by Lynn, K. I.
“Sounds like you’ve thought a lot about it,” I said, making sure I took mental note of the things she mentioned. Maybe one day we could move into the suburbs of Chicago. The commute would be hell, but I wanted to give her that dream.
“Not exactly, but I’ve kept a mental list of wishes. One day.” She placed her hand on her bump and began brushing her hand up and down.
One day, indeed. I would make sure of it.
When Richard asked if there was anything I wanted to do over the weekend, there was one thing I desperately needed to do. Between work and baby naps, I’d been able to accomplish zilch in the shopping department, and didn’t have many clothes that could fit anymore. Baby Bump Bennett was getting bigger every week, and I was down to dresses and yoga pants.
“This store is the devil,” I said to Richard as we walked through the automatic doors.
“Why is that?” he asked, his brow furrowed. “They’re one of the largest retailers in the country.”
“Because you go in for one five-dollar item and come out with nearly two hundred dollars’ worth of stuff.”
He shook his head. “That’s called a lack of self-control.”
“Uh-huh, just watch.”
I grabbed a cart and perused the dollar bin section as we walked past. There were a few things I needed, and I made a straight line for the undergarments section. Richard’s eyes popped wide when I stopped in an aisle full of bras.
“Let me buy you lingerie from somewhere better than this,” he whispered in my ear.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “You do that, then, but I’m looking for everyday wear. My breasts keep growing—”
“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Richard interrupted me with a smirk.
“Anyway, I need a couple new bras.” A couple bralettes caught my eye and I immediately searched for a few I liked, then threw them in the basket. Those would be great. Less restrictive and still giving me some support. While probably not office attire, they would be comfortable outside of work. Thankfully, the tenderness had gotten better.
We moved to the maternity section, and I scoured the rack for work-appropriate clothes. I could still wear some stuff, but anything with a button closure was a no-go. Shirts, sweaters, dresses, jeans—it all went into the cart. At least the weather was starting to warm so I didn’t need to add a coat to the list.
“You aren’t going to try any of that on?” Richard asked as we stepped back into the walkway and away from the dressing room.
“No.”
“Why not?”
I leaned in closer, double checking there was nobody in earshot before whispering. “Because if I go in there, you’ll want to follow me, and I just know seconds after you’d have your cock inside me.”
A groan left him, and he stepped behind me. His lips ghosted my ear as his hips pressed into mine. “Who, me? I would never.”
I bent my neck to give him better access. “Sure you wouldn’t. Just like you would never do such a thing in a restaurant bathroom or at a huge New Year’s Eve party in front of a window.”
“Wasn’t me.”
A giggle left me. This was the version of him I loved. He was playful and sweet and caring. “Well, if it wasn’t you, I don’t know whose baby this is.”
“Oh, that baby’s mine.” He nipped at my neck, his hand laying protectively over my bump.
“You are such an exhibitionist.”
“Says the woman who had me fuck her in front of a window with no shade.”
The baby section caught my eye, and I veered toward it.
“And look at the trouble that got me in,” I said jokingly as I pointed down to my stomach.
Richard placed his hands on my stomach and squatted down. “Shh, Mommy doesn’t mean it like that. You’re not going to be trouble at all, are you, my angel?”
I smiled and shook my head, then looked at all the stuff in the aisle. There were so many…things. None of my close friends had kids, and I hadn’t babysat an actual baby in well over a decade, so my knowledge of what most of it was equated to near nothing. Instead, I moved past all the various items into something I did know—clothes.
“Aww,” I squealed and pulled a onesie from the rack. “Look.”
“Mommy’s dapper dude,” Richard read it off. He chuckled, then pulled another from the rack. “Or the more accurate, ‘Daddy’s little princess.’”
A giggle left me. “You’re too much.”
“I’m just saying.”
“And so am I.”
“Nat?” someone called.
I turned to find my brother’s wife standing a few feet behind me at the end of the row. “Hannah!” I stepped over and threw my arms around her. “How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you?”
“Doing great.”
Her eyes glanced over to Richard, and I took his hand. “Richard, this is my sister-in-law Hannah. Hannah, this is my boyfriend, Richard.”
“Ah, so you’re the infamous Richard I’ve heard so much about.”
Richard held out his hand. “All good, I hope.”
“Eh, just how you got my little sis knocked up on what I’m guessing was a first date.”
“Carson!” I cried out. He appeared suddenly beside me. “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Is it true?” Hannah asked.
The blood rushed to my face, and I looked from Carson to Richard. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, come on.” Carson rolled his eyes and held out his hand for Richard. “It was a nice save.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Richard said in his most diplomatic tone.
“Little Natty isn’t the only observant one. She got flustered, but you saved it.”
“Do you think anyone else caught it?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nah, but it was just the timeline that was off, right?”
I nodded. “We met on New Year’s Eve, and I found out he was my boss on Valentine’s Day. And if you tell Mom or Dad or Wyatt, I will hurt you so bad.”
He held his hands up. “Not me, I swear.”
“Why not Wyatt?” Richard asked.
Hannah laughed hard in response. “Oh, sorry. You don’t know him very well yet, but Wyatt can’t keep a secret for anything.”
Carson leaned in closer. “He finally asked her out.”
“No,” I said in wide-eyed shock.
“If he’s a professional baseball player, doesn’t he have the confidence to talk to a woman?” Richard asked.
I shook my head. “Women? Yes. One that he has interest in for more than sex? He’s a complete disaster.”
“Girls he likes turn him into this shy, introverted nerd that has never gotten laid,” Carson elaborated in a way only a brother could.
“Once he has them, though, he’s back to normal,” I added.
“So are you here to baby shop?” Hannah grinned at me, eyeing my bump.
I returned the bump eyeing. “You?”
“Yes, but I’m seriously about to break into this box of cookies.”
I stared down at the box in her hand. “If you do, you better share.”
She giggled and broke open the box, pulled out a sleeve, then handed the box to Carson. “Babe, go pay for this.”
“And get me a water!” I called after him.
Hannah’s eyes lit up. “And a Diet Coke!”
“Rick? Anything while I’m being an errand boy?” Carson asked as he walked backward away from us.
Richard waved him off. “I’m fine, thanks.”
“How are you feeling?” Hannah asked as she bit into her second cookie.
“Better,” I said with a relieved sigh. “I literally fell asleep at work the other week and didn’t wake until my head slipped and slammed into the desk.”
“Ouch. You didn’t tell me that,” Richard said before leaning forward and pressing his lips to my forehead.
“Yeah, tell my boss I fell asleep at my desk,” I said with a jab o
f my elbow. “It was more out of embarrassment.”
“And the vomit. A whole week without throwing up, thank you,” Hannah said in a reverent tone.
“I lucked out there. My morning sickness was mild, so it was only a couple times a week.”
Carson returned with our drinks and the rest of the box of cookies, which was good because Hannah and I had nearly polished off the first sleeve.
Richard’s phone went off, and he pulled it from his jacket. He grimaced as he looked at the screen. “I’ll be right back,” he said before stepping away.
And Mr. VP was back. I let out a sigh, praying to the heavens his good mood would still be there when he returned.
“He’s handsome,” Hannah said with a wink.
“Oh, trust me, I am well aware.” I turned and eyed his backside. His very muscular backside.
“How’s it going with you two?” Hannah asked, drawing my attention and handing over another cookie. “Must have been a shocker to him, but he seems excited.”
“Things are great. Work is getting busy, hence the phone call. And he has been nothing but happy about the baby.”
Hannah squeezed my hand. “That is so good. Okay, I’ve been meaning to call you. I’ve been going to this pregnancy yoga class on Tuesday nights. You should come.”
“That would be great.” It really would be. Truth was, I needed to spend more time on the pregnancy stuff and baby prep. My days were filled with work, and my weekends were filled with Richard. And the evenings were filled with naps and chapters of my what-to-expect books. I’d scanned a few blogs on my phone, and had a baby room Pinterest board going.
Having Hannah to talk to, someone who was going through the same thing as me only a week or two behind, would be great.
“All right, cookie monster,” Carson said as he pulled his wife close. I kept a close watch on the cookies, but he was a good boy and didn’t dare try and take them from her. “We’ve got lunch with your parents in a few minutes.”
“Oh! I almost forgot.” She turned back to me. “I’ll text you, and we can meet up on Tuesday. Maybe get a bite after.”
“Perfect.” I gave them both a hug.
Carson called out across the store to Richard and gave him a wave before they headed toward checkout.
“Sorry about that,” Richard said when he returned a few seconds later. He picked up the Daddy’s little princess onesie and put it in the cart. “We are getting this.”
“We won’t know until June if it’s a girl or boy.”
He shook his head. “I’m buying it.”
I stood up on the tips of my toes and pressed my lips to his cheek. “You’re adorable.”
We continued around the baby section and Richard found the plush animals. He pulled a bear from the shelf. “She has to have a teddy bear.”
There was nothing flashy about the bear. It was a standard bear, but the way he was looking at it made my chest clench.
“I like that one,” I said.
“I had one a lot like this as a kid,” he said, running his hand over the soft fabric.
“So, we’ve told my parents. When are we telling yours?” I asked. They were the only ones left.
He froze, his grip tightening on the bear.
“What is it?” I asked, placing my hand on his.
“My father has…ideas about how men and women should behave. He’s very gender-role oriented.”
“Okay.”
“He’ll ask when you’re quitting your job. When you’re moving in. When are we getting married? What’s the best dish you cook? How you’re going to take care of me. Questions that I don’t have answers to and ones that I don’t agree with. I don’t want you to meet him and think that is what I want from you.”
His jaw twitched, and I cupped his cheek, bringing his eyes to mine. “It’s okay. I know.”
“Desiree refused to be around him after we got married, and when we got divorced he said it was because I didn’t enforce my male rights.”
My stomach dropped. “Male rights?”
He nodded. “It’s just as it sounds. He’s my father, but I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
“What about your mom?” I asked.
He swallowed hard. “She falls right in line, because that’s how she was raised.”
“And Susie?”
He made a small huffing sound. “We can call her tonight.”
Early May
It was becoming a thing. An indecent, attention-seeking whore of a thing. As needy as a drug addict searching for their next hit.
And when it struck it destroyed all the happiness in my heart, especially when Richard was already a day late. I’d expected him on Friday night, like usual, but work had its hooks in him, unrelenting.
I no longer felt comfortable telling him everything that was going on because he stopped being as open in conversation.
“Shit blew up, and I’m sitting here volleying emails with my bag sitting next to me trying not to break my laptop,” Richard said. The edge in his voice told me how pissed he was without the matching words.
“Well, crap.” I rubbed at the space between my eyes in an attempt to ward off the headache that was coming on, mostly due to the agitation of work taking over again.
Work was the one thing that demanded his attention, that snapped its non-existent fingers and made him jump. I couldn’t even get him to come with me to a doctor’s appointment, but one phone call or email and work had his undivided attention.
I wished I was as important to him.
“I’m sorry. I was literally walking out the door when my phone rang, and now I’m putting out fires.”
“I understand.” I almost told him it was okay, but that would have been a lie. It wasn’t okay. It was tiring, and I was beginning to feel my importance slipping.
“I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
“You should get moving then. Keep me updated.” I tried to hide my disappointment, but I could feel it bleeding out in my words.
“I will. Talk to you soon.”
“Bye.” I hung up the phone and stared down at my bump. “What do you want to do today, kiddo?” There was a soft flutter inside me in answer.
I hadn’t even gotten to tell Richard that the baby was moving. I thought it was gas at first, but when I told my doctor yesterday, she said the baby had quickened. I also hadn’t gotten to tell him what else the doctor talked about during my checkup.
I ran my hand down my bump and flexed my toes against the carpet as I let out a sigh, noticing the swelling in my toes.
It wasn’t even nine in the morning. What was I going to do with myself? For months, my free weekends were spent with Richard, and it was the first time since February I was without his presence for a few hours. I wasn’t counting the times he was working when we were together, because he was with me.
“Want to see what Auntie Jenna is doing?” I asked my bump. Another flutter, and I took that as my answer.
What are you doing?—Nat
In seconds my phone buzzed with a reply. Stuffing my face with dorayaki—Jenna
Come over?—Nat
Be there in two—Jenna
I moved to my front door and swung it open. The air was cool on my skin, and I wrapped my cardigan tighter around me. Across the parking lot, Jenna’s door swung open and she headed over in her purple pug pajama pants, slippers, robe, and a plate full of dorayaki, one hanging from her mouth.
“Looking good, hot stuff!” I called out.
She held her arms out and did a little turn with a shake of her hips. When she got close enough I took the plate from her, enabling her to finish biting into the one in her mouth.
“Thanks.”
“Did your mom make them?” I asked as I set them down on the coffee table. Dorayaki were basically sweet bean paste between two pancakes, but there was just something about them. I’d had them from other sources, but none were as good as Mamma Okada’s. She said it was all the love she poured into them, but I ha
d a feeling the answer was actually sugar.
She nodded. “She made extra for you.”
“Uh-huh, and if I hadn’t texted, would I have seen any of them?”
She shrugged. “If any survived the weekend.”
I threw my arms around her. “Fuck, I’ve missed you,” I said into Jenna’s hair as I squeezed her tightly.
She pulled me tighter. “Ditto.”
“I feel like we’re disconnected in a way.” It was a feeling I hated. She was the one person I told everything too, and there was so much I hadn’t told her lately.
We sat down on the couch and I grabbed one of the dorayaki, a small moan leaving me as I took a bite.
“Even though we see each other every day, yeah, I get that.”
“I’m blaming it on the men in our lives.” And it was true. We were both spending our free time with them.
At the mention of men, Jenna’s eyes went glassy and the corner of her mouth tipped up.
My eyes widened as I watched the transformation. “Wipe that look off your face. You’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”
“What has got you making that creepy-ass smile?” She really was freaking me out a little bit.
“Love.”
I blinked at her. In the years I’d know her, Jenna liked guys, even really liked some boyfriends, but the dreamy look and the word she uttered seemed out of place. “Love? Really?”
She bit down on her bottom lip and smiled. “Brent told me last night that he loved me, and it wasn’t when he was fucking me.”
I worked a brow at her. “Is that normal?”
She nodded. “Both Taka and Ben did that.”
“How did Brent say it?”
She let out a dreamy sigh and flopped down on the couch next to me. “It was warm last night, like ‘yes, spring is finally here’ so we went for a walk along the river. Just walking, hand in hand when he stopped. He leaned down to kiss me and just said it. Bam! There it was.”
“And what did you do?”
“What else? I jumped him. I mean, the guy is a foot and a half taller than me. Hearing him say it, though…” she trailed off and sighed. “Yeah, I’ve got it bad for him. Like super bad. Like I can see marrying him, kind of love.”
