down at my presence, all focus suddenly turning to me. Wolves watched me make my way to the top of the table where there was now two chairs instead of one.
I sat first, as I had watched my mother do. The Alpha could not sit while those ranked below him still stood; it was a sign of weakness to do otherwise.
“Alpha, Alpha Female.” Beta Zale bowed his head in a greeting that was copied by all at the table.
Everybody at this table was from his pack. Our pack.
I wished my parents were here, craving the guiding hand of my mother and the solid figure of dependence my father had always been. However, I knew I couldn’t rely on them forever and that I’d have to find my own way here. This was a lunch purely for Roarke’s pack alone so I could focus on getting to know his high ranked wolves, to weigh up those that could be my closest allies and figure out the dynamics. My parents were having a romantic lunch somewhere in a nearby village to give me space, space I didn’t really want now.
Saba seemed like she would be a helping hand, though. She was a few years younger than my mother by estimation, which meant she had experience and knowledge that would be useful to me. I was still trying to figure out Roarke’s age, though it was obvious he was older than me. I had never felt so young, naïve, unready.
Alpha Roarke was busy filling his plate, not noticing how I studied everyone closely.
My hand reached out to get my own food only to have him shake his head at me and all but bat my hand away.
“You eat what I give you today,” he informed me, placing a full plate in front of me that had a little bit
of everything on it. He’d made my plate before he had his own, and that was a big gesture to all who sat at the table because the Alpha always ate first.
To a human, the gesture may have seemed sweet. To me, it was annoying, making the idea that I was seen as too young more founded.
“I’m not a newborn pup,” I argued, letting him see my wolf through my eyes.
Nobody had plated food for me since I had reached the age of being able to feed myself. After that, I had to wait for my turn to eat just like everyone else in the pack.
He growled, and the room was suddenly thick with his dominance. Even Saba looked tense, Beta Zale placing his hand over hers.
I knew I had stepped over an invisible line with him. All I could do was hope he would be lenient in his lesson. I wished the conversation had started back up so I could at least pretend everyone wasn’t watching us both.
“You forget your place. Your pack has strayed too far from tradition, as have others, trying to fit in with the humans. I told you last night that we follow the Feral Way. We are wolves. We act as wolves. You eat from my hand,” he repeated, the scolding not going amiss.
I wished I could have challenged him, but my wolf was already whimpering in my head, willing me to stand down, not understanding why I had to upset our mate. I knew in that moment I really did have a lot to learn. I didn’t mean to disrespect this pack; I just wasn’t used to their ways. Maybe my father was right. I had a lot to learn about the ways of other packs.
I bowed my head, bared my neck, and inadvertently revealed the mark on my skin to him. His mark. Staying in this position, waiting for his acceptance of my apology, I was embarrassed at having been put in my place in front of his high ranked pack members. A brunette near the end of the table was watching me with a smirk, taking satisfaction in my humiliation. Before I could show my displeasure at the insubordination, Alpha Roarke leaned down and gently nipped my mark. My whole body came to life at the touch of his teeth on my skin, and my breathing hitched audibly.
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