His touch was gentle as he inspected me, my skin heating where his fingers lingered. He took the alcohol wipes and began cleaning my skin of blood. The occasional hiss left me as the wipes burned cuts or he pressed too hard on already bruising flesh, making me squirm.
“Stop moving. You’re only causing yourself more pain,” he instructed, muttering about my maybe needing a doctor.
The tension was thick in the air, and my eyes watered. I told myself it was because of the pain, nothing else. Fingers pressed against sore ribs, and I shoved his hand away.
“Ouch!” I yelped, giving him an irritated look. “You knew that would hurt. Are you that angry at me?”
Roarke’s expression softened and he sighed, sitting back. “It’s not you I’m angry at, my female.”
My eyes widened in surprise, my wolf perking up from her moping. “It’s not? I thought…”
“I’m angry at Brenna for thinking she could challenge you, especially after what happened at lunch. I thought she had learned her lesson, but she thought she was more than she was, and you got hurt,” he gritted out. “Though I am very proud of how well you handled her. Brenna is one of the pack’s fiercest warriors. You did well. I underestimated you, and I’m sorry.”
His praise warmed my heart, my frustration with him altogether dissipating, only to be taken over by awe. Roarke said nothing else, keeping his eyes on where he worked. Lifting my arm, he gently cleaned the thick gouges of torn flesh on my side, pausing whenever I flinched even though I hardly felt the pain now.
My eyes never left his face, seeing him in a new light.
“It was bound to happen, Roarke. Challenges to the new Alpha Female are common. You must know this,” I said, trying to catch his eyes.
Pale green met soft gold, something akin to delight shining in their depths. He grinned, and I blinked.
“What?” I asked, trying not to smile, finding it impossible not to.
“You called me Roarke. I like the sound of my name coming from your lips so easily,” he confessed, lifting a hand to cup my cheek.
I leaned into his touch for just a moment of weakness at how sweet and full of childlike delight he was. Our eyes stayed locked, both of us losing ourselves to the new feeling humming through the bond until I forced myself to look away. He removed his hand to go back to fixing me up, and I was glad he seemed to have changed his mind about me needing a doctor. I hated doctors. Roarke’s touch stayed gentle, and I hated how it softened me, how every touch left goose bumps.
Was this how the Laoch and Ailill felt when they found their Shíoghras, their soulmates? The rush of electricity and heat from a single touch, the feeling of seeing the other’s soul through their eyes? It was no wonder that they spent their lives looking for their other half. Who would want to live without having the chance to feel this? True, wolves chose their mates, but the bond created linked two souls together just like as strong as the bond Shíoghra’s were born with.
“You don’t need stitches, but you should take it easy for the rest of the day,” he suggested, putting bloodied wipes and bandages in the bin. The ease in which he helped me made me wonder how often he had done this. I found I didn’t like the idea he had been injured so often that he had to learn.
“Thank you,” I said softly, giving him a gentle smile.
I was definitely beginning to soften to him.
Roarke smiled back and nodded. “You’re mine to take care of. You should go to bed and relax. I need to go see Brenna, but I’ll come by and bring you some food and make sure you’re healing.”
My mouth fell open in disbelief, unable to comprehend what he had just said. He took a shirt from the couch and gave it to me to put on, either ignoring or not noticing my disgruntlement. I tugged it on quickly, no longer comfortable with being naked while her name was on his lips.
“Brenna, why? She doesn’t deserve your checking up on her. She challenged me; she should be forced to look after her own wounds!” I argued, standing so I could hold his eyes, not be so far beneath him.
The shirt only went mid-thigh. My legs were still bare, and his eyes lingered on them, trailing up their length. A low growl rumbled up from my centre that was interrupted by Alpha Roarke.
“She is pack, Cathwulf, and she doesn’t have a mate to care for her. It’s my duty—”
“No!” I snapped, cutting him off. “I am your duty. She lost a challenge; her punishment is to be left alone until she comes crawling back. As her Alpha Female, that is my demanded retribution.”
Roarke stood taller, his wolf coming out and making me bow quicker than I ever had before, crumbling under his power. The force had my chest constricting, breath stuck in my throat, my neck bending almost painfully under his dominance.
“You want to make sure she’s not badly hurt,” I accused, gritting my teeth together, fighting not to kneel before him. “What is there between you? What did you do to make her believe so strongly she would stand by your side leading the pack?”
The silence was all I needed to hear, helping me jump to my own conclusions. “If I didn’t agree to be your mate, would you have taken her instead?”
No answer. The power depleted until I could stand straight again, my gaze throwing daggers of my accusation. Guilt had Roarke’s shoulder dropping, and my heart clenched as I teared up again.
“My first assumption was right about you. Go find Brenna. Maybe she’ll let you touch her,” I taunted.
My wolf felt the betrayal deep in her soul. My lips pulled back, growls of betrayal rumbling from my chest.
“Go to our room. Stay there until you have calmed down,” he ordered harshly.
I could not disobey.
“I just hope she pleases you as much as I did,” I hissed as I breezed past him, making sure to slam the door shut and stomp my way to Alpha Roarke’s bedroom, furious he wouldn’t even allow me the privacy of my own room now.
I stormed past Saba and Zale at the bottom of the stairs, feeling their eyes following me.
“Cathwulf!” Saba called, concern lacing her tone. “What’s wrong?”
Wiping quickly at my face, I turned. “Ask your Alpha,” I snarled before stomping my way up the rest of the stairs.
I just reached the door to his room when I heard Zale mutter, “What the hell has he done now? Stubborn male.”
A smile tugged at my lips. At least I knew his Beta couple was aware of what he could be like and I hoped that Saba hadn’t taken my harshness to heart. I would apologise to her the next time we crossed paths; it wasn’t fair of me to talk to either of them that way when my anger was solely for their Alpha.
Pushing open the door, rage exploded from me at the sight of a naked and injured Brenna sitting on Roarke’s bed. Her eyes widened when she saw me, and I took a threatening step towards her.
Every instinct in me told me to rip her apart, but I had not the energy and I knew better. It would cause problems with Roarke, and since I was technically still part of my father’s pack, and she had done no further thing to disrespect me, my attacking her would only end in my punishment. I closed my eyes and took a calming breath that only fanned the flames of rage as the air carried Brenna’s scent to me.
“You have five seconds to remove yourself before I rip your throat open,” I roared, my eyes glowing.
Skin shifted, my wolf pushing forward. Brenna knew she was in trouble; her eyes were wide and shimmering with fear as she cradled a probably broken arm. I was glad she was afraid. It meant our fight hadn’t been for nothing. I had taught her to fear me.
Saba appeared beside me, Zale lingering by the door, having heard my fury.
“I knew Roarke would want to make sure I was okay,” Brenna explained, lifting her chin indignantly, the fear in her eyes the only thing giving away that she was not as confident as she portrayed. Saba snorted; she wasn’t fooled by Brenna either.
I was going to kill her. I would have killed her. This she-wolf refused to learn.
“How dare you come in to y
our Alpha’s room without permission! Especially undressed and after challenging your Alpha Female!” Saba raged, stalking forward, gripping Brenna’s hair and tugging her from the room.
She gasped in pain, looking to Zale for help, but he simply pushed off from the wall where he had been leaning and walked away. This was between the females of the pack only; he had no right to interfere. I knew he would probably tell Alpha Roarke what happened, and I hoped it would make him realise this female wasn’t worth his time or care. When he came to talk to me about it, I would not relent until he allowed me to kick her from the pack.
That would be my final lesson to her.
I relaxed as she was pushed out, Saba giving me a nod that said I will deal with her. I mouthed back a thank you with a look that I hoped showed how grateful I was.
The door was closed, cutting off the sound of Brenna protesting that I was not yet pack, and I was finally left alone. I couldn’t stand Brenna’s scent on Alpha Roarke’s sheets and quickly ripped them from the bed, tossing them out into the hall after her. I’d bring them down to be washed once I had calmed down.
My fingers brushed over the bed to leave my scent as I walked over to the window, still dressed in only Roarke’s shirt. It was then that I realised that I wanted to be the only female allowed in this room, the only female allowed to touch him, the only female allowed to hold his eyes. I gave my reflection in the mirror a determined nod then went to find Oria. I was moving my things into this room. It was time to make my place here completely clear to everyone.
Roarke’s room would be our den.
Chapter Nine
Our Den
Oria and I had packed all my clothes and brought them through to Roarke’s room…our room. Hands on my hips, I eyed the space, deciding what I wanted to change and what I wanted to leave. It was definitely a male’s room, and I would leave my touches just to make it feel a little more like mine. I walked to the built-in wardrobe and opened it up, pushing all Roarke’s clothes to one side so there was room to hang up mine. I left Oria to put my shampoos and soaps in the bathroom.
She kept giving me her I told you so smirk that had me rolling my eyes each time.
“Are you going to put all your sexy lingerie in the drawer with his underwear so he can’t help but notice it?” She giggled, looking for my toothbrush in one of the bags.
I paused, hanging up the shirt in my hands to look at her with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t have any sexy lingerie.”
She gave me a wicked grin. “We should go shopping and get you some.”
I shook my head, hanging up the last of the shirts before folding up jeans and leggings to put in the drawers.
“I don’t want any. I don’t feel the need to tease him. It’d be cruel considering he doesn’t get to touch me that way,” I said firmly.
I ignored Oria’s whispered, “Doesn’t get to touch you that way yet.”
“When the pack goes home, I’ll pack your room up and send your things here…” she trailed off, her shoulders slumping. “It’ll be lonely without you, Cathwulf.”
Guilt had my stomach rolling, and I knelt beside her, pulling her into a hug. I would miss her too, painfully so. But then why did she have to go back…why couldn’t she stay here with me?
“Don’t go. I’ll ask Roarke to have you transferred here with me!” I exclaimed with a grin, sitting back so I could see her face. She didn’t light up like I had expected her too, simply shook her head and fiddled with her fingers.
“Packs don’t trade Omegas, Cathwulf. You know this. Why would he want an extra mouth to feed when I don’t bring anything worthy to the pack?” she objected, sighing. “I wish I were more, but I’m not a female like you. I don’t have it in me to fight for position. I’d end up right at the bottom of the hierarchy here.”
She was right. I knew that, though I’d never say it aloud for fear of hurting her. Changing packs created a shift in dynamics that meant if Oria wanted to eat, she’d have to fight for her right to, but she wouldn’t, couldn’t; she was soft.
“You bring me happiness. When I was being beaten down by the high ranked males in the pack, who was it that helped me back up until I taught them all that I was above them?” I asked, lifting my friend’s head from its bow.
“I did. I told you that you were meant to be Beta when the time came, that one day the pack would bow to you,” she replied, smiling gently. “And now you’re an Alpha Female, so I was right. You didn’t believe me, but I was right, as usual.”
I flashed playful fang at her. “Careful, or I might have to prove you wrong.”
Teasing words and a playful shove of shoulders and my Oria was back to her delightful self. She jumped to her feet, and I followed her.
“Let’s make sure every female in this pack knows this room and their Alpha belong to you,” she declared, picking up my toothbrush and skipping to the bathroom.
I watched in amusement then gasped and stepped back when my eyes met pale green. Roarke stood at the doorway, looking at my clothes in his wardrobe and my book on his table with eyes filled with pleased satisfaction before he spotted his sheetless bed and raised an eyebrow.
“Were they not to your liking?” he asked, moving closer, taking up my space.
I stepped back again.
“The female that I found naked on them was not to my liking,” I bit out, letting him know I wasn’t happy with him.
He hummed and nodded, his fingers moving over the few things that belonged to me cluttering the bed. I bristled at his lack of reaction to my words. Did he not care that I had found Brenna trying yet again to make a claim on him? Oria appeared from the bathroom, and immediately her head ducked down, her eyes on the ground, shoulders hunched.
“Alpha Roarke,” she greeted, her voice quiet and wavering.
His lips peeled back slightly, and I was quick to step in front of her trembling form.
“Oria is my friend,” I told him, my wolf coming to the surface. “She is allowed in here.”
He relaxed, but his voice was still tense and full of his power. “It is nice to meet you. May I have a moment alone with my mate?”
Oria nodded and scampered from the room, not giving me a second glance. I glared at Roarke.
“There was no need to be so cruel to her. She’s already scared enough of males without you giving her your teeth,” I scolded, tugging more clothes from the bag to shove into drawers.
He didn’t reply, just moved around the room, inhaling and exhaling with a soft growl.
“Your scent is everywhere,” he noted, his eyes boring into my back.
“Is that a problem?” I snapped, keeping my back to him, annoyed by his oddly cold demeanour.
“That pup’s scent is everywhere too.”
I paused, looking at him over my shoulder. He watched me with his wolf’s eyes. “Our scents are the only ones that should be in our den.”
I snorted. “Brenna seemed pretty comfortable in here earlier. Is her scent the only exception to that rule?”
“She shouldn’t have been in here. She’s never been in here before. I wouldn’t disrespect my future mate like that. Nobody is allowed in here without my permission, nobody. You are the only exception to that rule.”
I didn’t know if I trusted his words but his eyes held only honesty, and I nodded slowly.
“I accept that, but I still want you to be nicer to Oria. She’s my best friend, and she’s hurting because she will be going back to the pack by herself. I’m her only friend, Roarke. Do not make her too scared to visit me here, because I will never forgive you if I lose her because of your temper,” I warned, holding his eyes.
“I will make an effort to be nice to her,” he promised, bowing his head only slightly, enough that my wolf chuffed her acceptance.
“Thank you.”
I stood awkwardly under his gaze, not sure what to do next. My things were all put away, and there was nothing left to pretend to be occupied with while he was here. Fingers threaded in fron
t of me, my eyes avoiding him. He took a few steps towards me and I stiffened, trying not to step away. That would be conceding to him, and I would not do that. I was his mate; I would stand my ground before him.
His fingers gripped my chin, lifting my head so I was forced to finally look at him, and what I saw stole my breath. Again I was captured in the strange colour of his eyes, falling into their depths until I was sure I could feel his very soul touching mine. His eyes flicked to my lips, and I wet them with my tongue in anticipation. Should I let him kiss me? Did I want him to?
Yes, something whispered by my ear.
He lowered his head until I got a taste of his woodsy scent on my tongue as I breathed in. Heat pooled at my core as he invaded my senses. I pressed my thighs together to relieve the ache. How could he make my body react so strongly with the barest of touches?
“I promised not to let my instincts get the better of me, but you’re making it very difficult, my female,” he whispered seductively by my ear, inhaling my hormones as a finger trailed its way up my side, leaving a path of warm tingles.
My eyes closed of their own accord, my body leaning unconsciously closer to him until I could feel the heat of his body against mine. I wanted him to keep touching me, and I wanted him to move away. Two sides fought against each other’s desires and forgot about needs.
“But I have decided I will not touch you the way I crave, the way I know you’re craving me to touch you right now, until the ceremony tomorrow is complete and you are truly a member of my pack. Then I shall wait until the next full moon, when the Gods are sure to be watching, and I will take you the way a male should take his female,” he vowed, lips brushing the shell of my ear, his words and tone making my body tremble.
A brush of air and he moved away, smirking as he took in my flushed cheeks. His wolf was proud he could garner such a reaction from his mate, taking this as a meaning of my complete acceptance of him because the feral side thought differently. There was no grey area with them, only black and white. I was receptive to his advances and therefore I wanted him; the inner wolf didn’t understand the emotions the skin side had.
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