Two days ago, when I had my little episode, I was supposed to work. Thankfully, Beau covered for me, and I returned to work the next day. Today is Friday, and it’s going to be a madhouse at the bar. I decide on a pair of pleather leggings to go with my white crop Colt 45 t-shirt. It wasn’t a crop top when I got it, but it’s much cuter as one now. Since my meltdown, I’ve felt a little funky, and I’m trying to get out of it, so I put a little extra effort into my makeup and hair tonight. Leaving it down in long large curls and even apply a layer of bright red lipstick. My lips are pretty decently plump, so lipstick is one of my favorite accessories. Last but not least, I slip on the silver chain with my mother’s heart pendant on it. I need the reminder to be strong and not give in.
Though I can’t really give in since Nix took all my pills. I haven’t spoken to him about that again since that night. It’s probably better that he has them. I don’t know what he did with them, and I really don’t care.
Once downstairs, I see Nix in the den gathering things from his desk and the shelf nearby.
“Good morning,” I call out to him. He freezes mid-step and looks up at me wide-eyed.
“Good morning.” After a brief pause, he continues what he was doing, sliding a notebook into a messenger bag.
“Did you sleep well?” I try to make conversation.
“Yes.” Well, that’s not helpful. So, I try again.
“Do you have a lot of appointments at the shop today?”
“Yup.”
“Will you be coming by the bar later tonight?” I try not to let on that I’m eager for him to be there.
“Probably.” He’s not rude per se, but he’s really not trying here either.
“Did you have a brain aneurism?” My question forces him to stop moving again.
“Excuse me?”
“You can’t seem to form a sentence containing more than two words. So, I thought perhaps you had an aneurism causing some sort of mental retardation.” I give him a sweet smile. Finally, he returns it, and with a big sly grin, he responds in typical Nix fashion.
“Nope.”
He may not be saying much, but he’s smiling, even though he’s trying to hide it, as he walks by me, heading for the front door.
“See you later, Nix,” I call to his back. He doesn’t stop, but I can see the slight turn in his head as he looks back over his shoulder at me before leaving the house.
Later at the bar, while getting set up for the evening, I wait till I’m alone with Rosie stacking glasses. I need to tell her about the kiss. She’s literally my best friend now, and I need to talk to someone about it. Preferably a female and one that knows Nix could be beneficial.
“So, something happened the other night that I’m a little confused about and was hoping you could maybe help shed a little light on it.” I have thoroughly intrigued Rosie, and she instantly stops stacking glasses and turns to me.
“Spill girl. I knew something had to have happened the other night when Beau filled in for you.”
Here goes nothing.
“Well, it kinda involves Nix.”
“That’s obviously a given.” She rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders. Like, I really didn’t need to tell her that because it’s a given.
“Okay. Well, he sorta, kinda, might have kissed me.” I practically mumble the last two words in unintelligible garble.
“What?!” She practically screams in my face. “He kissed you?” She whisper-screams at me, looking far too happy about it.
“Yeah. And it wasn’t a peck on the cheek. It was intense.” My face has to be blushing bright red as I remember what it felt like for him to press his deceivingly soft lips against mine. To taste his tongue on mine.
“Where? How? Why?” With every word, she steps closer to me until she’s right in my face. I take a step back so I can breathe.
“At the house in the den. With his mouth on my mouth and I have no idea why. That’s what I need you for.”
“Oh my god. You have to tell me everything.” Pulling me to the other side of the bar, she forces me to sit at a table in the corner. I give her the cliff notes version of the evening since we’re supposed to be working. At the end of it, her mouth is slack-jawed and gaping at me.
“So? What do you think?”
“Well, first off, why didn’t you tell me about your past addiction? You know I wouldn’t judge you. I love you, honey.” Pulling me in close, she gives me a quick squeeze before releasing me.
“Because I’m not proud of it, and I just want it to stay in my past. It hasn’t been an issue for months. I thought I was over it. Guess I was wrong. I’m still weak and went right back to it.”
“You are not weak. You are one of the strongest women I have ever met. And don’t you ever think otherwise.” Rosie’s hands are still on my shoulders, holding on tight, and I can feel her trying to will her strength into me.
“Thanks, Rosie. I don’t know if I agree with you, but I appreciate it.”
“You better believe it, honey, or I’m gonna have to make you prove yourself wrong.”
“Is that right?”
“You bet your sweet cheeks it is.” She winks at me, using the nickname I told her Nix calls me. I have a feeling that’s not going to go away anytime soon.
“I don’t really want to talk about my addiction. I have a sponsor I’m going to call to talk it out. What I need from you is input on your confusing cousin.”
Rosie pauses for a moment, thinking about the other half of my story. The important half, at least at the moment. Tapping her finger to her chin as she leans on the table across from me.
“I don’t know what to think. He’s never acted like that with any girl I’ve ever seen him with before.”
“Well, that’s helpful,” I grumble as I bury my face in my hands.
“No, this is a good thing.” She shakes my shoulder gently, encouraging me.
“It is?” Peeking through my fingers, I see her slack jaw close and turn into a wicked smile.
“What do you know that I don’t?” I ask perceptively.
“Nix is not romantic. He’s literally the opposite: crude and crass. He may be slick with the ladies, but he’s never been sweet to them for real. I’ve seen him let a woman stick her hand down his pants and jerk him off in the corner of the bar before without ever touching her lips to his.”
I wince. She notices and cringes.
“Sorry, sometimes I don’t think before I speak.”
“That’s okay. I know he’s a man-whore. I don’t know why it surprises me.”
“Still, I can tell you like him, and I shouldn’t have said it.”
Dammit. How can she tell? Am I that freaking obvious? If she knew, why didn’t she bring it up to me before now? Probably because she knows how her cousin is and didn’t want to freak me out. Like she just did.
“Look, Clover,” She forces me to look at her. “Nix was a man-whore. I told you before, he’s different with you. You’re obviously special to him.”
Special? I’m special to Nix? That can’t be right. He’s probably just playing the long game. Making me want him so badly, I come to him. Or maybe Rosie is right. My heart thumps faster at the idea of being special to him.
“How so? He doesn’t treat me special.”
“Oh yes, he does. I’ve never seen him act like that around another woman. Just watch. You’ll see.”
“I think you’re crazy, Rosie. He must have just been trying to make me feel better, like he said. It didn’t mean anything.” I try to convince myself it’s the truth. Because if I allow my heart to hope, it’ll only get broken that much more in the end.
“If it didn’t mean anything, then why did you ask me for advice?”
I don’t get to answer her because Beau and the bar back yell at us to get off our asses and get back to work. Could she be right? I don’t know. Talking to Rosie has got my hopes up, but it’s also confused me even more. Her reaction to his behavior is not what I thought it would be and only
made me second guess everything all over again.
As predicted, the bar is packed, and it keeps my attention off of Nix and his kiss. It feels nice to be in the moment and working behind the bar. I feel comfortable and whole, if that makes any sense. Beau once told me that he thought I belonged here, and I’m starting to think he’s right.
Chapter 24
Phoenix
“Y
ou did what?” My cousin Arrow sits on the rolling stool across from me in my tattoo shop with bright blue, his eyes practically bugging out of his skull.
“I kissed her,” I repeat. I need to tell someone, and Magnus is on an assignment. Arrow is a horrible gossip, but if I threaten him enough, he won’t talk.
“You kissed your smokin’ hot roommate that you’ve been pining over for weeks?”
“I haven’t been pining over her. And how do you know she’s hot?” Has he been scoping her out at the bar? Instinctually my arms flex. I have no problem decking him if he’s been watching her.
“Rosie showed me a picture of her.” He grins wide, his perfectly straight teeth glaring at me. “Nice tits on that one. I can see why you want her.”
“Watch it,” I growl out.
“Okay, okay, down, boy. I’m not gonna go after your woman.”
“She’s not my woman.” The words taste like a lie on my tongue. I want her to be my woman. That realization scares me. I don’t know what the fuck to do with that information.
“Why not? She’s gorgeous, obviously wants your big dumb cock for some reason. You live with her, and from the throbbing vein in your neck, I’m pretty sure you’ll cut out the eyes of any fucker who even looks at her.”
Dammit. Why couldn’t I just wait till Magnus got back? This was a bad idea to tell Arrow—boy can’t find commonsense in a commonsense store.
“I didn’t tell you so you could hound me. I just don’t know what the hell to do now.”
“Uh, that’s kind of obvious, isn’t it?”
“Apparently not.” He’s starting to get on my nerves, and if he doesn’t say something useful in the next ten seconds, I’m gonna literally kick him in the face. I don’t need any more of his ridiculous back asswads explanations.
“Go after her, man. She wants you. You want her. What’s stopping you? You never hesitate to go after a woman you want.”
For once, he’s actually right. I don’t. I always get what I want. But with Clover, what I want is so much more than just sex. That’s never happened before, and I don’t know how to deal with it.
“We’re roommates, and she works for Pop. That’s what’s fucking stopping me. I don’t want to mess things up at the bar. And I don’t want to make things weird with Clover.”
It’s strange how much I think about this woman and how she would affect my life if we get involved. There’s so much I want to do to her—with her—yet. I also don’t want to hurt her. I’m not the boyfriend type and have no idea how to treat a woman in a relationship. Knowing my stupid ass, I’d probably cheat on her the first chance I get and break her heart.
Just thinking about cheating on Clover in an imaginary relationship makes my stomach turn on itself. I can’t do that to her. All I want to do is make her happy. She wouldn’t be happy with me, not in the long term. I’m not good enough for her. I should just leave her be. Kissing her was a mistake, but I was weak. She was so strong for everything she went through, and I just wanted to make her feel wanted. She doesn’t realize how much beauty she possesses, and I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to stop. Kissing her set everything in me on fire, places deep down inside me that I didn’t even think existed.
Placing his hands on the counter behind him, the colors of his fully inked arms glowing under the fluorescent lighting. Arrow notices my silence and actually says something not completely idiotic.
“If you feel something real for this girl, you need to let her know. You have to let her decide if you’re worth her time. It shouldn’t matter where she lives or who she works for. If you’re drawn to her, be drawn to her. Don’t question it so much.”
Wow. Who knew Arrow had a deep, sensitive side underneath all the ink and hair gel? Could he be right, though? Magnus told me the same thing. Is there something they know that I don’t? And how did Arrow become the one I go to for advice on women?
“You’re the one who has to make the decision and make a move. If you wait too long, someone’s gonna come along and snatch her up.” He winks at me. Oh no, he did not just threaten to hit on Clover.
“You touch her, and you answer to me. Got it, fucker?” I grit out between clenched teeth.
“Sure thing, boss.” He laughs, running his fingers through his perfectly coiffed hair. He checks the clock on the wall. “Anyway, your next appointment is going to be here any minute.” Standing, he returns the stool to the other side of the room by the counter.
“Thanks, man.” I offer him a curt nod, and he grins widely in response.
“Any time, boss.”
Hours later, I find myself sitting at the bar staring at Clover as she serves the mass of people here tonight. Arrow has followed me out tonight. He’s all smiles and laughter, stylishly dressed, as usual, checking out every available woman in the bar. Only one woman captures my attention. She’s currently reaching up to grab a bottle off the second shelf. Her already short crop top rides up enough that I can see the bottom edges of her white lace bra underneath, hugging the swell of her breast. And, what the fuck is that? Is that another tattoo? From the brief glimpse I get from across the bar, it looks like more flowers and vines are creating a matching under-bust sternum tattoo.
She’s been keeping that a secret from me. Now I need to figure out how to get her to show it to me. Maybe convince her to sunbathe by the pool while I swim. Naked.
We haven’t really been able to talk much other than to order our drinks and introduce Arrow to her. It’s so busy in here we can’t really do much more. While I’m sitting enjoying my beer and the view, a woman approaches me and takes advantage of the crowded area to press her breasts up against my arm. They’re nice, but way too big. They’re spilling out of her form-fitting dress as she talks.
“Hey there. You alone tonight?” She tries to whisper-moan in my ear in her trailer trash southern accent, but it doesn’t work. Does this girl really think she’s going to get any kind of respect from anyone acting like that?
“No,” I respond with as little interest as possible, hoping she’ll get the hint and leave.
“No? I’ve been watching you, and I haven’t seen you with anyone.” Jesus, she’s not going to take the hint, is she? I literally said no to her, and she’s still here. I turn to her to make my position very clear.
“I’m not fucking interested. Remove your goddamn tits from my space and find someone else to latch on to.” I’m not nice about it, but I don’t care. I don’t want her. She can go find her free drinks somewhere else. As I turn back to the bar after the busty woman pouts and stomps away, I see the very last person I want to see sitting at the bar speaking to Clover.
He’s leaning in and smiling broadly at her, and fuck me, she’s smiling back. Wasn’t I clear when I told her about the Shaw’s? Why the hell is she being so flirty with him? Braxton fucking Shaw is in my bar, talking to my girl, and I’m about to reach the very end of my rope.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” I ask Arrow.
“He’s in town on business. Got a meeting with your Pop about some Syndicate shit.” At times like these, I appreciate the fact that Arrow stays well informed on everybody and what they’re up to. His gossip girl tendencies coming in handy for something.
“Bastard is always a thorn in my dick.”
“Uh oh. Looks like he’s got his sights set on Clover.”
Wrong thing to say, Arrow. Because it pushes me over the edge, and my stool falls back as I abruptly stand. Leaving Arrow, I make my way to the place Braxton’s perched down the bar. By the time I make it to him, he has a glass in hand and is sip
ping.
“Phoenix. How nice to see you again.” His shit-eating grin only widens as I approach.
“Braxton. Didn’t know you were in town.”
“Just got in. Thought I’d stop in for a drink and to say hello to my friend.”
“You don’t have any friends here,” I growl out. If he makes one move on Clover, he’ll regret it.
“Yes, I do. I met your new bartender last time I was in town, and we got to chatting.”
“Is that so?”
“It is.” I can’t help but flex and fist my hands. I want to punch that sly grin right off his smug ass face. But he knows I won’t do anything without provocation.
“How long are you in town for?” I ask tightly.
“Who knows. I have some things to attend to, but I might extend my stay. I rather like all the new fresh faces around here. Much better than the old ones.” He takes another sip of his drink, and I want to shatter it and shove the broken pieces straight down his throat and carve out his eyes with them.
“I wouldn’t get too comfortable if I were you.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not me then.”
“If you so much as think about touching her,” I begin my threat, but the arrogant ass interrupts me.
“Touch who?”
He’s playing coy. Fucking asshole.
“Clover.”
“Your bartender? Now, why would you care so much about a bartender? She means nothing to you.”
A protective impulse surges through me. I straighten to my full height, towering over him as he sits on his stool. I’m sure he can see the vein in my neck bulging because I am clenching so hard, trying not to break his neck right here and now.
“Or maybe she does. Does she belong to you, Phoenix?” He raises a manicured eyebrow at me. I can’t reply because officially she doesn’t, but to me, she is already mine.
“I didn’t think so. So, she’s free game then.”
Phoenix (The Colton Cousins Book 1) Page 17
