by Kathy Bosman
***
A few minutes later, Ross sat inside his car on the driveway of his house. His legs didn’t want to budge and neither did he feel like facing the empty dwelling again. Why had he bought a house?
Why couldn’t he tell Ella he loved her?
For the last few weeks, every time he’d gone over to her place, he’d planned to let it out, but each time, something happened to sway him. He clammed up and lost his nerve. Today had been the absolute worst. He’d planned to go there to tell her he loved her but instead had climbed into her about her new business and dream. Yeah, he was wary of it. What if things didn’t go how she planned and she got deeply disappointed? Again. She’d had so many nasty relationships with guys, and her job hadn’t been the nicest place for her all the time, plus she’d had some fallouts with her friends. Thankfully, the three close friends seemed to stick with her no matter what. Sometimes, he got jealous of how religiously she made time for them while he seemed to be the one making time for Ross and Ella. Not that she saw it that way.
And his plans to spill the beans today had gone horribly wrong when that funny book had lit up like a Christmas tree and shaken the desk like some weird machine from an H.G. Wells story. What was she playing with? Would it bite her back if she didn’t do it right?
He buried his pounding temples into his palms. And suddenly, she didn’t take his advice anymore as if she’d come into her own and didn’t need him. It made her incredibly attractive to him when she showed some spunk, but it didn’t help their relationship status. What if she became too independent and she didn’t need him around anymore? Would their friendship be strong enough to hold then?
When had it all changed? They’d been friends for years. He’d even confided all his relationship woes to her since high school. Sometimes, they’d gone for months without seeing one another, but whenever she’d needed help with maintenance in her home, or advice, she’d called. Or when he’d just suffered a complex break-up. None of his girlfriends had ever been threatened by her—they’d somehow known the relationship had stood at rock-solid friendship.
Until two months ago when she’d come over to his place one night, bored out of her mind and missing her friends who were too busy for girl’s night. She’d worn short shorts that barely covered her thighs and he’d teased her about something. She’d tickled him so he’d tickled her back. Then he’d held her hands in a one-handed firm grasp and tickled her legs with the other hand. The soft skin on her thighs had sent a swirl of erotic sensations through him that he’d never have expected to have with Ella. Why, they’d decided years ago they were too familiar with one another to pursue romance. They would probably either kill each other or get bored sick. Romance had to be exciting, thrilling, mysterious. It would feel like she was romancing her older brother, Ella had said.
And he’d agreed with her then because he’d been deeply infatuated with Celine Morse at the time.
He’d pulled her close and nearly kissed her, but the disgusted look on her face had made him drop all contact with her. She’d run through to the kitchen to get some space, but the rest of the night, he’d fantasized about kissing her and doing a whole lot more.
Then it had occurred to him, slowly at first, but then in a whirlwind of frantic thoughts—he loved her. Had actually loved her for years but had been too much of a dimwit to realise it. He’d gone out with all the other women as a way to distract himself from the attraction he felt for Ella. He’d put it down to friendship feelings, although contact with her had always put him in a strange mood.
Now, she consumed his thoughts. He wanted to spend every spare moment with her, but until he could tell her, he had to pretend they still had the same comfortable friendship as before.
He’d nearly decided to ignore his feelings and leave ‘well enough’ alone, but he’d thought long and hard about the woman he loved. He could be there for her forever, keep her safe from dysfunctional relationships, be the guy she’d wanted all these years. It was a good thing. He just needed to convince her of the fact.
Easier said than done.
Something held him back. Maybe he feared she’d push him away totally.
Could he hope that her feelings would grow over time? He did, but his patience was wearing thin. He couldn’t bear to be close to her much longer without touching her, kissing her, and taking her into his arms.
But even worse, he couldn’t withdraw from her.
A car drove up his driveway and stopped behind him. He frowned. Who could that be? The man behind the driver’s seat appeared business-like with his tie and dress shirt. A salesman?
He got out and walked to Ross’s window.
“I’m looking for Exact Match.”
He gaped at the man, unable to say anything. He’d come to his place instead of Ella’s. Yeah, they lived in parallel roads and had the same road number, but still. The chances…
“Take the previous road and it’s the same number. You must have come one road too far from the main road.”
“Oh, great. Thought I’d gone totally off track.”
Ross nodded and clenched his fists. The guy sped off in his fancy Cleo, and he frowned. Ella would have single guys stopping by her place all the time now! Not a good idea.
He reversed his car back out. Time to return to her and nip this whole business idea in the bud.
The grassy bank outside Ella’s house had become a parking lot. Seven cars parked on the side and the front yard opposite her home. What would the neighbours think? Had she checked about business zoning in her area? His head throbbed with all the concerns he nursed for her and her impulsive ideas.
Problem was, Ella wasn’t the impulsive type. That’s what troubled him about the whole thing. She believed in some magic—this funny book—and seemed to be basing her whole life on it.
He stormed to the front door which stood wide open in a high crime city and found himself surrounded by people in her living room. How long had he spent on his driveway dreaming about Ella? How had this happened so fast?
He spotted Carol in the corner, dressed in a business suit and taking someone’s details down on a clipboard with professional poise.
“Where’s Ella?” he asked her.
Carol blinked at him. She pointed her pen at the door of the conservatory. “In there. With a client.”
“What’s going on?”
“We got busy.” Carol grinned.
He stepped back a moment to take in the totally new expression on Ella’s friend’s face. Carol almost always looked tired of life. Now, her face shone.
Pauline sat on the couch surrounded by people. She didn’t seem flustered at all. Quiet, timid, reserved Pauline.
Huh?
Andrea stood by the door, welcoming people in, barking orders. Okay, not everything had changed.
He stood around, not sure what to do. He couldn’t interrupt Ella with a client. In fact, all these eager people hoped she could help them. Who was he to interfere in their quest?
“Tell her I’ll see her later,” he said to Andrea as he walked out.
“Wait.” She called to him, almost running out with him to his car. “Don’t go. Ella thought it would be good to have you around, too.”
“What?” At least he could be close to her, but be part of the madness?
“She thinks it’s better if she doesn’t look single.”
“She does?” If he played the fake boyfriend card, it would keep guys at a distance—like the yuppy Cleo one who’d stopped by his home. The last thing he needed was one of her clients wanting to pair off with her.
And he could make sure no stalkers visited her—watch her safety. It just meant his weekends and home maintenance plan would disappear off the horizon.
“You talking long term?”
Andrea shrugged. “Maybe until the business is established. Don’t know. Talk to El. She mentioned it.”
“Oh.”
As much as he wished to disappear, it didn’t seem possible right now. A sud
den yawn took over as he made his way back inside and slumped on an empty seat. This sure was going to be a long day and night. He peered at his watch. Three-thirty. What time would she even close?
Did he want to be used? As a type of prop or advertisement for her business?
His life had drastically changed from four hours ago when he’d first read the advert in the newspaper.
As he sat there, watching the madness, his discomfort grew. Nope, he couldn’t stay here and be a part of this fiasco. Ella had taken this huge risk where she hadn’t considered the consequences. All these people depended on her amateur advice. Some book inside played out like a magical slide show before her. And her friends dug for a piece of the cake, too. They’d probably played a big part in her decision.
And now he must be a part of the circus?
Could he reconcile this new tangent of Ella’s life with his own? He loved her, but…
Maybe pure friendship had been better. Safer. He didn’t have to get so emotionally involved and invested in every detail of her existence. If her life became a mess, he could merely comfort her and be a shoulder to cry on. Not stress and wonder what he should have done to prevent it. Nah, too much responsibility came with love.
He wouldn’t tell her he loved her. Not now. Maybe not ever. Could it ever work?
The door opened and Ella stepped out the room with a woman in her arms. The blonde had puffy, red eyes—had probably been crying—and she gave Ella a huge hug like they were long-lost friends.
Ella said goodbye to her and looked around her. A frown formed on her face, probably at the population dynamics within her tiny living space. When her gaze rested upon Ross, she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Or had he only imagined it?
“Ross, you made it back. I didn’t even have a chance to ask for your help.”
“I… What do you need?”
“Well, I don’t know. The girls seemed to have everything covered. My next appointment is in five minutes.” She pointed at the Cleo man. Argh. “It worked, Ross. The Album showed Danni that the guy she likes at work is perfect for her.”
“Oh.” A queasy sensation swirled in his gut.
“You don’t believe it, do you?” she whispered to him, sending unwanted arousal through him.
“How can I? It’s not based on any evidence or clinical trials.”
“Why do you have to be so scientific? What about instincts? Magic? Changed lives?”
“And long term results?”
“I gotta run. You can be the coffee man.”
His body stiffened.
She turned to him again, the frown back on her face. “You don’t have to stay, Ross. I can see you don’t approve. No pressure, hey.”
She shrugged, seemingly unperturbed by his lack of support.
“I—”
“Just go.”
She waved him away, her voice light and breezy. Where had she received this sudden boost of confidence? This light-heartedness from? He liked to see her happy, but he didn’t think he could handle being around when the bubble burst this time. When she went bankrupt or got a bad reputation in the city. Or when her friends blamed her when clients came back unsatisfied.
Was he a loser? Maybe his love wasn’t as strong as he’d have hoped. He walked out, weaving his way through the chatter and bodies. The drive home only worked to build up the questions and concerns.
