Would I do it again just to see the fucking look on Nicky’s face? Abso-freaking-lutely.
“Well, you should lock your door,” Liam says, his voice louder. “Besides I’ve seen your tits before. They’re fantastic.”
“I did lock my door, you jerk!” I scramble to pull on the faded black skinny ripped jeans I had in my hands when he just barged in.
“Oh yeah, it was locked.”
“That’s the international sign for you to fucking stay out, knock like a normal human being, then wait to be granted entrance.” I groan, then steamroll out of the closet.
“What’s the use of a key then?”
“That key isn’t even yours,” I snap.
“Whoa,” Liam starts, watching me. “I can see the smoke coming from your ears. Are you mad at me or at yourself?”
I don’t say anything for a minute, walking into my bathroom so I can put my make-up on.
“You can ignore me all you want but I think I hit the nail on the head,” he says, making himself comfortable on my bed.
“You don’t respect people’s boundaries,” I mumble. “That’s your problem.”
He flips onto his back as he laughs, his damn arm in a colorful cast. “Come on, cupcake, I’ve got a million problems, you know that, but none of them get on your nerves as much as the cops coming for you.”
“Yeah well, they didn’t come accusing you of attempting to kill someone, did they?”
“I’ve been accused of a lot of shitty things my whole life, but I never blamed it on someone else.”
I deadpan.
“Is that why you’re here? To bitch about this not being your fault?”
Seriously?
“Well, you’re right, it is our fault, but you’re equally to blame.”
“Excuse moi?”
“Fuck, cupcake, I love it when you speak French to me.”
“Liam!” Oh my God. “What do you want?”
“To talk about you outing your incest lusty affair with the devil right in front of your trashcan mother.”
I almost fall over when he says that.
“You know what, Liam, there’s something fundamentally wrong with you.” I shake my head, ignoring the burn in my cheeks. “And I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Nope, you do.”
“I don’t…” I stutter, not knowing what to say. “I don’t have a crush on Julian.”
“No, you don’t,” he agrees like a good little boy and I frown.
“You agree?”
“Well yeah,” he starts, then sits up looking at me, a light in his eyes. “You fucking burn for the guy!”
“Liam!” I groan. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. “Life’s too fucking messed up for us to be talking about imaginary shit that won’t ever happen.”
“But it did happen in front of everyone!” Liam laughs. “You kissed him, cupcake!”
I know! And he hates me for it!
“It was a hot, steamy, ‘I want to hump you right here, right now’ kind of kiss.”
“Liam, shut up!” I mumble, looking away. “Just shut up about it.” He seems to take pity on me when he stops laughing but I can see the contemplative look on his face.
“Okay, I’ll stop.”
“Thank you.” I sigh in relief, but its short lived, as is anything that has Liam all over it.
“Wait, you have to tell me why first, before we drop it like it’s fucking hot.” He throws his head back and starts laughing. “Did you get that?”
“Liam,” I groan but I can’t help a small smile from my face. Liam just forces you to take all his energy, like he wants you to feel what he’s feeling. And that includes everything. If he’s mad, he wants everyone to feel his anger. When he’s in a pissy mood, it’s the same verdict for everyone around. And when he’s fucking excited, everyone is excited right along with him.
“Come on.”
“Okay, okay.” I shake my head. “What do you want to know, your royal pain in the ass, sir?”
“Why did you kiss him?” he questions, his smile still intact but I can see he really wants to know.
“Liam—” I start but he cuts me off.
“The truth please and thank you.”
“I’m not a liar,” I defend, and he hums, looking at my ceiling.
“You don’t exactly speak the truth either, little miss unpopular.”
Shooting him a nasty look, I flip my hair over my shoulder. “For your own information, Liam, I just wanted to mess with Nicky.”
“Really?”
“I mean, yeah, did you see the look on her face back there?” I almost shudder at the shock I saw on her normally perfectly composed face. “It messed with her pretty good.”
“You know, Mia, if that was your goal, you could’ve kissed me.”
I freeze.
“I was right there, standing next to you,” he watches me with a hooded gaze. “You could’ve saved yourself the trip and just kissed me, but you didn’t. You went to him.”
A heavy silence falls over us, filled with unspoken words and ugly truths.
“Liam,” I start, but I don’t have anything to say.
“Don’t break his heart.”
“What?” I stutter, walking back into my room, my jaw slack. I swear my heart stops beating.
“You heard what I said.” Liam stands up and walks over to me. “You’re gorgeous, stunning, smart, and all that jazz. But he sees you for you, Mia.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You know exactly what I mean,” he counters. “You have a mean streak. You’re rebellious. You have issues, sure, but then, I don’t know, you connect with him on a level that I never thought he had.”
I stand there, feeling so exposed that I don’t even know how to act.
“You know why we’re fucking fighting the Matthews like this?” he questions, looking thoughtful for a moment.
“I don’t know maybe, petty high school rivalry that’s losing traction and validity?”
Liam gasps, clutching his chest, looking outraged. “Uh, the rivalry is valid, cupcake! Your school is trash.”
“So not the issue at hand here,” I say rolling my eyes.
“Oh yeah, right.” Liam says, clearing his throat. “Anyway, about the rival cupcake, you’re right, but wrong at the same time.”
“Okay?”
“See, it all started when those asswiping slobs lost a sister.”
“Sandra?” I frown. “But how’s that any of your fault that she died?”
“Well, because she killed herself a few days after Julian finally snapped and told her to fuck off.”
“What?” I shriek. “They were dating?”
“Absolutely not.” Liam scrunches his face up, looking like he just ate something bitter. “The girl was a stalker. She followed J everywhere for two solid years. She sexually propositioned herself to him.”
Oh my God.
“I think I’m going to be sick.” I can feel the bile rising up my throat. “She killed herself because Julian didn’t want her?”
“Yeah, well, the whole thing was a nauseating experience.” Liam visibly shivers. “And yeah, that’s basically why she killed herself.”
“But I heard she was sick.”
“That’s what they told the damn world.” Liam scoffs. “You think they’d ever own up to that shit?”
“My God,” I whisper. “But if she killed herself, how…”
“Because she did it right in front of Julian.”
“She killed herself in front of him?”
Something in me just dies.
“Yeah.” Liam looks like he’s not even in the room as he talks. “She plunged two sharp knives deep into her neck, cutting arteries and shit, and that was after she had sliced open her wrist before she came to Julian.”
“But he…”
“Tried to stop the bleeding. Called for an ambulance. He and Cole did CPR, they tried everything.
“B
ut she died in their arms.” I whisper brokenly and Liam nods solemnly looking away. I can only imagine what that must’ve done to Julian.
Holy shit.
“Besides all that, I think she had one goal in mind when she sought J out,” he says. “And she succeeded.”
My stomach churns. I feel faint and sick all at the same time.
“What’s that?”
“Make sure that his soul will always be stained with the guilt of her death, like her mental issues were his fault.” Liam shakes his head. “She didn’t just take down J, she took Cole down too, hitting home every single one of his living nightmares.”
I can’t breathe. I can’t even move, frozen in place like my feet have been super glued to the spot. I sense his presence before he pushes open the door. His gaze immediately connects to mine.
“Shit, you heard?” Liam starts, looking at his brother who’s dressed in all black, his forearms exposed and flexing, I can see his veins popping out angrily.
“Get going, Liam.”
“J,” Liam starts, an apology on his tongue but Julian cuts him off. Behind him I can see Cole leaning against the wall opposite my bedroom door, an unreadable look on their faces. They both heard everything.
Cole’s also dressed in all black, from what I can see. So is Liam. Strangely, so am I. You’d have thought we coordinated this shit.
“Mia—”
“She’s with me.”
“I…” I start to protest but I can see that pushing him right now won’t be in my best interests. “See you later Liam.”
“Are you sure?” Liam questions, watching me like he’s trying to make sure I’m making my bed correctly. We both know I’ll be lying in it.
“Yes,” I say, then look at Julian, holding his gaze. “I’m riding with Julian tonight.”
“Cupcake—”
“Just fucking go, Liam.”
Without another word, Liam glances at me then leaves. Passing his brother, a silent conversation passes between them. Liam glances at me one last time then he joins Cole who’s right behind him.
They leaving me shivering and scared shitless, and intensely aware that I’m alone with Julian.
33
Julian stares at me, and for the first time since I’ve met him, I can’t read him. He’s completely closed off, but I know better than to feel like I’m entitled to his feelings. I’m not.
“I don’t have to—” I start but he cuts me off.
“Get your goddamn shoes,” he growls, watching me.
“—go to the party,” I finish instead, like he didn’t say a word.
Like I said the wrong thing, he steps into my room then angrily shuts the door, then flips the lock.
“Julian,” I start, but what am I going to say? Calm down? I didn’t mean to hear how fucked up life’s been for you?
“You’re scared of me right now.”
“What?” I shriek, immediately wincing when I hear the sound of my voice. Gosh, even my voice is giving me away, but I need to be brave. “I’m not scared of you.”
I take a step back when he starts heading in my direction, his face still unreadable.
“There’s nothing about you that screams scary, just FYI,” I mutter, keeping my voice low and certain, not at all how I’m feeling inside.
He follows me, swallowing up the space between us with long strides like he’s a predator. The next thing I know, my back is against the wall and he’s right in front me, blocking me in.
“Your heart’s racing,” he says gruffly, his expression tense, ravenous and so damn hot, I can’t look away.
“You don’t know that,” I whisper, a ripple of excitement running through me when his hooded gaze tracks my movements. But when he stares at me like he’s on the edge of a very thin line, I have this inexplicable need to push him over that edge. “I was trying to get into these pants before you came in, that’s why it’s racing.”
“There’s terror in your eyes.”
“I…” I stutter, but I don’t have anything to say besides, “Something’s in my eye.”
“And you’re a fucking liar,” he growls. “Always have been.”
With a single move, he wraps an arm around my waist. With his hands cupping my ass, he lifts me up like I weigh nothing. I quickly wrap my legs around his waist and hang on for dear life. I can’t look away from him. I feel like I’m in the eye of his storm and if I make one wrong move, I’ll regret it forever.
“You think it’s my fault, don’t you?” he growls in my ear then leans back to look at me. I can see the battle in his eyes. He’s fighting to stay composed.
“Julian,” I groan.
“You think I should’ve loved her back the way she was obsessed with me?” His voice is terse and clipped, the only tell of how much he’s affected right now.
My heart just aches for him, but I know he doesn’t want that from me right now. He’s not a guy you can just have sympathy for. It’s like having sympathy for the devil who’ll burn your most valuable shit in the blink of an eye.
“No,” I whisper, holding his gaze. He presses my back against the wall behind me, then he tugs my top from my shoulder like a starving man.
Holding my gaze, he utters one word…
“Liar.”
Then he’s kissing and biting my neck, leaving a trail of hickeys. Lust, hot, heavy, and intense shoots through my body, going straight to my core.
“You’re a goddamn liar,” he groans, his eyes filled with lust and pain, it steals my breath.
He tugs my hair with his fist, exposing my neck even further, making me stew in my juices caused by my need for him. I squirm in his arms then I feel his hard, thick and heavy erection right there.
He watches the change in me with an impassive eye that makes me even hotter for some reason as I settle my core right over his erection with a moan escaping my lips.
Shamelessly moaning his name in his ear, I pull back and hold his intense stare. My arms wrap around his neck as he teases his hardness at my core. A bolt of pleasure shoots through me. My nipples are hard as diamonds, grazing his chest.
“I don’t lie,” I whisper.
“You’re lying right now.”
There’s no apology in the way he watches me, like he’s already stripping me bare in his head. So, I decide to be honest.
“I’m many things, Julian. I’ve lied a lot, but never to you, whether you believe me or not.” Tentatively, I reach up with my injured hand to palm his face. He groans like he’s in pain at the contact. “You’re not to blame for what happened to that girl.”
He’s silent for a moment. He’s restless as he watches me, like he doesn’t know what to do. So, I grab his jaw and press a kiss there. Then his temple, the tip of his nose, over both his eyelids, trying like all hell to make him feel better. With each kiss he groans, his pain palpable, literally breaking my heart until finally I kiss his lips.
Pulling back, he gruffly mutters my name then presses his forehead on mine, our gazes connected. “But you’re still scared.”
“I’m scared all the time,” I silently admit, feeling brave and scared shitless at the same time as I bare my soul to him.
“Are you scared of me?”
I mutely shake my head but that doesn’t work for him.
“Are you fucking scared of me, Mia?” he demands. “Are you?”
“No,” I groan, the word escaping me like it’s being tortured out of me because the truth is, I am afraid of Julian. I’m afraid of the way he’s making me feel right now. I’m afraid that he’s my ruin. I’m afraid that he’s going to hurt me again. “I’m not scared of you.”
“I don’t want you to be scared of me,” he groans, watching me with a broken look that completely does me in.
“Julian,” I whisper brokenly.
“I never want to see that look in your eyes, Little Minx.”
Shaking my head, I cup his face and kiss his lips. Pressing my back against the wall, he starts kissing me in earnest. I can
hear the sounds I’m making like an echo in the room. My body feels like a live coil, wanton and needy in his arms. One moment I have my shirt on and the next he tears it apart and sucks on my swollen breasts.
Moaning so loud, I press even closer to him, wanting to feel something and everything that he can offer. I ache all over and my pussy is throbbing. I’m breathless and I feel like I might combust if he doesn’t fuck me.
“Fuck me,” I whisper in his ear.
Pulling my hair back, he watches me with a thunderous look on his face.
“You don’t know what you’re aski—” he starts but I cut him off.
“Julian, fuck me.”
I’m at the point where I don’t mind begging. How pathetic is that? I’m so desperate for affection from him that I’m willing to reduce myself and beg him to want me.
With a sexy gruff look on his face, he stares at me long and hard.
“You want me, baby, you’re going to get me.”
“Yes,” I murmur excitedly.
“You’re going to get everything I am,” he says, kissing my neck, biting, and sucking. “Because if I get inside you, if I dick you down, if you take me, Mia, then it means you’re mine.”
I gasp, my heart thundering in my chest.
“You won’t touch anyone else. You won’t kiss anyone else.” He slips a hand in my pants, then cups my slick pussy. “And you fucking won’t give this to anyone else, but me. Always me, Mia.”
I gasp, feeling undone, exhilarated, breathless and so fucking turned on I can’t see straight.
“Are you mine, Little Minx?” he questions. “Because there’s no going back. There’s no fucking running. There’s no lying to my face and kissing me with the same mouth. If you’re mine, Mia, you’ll quit acting like I don’t fucking live in your fucked up soul the same way you took mine in your grasp three years ago.”
Shock and need clog my windpipes. I can’t breathe, but I can’t look away from him either, feeling like this is a moment I won’t get back.
He’s watching me like this moment will determine our lives.
“I’m yours,” I admit, breathless. “I’m so yours.”
The truth is, I’ve been yours since the moment you punched that wall. In the hospital three years ago.
Devious Kisses: A Bully Enemies -To-Lovers Romance (It's Just High School Book 1) Page 39
