by Hazel Parker
I try to tell myself to calm down, let the tension roll off my back. But I’m still pissed that things are being kept from me. Whether for an hour or for days, I don’t care. I am still the president now, and it is only times like this that I feel like I am living in my dad’s shadow.
“I got a guy in the city planner’s office. He told me this morning that we’re going to get hit with a bunch of taxes in land fees, building ordinances, all that shit.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I look at Simon. He stares back with a passive look in his eye. I realize he is only here for himself. To say he helped or whatever, to keep his conscience clear for Dad.
“It mans we’re going to have to pay up or they can take this place back.” Simon answers.
“Who is they?” Matthew asks the question that I was thinking.
“The city, the bank, whoever.”
“So… what do we do about it?” I say with a heavy sigh. I swear I am too old to have a heart attack, but I feel my chest tightening at the thought of losing this place.
Since Dad got sick and passed away, it has just been one thing after another and I don’t know how to stop this snow ball from getting bigger. I rub my hands down my face and get my head back in the meeting.
“Pay up, I guess.” Zeke answers.
Simon snorts, “It’s thousands of dollars.”
“High thousands?” Matthew asks.
“High thousands. Almost fifty grand.”
“Jesus,” we all erupt with the same reaction.
“That’s a lot of fucking money.” Walker coughs. He has been silent for most of the meeting and I know why. He’s new to the game, probably doesn’t feel like he has a say. At this point, everyone does.
“I know.” Simon nods. “That’s why I told y’all.” He clears his throat and leans forward, bracing his hands on the arm of the chair.
“How nice of you.” I mutter before I think about it. He glares at me and I simply return it.
“So, obviously we don’t have that kind of cash.”
“We?” I cut Simon off, and he looks like he is two seconds from decking me in the face. He was never good with his anger.
“So paying it isn’t a good idea. Especially since we would only have until the first of the year, at the latest. We can try to push back but they aren’t very fond of us already, and probably want us out more than anything. Towns with MCs… they come with their problems. I get it. But they can’t push us out.”
“Agreed.” Matthew says.
“Alright, you’re the expert.” Beast says, “what do we do?”
“File a relief with the city office. Maybe we can get out of it that way. I know a guy there too, and he might be able to help.”
“Let’s do that.”
Simon nods, “Okay then. I can get on it tomorrow, but I have to get back to the site.”
“Thanks, son.” Beast says.
Simon rises and shakes them all goodbye, “I’ll walk you out.” I say at the last minute. He gives me a look but I pretend I didn’t see it and then walk behind him.
He takes the side entrance and I follow him out. The sun is too high, but not warm enough. I stuff my hands in the pockets of my cut and stare at him.
He stands by the door of his truck and looks back expectantly.
“Nice to see you around here for a change. Thanks for letting us know. Though, you could have called.” I chuckle once, it gets him to lighten up.
He drops his heavy shoulders and nods once.
“I guess I felt like I couldn’t.” He squints and looks off into the distance behind me before focusing back on me. “I don’t want this place to go down. Just because I’m not in deep with club, doesn’t mean that I do not care about it. This was dad’s life’s work. He loved this place…”
“And?” I press, stepping closer to him. I smell the chew of his tobacco and mint, and his heavy cologne from being outdoors all day. It’s weird, that he has always smelled the same.
“I guess that’s my issue.”
“What?”
He exhales deeply through his nose, looking at his toes digging into the ground. I wait patiently, I have nowhere to be.
“That he loved this place. Sometimes, I thought, more than us.” His voice is the quietest it has ever been, and I widen my eyes in shock. I know enough not to discount his feelings, but I never felt that way, so I don’t know where that disconnect could have come from.
“Shit, Simon, I didn’t know you…shit.” I trail off. I’m no good with that stuff. For a good heart to heart, Matthew is our guy. Or Mom. Me? I don’t know shit about comforting someone else. I can’t even do it for myself.
“It’s alright. I know it’s not true man, but that’s just the way it is for me. I want to—someday, I can be in the club. But right now I need to just, me for a while. I learned about bikes before women, and that’s got to be a huge issue.” He grins and I smile back at him.
“I know, I understand. I won’t hound you about it anymore.”
He nods in thanks.
“Speaking of women,” he pikes up his voice and I roll my eyes as I move to walk away.
“Come on, I came all the way down here.” He shouts after me.
I keep walking and throw up the finger behind me.
“Who is she? Tell me that much.”
I laugh to myself, thinking about Isabelle makes me laugh and smile. I don’t even know her all that well, I’m pretty sure I don’t know her last name yet. I know that I want to keep her safe, and that it might be from me too. And that even with the club possibly falling apart and not living up to being president, I can still count on the feelings I have budding for her.
It’s a rare occurrence.
I stop and turn to face him, “I’m pretty sure she’s my girl.”
He shakes his head once, clear enough for me to see, and then I take my leave.
I have a date to get ready for.
11
ISABELLE
“Are you two going to eat?”
“I don’t know. And even if we were, I don’t think I could.” I glance at Riley over the table. She shakes her head at me and laughs.
“What?” I set the menu down and ask her. We chose a nice chain restaurant for dinner. It’s half to celebrate making it through my first day of teaching and another half for my date. I don’t go on dates, Riley knows that.
“Nothing just… it’s weird. You going out with a hot biker dude.”
I giggle, “Jaxson is a hot biker dude, I agree with you there. And also, that it is weird.”
I lean forward and whisper and she meets me halfway across the table, “And the way he kisses, I could just die.”
“How will you survive sex with him?” she giggles. I roll my eyes at her and nudge her knee under the table.
“You’re crazy. Who said that we would even have sex?” I laugh at her.
“Oh please,” she makes her face all serious, “like you would walk out of this without getting a piece of that.”
I grin. “I guess you’re right.” I shrug. But the thought still makes me shiver. I have only had sex with one person in my life. My first boyfriend and first everything.
Being a nerd in high school and kind of peaking in college did that to me. I hung out with a lot of people from theatre and arts classes, so that’s where I met Jason. He was nice enough, handsome enough, but he was always just enough and that was it. I didn’t know where to go from there and that’s probably why the relationship lasted so long. I knew that I didn’t love him and that there was almost no passion. The first time we had sex felt like a chore. Like oh, we have been dating for six months so we should probably do this. I didn’t even tell him I was a virgin until after, I didn’t even feel like I could open up to him.
Jaxson is different already, though. I feel like I could probably tell him anything. That I could bare all my secrets to him. There is definitely passion. That kiss is still heating my body and searing my lips. And of course I have alrea
dy thought about sex with him, he is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen my life. He has a ruggedness to him, but a softness that I feel like only I saw last night. Even with his whole biker look, I don’t think he is dangerous. On some guys, the long hair thing could be weird; but his wavy dark locks that fall to his neck are the epitome of sexy to me. I want to run my fingers through them all night, feel them on my skin. He is tall as ever, built like he works out but not too much. He is incredibly defined though, I felt every part of his ribbed muscles when I was on his bike.
“Hello, Isabelle?”
“What?” I stare back at Riley for a good few seconds until I notice that the server came by.
“Oh, did you already order?” I say dumbly, I bet I sound as dumb as I look too.
Riley gives me a funny look, and our server just laughs. He seems a bit amused, though.
“Um, yeah.”
I laugh nervously, I glance at the menu and don’t even know what I am reading. I thought about Jaxson so much I gave my skin a flush that I can feel.
“I’ll have the… same as her.” I panic and just blurt that. Riley and I eat alike though, I think.
“Sounds good, I’ll bring that right out for y’all.”
We thank him and I wait until he leaves to ask Riley, “What did you get?”
She laughs at me and shakes her head, “The steak and mashed potatoes.”
I sigh, “okay. Good enough.”
She laughs, “What the hell were you thinking about?”
I decide to lie so I don’t get grilled for the rest of the evening.
“Um, I have to write an original short play for my workshop. It’s due Friday.”
“Jeez. I don’t know how you can continue on with automated assignments. My life isn’t measured in semesters anymore.” She sips at her lemonade.
“When it was did you even go to class?”
“Fuck no. Are you kidding? Restaurant management was the easiest of them all.” She laughs under her breath.
I nod at her and sip my water. The dim lights of the restaurant make me sleepy. I have had a long day, and just want to shower and then lay in bed. But I wouldn’t miss my date with Jaxson for the world. I feel like I am just now experiencing how a real man should be and I don’t want to mess it up.
Despite not knowing him or him being in a club, I feel like he is a good man. I even want to tell my mom about him. I only told my mom about Jason because she surprised me and showed up in my apartment. Not my brightest day.
“What do you think you’ll write?” Riley asks me.
“I have no idea.” I laugh. “I usually write sappy, women’s fiction type stuff. I want to try something edgier but I don’t want to get torn apart in workshop. I got admitted based on my writing style, so I don’t want to mess that up.” I sigh.
“Yeah, but the program is all for trying things and becoming a better writer.”
“I know, you’re right.”
“Who cares what people think? It’s not like you’ll ever see them again.”
“Uh, except every day for the next two years?” I laugh at her.
She shrugs and rolls her eyes at me. “Fuck. Sorry. Still, just do what you want.”
I nod in agreement.
“I will.”
We finish our dinner and head back home. We get there around six, giving me enough time to get ready. Jaxson texted me at dinner but I didn’t want Riley to see and quiz me. Sometimes she makes me more nervous than I really am.
Jaxson: I’ll be there at eight to pick you up. Can’t wait to see you.
Isabelle: Okay. Can’t wait to see you too.
I finally respond after almost an hour. I feel so bad, but Riley likes to let her food go down and what not before she gets up.
Since I have time, I lay on my purple sheets and grin like a school girl staring at my phone. I can see that he is typing and wait to see what he is going to say.
Jaxson: I thought you were about to stand me up.
Isabelle: Sorry, I have a nosy roommate and we were out at dinner.
Jaxson: Oh, we’re not telling anyone about us yet?
I giggle to myself. I knew he could be a jokester if he wanted to, but I quell the thought that I brought it out of him. He must be like this with his brothers or guys at the club.
Isabelle: You’re a funny guy.
Jaxson: For you I am.
I smile wider and leave the conversation there. For mystery or anticipation, I suppose.
When I feel like my stomach has settled from nerves, I start getting ready. I check the weather and then pick an outfit of simple dark jeans and a plush, cream sweater. It’s one of my favorites and I have a feeling he might like it on me, since it is tight and form fitting. I wash my face and then reapply some makeup, nothing that will get whipped in the wind or anything, and something a little glossy for my lips.
I slip on canvas sneakers and am done just in time, I might have rested too long.
“Oh, you look cute!” Riley comments from her spot on the couch. I grin back at her.
“Thanks, is it okay?” I stretch my hands out and survey myself.
“It’s fucking hot, you look amazing. I wouldn’t lie.”
I nod at her, she really wouldn’t. I check my hair in the living room mirror, I left it down and wavy but want to make sure it hadn’t frizzed up. That’s when a buzz comes at the door and I jump in my skin.
“Eek, it’s him!”
People usually have trouble finding the place; and when I say people, I mean the pizza delivery guy. It hides behind two other buildings so it’s hard to find.
“I know, Riley. Don’t make me piss myself.” I clutch my cross body bag and wipe my palms on my jeans. “Here I go. Don’t wait up.”
I walk to the door and take the steps down, finding him perched on the end of his bike waiting for me.
He looks dreamier than I remember and I feel out of luck. His jeans are tight, fitting the strong muscles of his thighs and—other places. He has on a thin button up under his familiar leather jacket, the buttons strain right at his pecs and I can almost see the divets of his abs. And his hair is already wind blown, his cheeks a little rosy too.
“Hey,” I finally say with a dry mouth. I swallow and hope some moisture will come up, but it doesn’t.
“You look hot.” He stands up and says frankly, I stare back like he spoke a different language.
“Um, thank you. So do you.” I giggle as if I didn’t meant to say it. I mean I did, just not out loud.
He lets out one chuckle under his breath and I feel myself blush. I cross the rest of the space, coming right up under him to inhale his cologne and natural scent. I can smell all his experiences on him, with his natural scent and strong cologne he wears, it floods my senses. He tilts his head down to look at me, and brings his fingertips up under my chin, tilting my head up to his. He locks his dark eyes with mine for a fast, heated second before his lips are on mine.
Soft at first, like a hello, and then it’s a complete kiss with his lips seared around mine. He tugs my body close to his, so that every plane falls onto him and I feel myself let go and mold to him. It becomes the best feeling in the world. I reach my hands up to the lapel of his coat, stretching on my tip toes before I link my arms around his neck just as his tongue dances across mine. I feel my knees go weak and surrender to him even more. Even more so when his big, hot hands come down on my ass, squeezing me without abandon. I move my hips and gasp into the kiss when I feel his cock against me through his jeans and at that moment he pulls away.
I stare up, breathless and panting, into his even brown eyes. The streetlights finally show me their true color.
“Fuck. We might not even make it out of here if we don’t stop.” He licks his red lips and swallows, glazing his eyes over my body. “Why’d you go and wear something as sexy as this?” he gives my ass a good squeeze and I yelp before he releases me.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.” I smile and bite my bottom lip. My
nerves have slowly faded away, but the heat is still coursing through my body.
He gives me a crooked smile before he turns and gets the helmet out for me. As usual, he puts it on for me and then gets on the bike first. My jeans stretch with me as I settle around him.
His warmth seeps through and I press my body to his without hesitation, he kicks the bike on as I wrap my arms around his waist, cinching his tight waist and muscles. He drives off in a faster than normal station, but I don’t mind. The wind hits me and I literally feel like I am flying. It’s the best feeling in the world, second to kissing him at this point. They both come after my love of plays but are running close seconds.
I relax into the drive and don’t notice how long it is. Jaxson goes too fast for me to really see, but we hit plain land and are just cruising down into the more country part of the town. I have never been down here, I literally got off the plane and came to the apartment, now I only go to campus. But this is beautiful, peaceful.
The bike slows and we peel around an open field. He helps me off and takes my hand in his as we walk farther down, it looks like it was already set up, when I get closer I see a blanket out on the ground and flashlight.
“You did this?” I ask Jaxson.
He lets my hand go and bends to turn the flashlight on. Once he does, it lights up a portion of the forest. I listen to the creaking of branches in the wind, and what’s probably squirrels running across the ground.
“No, we’re stealing this from someone else.” He stands back up and extends his hand to me. I take it, and we sit down on the thick quilt. I snuggle up next to him naturally, and he wraps his large arm around me to hold me close.
“You asked me what I would do if I wasn’t in the club.”
I nod, looking up at him. His angular jaw tenses before he relaxes and glances at me.
“I’d probably do something like this. Something with nature, I don’t know.” He says it like it doesn’t count, but I want to assure him.
“I get it. You just enjoy it.”
