Silence fell, and for a moment I debated stepping back out into the rain.
Guillermo sighed. “I’m not feelin’ her. Besides, I think she’s getting back with her ex.”
It was all messed up.
“Do you want to go back?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
“You’re on the other side of town, how were you going to get home. On foot?”
“I don’t know.”
“You gotta be careful, you shouldn’t be walking the streets alone. It’s not safe.” He raked a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Troy should’ve come after you, even just to see you off in an Uber or something.”
It continued to rain. Guillermo was right, I would’ve been a goner out there on my own. It would’ve been smarter of me to request my own Uber instead of walking away.
“Let’s get you home, dimples, it’s been a long night,” Guillermo said after a moment’s pause.
His words warmed me. They were simple and soft, enveloping me in a sense of comfort I had come to find that only he could give.
“Thank you,” I told him. “For helping me.”
“It’s never a problem. I’m beginning to think this is what we do best.”
Because Troy had a habit of running me off. The signs had always been there, I had just chosen to ignore them.
I focused on Guillermo, who looked concerned and genuine. “I wanna give you a nickname, too.”
“Most people call me Memo or Mo,” he told me as he started driving.
No way did I want to be aligned with most people. “Nah, I wanna be different.” I bit into my lip, thinking it over briefly. “How about G?”
He chuckled. “How creative.”
In my pocket my cell phone vibrated with what could only be Troy’s call. I didn’t try to dig it from my pocket to hear his crappy apology. There was no going back, and I was high on the feeling of walking away for good.
“Wanna listen to some music?” Guillermo offered.
He put on some rap song on by DaBaby and I leaned back and listened.
“I hate takin’ the highway, but I want to avoid the storm,” Guillermo said as he aimed his car for the nearest expressway.
As if the universe had other plans, it began to rain harder, the water coming down like bullets on the windshield. It was so thick I could barely see, and if I couldn’t see, I knew Guillermo couldn’t. We weren’t going to make it to an expressway.
“Fuck,” he swore beside me. His jaw clenched tightly as he glared at the road.
It was raining too hard for the windshield wipers to clear the view.
“We gotta get off the road.” Guillermo sat up, doing his best to see through the windshield. “I don’t even see a place to stop.”
A horn blared at us as two headlights whooshed by too close for comfort.
This wasn’t safe.
We’d left the residences behind, and closed businesses lined the streets on either side of us from what I could distinguish.
Pressing my face against the window, I could just make out a lit-up sign in the distance.
“Let’s stop there.” I pointed ahead, and Guillermo did his best to get by without getting hit.
He pulled the car into the lot and found a parking space. Through the rain, I could just see that we’d found a motel.
He leaned against the wheel, staring at the motel and sighing.
I hugged myself, feeling weighed down by my wet clothes.
I hated Ohio weather.
Guillermo looked at me seriously. “You’re shivering. Do you feel comfortable going in there with me?” He studied me carefully, reading me for any signs of a breakdown. “Or we can stay like this in my car.”
My heart fluttered. “Yes, we can go inside. Thanks for asking.”
I looked out the window to hide my foolish smile. It was such a small thing, like before when we’d played pool, but once more, I admired how he’d asked me.
Oddly, I felt safer going into a motel with Guillermo than I would’ve with Troy. Troy never asked; he just went ahead and did what he wanted. It was as if respecting my boundaries was easier for Guillermo.
He returned his attention back out the window. “You ready?”
Ready to run out in the rain? No.
But I agreed anyway and pulled up enough courage to open my car door and get out.
Not only was it raining hard, it was freezing. I didn’t stand in surprise for too long before running alongside Guillermo up to the motel.
We burst inside, where a man sat behind a counter reading the paper and listening to the forecast on TV. He took one look at us and a humorous smile spread across his face.
“Got a little wet, didn’t ya?” he tried to joke. He seemed friendly and nice, and as we came closer, I prayed he was nothing like Norman Bates from those old Psycho movies my mom would watch.
“Yeah, we did. It’s too dangerous to drive in that,” Guillermo said. “How much for a room?”
The man glanced past us outside and shrugged. “Nah, no charge.” He leaned over and grabbed a key card and set it on the counter. “Just don’t trash the place, and you can wait out the storm, got it?”
Guillermo looked back at me, smiling for the first time. “Yeah, we got it.”
There was a set of vending machines in the lobby, and the sight of them reminded me that I hadn’t eaten much tonight. I dug into my pocket, finding loose bills. “Well, since you provided shelter, how about I splurge on a late-night snack?”
Guillermo walked up to examine the vending machines. “Deal.”
The selection offered just about everything to suit any type of sweet or salty craving.
“Pretzels?” I asked.
“Fine by me.” Guillermo pulled his wallet from his jeans. “Thirsty?”
“I could go for a Tahitian Treat.”
I bought the pretzels and Guillermo bought the soda, and together we dipped back out into the rain to find our room.
Even if the walk to No. 2 lasted all of a second, we still got even more soaked.
“Ugh, I can smell my relaxer,” I groaned as we stepped into our room. My hair was ruined.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything,” Guillermo teased as he set the snacks on the dresser.
Embarrassed, I smoothed back my hair as best as I could, trying to perform a miracle on it out of thin air.
Guillermo went into the bathroom, running a hand through his hair, shaking it out as best as he could.
I tore my gaze away and looked around the room. It was nice and cozy, with one bed covered with the typical floral bedding that no one in their right mind would pick out at home. The TV was directly across from the bed, giving us something to do.
Guillermo handed me a towel before rubbing another one over his hair. He looked like a lion by the time he was done, his mane wild and disarrayed. I was tempted to touch it, to see if it was soft. I’d never cared about long hair on guys, but Guillermo was an aesthetic.
He’d been wearing a button-down over a plain white tee, but he’d laid it out to dry as he toweled off as best as he could.
I was probably being creepy just standing there watching him, but I couldn’t turn away.
“So how’s accounting?” he asked as he tossed the towel to the side.
My father wasn’t around, so there was no need to pretend. “Can I swear?”
Guillermo shrugged as he held his hands out in front of the heat register. “You can do whatever you want.”
Of course I could.
Why is the one guy I’m supposed to stay away from the only one I feel comfortable enough to be myself with?
“Accounting’s shit. I was thinking about working with animals. I really like animals, even cats.”
His full lips curled into a smile. “My abuelit
a had a cat down in Mexico, meanest beast alive. Cute, though.”
I loved the sound of his accent when he spoke Spanish and the way he pronounced Mexico. Meh-hee-co.
Working with animals would be a lot more fun and interesting than accounting. I liked animals, and no matter the pay, I thought careers should be chosen based on genuine interest and enjoyment. Life was too short to spend it on work that made you miserable.
“The cat liked Yesi, though,” Guillermo added. “You can’t not like Yesi.”
This was true. “Yesenia’s a great girl.”
He agreed. “Yesenia’s special to us. In some ways, I don’t blame my parents for keeping her from me when I wasn’t at my best.”
“You don’t?”
“Yesenia’s that rare breed of good people, she’s innocent and kind. We just wanna protect her at all costs. It’s kinda like with Avery, that kid has to be protected.”
His words took me by surprise.
I blinked to conceal how I was trying not to cry. I loved that Guillermo saw something in him, something pure like his sister, that he wanted to defend and shield.
My father and Troy could never.
“Hey, you okay?” Guillermo came close.
He studied me and I tried to hide that I was upset. Avery was innocent and good in all the ways that Yesenia was, and instead of embracing it and wanting to save him, my father and Troy judged him for his interests.
“I’m okay,” I told Guillermo.
He could see right through my lie. “No, you’re not. You’re all wet.” He shook his head but offered a smile as he took my towel from me. “Can I?”
I had barely attempted to towel off since we stepped into the room. “Yes, thank you.”
He brought the towel to my hair and rubbed it gently. While he focused on his task, I got lost watching him and all his majesty. He looked so serious and handsome as he concentrated on drying my hair. The way his brows tipped down and how just for a second he bit into his bottom lip.
As I stared, I slowly accepted that I’d had a crush on him for quite a while. Perhaps since the beginning, when I first laid eyes on him after tripping over the trash. Guillermo wasn’t just a cute boy, he was everything—mature, safe, and respectful.
His movements slowed as his dark eyes locked with mine.
My mind began to wander. Those strong arms of his, what would they feel like around me? Holding me? Caging me in, in all his safety?
We were a breath apart and seemed to shift closer and closer.
He was like fire, and I thought if I touched him, I’d get burned, but I didn’t care. Looking at him was like watching scorching hot amber flames dance and sway, hypnotizing with their moves.
I wanted to get burned.
Guillermo froze with his hands in my hair. I shivered as he brought one hand to my cheek and ran his thumb over my skin.
Guillermo.
His lips brushed mine, and all my curiosity and desire brought me on my toes as I leaned in, allowing this moment to finally happen.
Slowly, he pressed closer, kissing me gently and languidly so that my heart burned as my soul set on fire. He cradled my head and tilted it back, going deeper, letting loose all his built-up want for me, too. My hands grasped the material of his shirt, fisting it as I struggled to contain myself.
He pulled away, taking a step back.
“That’s not what I brought you here for,” he let me know, his breathing jagged.
He didn’t have to explain himself to me. Somehow with him, I just knew. “I trust you, Guillermo.”
He shook his head. “We shouldn’t do that.”
Frowning, I didn’t like this idea. “I want to. I wanted to before.”
He stared at me, long and hard, before running a hand down his face. “As much as I would love to, as much as I can admit I think about you way too much, and that there’s something about you, I can’t risk that. We can’t even be friends, not while you’re seein’ Troy. It’s too much like before, and I want us to be us with a fair shot at something—a friendship, more, whatever—without the bullshit of repeating my mistakes.”
He thought about me, more than he should. He liked me. He wanted to kiss me.
But he stopped.
Because he was respecting the risk, because he wasn’t selfish, because he wanted us to be “us” with a fair shot.
It was a lot to process, but of one thing, I was certain. “You’re right.”
“I wasn’t givin’ you an ultimatum,” he was quick to clarify. “I was just sayin’.”
“And I said you’re right. I put up with a lot of stuff that no kid should. I’m a robot, a puppet on a string, my painted smile is wearing off, and I’m so tired. I’m not heartbroken over Troy, because I’m just not that into him. I started dating him in the first place for my dad, just like I studied accounting, and I need to start doing things for me. I felt bad for almost kissing you, and he’d already cheated on me without a second thought.”
Guillermo sat on the bed. “You’ve got some stuff to clear up.”
“I do, but I’m ready now.” Instead of heartbreak, I felt liberated by Troy’s cheating. It hurt, but I was free.
A look at my phone revealed a series of notifications, several from Troy, a few from Malika, and a ton from random classmates who were either concerned or being nosy.
I put my phone facedown on the dresser.
Troy and the universe would have to wait for another day.
“Crazy weather or not, we shouldn’t tell our parents about this,” Guillermo said.
He was right. I was sixteen and in a motel room alone with a boy. I doubted my parents trusted me that much.
“Definitely,” I agreed.
“I really mean it about us not being friends right now,” Guillermo said with a frown. “It’s not you, it’s Troy—he really is a dickhead, and I know he’s going to be an issue if we keep being friendly.”
“I can tell.” Troy had been jealous over Simba. He’d probably be unbearable if Guillermo and I turned into more. Guillermo couldn’t afford that.
“And I don’t want to be a rebound,” he went on. “I know you’re nothing like Tynesha, but I need that to be clear.”
“You would never be a pawn to get back at Troy. You deserve more than that, Guillermo.”
He accepted that. “Take some time and figure it out. Not for me or us, but for you. That’s what’s most important here—what you want.”
What I wanted was freedom, with all aspects of my life.
I sat beside him. “So what now?”
“Now...” Guillermo shrugged. “We’re just a boy and a girl stuck in a motel room, sharing pretzels and soda.”
If only the rain could last forever. “And then we go our separate ways.”
He seemed to blush as he said, “Just think of Bowie.”
I didn’t get the reference. “Huh?”
“David Bowie, he’s got this song called ‘Heroes,’ and he’s talking about how just for one day, we could be a hero. We could be anything. This reminds me of that.”
I needed to listen to that song. “We could be heroes.”
“Yeah, we could.”
We linked hands, entwining our fingers.
Just for one day.
Funny, I had a feeling we both wished it could be for more.
Guillermo
I liked the feeling of her soft hand on my scarred one. Early Saturday morning as I worked at the community center, I reflected on my night with Regan. Last night, where I’d slipped up and crossed the line.
I had been in denial for a while about my growing feelings for her, and all it took was being in too small quarters for me to get caught up. She was no Tynesha—I knew for certain that I wasn’t a pawn to get back at Troy—but staying away was the best thing for both of us at this
point. At least until Regan cleared things up with Troy. Until she was stress free and could make a choice without other grief clouding her head.
Regan should’ve been off my radar, yet somehow she slipped through. I couldn’t explain it if I tried. My heart raced when I was around her, and for some damn reason I didn’t want to look like a complete idiot. With Regan London, I was always trying to be nonchalant and cool. Ever since she first set eyes on me and I was wearing my yellow Respect tee. The same T-shirt I was wearing as I cleaned windows Saturday morning.
Together Regan and I had stayed at the Keep Inn Company Motel for a good hour while we waited for the storm to pass. My biggest concern had been making sure she was comfortable. We were alone, and the last thing I wanted was for her to think I was going to try anything.
Before, with other girls, I’d known what they wanted from me. Now, with Regan, I could read that she was unsure, and I didn’t want to pressure her into anything she wasn’t fully in the mood for. Had I wanted to mess around with her then and there? Hell yeah, but the circumstances were chaotic and I wanted a fair shot. I was curious about this girl and I didn’t want there to be any bullshit lingering—and Troy was still very much lingering, as her phone had kept lighting up with notifications.
Once it was clear that this was the final time we’d hang out, we piled onto the bed, eating the pretzels and drinking the soda as we caught an episode of Law & Order: SVU.
“Thank you,” Regan had said to me after a while.
“For what?”
She focused on the bedding. “For being there for Avery. It really means a lot to me.”
When I’d mentioned that Avery needed to be protected, she’d looked as if she were about to cry. Avery vented to me about a lot of things, so I could understand Regan’s concern.
“No problem.” I placed my hand over hers. “I got his back.”
The real Regan was vulnerable, shy, and eager to live her own life. Accounting and Troy weren’t cutting it. She deserved more.
I should’ve minded my own business, but I wanted to see Regan excel at what she enjoyed. I wanted to see her smile—the real one, not the phony one that didn’t reach her eyes whenever she hung around the varsity jackets at school or when she was running the front desk at the center. I liked the one I saw when we played pool and she sucked, or when I brought Simba back to her. It had been like watching the sun rise on her face. She’d opened the door all sullen and tired, and then she noticed him and she brightened into a whole new person.
The Right Side of Reckless Page 26
